Are Muslims really not allowed to have Non Muslim Friends ?

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by truthseeker63, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. truthseeker63
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    truthseeker63 Junior Member

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    Are Muslims really not allowed to have Non Muslim Friends ?

    http://www.answering-christianity.com/friends.htm
  2. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    You can engage to a certain point with non-Muslims. You really can not become intimate with ones whose very being rejects that which you hold scared.
    A conversation without reference to Allah is void. A non-Believer will at some point be unable to make the connections that are vital to being a Believer.
    I would rather have a sister who will make salat with me than a friend who needs to go to a bar to hang out. Does that make sense?
  3. Wannabemuslim
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    Wannabemuslim Junior Member

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    :salam2: Hm, this makes me think there are no muslims in my community, is it better to not have a disbelieving friend than to have no friends?

    I my self literly cant have an atheist friend or agnostic for whenever i mention religion they act sooo weird and shun me, while some of them are amazed by me and feel pity for me as i actually have morals i want to keep

    I couldnt imagine being friends with most kids at my school, that sounds harsh dosnt it? I meant it ot

    EDIT: im bored so i thought of some stuff i should have added later this morning to clarify my intention, to any christian or atheist that may see this (of witch only about to are on these forums. I have some atheist friends, only when i pray or mention god they look at me as if im some mad man.

    As for christians,even when they think they can convert me i can relate more with them than any closed minded atheist or agnostic (notice the word *closed minded*, not refering to all). This may sound strange but Christians are the biggest supporters of my beliefs (even though they there just kids like me, and know less about islam and mabey even christianity than me).

    Christians arnt always the kind the news likes us to think of them the Christians in Palestine are fighting the zionists with the muslims, in eygypt they protested with the muslims and protected them while they where in prayer. While its probably not best for me to play with them to much, i think that if there are no muslims anywhere that would be a little okay.
  4. alf2
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    alf2 Islam is a way of life

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    Most non-Muslims avoid me like hte plague once they figure out I AM Muslim. I do have some non-Muslim friends but I cant connect with them on a certain level because my mind is driven for the sake of Allah ALL the time.

    Its not that we arent allowed to be friends with non-Muslims, but its like being friends with someone you have nothing in common with. Its not going to be very deep.


    Dont go to answering-christianity.com or answering-islam.com

    They are both BIASED and we have no idea who either of them are run by.
    The answering-islam site hates Islam and takes surahs out of context.
    The answering-christianity site is just as bad.
  5. kashif_nazeer
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    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

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    :salam2:
    I agree with what sister Aapa said.It so happens that one's friend do have effect on you and your personality.So it is better to chose friends wisely,it is good for one's faith.So one should not keep non muslims for an intimate friend or close friend but yeah deal with them wisely and justly.
    Hazrat Umar(raa) said, " Loneliness is better then a bad companion."
    So it is really important to have a good company of people for one's duniya as well as akhirah.

    :wasalam:
  6. Precious Star
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    Precious Star Junior Member

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    I have non-muslim friends, but they don't hang out in bars. Obviously, if they drank in front of me or engaged in lewd behaviour, I wouldn't be friends with them.

    In an ideal world we can surround ourselves with good muslims. But we do not live in an ideal world. Living in a bubble is unrealistic. So, we build a social network of good people. I have non-muslim contacts who are so good in their hearts and in their behaviour and manners, that they put some of my muslim contacts to shame.

    Just becasue someone is muslim does not mean they are automatically generous, kind, charitable, and respectful of others. If you have people like that in your life, they will bring out the best in you -- and that includes the muslim best in you!
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  7. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    There are good people everywhere.

    However, when you call a person a sister it makes you closer. People forget sometimes it is silence that makes one the most intimate.
    There are women at my current masjid who do not speak a word of English and I do not speak a word or two of their language.
    With our eyes we communicate our love for Allah.

    I can not communicate with a non-Muslim my love for Allah. A non-Muslim has no comprehension of that. They may have a curiosity; they may have an idea but as they have not submitted they can not be at the same spiritual and intellectual place as a Muslim.

    Lets say sports. I may like baseball you make like football. We can talk about sports in general but there will come a time when my love of baseball will draw me closer to my passion. Your love of football will make you have a circle of football buddies.

    It is not that we can not foster these friendships. The singular love for submitting to Allah brings us closer to Muslims.
  8. Precious Star
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    Precious Star Junior Member

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    I agree with you Aapa, but the question was are we allowed to have non-muslim friends, not, are we allowed to have close sister-like relationships with non-muslims to the exclusion of muslims.

    We have friends for all sorts of reasons. We have friends at work. We have friends with whom we chit-chat about silly things. We have friends with whom we share our deepest most heartfelt sufferings and desires. We have friends with whom we play sports and hobbies.

    I don't need muslim friends at work, to be honest, although it would be nice.
    I don't need muslim friends to play volleyball with.
    I need muslim friends to support my life's purpose.
    Sometimes, my muslim friends fail me and I then turn to my non-muslim friends, and I am sure God will shower His blessings on them for being there for me.

    I also have had many non-muslim friends who would not have known a thing about Islam unless they had met me. In this climate of hate and Islamaphobia, juxtaposed against an increasing amount of violence perpetrated by muslims, I think my non-muslim friends do not suffer from the same ignorance that other non-muslims do. Just think, if that crazy Norgewian had had muslim friends, if his parents had had muslim friends whom they socialized with, do you really think he would have had the attitude that he did?
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  9. Just a Guy
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    Just a Guy Reinventing Myself

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    :salam2:

    Eh, most of my friends (well, really all of them) are non-Muslim. I was friends with them before my conversion and I will continue to be friends with them. I can't just very well turn my back on them suddenly because they are still unbelievers and I am now a believer. Would that be a good example? No, it wouldn't. I want to show them through my words and deeds that I am a better person now, and inshallah they too will want to know more about what is so different about me now.
  10. Shak78
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    Shak78 Junior Member

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    I live in a rural community and I think I may be the only Muslim w/in 50 miles at the least. Most of my friends are non-Muslim, know I am Muslim and that is fine. We talk about our kids, go on walks, take our kids to park ect. They know I don't drink or eat pork so when we host each other for dinner they make sure those things are not served. My In-laws are not Muslims either.The only issue was an acquaintance of my in-laws who was a zionist Jew and had issues with me. I have also not turned my back on my friends before I reverted as well, they know me and know my stance, some walked away some stayed. They see I am a better person for knowing Allah and think that is great. In time perhaps they will become Muslims themselves.
  11. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Let me try it this way:

    As Muslims we pray each day that Allah put us on the Path of Believers. Each day we may recite Sura Kafirum.

    When we ask Allah to put us with Believers and Worshipers it makes sense we seek their companionship.

    That is one reason we are all here on this website, isn't it.
  12. kashif_nazeer
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    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

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    :salam2:
    It is better to have muslim as friends.We can find best examples in the seerah,how to deal with non muslims and in the Qur'an.We deal with them with justice and kindness and wisdom.Friend is someone who has influence on you ,even though one might not admit to it.Friends do affect us subconsciously.A friend who helps you to grow in piety and helps you get closer to Allah is much better.These days,there is a lot of fitnah and we should protect ourselves lest we get lost.There is a very good post by sister Tabassum,about,'Resisting the urge to compromise'
    http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78368

    Our increasing interactions with non muslim is really a test for us that we might not start following their ways,so why take risk?All muslims are brothers and sisters of each other,like a united body,when one part is hurt the other feels the pain.This kind of friendship cannot be except for the sake of Allah and it is best.

    :wasalam:
  13. Shak78
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    Shak78 Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    What if you live in an area where there are no other Muslims. You can not just shut yourself off from the rest of the world. I have a very small circle of friends and I am the only Muslim in it. I wish I could live in a bigger city but right now I can not.
    :wasalam:
  14. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Insha'Allah, make dua that Allah increase the number of Believers in your life.

    No, we can not shut ourselves from the world. So we make dua that you encounter a community of Believers. In due time.

    We just feel better with Believers.

    We all strive to be on the Path. And when we ask Him to keep us on the Path we know His Word is True. Muslims in front, Muslims behind, Muslims to the right and Muslims to the left. A truckload of Muslims everywhere...

    Can't help it: Hallelujah!! It's Raining Muslims.
  15. kashif_nazeer
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    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

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    :salam2:
    I live in a non muslim country and area,all my cousins and other family are in other cities.I had a few friends,but as soon as I started to practice Islam,they started leaving.So,now I am left on my own heh.Alhamdulillah!It's not impossible to live without any human being.Protecting faith is better than being alone.Hazrat Umar( raa) said,"Lonliness is better than a bad companion."What is better than the company of Allah?Allah will always send believers help.Just believe in Allah and do His will,Allah will make it easy for us,inshaAllah.
    Sheikh Ibn Tayyimah said when he was in prison,"What can my enemies do to me? My garden is in my heart; wherever I go it is with me and never leaves me. My detainment is seclusion (an opportunity for worship), my being killed is martyrdom, and being expelled from my city is a journey."
    Dealing kindly and justly with non muslims is allowe and treating them kindly is a very good thing.A muslim will always behave in a good manner with everyone.Just having them for close friends and buddies,is not good.
    Wallahu 'alam.
    May Allah grant you,me and us all the company of righteous good believers.Ameen.

    :wasalam:
  16. Precious Star
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    Precious Star Junior Member

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    I think you need to ask yourself why is it axiomatic that a non-muslim is your enemy. Certainly, paradise is promised to all believers - muslims, christians and jews.
  17. kashif_nazeer
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    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

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    :salam2:
    I am sorry but non muslims are not my enemy,they are not close friends either.A bad company is very dangerous for iman.I agree that there are a lot of good non muslims,but if one can stay strong and protect their iman,it's good to stay with them but it's impossible not to be affected by one's friend,so my point is it's better to have a practicing muslim for a companion. We live in an age of lot of trials and tribulations.Iman is the most precious thing ,even if it costs losing a few friends.You are right in saying,every believer whom Allah wills will enter jannah.
    :wasalam:
  18. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Although we can associate with non-Believers, in the interest of protecting our faith we have to discover what the fundamental difference in our belief system is from them.
    The issue becomes evident when discussions involve the seriousness of the Believer in adhering to the Path. Islam is 24/7 in your life. Don't we often tell time by its proximity to a salat. Non-Believers can not understand that we are SERIOUS about Islam. There will be line that they do not cross.

    That line they do not cross is the line of liberation. They do not embrace and obey Allah. Those who submit are right next to us a billion strong and counting, marching and singing the Praises of Allah; striving to Please Allah.
  19. sister herb
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    sister herb Official TTI Chef

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    :salam2:

    I don´t see problems keeping non-believers as friends as long both respect others faith.

    I know couple here whose are vegetarians and atheist. When they invite me to they home for dinner, they serve me halaal meat even they eat vegetables only and we don´t talk about religion matters as we don´t want to hurt each others.

    When I invite them to my home, I serve to them vegetarian food.

    As long we both respect each others, we haven´t any problems to be friends.

    :muslim_child:
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  20. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    As in all things with our faith. We have a choice. We are given different paths to serve Allah.

    As we have different roles within Islam and serving the Purpose of Allah we do so in many and varied ways.

    We are very human and some are a little picky, like moi, and others are a little more tolerant. When being picky I am only telling you I love my brothers and sisters in faith. And when you love something you kinda like to be near it.

    But that is where I am in life; and it took a long time to get here...

    Hey does anyone know a single T--lb-a brother?

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