Acquiring good characteristics
[img=left]http://www.turntoislam.com/images/tti/misc/parlakyildizlar.gif[/img]How can I acquire good characteristics?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
A good attitude is the characteristic of the best of the Messengers and is the best action of the righteous. It is – no doubt – half of religion, the fruit of the efforts of the pious and the practice of the devoted worshipper. Bad characteristics are lethal poison and lead to shameful consequences.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have only been sent to perfect good characteristics.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (273) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (45).
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about that which will admit most people to Paradise. He said: “Fear of Allaah and a good attitude.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2004); he said it is saheeh ghareeb. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Hence Islam paid a great deal of attention to laying down guidelines for treating diseases of the heart (i.e., spiritual diseases) and ways of acquiring good characteristics, which is regarded as one of the most important duties, because no heart will be free of sicknesses. If the heart is neglected, sicknesses will accumulate. No soul is free of inclinatons which, if they are given free rein, will lead it to doom in this world and in the Hereafter.
This kind of medicine requires profound knowledge of reasons and causes, then it needs hard work to remedy it and set things straight, in order to reach a successful outcome. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself”
[al-Shams 91:9]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray for a good attitude, saying, “O Allaah, You have made my outward form beautiful so make my attitude good too.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh (3/239) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (75).
Secondly:
If a person knows what his shortcomings are he can do something to remedy them, but many people are unaware of their faults and shortcomings. A person may see the speck in his brother’s eye and not see the log in his own. The person who wants to know what his own faults are may do four things:
1. He may sit before a Shaykh who has insight into people’s faults and knowledge of the subtlety of some problems and learn from him knowledge, good attitudes and manners.
2. He may ask a sincere friend who has insight and is religiously committed to keep watch over him and take note of his actions, so that he can draw attention to whatever he dislikes of his attitude, actions, and inward and outward faults. This is what the best and greatest imams of Islam used to do. ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to say: “May Allaah have mercy on a man who shows me my shortcomings.”
3. He can learn about his faults and shortcomings from the lips of his enemies, because the eye of one who is resentful will always notice bad things about you. A man may benefit more from an enemy who wants to cause trouble and mentions his faults than from a friend who wants to flatter him by praising him and concealing his faults.
4. He can mix with people. Everything that he sees as blameworthy among people, he should guard against in his own self, because the believer is the mirror of his fellow believer, and in the faults of others he can see his own faults. It was said to ‘Eesa (peace be upon him): “Who taught you?” He said: “No one taught me; I saw the ignorance of the ignorant as something bad and I avoided it.”
Thirdly:
Attitude reflects how a person thinks and the way he is inside. Just as, in general, a person’s outward form cannot be beautiful if only the eyes are beautiful and not the nose, mouth and cheek, and everything must be beautiful in order for the entire outward form to be beautiful, so too there are four requirements of inward beauty which must all be met in order for one’s attitude to be good or beautiful. If all four requirements are met and balanced then a good attitude is acquired, the characteristics of which are: strong knowledge, control of anger, control of desire, and a proper balance between these three aspects.
With regard to strong knowledge, good and sound knowledge means understanding in such a way that one can see the difference between telling the truth and telling lies in speech, between truth and falsehood in beliefs, between beauty and ugliness in actions. If this strength becomes sound, there will result from it wisdom, and wisdom is the head of a good attitude.
With regard to strength of anger, its beauty is that it is used in accordance with what is dictated by wisdom. The same applies to desire; its beauty and strength should be controlled by wisdom, meaning under the control of reason and sharee’ah.
With regard to balance, it means proper control of desires and anger, under the control of wisdom and sharee’ah.
Reason is like a sincere adviser. Justice and balance is power, and it is like one who does what is dictated by reason. Anger is to be subjected to control.
The one who acquires and balances these characteristics is a man of good character in general, and from it stem all good qualities.
No one achieved perfect balance of these four characteristics except the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him); people after him vary in how close or distant they are to him in character. Everyone who is close to him in these characteristics is close to Allaah, to the extent that he is close to the Messenger of Allaah.
source :http://islamqa.com/en/ref/101023
