There is NO age limit. Yes, you can do things by your own will. But if your father says NO, then you have to obey him: even if you are woman in your 50's and as long as it does not involve in the disobedience of Allaah.
I don't know if you know Shaykh `Aasim al-Hakeem (A lot of people from this forum know him)? The beloved brother has two wives, a LOT of children maa shaa'Allaah. But when we invite him over to London for giving lectures at conferences etc he approves of it and then says that he has to first seek permission from his mother! Seeking permission at this age? May Allaah reward him and make him from the righteous people.
And one will not understand this unless he/she becomes a parent and goes through the troubles of bringing up their own children. In the west, it is pretty common that young men in their 20's or even in their teens won't listen to their parents and disobey them because they are "adult" enough to make up their own minds. A person does not realize that his parents, especially the mother, are constantly worried about their children and their future. It is the parents that worry about us a lot, and how unfortunate are those who have lost their parents!
If only some of these westeners would speak to those Orphans and realize the importance of their parents.
If only we were to "truly" understand what our parents have gone through in bringing us up, we would honour them by having their feet on top of our heads! Unfortunately none of us do.
Thanks very much, brother, for the answer. I understand this, believe me, I do. I truly understand the pain and responsibilities of parents, and I make sure not to argue as much as I can. Everytime I feel upset with my father's instructions, I think back to the time when they took care of me and I sigh and accept it; because, truly, I do appreciate my parents' love for me. I can't really explain my dilemma with my father without saying negative things about him (it's not backbiting, it's telling the truth, but I don't like to say it anyhow); I've firmly made up my mind to never reveal the worst of his actions, as that is between him and Allah, and he is a good parent
, if not a very, very strict one. If I had to sum it out without being negative, it's just that he's not religiously inclined, therefore it's hard for him to understand my actions towards Islam.
As a side note, I am in true awe of the brother you have mentioned. May Allah Bless him for his dutiful responsibility.
Ukhti, let me just begin by saying that what I will now state is my opinion and take on this; it's not as scholarly as the brothers have provided mashaAllaah, but more based on a personal outlook. And that resides on two matters.
The first is of course your father, and in this case I too would recommend listening to and obeying him. My father is also similarly weary of the Internet and the spreading of personal information. And at first some things were very difficult for me to accept, as it seemed so irrational in my mind. Yet at the end of the day when we do realize that it is our fathers' well wishing for us and concern for our protection that they do this, it's really not that hard to do just that little bit more. And you know that there is reward and much khayr in sacrificing a desire for something which is greater (i.e. obedience to your parents in something not forbidden).
And the second bit is... watching out for your intentions and desire for this blog. I say this with the most severe of hesitancy because this is something I struggle with myself a lot. The thing with intentions and desires, is that they are flighty and difficult to pinpoint, and need constant reinforcement. Such that, although I trust in you, when you mention things like wanting a large reading base, and that questions are being sent to you, I worry for you, as I would for myself. And this is not because you yourself would be inclined to feeling any pride in this, but Shaytaan is an enemy to us all.
It's amazing actually, that today I came across this quote that had me stop and think for a bit.
عَنْ بشر أَنَّهُ قِيلَ لَهُ: أَلا تُحَدِّث؟ قَالَ: أَنا أَشْتَهِي أَنْ أُحَدِّثَ, , وَإِذَا اشْتَهَيْتُ شَيْئًا تَرَكْتُهُ
It was said to Bashr (1) "Do you not engage in speech?" So he said " I desire to speak, and anything that I desire, I leave it (2)."
(1) - He is Shaikh al-Islaam, the imaam, muhaddith, ascetic, nurturer, example to be followed, Abu Nasr Bashr bin al-Haarith al-Maroozee al-Baghdaadee. He was born 152 after the hijrah. al-Imaam ath-Thahabee said that he used to be very critical of himself and he was from the foremost people in piety and sincerity. As a result of that he subsequently buried his books. He died on yaum al-Jum'ah in the month of Rabee'ah al-Awwal in the year 227 after hijrah at the age 75 years old. [Seer A'alaam an-Nublaa 10/469&476]
(2) - Taken from Where are we from the manners of the Salaf? By Abdul-al-Azeez bin Naasir al-Jaleel and Bihaa ad-Deen bin Faalih 'Aqeel. And its' original source is from Siyar A'lam an-Nubala 10/470.
I dont know, but this just struck me because it drew many parallels. Such like, there are many things in which Allaah subhanahu wa ta`ala gave us abilities, be it writing or speaking, but having acknowledged that, when we use them, is it by our desire that we do so? Like say are we doing it because we can... because we feel good at it and like the feeling of influencing people?
I mean, when I think of Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal rahimahullaah, and how although he had so much knowledge subhanAllaah and studied for so long, he did not begin formal teaching until the age of 40. Until that point he refrained from doing so - and not because he couldnt. And when I recall about certain amongst the Salaf, how they would hate that their words were written down, asking who were they... who would hesitate in saying anything without a sound basis of knowledge. It truly does make me think how we've come to that period of an abundance of speakers, but very few true scholars.
Sister, I appreciate the lengthy answer you have given! I'm touched that you would reply out of such concern. *Hugs*
I really understand my father, but please refer to my answer to Brother Thariq, because I wouldn't like to repeat that bit. Your personal outlook, as you've said, is comforting!
Your mention on intentions struck me. Before this I had prioritized my intentions, so that just because in the main I had said I want the blog done for the Muslim ummah and non-Muslims to read for the better, it didn't mean I wanted that alone. I did want it as a way of expressing a better view of the world and Islam, in a creative way. So I reinforced my intentions again. Yes, I would like a large reading base, and true, Shaytan is an enemy to us all.
But really, I do think that writing is a gift that Allah has given me, and to know that some people around the world are sharing those views is something that makes me happy, not really prideful. Because I know if my views have ever been shared by others, it is Allah's doing. And not mine alone. Also if intentions that cause pride was ever the case, then how would other inspiring people set up blogs? Theire views would never reach us because they are scared of their intentions. Maybe what I'm pointing out is I'm holding on to tawakkal, so my heart does not waver. I read a verse somewhere, "Verily, Allah does not love the proud ones." But sis, please don't get offended, your view is truly solid and a great reminder, because we all have to be careful of our intentions.
This that you mention:
And to some extent it feels like it is because we are also a product of this society. A society where now everyone wants the most likes, the most thanks, the most reps. You can't watch the majority of youtube videos usually without someone asking for thumbs ups, or people striving to become the next 'viral' thing online. We have so much of the world now busy with getting friends on facebook, or followers on twitter just to broadcast inane things. Don't get me wrong, that's not what I'm saying would happen here, but just that our society has become geared in getting the biggest reaction, finding the most attention and drawing on it. And although that can be good, I also see its pitfalls. There is a times a certain loss of humility, and definitely with many - sadness when one does not reach the expected stage.
Thumbs up by a hundred!
You've hit the spot, you've highlighted something that is truly rampant in the society.
Anyways, Allaah knows best for each of us, but it's just some food for thought that I was thinking about, so I thought I'd put it up as well. My personal conclusion has been that sometimes, although da`wah is a praiseworthy and good field no doubt, and we all want to aid it in whatever way we can, sometimes it is better to busy oneself in the field of learning and acquiring knowledge, than being hasty in wanting to distribute it. And yes, although blogs can facilitate this sometimes and help bring what you learn to others, even if you cannot do so, you can make your own records and journals, keep your own accounts, and at least have that satisfaction and benefit in learning. It honestly is a protection of ones intentions, because this way it can really be for nothing else.
This piece of advice truly soothed my heart! That's what I intend to do right now, since I'm choosing an alternative. Perhaps there are other avenues to this. Thank you, thank you for this!
So, if one door closes, don't take that to mean the end or be sad, but look for other options inshaAllaah. And trust me, they're out there. Bide your time, keep learning and be patient with what you have and one day ukhti, I pray Allaah blesses you and all of us with the ability to bring good to the Ummah through our efforts.
Forgive me if I may have said anything of offense, and if I'm a mad rambler. BarakAllaahu feeki!
Well, there's something we both share, then. You may have noticed my more than short reply, so we are BOTH mad ramblers - with a cause. I will look for other options, and I do believe my father imposed a restriction about a blog because he felt my personal life would fall into the picture, but I do know not to even mention my name, let alone reveal my personal life in a blog for all to reveal! I would have never written a blog with any personal info to begin with! Amin to your du'a's! Thanks a lot sister
You have said nothing short of wise!
But if there are others who are giving da`wah through blogs (which is the case), then it is not Fard upon you to take this role of giving da`wah through blogs (and is Mustahabb). And thus it will be waajib upon you to obey your parents in this regard.
Brother, I understand this, too. Thanks for this bit. But just a side note again ... people's views differ from one another. There are blogs out there, and yet some touch the hearts of people, some actually deflect others, and some don't have any effect whatsoever. I won't take pride or be vain and say I have a totally different view that will capture people's hearts, but perhaps, just perhaps
, my writing has some substance that some can relate to and others cannot .... Just a food for thought. Thanks again for the ruling though.
May Allah Bless those who have read and answered! And forgive me for the late reply!