Brother in a bit of Trouble


New Member
Salaamu Alaikum brothers and sisters.

I'm an ex-Catholic, who stumbled across the beauty of Islam by accident. (Or so it would seem.) And after nine months of hiding my thoughts and feelings from my mother, I finally told her how I felt and how I was called. She didn't quite seem to realize the depth of my belief and prohibited me from saying Shahada until I was out of her house. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? Do I obey her wishes, negotiate further, or what?



Staff member
wa alaykum salam.

If you really think about it, YOU know the answer better then anyone. There is no compulsion in Islam, but Allah has given you the best gift in the world, the gift of guidance. I wouldn't exchange it for anything.

Maybe this will help though:

The Prophet :saw: (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being (person) if it involves disobedience to the Creator.”

Ask yourself this, if you were to die this next second. Would you like to face your Lord as you are?

May Allah help us all.


New Member
That there, really made me think. I had thought to myself "What if I don't see tomorrow?" (which is, of course, a possibility.) Thank you for the advice. Perhaps I return in a day or a week as Faruq Abdurrashid, the Muslim brother (Inshallah) and not Tyler, the hopeful!


Staff member
Masha'Allah, it's a good sign that you ARE thinking. some people don't do that. It's good to reflect sometimes, lets you see your blessings in a different perspective. We'll be here to welcome you as our brother in Islam insha'Allah.

As a side note though. there are no rituals in Islam. You don't need anything but a few words. If you believe in Islam, Allah and Muhammad :saw: as the Last Prophet and Messenger, you should say so now, witnesses and such are recommended, but not required. I'm not trying to push or anything. Take your time and make Shahadah when you are completely sure, but make sure that you do it as soon as you're positive.

Insha'allah, waiting to greet you properly. :)

P.S. that sounds like a really beautiful name, hope it serves you well... if you choose to adopt it
Asalaamalikum brother,

Welcome to TTI inshallah you will find this place resourceful and a rewarding experience.

May Allah swt makes things easy for you. Praying is the best of all medicines.

Nothing in this world goes without reason. If your mom kicks you out then it wasn't meant to be, and if she let's you in then it was meant to be. Only Allah knows what is best for you and what is not. So strive hard and make the best of everything you have.

You can also perform Salat-l-Istikhara:

This "prayer for guidance" is often used to help in important decision-making
anytime a Muslim is making a decision, he or she should seek Allah's guidance and wisdom. Allah alone knows what is best for us, and there may be good in what we perceive as bad, and bad in what we perceive as good.

If you are ambivalent or unsure about a decision you have to make, there is a specific prayer for guidance (Salat-l-Istikhara) that you can do to ask for Allah's help in making your decision. Should you marry this certain person? Should you attend this graduate school? Should you take this job offer or that one? Allah knows what is best for you, and if you are not sure about a choice that you have, seek His guidance.

The Prophet Muhammad said, "If one of you is concerned about some practical undertaking, or about making plans for a journey, he should perform two cycles (rak'atain) of voluntary prayer." Then he/she should say the following du'a:


Allahumma inni astakheeroka bi ilmik. Wa'astaq-diroka biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka min fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka taqdiru wala aqdir. Wata lamo wala-a lam. Wa'anta-allamul ghuyoob.

Allahumma in kunta ta lamu anna (hathal-amra*) khayul-lee fi deenee wama ashi wa ajila amri wa'ajilah, faqdorho lee, wayassirho lee, thomma-barik lee fih. Wa'in konta ta lamo anna (hathal-amra*) sharrul-lee fi deenee. Wama ashi. Wa ajila amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho annee. Wasrifnee anh. Waqdur leyal-khayr haytho kan. Thomma ardini bih.


Oh Allah! I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power; I have none. And You know; I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things.

Oh Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter*) is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this matter*) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And ordain for me the good wherever it may be, and make me content with it.

* When making the du'a, the actual matter or decision should be mentioned instead of the words "hathal-amra" ("this matter").

* After doing salat-l-istikhara, you may feel more inclined toward a decision one way or the other.

"If you were to trust in Allah genuinely, He would give you provision as He does for the birds which go out hungry in the morning and come back full in the evening"


Smile you are @ TTI
Staff member
salaam alikom

May Allah make it easy on you, try to be gentle with your mom because eventually she dosnt know nothing about Islam.

you can contact any mosques in your area if you need additional help

I know you are young, inshallah Allah will make it easy for you stay strong in your Iman inshallah everything else will ease up.

I will let you read 2 companion of the prophet peace be up on him story

1-Saad Bin Abi Waqaas

He came from a rich and noble family. He was very attached to his parents and particularly devoted to his mother.

He spent much of his time making and repairing bows and arrows, and honing his skills in archery - as if he expected suddenly to find himself on the brink of a great adventure. Folks saw him as a serious and intelligent young man. However, as is the way of youth, he found dissatisfaction with his people and their lifestyle. But more than that, he would be upset about their corrupt beliefs and disagreeable practices. For this town was Mecca and the young man was Saad bin Abi Waqqas.

Saad was a cousin of Aminah bint Wahb, and thus a maternal uncle of our Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Saad belonged to Bani Zuhrah, and for this reason, he is sometimes referred to as Saad of Zuhrali, to distinguish him from several others whose first name was Saad. The Prophet is said to have been pleased with this family relationship to Saad. Once as he (SAWS) was sitting with his Companions, he saw Saad approaching him and said, "This is my maternal uncle. Let a man see his maternal uncle!" (Make way for my uncle.)

This is the tale of Saad and his mother to whom he was very attached. Saad was still a youth when he accepted Islam. In fact he was one amongst the early few to accept Islam, and this pleased him greatly. While the Prophet (SAWS) was delighted with Saad's acceptance of Islam, others, particularly his mother, were not.

When Saad's mother heard the news of of Saad's acceptanc of Islam, she flew into a rage. She came up to him and said: "O Saad! What religion have you embraced that has drawn you away from the religion of your father and mother? Either you forsake your new religion or I swear that I will neither eat nor drink until I die. Your heart will be broken with grief for me and remorse would consume you on account of your deed and people would condemn you forever."

"Don't do such a thing, my mother," said Saad, "for I will not give up Islam for anything!"

But she went ahead with her threat. For days and days, she would not eat or drink, and became emaciated and weak. Hour after hour, Saad would go to her and ask if he could bring her some food or something to drink. But she persistently refused, insisting that she would not stop until she died or until Saad abandoned his religion.

After many days of pleading and entreating to her, Saad finally said, "O my mother! In spite of the love I bear for you, my love for Allah and His Messenger are indeed stronger. By Allah, if you had a thousand souls and one soul after another would depart, I would still not abandon this religion for anything."

When his mother saw Saad's determination, she unwillingly relented and ate and drank.

It was concerning Saad's relationship with his mother and her attempts to force him to recant his faith that the following verses of the Holy Qur'an were revealed: "And we enjoined on man to be good to his parents. In pain upon pain did his mother bear him and his weaning took two years. So show gratitude to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destiny. But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. Yet bear them company in this life with justice and consideration and follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the end, the return of all is to Me, and I shall tell you the truth and meaning of all that you used to do." [Luqman; 31: 14- 15]

2-Abu Abu Hurairah

He ( RA )became a Muslim at the hands of At-Tufayl ibn `Amr, the chieftain of the Daws tribe to which he belonged. Abu Hurairah’s name was `Abdu Shams (Servant of Sun) which changed, after embracing Islam, into `Abdur-Rahman (the Servant of the Beneficent Lord). However, he continued to be known as Abu Hurairah, “the kitten man,” literally “the father of a kitten” because he was fond of cats and since his childhood often had a cat to play with.

At the beginning of the seventh year of the Hijrah, Abu Hurairah arrived in Madinah with others of his tribe. The Prophet had gone on a campaign to Khaybar. Being destitute, Abu Hurairah took up his place in the Prophet’s Mosque with Ahl as-Suffah (poor Companions who had no house but the Prophet’s Mosque). He was single, without wife or child. With him, however, was his mother, who was still non-Muslim. He longed and prayed for her to become a Muslim but she adamantly refused. One day, he invited her to have faith in Allah alone and follow His Prophet, but she uttered some words about the Prophet which saddened him greatly. With tears in his eyes, he went to the noble Prophet, who said to him, “What makes you cry, Abu Hurairah?”

“I have not let up in inviting my mother to Islam but she has always rebuffed me. Today, I invited her again and I heard words from her which I do not like. Do make supplication to Allah Almighty to make the heart of Abu Hurairah’s mother incline to Islam.”

The Prophet responded to Abu Hurairah’s request and prayed for his mother. Abu Hurairah said, “I went home and found the door closed. I heard the splashing of water and when I tried to enter my mother said, “Stay where you are, Abu Hurairah.” And after putting on her clothes, she said, “Enter!” I entered and she said, “I testify that there is no god but Allah and I testify that Muhammad is His Servant and His Messenger.”

“I returned to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) weeping with joy just as an hour before I had gone weeping from sadness and said, ‘I have good news, Messenger of Allah. Allah has responded to your prayer and guided the mother of Abu Hurairah to Islam.’”

May Allah make it easy on you and guide your mother through you

wa salam


New Member
I'd like to thank you all for your comments and support. There is a profound joy I feel in the ummah, even if it's a small portion of it over the internet. I really am moved and feel I should discuss with my mother my thoughts and feelings once more, in hopes of her understanding.



Im Proud 2 B Me!


Welcome to TTI and Insha Allah welcome to ISLAM!

Its nice to have u join us here at TTI

Insha Allah u benifit from us as we from u!

Now Regarding ur question Islam tells us to obey our parents except when they tell us to worship a God other Than Allah!! ( giving Allah a Partner)

In surat Luqman Ayat 14 and 15 Allah clearly Says

14. And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years - give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.[SIZE=-1][2]

15. But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.[/SIZE]

Insha Allah this helps u make the right choice!!


Junior Member
Assalammualaikum brother,

Sabr brother Faruq, i know of a person who's mother was not pleased at all that he was learning about Islam. When he finally embraced Islam, all his family members were against it & he knew he had to leave. He managed to be independent. His mom still refuse to talk to him unless really necessary (like at a funeral). It is hard for him bcoz he loves his mom very much. But he knows and stand by his decision to be a muslim. May Allah help him and make it easier for him and soften his mother's heart.:tti_sister:


Allahu Akbar
welcome to Islam bro.
Remember Allah guide whom He wills and be happy you're one of them.
Well if ur mom dont agree to u being a muslim...i think you should try to tell her about Islam,try tlkin to her,make du'a to Allah to soften her heart and to guide her to Islam...and remember dont ever br disrespectful to her....always treat her nice,and only disobey her when coming to Islam,she's your mom and you could never repay her for giving birth to you...and paradise lies at the feet of your mother...treat her well....:tti_sister: :tti_sister: :hijabi: :hijabi:


Staff member

I had to say one thing...

paradise lies at the feet of your mother

I've heard that's a da'eef Hadith... meaning it's weak. And weak hadith shouldn't be used as evidence, there are plenty of other Qura'an and ahadeeth which describe the responibility, duty and obidience one should have towards parents, along with love and respect.



Junior Member

i think rejection from one's own mother is the hardest thing he/she has to face. Refusal to talk, not wanting to have anything at all to do with him/her, 'disowning' the child. This happens to some revert bro or sisters.It is a real test. :tti_sister:


New Member
Assalamu'alaikum Brothers & Sisters

Bro Faruq may Allah grants you with unlimited Sabr (patience), Insya Allah

[Al Baqarah:153] Innallaha ma'ashshaabiriin - surely Allah is with the patient.

And remember Allah's promise in Quran :

[Al Insyiraah:5-6] So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

... for Allah never fails in His promise [Alii Imraan:9]


Regarding our parents especially our mothers, Allah orders us to do good and be kind to our parents, as they've given so much since we were born.

[An Nisaa:36] Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-

[Al Israa:23] Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.

[Luqman:14] And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

According to Al Hadith, when Rasulullah Muhammad (PBUH) was asked by one of sahabah to whom he should show the most kindness,
Rasulullah replied;"Your mother"
Sahabah asked;"Who's next?'
Rasulullah replied;"Your mother"
Sahabah asked again;"Who's next?'
Rasulullah replied;"Your mother"
Sahabah asked again;"Who's next?'
Rasulullah replied;"Then your father"

So it is one's duty as a muslim, to obey, respect, do good and be kind to our parents, especially our mothers, no matter what, even if they're non-muslims and especially if they're old... for our parents have done almost everything to raise us...

Only one thing that Allah allows us to disobey our parents;

[Al Ankabut:8] We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.

Brother Faruq, what you need to do is keep istiqomah (consistence) with Islam and obey Allah's order to be good to your parents and disobey them, as Allah's order, if they force you to worship other than Allah...

Insya Allah, Allah will soften their hearts, and you will feel Allah's Grace such in these ayah;

[Al Insyiraah:1-3] Have We not expanded thee thy breast?- And removed from thee thy burden. The which did gall thy back?-


Junior Member

Ahhhh jump in the pond and join us!!!!

Youre not going to change, youre still going to be you..... so wheres the problem.

As for those who say you have to obey your mother, they are correct, only the exception...
.....being if they ask you to disobey Allah.

Mashallah someone has been so efficient and already put up the relavent proofs!!!

Just be kind and gentle (which is what you are meant to be), show her you are still you and if she gets upset and angery, just be patient. It comes as such a shock to most of our parents and time heals.

I cannot tell you how tactless i was when i told my parents!!


so come on in and join us!!!