**can u see yr "fake" mom without hijab**

[OsMaN_93]

salam every one...
i av this question
===> if a couple adopt a child ... he starts to be like a child.. eg-breast fed
is the mother allowed to take hijab off infront of him? when he grows up to be a man eg. 30 yrs old lol
in other words
if the mother isn't his real mother .. is he considered as her son cuz' he lived all his life wiv her and she brought him up.. like a real mom would do ..isit permissible to see her wthout hijab ?
i think the word is mahram or sumin :S lol
just wondering

wasalam..

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

As-salaamu `alaykum.

Adoption is not permitted in Islaam, but if one is breastfed by other than his mother, the woman becomes his mahram, as do other women breastfed by the same woman.

 

[massi]

She found an abandoned baby and wants her daughters to breastfeed him so that he will become a mahram for her

Question:
A neighbor of ours found a few hours old baby. She fears for him from the mistreatment of the orphanages. She wants to bring him up, but when he grows up it will be haram if he stays with her alone in the house. She says that if she brings him up like she does with her own children, she will not able to leave him. She has married daughters and they have babies. Shall she ask her daughters to breastfeed this baby so that she becomes his grandmother through breast feeding? And so it will not be haram if he stays with her at home. Or this will be considered a disliked trick?
My mother has breastfed a daughter of our neighbor with my older brother several times. So she became a sister of my brother (of breastfeeding). Has she and her sisters become sisters for me as well or sisters for my brother who was breastfed with her only? This question is to specify the limits of my dealings with them, are they considered my sisters, or strange women to me?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

If one of your neighbour’s daughters breastfeeds this child for five feedings, he will become her son through breastfeeding (radaa’ah) and your neighbour will become his grandmother through breastfeeding, and all her daughters – the neighbour’s daughters – will become his maternal aunts through breastfeeding. Thus she will become able to raise him throughout his childhood and beyond with no problems, because he will be a mahram to her.

This is not regarded as a trick, rather it is a legitimate shar’i solution which will enable this woman to raise this child and take care of him, and there is the hope that she will be rewarded for that by Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to the wife of Abu Hudhayfah concerning Saalim, the freed slave of Abu Hudhayfah: “Breastfeed him, then you will become his mahram.” Narrated by Muslim (1453).

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=97087&ln=eng

:lol::lol::lol:

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam Al-Kashmiri,

There is a lot of confusion over the term "Adoption" in Islam. I found the following fatwa:

Question:
If a person asks to adopt a child from the orphanage, is it permitted for those in charge to give him what he wants?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Adoption of children is of two types, forbidden and not forbidden.

The forbidden type means adopting a child in the sense that the child is considered to be the child of the adopting parent and subject to the rulings on children. This is not permitted. Allaah nullified it in the Qur’aan when He said (interpretation of the meaning):

“…nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons…”

[al-Ahzaab 33:4]

The kind which is prescribed and may be mustahabb means being kind towards the child and giving him a righteous religious upbringing and sound direction, teaching him that which will benefit him in this world and the next. But it is not permitted to hand a child over except to one who is known to be trustworthy, religiously-committed and of good character, who will take care of the child’s interests. He should also be a local resident, so that he will not take the child away to a country where his presence may be a cause for his religious commitment being lost in the future. If these conditions are met in the case of both the child and the adopting parent, then it is OK to hand over a foundling whose parentage is not known. May Allaah preserve you



From Fataawa Samaahat al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him)

http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=10010&ln=eng&txt=adoption

I have researched this topic extensively since I was thinking of adopting. Adopting a child in the Western sense is not permissible, when you adopt in the Sates a new birth certificate is issued as if the child is "born unto you." Also if the adoptive parents choose, they can keep the adoption secreta nd raise the child under the false pretense that they are his/her boilogical parent, this form of deception is forbidden in Isalm.

However we can do a form of guardianship and also be considered mahrem if the child is breastfed, as evidenced by the fatwas Massi produced. The child can be fed, clothed, and given a nurturing family enviroment...this is actually rewarded greatly in Islam. It is the deception that used to be commonly practiced in the West that is strictly forbidden in Islam...the hiding of the child's biological roots. I have Muslim friends who've "adopted" (Islamically that is) twins from Morocco after consulting with numerous Islamic scholars on the subject.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

Baarak Allaah feek, I assumed this was going to raise a problem so I went to get a clarifying fatwa, but you got it alhamdulillaah.

 

[umm hussain]

Salaam Al-Kashmiri,

There is a lot of confusion over the term "Adoption" in Islam. I found the following fatwa:



http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=10010&ln=eng&txt=adoption

I have researched this topic extensively since I was thinking of adopting. Adopting a child in the Western sense is not permissible, when you adopt in the Sates a new birth certificate is issued as if the child is "born unto you." Also if the adoptive parents choose, they can keep the adoption secreta nd raise the child under the false pretense that they are his/her boilogical parent, this form of deception is forbidden in Isalm.

However we can do a form of guardianship and also be considered mahrem if the child is breastfed, as evidenced by the fatwas Massi produced. The child can be fed, clothed, and given a nurturing family enviroment...this is actually rewarded greatly in Islam. It is the deception that used to be commonly practiced in the West that is strictly forbidden in Islam...the hiding of the child's biological roots. I have Muslim friends who've "adopted" (Islamically that is) twins from Morocco after consulting with numerous Islamic scholars on the subject.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

Asalamm alaikum warahmatullah

From my understanding an adopted child becomes mahram only if breast fed right? If I decide to adopt a 2yr old or any other child before they reach puberty and they are not breast fed any more does that mean I will have to observe hijab in front of him if it is a boy and if it is a girl does that mean she has to observe hijab in front of my husband. What is that child's relationship to my other children? If she is a girl does she observe hijab in front of my sons and cannot be in the same room/house alone with them or do my daughters have to observe hijab in front of him and cannot be alone in the same room/house with him. If this is the case it can be really difficult then especially if the children have grown up together and are living in the same house.

There are some children who reach puberty 'early' in some girls cases 9years old and are still in school and are a bit too young to be married off and they are orphans and obviously cannot breastfeed them? How do you take this child into your home whilst observing Islam i.e the child will come into the family where there are other children maybe boys and girls. What happens in this situation. Maybe sponsoring is best then, just sponsor them in whatever country they might be in if you can especially if they have other relatives to look after them. At the same time how can you be sure these relatives are trustworthy and are concerned about the child's well being and will not use the money to their own benefit?

I heard there are muslim children who end up growing up with non muslims because of adoption laws in Islam. I know Islam is not meant to be difficult and it is our understanding that can be limited so can someone please help me understand.

My husband was saying he would not mind adopting a little girl from a poor background but it seems like it is more complicated than I thought.

One more thing, if a woman is not already breast feeding how does the body produce milk for a someone else's baby, if you choose to adopt a baby which one would like to breast feed before they get to 2years? I guess this is biology now but I would like an insight into that please.

May someone please respond with evidence only ?

 

[q8penpals]

Salam

There seems to be a confusion of semantics and so many different situations.

Many people who adopt do so because they cannot have children of their own - therefore, a couple could "adopt" (or sponsor, take-in, foster, whatever word you want to use) a newborn baby, but if breastfeeding is the only mark of making the baby part of the family, what do you do when you can't breastfeed? Heck, the majority of Kuwaiti women don't breastfeed their OWN child (it is much more popular with the Western women in Kuwait than the Kuwaitis) let lone thinking of taking in another child to breastfeed.

Seriously, if I were already breastfeeding a child (as in, I have a baby), that would be the least likely time when I would think of taking in another child - not because I am a mean person, it is just that we all know that a child is a LOT of work and can be very tiring and physically exhausting.

Yeah, and what if you adopt (foster, sponsor, whatever) a child that is past breastfeeding age anyway but still young (say, like a 3 year old)? I honestly can't believe that anyone who takes-in a child and raises as their own child would ever think of marriage with said child (and if the child was rasised as a sibling - kids don't think about marrying their siblings).

If you take in and orphan, do they share in inheritance? Otherwise, what will they ever have for themselves if they don't? I have heard that they inherit from their parents, but many orphans that are available for placement with other families come from poor families (as in, if their parents are dead, there are no extended family members that are able to care for them either). So, what becomes of them in the future?

I don't know - I my opinion, it seems more confusing the Islamic way than the Western way - when a child becomes legally just like a birth child, with all rights and responsibilities that go with it. Perhaps the western way can just be melded a bit (as in, the birth certificate has to keep the original parents names, but have a special certificate to indicate who has the legal rights to the child)?

Lana

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam sister Lana,

One can induce breast feeding with natural herbs, quite a few friends of mine who have adopted have done this. If the child is three or older then one can feed the child breast milk in a sippy cup. Putting the child to the actual breast is not part of the law.

I have a friend who was adopted and she brought up a very salient point. Due to America's adoption law she could marry her biological brother, (she was adopted and her bio brother was parented by the biological parents). But say she was adopted and had a brother through adoption, it would be illegal for them to marry because adoption makes you "as if born unto." In other words it tries to make a biological tie when in fact there is none. Now I am putting aside the "ick" factor of marrying someone you were raised with and addressing it from a objective point of view. Before you say this doesn't happen I challenge you to google the term "genetic sexual attraction" and you will see this happens. In effect we have legalized incest but made a marrriage outside blood lines illegal.

According to Shariah law the orphan is not owed an inheritance from his/her adoptive parents. However the adoptive parents are expected to keep the child's property and inheritance in trust and not touch it. So far the adoptive parents (Muslim) that I know of have already written their wills and have left an inheritance to their adopted children. Just because they don't "have" to leave an inheritance does not mean they won't.

The Islamic method is more protective of the adopted child's rights. You cannot lie to the child about their origins or forbid them from meeting their biological relatives. In America an adopted child cannot gain access to their own information unless a judge deems it necessary. (as in medical situation) So in essence they are telling this person they are owned. No one else in society is forbidden from having access to their own birth info, only adopted children.

The child is still loved and treasured by their adoptive family but also given the dignity of identity. They have equal rights to their information and also the emotional/financial backing of their adoptive family.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[hager]

well

jazak allah el-kair
brother
thx