advising our parents

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Deen_Al_Islaam, Jun 28, 2011.

  1. Deen_Al_Islaam
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    Deen_Al_Islaam Junior Member

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    Question: Does advising the parents against detested speech or actions encroach upon their rights upon us?

    Response: It is obligatory upon the Muslims to honour their parents, show kindness towards them and gentleness and mercy, as Allaah (subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says:



    {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents}
    Soorah al-Israa., Aayah 23

    And He (subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) (also) says:



    {...give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destination}
    Soorah Luqmaan, Aayah 14

    And He ('Azza wa Jall) (also) says:



    {And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents}
    Soorah al-Ahqaaf, Aayah 15

    So if he sees in them anything detestable, then he is to advise them with good manners, gentleness and mercy; And in doing so, he can seek the assistance of someone whom his parents respect and appreciate his advice, being careful not to scold them nor be severe in speech towards them, in accordance to that which has preceded from the (aforementioned) Aayaat, and the statement of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) when he was asked about which action is the best? And He (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) replied:

    «Prayer at its appointed time», and it was said to him, "Then which?" And he replied:

    «Honouring the parents», and it was said to him, "Then which?" And he replied:

    «Jihaad in the path of Allaah», [From the authentic hadeeth of 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood as transmitted by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

    Shaykh Ibn Baaz
    ad-Durar an-Naasirah fil-Fataawa al-Mu'aasirah - Page 666-667
    ad-Da'wah 1564, Jumaada ath-Thaanee 1417AH

    http://fatwa-online.com/fataawa/misc...od/0090515.htm
  2. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,


    It is written in the Quran that our parents become our children as they grow old.
    My mother still treats me as if I am five years old. I have bitten my tongue so many times it is sore.
    She who bore me and fed me and raised me as a Muslim..am I really going to say something to her.

    She is the only one who can tell me to be quiet and in less than a nanosecond I am silent.

    Yes, old people can get on your last nerve. They are worse than two year olds. At times I think it is easier to have a room full of tantruming two year olds rather than one geriatric.

    But, taking care of my mother is my blessing and Alhumdullila, I am grateful that Allah has given me this responsibility.
  3. Deen_Al_Islaam
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    Deen_Al_Islaam Junior Member

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    walaykoum salaam wa rahmatu Lllaah

    alhamdoulillaah sis...
  4. Aroosak
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    Aroosak Junior Member

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    :wasalam:

    I agree wholehearedly with Sister Aapa. I told my cousins the other day that I rather bite my tongue a million times that ever raising my voice or talking back to my mother. I found out that example has always worked better at showing my parents some things that I believe are right.
    sometimes even when we try to tell them and talk to them with kindness they might perceive it as their children being condescending towards them or judging them.
  5. Just a Guy
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    Just a Guy Reinventing Myself

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    Even as a 35 year old with my own adult problems, I still fear my parents and would not think of talking back to them.

    Of course, they are not Muslims, and they don't know yet that I am one. I dread that day that I have to tell them. It is going to be ugly. I will have to really work not to raise my voice to them.

    But I pray every day that Allah will open their hearts and minds so that they may come to at least respect my decision if they won't accept it.
  6. Aroosak
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    Aroosak Junior Member

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    I know the feeling. But sometimes we think things would go worst than how they actually go. Before my family knew I became a Muslim they saw the positive changes I made in my life and how my personality changed for the best. So even though it was a shock and they were not accepting of it they saw that my positive changes were due to Islam and little by little they became to embrace me as a muslimah :D. I pray Allah makes this transition easier for you inshAllah.
  7. Just a Guy
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    Just a Guy Reinventing Myself

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    Thanks, sister.

    That's the approach I am taking to it. I want to become a better man and cut out all of my bad habits. Then I can show the world that I am a better man because of Islam, and then inshallah they will be more open and accepting of my decision.

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