Anyone have a non-muslim family?

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by lozlg, Sep 10, 2009.

  1. lozlg
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    lozlg Muslima for 1 year!

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    I am a revert and this is will be my first Eid coming up (Alhamdulillah). My family celebrate Christmas but i have told them i won't be buying Christmas presents this year and i will be giving gifts for Eid. Am i doing things right? I just get confused sometimes because Im thinking.. do i buy them presents for Eid even if they don't celebrate or know anything about it. Does anyone on here have a non-muslim family?
  2. dilek
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    dilek OntheWayOf ALLAH

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    Actually there is no one non-muslim around me however your idea is great I think.. May be with the help of presents their heart tend to Islam even slightly, this is a good chance I guess. But as you said point out that present isnt for chirstmas, it is for Eid ;)
  3. happyameerah
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    happyameerah New Member

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    Asalamu Alaikum ..

    Asalamu Alaikum..

    My family are not muslim and my mum specifically is seriously not happy about me not celebrating any of their specific religious/cultural events nor are they willing to really learn about my religion and specific events such as Eid.

    I think Eid is a great oppurtunity to tell them about Islam and what you're belief is :)

    I often randomly buy my family presents from time to time, to show that I care!


    sis Ameerha :hijabi:
  4. ummyasiin
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    ummyasiin Striving for Janatul firdous

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    salaams sis, my whole family is non muslim minus me lol,....I always give dawah to them but I dont impose my holiday on them by giving gifts to them on or from them because I would feel disrespected if any of them dare say " heres your christmas gift" even though we know you dont believe in it.....understand ;0
  5. shasha
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    shasha Muslimah

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    Asalaam alaykum :hijabi: Nice rationalization. I never thought of it that way. Thanks for sharing this. I very much agree with it.

    I'm surrounded by non-Muslims, too. I'm the only Muslim in our family.

    lozlg: This is my first Ramadan, too. My mom specifically worries that I might be losing weight and end up getting skinnier. I just reassure her that the benefits that I will get inshAllah this Ramadan is what is best for me physically, emotionally, mentally, and most importantly, spiritually. :hearts:
  6. MahyarEL-Prince
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    MahyarEL-Prince Studying Islam...

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    I am also in a family with non muslims , sad but true. Insh Allah ta'ala I pray for them that they will see me as an example of how much I have changed my life in the past 6-7 months and want to learn more about Islam, I would love to teach them.
    Anyways I have already told my family please don't give me any gifts for christmas. They are not Muslim, (acknowledge the 5 pillars) but they are Iranian so the culture is muslim and we do have eid , alhamdulillah ta'ala and I will give them all presents on this day instead of christmas. The problem is I know my mom regardless is going to give me something on christmas but as the time gets closer I will keep reminding her that I will unfortunatly not accept it because I don't believe the priniciple of the day.
    Anyways Insh Allah ta'ala for all of us who have non muslim families , they will seek the truth sooner or later but Insh Allah ta'ala sooner becauser later may be.... too late....
    peace
  7. mkj-india
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    mkj-india Junior Member

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  8. lozzin
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    lozzin New Member

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    salem alikoum

    Salem Alikoum brothers and sisters.

    I too am a revert to Islam. I took my shahada in December of last year. All my family are non muslim and at the moment they do not know I am a revert. :shymuslima1:
    This is my first Ramadan and Eid and although they know im fasting they think i am doing it to support my husband (who is muslim). I used to be an athiest before i reverted but with my husband practising him religion i got to learn more about Islam and it felt right.
    I have a daughter who is non muslim and although she now doesnt believe in 'santa claus' she still loves christmas. I know its not right but i will still be getting her presents for christmas.Im stuck in between not wanting to upset my family and not wanting to do the wrong thing by acknowledging christmas.Although this year i have said we cant make it for dinner with them and we are staying at home.Inshallah i can slowly 'wean' myself from the traditional cultures of the non muslims like xmas and birthdays etc
    You may all think that i should tell my family about me being muslim but its not as straight forward as that and there are things that i cannot mention on here that will contribute to them not being happy about my decision. They respect the beliefs of Islam,although my mum is christian and im not sure if my dad is a believer or not.We never used to talk about things like that and to be honest,christmas has never been religious for our family,its always been a time for presents and family dinners together.
    From time to time i try and talk to them about Islam and they do often ask questions about why my husband is doing/or cant do certain things.

    I would like to ask you all to make d'ua for me to one day get the courage to tell everyone i am muslim and proud of it. At the moment i cant be a 'proper' muslim because im a secret muslim. I try and do salat when i can but i do not wear hijab yet. I know i shouldnt just take bits of Islam and leave bits but at the moment i am weak.

    I hope you do not think bad of me because i am not a bad person. :girl3:
  9. um_mustafa
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    um_mustafa sister in Islam

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    salams sister , I have found this and from what I have read before it is better not to give presents to them at our Eid as they do not belive the same as we do. my family are also non muslim and I faced the same problem years ago , but i told them what we belive even though they did not understand or like it, espicialy when they couldnt give xmas presents to their grandchildren , but over the years they got used to it alhamdulilah and we keep in contact and give gifts at other occations purly because they are family and keep the ties of family, Hope this helps , be strong and Allah ta;laa will reward you .

    Ruling on joining in the kaafir festivals
    I see many "Muslims" joining in Christmas and other celebrations. Is there any daleel from the Quran and Sunnah that I can present to them to show that these are indeed very sinful practices?.


    Praise be to Allaah.

    It is not permissible to join in the kaafir festivals for the following reasons:

    Firstly: because this entails imitating or resembling them, and “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood). This is a serious warning. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-‘Aas said: Whoever lives in the land of the mushrikeen and celebrates their Nawrooz (New Year) and their Mahrajaan (festivals), and imitates them until he dies, he will be a loser on the Day of Resurrection.

    Secondly: taking part in their festivals is a kind of befriending them and showing love for them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as Awliyaa’ (friends, protectors, helpers), they are but Awliyaa’ of each other. And if any amongst you takes them (as Awliyaa’), then surely, he is one of them… “[al-Maa’idah 5:51]

    “O you who believe! Take not My enemies and your enemies (i.e. disbelievers and polytheists) as friends, showing affection towards them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:1]

    Thirdly: festivals are the matter of religion and beliefs, not the matter of worldly customs, as is indicated by the hadeeth: “Every nation has its Eid, and this is our Eid.” Their Eid or festival reflects their corrupt beliefs of Kufr and Shirk.

    Fourthly: “And those who do not witness falsehood, and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass it by with dignity” [al-Furqaan 25:72 – interpretation of the meaning]. The scholars interpreted this aayah was referring to the festivals of the mushrikeen. It is not permissible to give any of them cards for their festivals, or to sell them cards or any of the other things they need for their festivals such as lights, trees or food – including turkey, candy canes, etc.

    We have already answered a similar question, for more details please see Question #947.



    Islam Q&A
  10. AmeliaJohnson
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    AmeliaJohnson Convert sister....

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    :salam2:
    I'm also a new revert. But i dont think celebrating my first eid will be a problem. I have many muslim friends around the block. Well even though my family is non muslim...i dont have any siblings just a mom who is in rehab:( Leaves behind my aunt(mom's sister) well she's kind and nice and understands me. I told her about eid and she has no problem with me and eid. She's even planning to give me presents for eid :D
    Can't wait for my first ever eid!!!!!! So excited:D


    Amina:tti_sister:
  11. Lookingforlight
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    Lookingforlight Slave of Allah

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    :mashallah:

    Hope you have a very wonderful Eid!

    And may Allah continue to guide you in His Path!
  12. zinirah
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    zinirah Junior Member

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    Assalamu 'Alaykum,
    I am also a revert, and the only muslim in my family. My family does not like me being a muslim and they do not even like me to talk about anything on the topic of Islam and Muslims, and I think if i wanted to give them a gift for Eid they would be like.."Umm that is YOUR holiday not mine". I think that if your familiy is open to new things then you should instead tell them the truth about Islam and Ramadan. Things like this is better then just giving a gift. To be honest I think almost anyone would take the gift even if it's not their belief...just for the gift.:blackhijab:
  13. ananda_00
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    ananda_00 New Member

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    Mr. MK. Jain (don't mind now you r a muslim)
    peace & blessing be on you,
    how do you impress about Islam, generally Jain people either be casual about exst of God or very conservative about thier ansector's religion.

    kindly reply &share me your story of affection towards the rightous.
  14. umm hussain
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    umm hussain Junior Member

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    My family are not Muslim either. I would not buy them eid presents because they do not believe in my religion and besides if I buy them they will probably want to return the favour and buy me something for Christmas.
  15. arzafar
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    arzafar Junior Member

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    i think eid is a great time to do dawa.
    sisters may prepare some food, sweet dish for their family members, office colleagues and neighbors etc. brothers may buy gifts.
    basically share your happiness with your non muslim family in the best way you can. Show them that muslims are happy chappies.
  16. palestine
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    palestine Servant of Allah

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    How old is your daughter? Because under Islamic law she is Muslim until either she reaches puberty or either she is 15 and she declares that she is not muslim. but since your husband is Muslim and now your muslim, i think she is too unless you are just categorizing her for some reason. raise her as a muslim because now both her parents are muslims. teach her to love eid rather than christmas. you are her first teacher. take care. wasalamu alaikum.
  17. BrotherKhalid
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    BrotherKhalid Junior Member

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    As salam 'alaikum,

    Not only am I the only Muslim in my family and in my house, but also in my town. The closest Masjid to me is a half-hour drive and although I have a lincense, I have not been able to drive recently due to deteriorating eyesight and absolutely no one is willing to drive me there. My parents are extremely Islamophobic, to the point where I have been threatened with expulsion from the house should I practice Islam openly.

    If it weren't for my health problems, I would have said "see ya" a long time ago and sought refuge among some Muslims in the nearest city, but because I can not see enough to go anywhere on my own (not yet anyway, I am on a waiting list for surgery some time next year) I'm pretty much stuck here. I get very sad when either Christmas or Eid comes up because I am forced (with expulsion) to celebrate Christmas with my family, and forced to ignore Eid.

    As some of you may already know, I gave up and left Islam a little over a year ago, but recently I made the decision to return and embrace Islam once more. Unfortunately, I must keep it a secret from my family but I have made the promise to myself that I would declare my Islam openly and proudly once I am able to leave.

    To any revert brothers and sisters out there struggling with parents who swear up and down they'd accept you no matter what, and then shun you when you embrace Islam, I understand your anger, your dissapointment, and your fear. I ask you to hold strong to your faith and no matter what happens, trust in Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. We don't often understand why things are happening for us the way they are, but it is part of the plan of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and it will only strengthen us as long as we put our trust in Him.

    Wa salam.
  18. shasha
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    shasha Muslimah

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    May Allah swt give you more strength to hold on, BrotherKhalid. :tti_sister:

    Salaam
  19. hana*
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    hana* Junior Member

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    brotherkhalid, i was really touched by youre post, i can only imagine how hard it must be and many of us take thing like this for granted. just hand on in there, Allah will help you, after hardship comes ease and soon these days will be forgotten. keep making dua for youre family because supplication in the weapon if the believer and can change fate. may Allah guide youre family to islam and make everything easy for you. inshaAllah you will have surgery soon and everything will be successful. just remember many of the companion of the Prophet (peace be upon him) were beaten, stoned, crucified, burned etc because they became muslim, but they stood firm, and they have the highest ranks in paradise. may we all be with them inshaAllah
  20. The_truth
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    The_truth Junior Member

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    Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister it is never easy to fully come out and tell everyone that you have become a Muslim but you should start to take steps to because if it will hold you back in practising Islam then you should start to take small steps to coming out with the fact that your a Muslim now because satan wants to slow down your progress and you should build in your heart the fact that your proud to be a Muslim and that Allah has blessed you with the truth out of everyone else in this world.

    He does'nt guide all to the truth but he has guided you and you should be proud of this fact. Also this Eid is the perfect time to ween your daughter off wanting presents for Christmas as you should give her the presents on Eid instead and explain to her that Eid is our Christmas.

    You don't have to tell everyone at once just the people your closest to and then everyone else. Its best to start taking the steps now because it is hindering you practising your faith.

    My sister don't ever think your a bad person because of it as it is not easy but you just need to start taking the steps and be proud of being given the truth and to display to others that you are Muslim and proud! You may even cause others to look into Islam!

    So be proud my sister and make your daughter proud too and instill it into her to not celebrate ANY non Muslim celebrations most of which have pagan roots if one actually looks into them properly for themselves.

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