:shymuslima1:Assalaam aleikum
Can someone tell me what is correct for me as a revert (women)if I may attempt to one of My relatives funeral (who are not a muslim)?
I have not yet find anything that
1: forbids women to go to a funeral
2: forbid me to visit My non muslim relative funerals.
Although, I have HEARD so many things. But I want proof what is correct.
Anyone please!
Salam
:salam2:
As for your first question:
Praise be to Allaah.
Visiting graves is not permissible for women. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Visit the graves, for they remind you of death and the Hereafter,” addressing men. And he used to teach his Companions to say, when they visited graves, “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum ahl al-diyaar min al-mu’mineen wa’l-Muslimeen, wa inna in sha Allaah lalaahiqoon. As’al Allaah lana wa lakum al-‘aafiyah (Peace be upon you, O inhabitants of the graves, believers and Muslims. Verily we will, in sha Allaah, join you. I ask Allaah for well-being for us and for you).” But in the case of women, he forbade them to do that.
The curse on women who visit graves is mentioned in several ahaadeeth, so it is not permissible for women to visit graves, but it is prescribed for them to pray for forgiveness and mercy for their deceased loved ones, and to pray that they be admitted to Paradise and saved from Hell, without visiting the graves; they can pray for them at home. There is also nothing to prevent them offering the funeral prayer for the deceased in the mosque or prayer-place, as the women offered the funeral prayer at the time of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and at the time of his Companions.
With regard to wailing and listening, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade wailing and said: “There are four matters of jaahiliyyah that exist among my ummah and they will not give them up: boasting about one’s forefathers, casting aspersions upon people’s lineages, seeking rain by the stars and wailing for the dead.” And he said: “If the woman who wails does not repent before she dies, she will be raised on the Day of Resurrection wearing pants of tar and a chemise of scabs.” Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh.
So the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) explained that wailing for the dead is a blameworthy act of jaahiliyyah and it must not be done. Umm ‘Atiyyah said: The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) took a pledge from us when we swore allegiance, that we would not wail. And Abu Dawood (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated in his Sunan from Abu Sa‘eed (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he cursed the woman who wails and the one who listen to her. There is some weakness in its isnaad, but there is corroborating evidence for its meaning, so wailing is haraam and reprehensible, and it is not permissible for a woman to be involved in wailing, or for a man to do that either.
Wailing refers to raising the voice when weeping and saying, “O my support, O one who clothed me, O how sad I am” and so on. The one who listens is the woman who listens to the ones who are wailing and encourages them, so she sits with them and encourages them to wail. This is included because sitting with them is a kind of encouragement. So it is not permissible to listen to them. If the one who is wailing will not be quiet, it is obligatory to leave her and not sit with her, by way of shunning her and denouncing her. If a woman sits with her and listens to her, this is a kind of help and encouragement.
So it is not permissible to listen to one who is wailing; rather she should denounce her and tell her not to do that. If she stops, all well and good, otherwise you should leave her and not sit with her and listen to her. End quote.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him)
Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb, 2/1174
Source:
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/147407/
For your second question:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for a Muslim to attend the funeral of a non-Muslim even if it is a relative, because attending a funeral is a right that one Muslim has over another and it is a kind of showing respect, honour and friendship that it is not permissible to show to a kaafir.
Abu Taalib, the paternal uncle of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) died, and he instructed ‘Ali to bury him, but the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not attend his funeral or his burial, even though Abu Taalib’s support and defence of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was well known, and even though the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) felt a great deal of compassion and mercy towards him. Nothing stopped him from doing that except the fact that Abu Taalib died in a state of kufr. In fact the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I shall certainly pray for forgiveness for you so long as I am not forbidden to do so.” Then the words were revealed (interpretation of the meaning): “It is not (proper) for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allaah’s forgiveness for the Mushrikoon, even though they be of kin, after it has become clear to them that they are the dwellers of the Fire (because they died in a state of disbelief)” [al-Tawbah 9:113] and: “Verily, you (O Muhammad) guide not whom you like,” [al-Qasas 28:56].
Abu Dawood (3214) and al-Nasaa’i (2006) narrated that ‘Ali said: I said to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): Your paternal uncle, the misguided old man, has died. He said: “Go and bury your father.”
Although Islam promotes upholding ties of kinship and treating relatives kindly, it forbids close friendship between the believer and the disbeliever, so whatever is one of the forms of close friendship is forbidden, but whatever is kindness that is less than close friendship is permitted.
Imam Maalik (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The Muslim should not wash his father if his father died as a disbeliever, or attend his funeral, or go down into his grave, unless he fears that he may be neglected, in which case he may bury him. End quote from al-Mudawwanah, 1/261
It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat (1/374): The Muslim should not wash the kaafir because it is not allowed to form a strong bond with the kuffaar, and because that implies respecting him and purifying him; therefore it is not permissible, as is the case with offering the funeral prayer for him: “Do not shroud him or pray for him or attend his funeral,” because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Take not as friends the people who incurred the Wrath of Allaah” [al-Mumtahanah 60:13].
It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (9/10): What is the ruling on attending the funerals of disbelievers which has become a political custom and a tradition that all agreed upon?
Answer: If there are some kuffaar present who can bury their dead, then the Muslims should not bury them or join the kuffar or help them with burying them, or seek to be kind to them by attending their funerals, acting in accordance with political customs. Such matters are not known to have been done by the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) or by the Rightly Guided Caliphs. Rather Allah forbade His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to stand over the grave of ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ubayy ibn Salool, and the reason given was that he was a disbeliever. Allah said (interpretation of the meaning): “And never (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) pray (funeral prayer) for any of them (hypocrites) who dies, nor stand at his grave. Certainly they disbelieved in Allaah and His Messenger, and died while they were Faasiqoon (rebellious, — disobedient to Allaah and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم)” [al-Tawbah 9:84]. But if there are none of them present who could bury him, then the Muslims should bury him as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did with the slain of Badr and his paternal uncle Abu Taalib when he died, and he said to ‘Ali: “Go and bury him.”
Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas
‘Abd-Allah ibn Qa‘ood, ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ghadyaan, ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allah ibn Baaz. End quote.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) issued a similar fatwa in Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb.
Secondly:
Attending the funeral of a kaafir in the church is much more serious than merely following the funeral procession, because this attendance implies listening to kufr and falsehood. This is something that is ignored by those who say that it is permissible to attend and stipulate that one should not participate in the rituals that take place there. Just sitting and watching and listening to kufr and falsehood is a wrong action that one should not do.
And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them. Surely, Allaah will collect the hypocrites and disbelievers all together in Hell”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:140].
Al-Jassaas said in Ahkaam al-Qur’aan (2/407): In this verse there is evidence that it is obligatory to denounce the evildoer’s action and that part of denouncing it is expressing disapproval, if it is not possible to remove it, as well as leaving the gathering where it is happening, until they stop doing that evil action. End quote.
Thus it is clear that attending the funeral rituals in the church is a great evil because of what it involves of listening to kufr and being present at innovation, whilst keeping quiet about it, in addition to the fact that attending the funeral is a sign of honour and friendship as mentioned above.
We ask Allah to help us and you to be steadfast and to guide us and help us all.
And Allah knows best.
Source:
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/145532
However, you can offer them your condolences.
Source:
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/105381
More info: Ruling on a Muslim visiting the graves of kaafirs -
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/11890
Barakallahu feek!
