Fatwa Can you ask Allah to make someone your spouse?


New Member
Assalam alaikum,

I've studied at an University (started 6 years ago, graduated cca 3 years ago) where I've met a girl colleague. I've liked her for a couple of years now and we've actually been a part of the same friends group for years, but since I don't live in a fully islamic oriented country, and generally Muslims here have a lifestyle mixed with Islam and the West, I couldn't go right away and propose for marriage. We've known each other for around 6 years and I don't think she is in love with me. However, in a month or two, she is likely moving to a different city for work purposes which is cca 2 hrs away from the city we both currently live in.

For a bit now, after praying, I've begged Allah to make her my wife in the near future and as I see that she is moving away, the realistic chances of that happening seem to become lower as time goes by. I know that Allah is the Only Who knows the truth and what will happen and I don't want to lose hope. At the same time, I am not sure if she likes me in such a way. I've begged Him to make her my wife and I intend to keep begging. However, I know that Allah will grant something if it's good for you, and since not much "seems" to be happening, I also started begging Him to make her a good thing for me (i.e "Oh Allah, if she is not good for me, please make it so that she is good for me"), since the Almighty can grant anything.

I wonder if that's the proper approach towards something like this:
- 1a. to ask to make her my wife if she is good
- 1b. if she isn't good for me, then to ask Him to make her good for me
- 2. if I am praying and begging enough

I am sorry for my English, I hope it was clear what I wanted to ask.


Staff member
Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

This isn't the right approach brother, I am sorry you have feelings for her, but its not the islamic way to get married. You should speak to the wali of a girl and avoid haram so you can marry rather than be in a long haram relationship.

"- 1b. if she isn't good for me, then to ask Him to make her good for me" - This does not sound healthy. You should focus on yourself, on your deen.. and Allah will make the right person for you come your way at the right time. Fixating on a single girl who does not even see you as a potential husband is just going to make you waste time and hurt yourself more.

Pray and ask Allah for guidance, and as I said focus on yourself. Find happiness in being, rather than having it come from someone else. There are so many girls out there, you'll be alright, in sha Allah.