Closer to Allah, further from family

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
Asalamualykum my dear Brothers and Sisters!
Raise your hand if you missed me!!! I missed you all very much. I wish I had the time to sit on TTI like I used to but I have changed jobs (JazakAllah Khair for all who made that dua for me) and i am so super busy and Alhamdulillah so much happier.
But I think of you all so often and sometimes pop my head in to see who Aapa is suggesting a second wife to or if Brother Asif has been banned (again!)
So I would like to raise a topic which I know has been discussed before but i am personally feeling this more now in my life....

i have found as time went by and I have alhamdulillah become a more practicing Muslim, i find myself closer to my Creator and hope Inshallah I continue this way all my life until I can be in front of the Almighty one day, my loved ones have stopped understanding me....
I wont go into the details too much as they are personal and should remain that way, but anyone can give advice on how do i communicate with my family in an effective way without breaking into arguements over how "extremist" and "fundamental" I have become. Mainlly these issues arise when it has to do with my life - e.g. marriage or free-mixing or loving what Allah loves and hating what Allah hates... It just doesnt seem to be something that my family understands. Sometimes I have to just walk away to stop myself from screaming! I dont want to attempt doing dawah right now (as I have tried that but failed as I dont think i am ready for it) but all I want to know is if others have experienced this, from your persepective, how can I make my new relationship with my family work - after all i am a new person :) ALHAMDULILLAH!

Look forward to hear from you all (even if you pop in to say Salaam :))

BarakAllah feek!
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

I missed you! It's nice to see you back Mashaa Allaah.

I hope that inshaa Allaah others can give you effective, realistic advice about family as I am indeed not the best person for that and struggling with it myself.

Be well.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullah.
 

sultanb

Junior Member
Asalamualykum my dear Brothers and Sisters!
Raise your hand if you missed me!!! I missed you all very much. I wish I had the time to sit on TTI like I used to but I have changed jobs (JazakAllah Khair for all who made that dua for me) and i am so super busy and Alhamdulillah so much happier.
But I think of you all so often and sometimes pop my head in to see who Aapa is suggesting a second wife to or if Brother Asif has been banned (again!)
So I would like to raise a topic which I know has been discussed before but i am personally feeling this more now in my life....

i have found as time went by and I have alhamdulillah become a more practicing Muslim, i find myself closer to my Creator and hope Inshallah I continue this way all my life until I can be in front of the Almighty one day, my loved ones have stopped understanding me....
I wont go into the details too much as they are personal and should remain that way, but anyone can give advice on how do i communicate with my family in an effective way without breaking into arguements over how "extremist" and "fundamental" I have become. Mainlly these issues arise when it has to do with my life - e.g. marriage or free-mixing or loving what Allah loves and hating what Allah hates... It just doesnt seem to be something that my family understands. Sometimes I have to just walk away to stop myself from screaming! I dont want to attempt doing dawah right now (as I have tried that but failed as I dont think i am ready for it) but all I want to know is if others have experienced this, from your persepective, how can I make my new relationship with my family work - after all i am a new person :) ALHAMDULILLAH!

Look forward to hear from you all (even if you pop in to say Salaam :))

BarakAllah feek!

:salam2: Sister. I don't know your problem in detail but I'll try to be of help using the Quran within the limits of my knowledge. So if there are mistakes, I seek refuge in Allah.

And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah ] 2.45

And when you see those who engage in [offensive] discourse concerning Our verses, then turn away from them until they enter into another conversion. And if Satan should cause you to forget, then do not remain after the reminder with the wrongdoing people. 6.68

Removing yourself from the situation is best. In that moment, shaitan surrounds you as an opportune moment.

So stand up, excuse yourself kindly reminding them (assuming it is your parents you're speaking to):

And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.8.28
Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward. 64.15

Apologize to them that you have become a great trial to them. Then make wudu with cold water, du'a for guidance and family, salat sunnah if permissible (time).
 

Ahsen

Junior Member
Walekuamssalam

Make this dua in your salah.

"Allahumma rabbi zidni ilma" . What we lack most of the times is knowledge,on how to handle a situation. When we understand a situation we can handle it in the best manner.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Hey sweetie, I have had to tend to my flock and my little world so I have not made any suggestions except to one sister who is looking and I suggested that she ask the husbands of her friends to marry her. Needless to say she is miffed at me.

As for family. Don't you just love them. I think sometimes it is easier to go and battle the world than walk into your den. We make them think about what is lacking in their lives and no-one likes that. When something is wrong we say Alhumdullila, this must be a blessing from Allah and I do not have the wisdom to see its benefit yet. When something is right we say Alhumdullila, Allah subhana wa taala has blessed me.

As we rely more and more on Allah subhana wa taala we really do not care what anyone thinks of us. We focus on the simple fact am I being obedient to my Creator and His Messenger, swas.

I worry about the Day of Judgement. I worry about my scales. Each day I ask to be forgiven and I supplicate that I am able to forgive others. So hang in there and when someone gets on your nerves drop a line here.
 

a_stranger

Junior Member
Dear sister we are very happy to have you again. I think that following the example of our prophet salla Allah alaihi wa sallam can make us come closer to others. I mean if we have the same kindness, ....... we forgive, help, say good words, treat people nicely then this can help a lot. Stop any kind of argument and smile in their faces. Have patience ....i pray that Allah guide us and your family.
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

Hiya ukht! Welcome back.

Been there, done that. I think my house was a laboratory for me and my family and friends the specimen I experimented on. I just didn't knew what'll work and kept on changing ways. Ukhti, my advice to you is. Do your best. They react they way they do because it's new and strange to them. Like the brother above said deal with it with patience and prayers. Those who are upon the batil or thnk the Haqq is queer, has no grounds to stand on. They'll give in soon. You'll be left to do as you do.

Oh and when it happens you'll be clueless like me. I don't know what worked on my family. May be Allaah exhausted them so they leave me alone. I'm having trouble with step two though. How to bring them on the same path, I'm inspired to walk on. I'm having trouble being a good example or a patient da'ee.

Just stick to perfecting yourself and they'll leave you alone Inshaa`Allaah. They'll accept as you are and won't target you.
 

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
JazakAllah khair to all brothers and sisters....
Sister SAM i was aware you were going through the same thing so was looking forward to your reply. I have thought about you when these things happened to me...

One ayah that always comes to my mind (posted by kalamazoo and remimded me to bring it up here) is "Do the people think that they will be left alone after they have once said, "We have believed," and they will not be tested? 1 The fact is that we have put to test all those who have gone before them.2 Surely, Allah has to see 3 who are the truthful and who the liars."

It makes me think, why should i think that Allah will leave ME... I will be tested and this is quite a relevant ayah for me...

Well im just trying my hardest to avoid religious topics now with my family. when the time comes for me to speak, i will be ready inshAllah.

BarakAllah feek :)
 

kalamazoo

'Millat "IBRAHIM" {AleyhiSalaam}
asalaam aleykum;



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