:D it's me again and I need help!

Shannonx

Junior Member
:salam2: I have a couple of questions
Alright, well Ramadan is getting close and I need some tips on fasting. This will be my first time ever fasting, and any sort of advice for a new timer will be great. I'm kind of worried, because usually when I put my cell phone's alarm clock on and I wake up early, I don't feel like getting up at all and I wouldn't feel like eating a lot, but I know i'm going to have to or else i'll be real hungry through out the day. I'm just worried I won't be motivated enough. So is there any advice any of you can give me so I will be motivated enough and advice where I can complete my 5 prayers. I'm trying to get the courage to call the masjid, but i'm still to shy to call sadly lol but i'm still ganna try.

Another thing is, before Ramadan I have to tell my parents i've accepted Islam. If I don't, then i'll most likely have to lie about what i'm doing or not participate in Ramadan at all. And I don't want neither to happen, so i'm pretty much at the point where I have to tell them. But i'm starting to get real nervous. I've had chances to tell them, but I couldn't say the words. So i'd be happy with any advice given to me.

Thank you! :)
 

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
:salam2: I have a couple of questions
Alright, well Ramadan is getting close and I need some tips on fasting. This will be my first time ever fasting, and any sort of advice for a new timer will be great. I'm kind of worried, because usually when I put my cell phone's alarm clock on and I wake up early, I don't feel like getting up at all and I wouldn't feel like eating a lot, but I know i'm going to have to or else i'll be real hungry through out the day. I'm just worried I won't be motivated enough. So is there any advice any of you can give me so I will be motivated enough and advice where I can complete my 5 prayers. I'm trying to get the courage to call the masjid, but i'm still to shy to call sadly lol but i'm still ganna try.

Another thing is, before Ramadan I have to tell my parents i've accepted Islam. If I don't, then i'll most likely have to lie about what i'm doing or not participate in Ramadan at all. And I don't want neither to happen, so i'm pretty much at the point where I have to tell them. But i'm starting to get real nervous. I've had chances to tell them, but I couldn't say the words. So i'd be happy with any advice given to me.

Thank you! :)

:salam2:

I once felt like that and I was really lazy and decided not to eat breakfast or drink anything. Big mistake and I learned the hard way..I fainted a few times throughout the day because of not eating or drinking...That should be motivation enough lol.

Plus the Prophet (SAW) said "Take meal a little before dawn, for there is a blessing in taking meal at that time.”

I found some tips on suhoor and what to eat from this girls blog

Consume a light sahur. Eat whole wheat or oat cereal or whole wheat bread, 1-2 serving with a cup of milk. Add 2-3 teaspoons of olive oil or any other monounsaturated or polyunsaturated fats in a salad or the cereal. Eat 1-2 servings of fruits, as a last item.

EAT
* Complex carbohydrates during the meal before Dawn (sehri. or suhur) so that the food lasts longer making you less hungry.
* Haleem is an excellent source of protein and is a slow-burning food.
* Dates are excellent source of sugar, fibre, carbohydrates, potassium and magnesium.
* Almonds are rich in protein and fibre with less fat.
* Bananas are a good source of potassium, magnesium and carbohydrates.

* Avoid over-eating especially during the meal before Dawn (sehri. or suhur)
* Avoid too much tea during the meal before Dawn (sehri. or suhur). Tea makes you pass more urine taking with it valuable mineral salts that your body would need during the day.

* Slow-digesting foods are foods that contain grains and seeds like barley, wheat, oats, millet, semolina, beans, lentils, whole meal flour, unpolished rice, etc. (called complex carbohydrates). These will help up to 8 hours while fast-digesting foods last 3-4 hours.
AVOID
* Fried and fatty foods.
* Foods containing too much sugar.

As for your parents, maybe you should type a letter in order to get some ideas down . I find that writing things down before saying them helps out. I am in the process of writing a letter to my mom...so far 4 pages lol and that is not elaborated.

I will make du'a that Allah (SWT) makes it easy for you during Ramadaan and telling your parents.

:wasalam:
 

sajjuaiah

Junior Member
As-salaam Alaikum,

May Allah hlep you, I am very happy to hear that your are reverted to Islam.

and also you want to do fasting in this beautiful month of Ramadan.

Please find the below details Related to Ramadan :


Fasting – A Great Act of Worship

From Islamic Newsletter 'As-Sunnah' Issue no: 9

Adapted from the book ‘Fasting - A great Act of Worship’ by Shaikh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-Uthaimeen and translated by Dr. Abdullah al-Farsi.



The Virtues of Ramadaan
Allah says: “O you who believe! Fasting has been prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may become Muttaqoon (the pious).” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 183] Fasting is a great act of worship, if it was not then Allah, the All Wise would not have made it obligatory on all nations.

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) narrates: “The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “When the month of Ramadaan starts, the gates of Jannah (Paradise) are opened and the gates of Hell are closed, and Satans are chained.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee vol: 3, no: 123 and Saheeh Muslim no: 2361 and 2362]

The gates of Jannah are opened as an encouragement for those who seek rewards from Allah and perform righteous deeds. Likewise, the gates of Hell are closed, since less sins are committed in this sacred month and the Shaytaan is chained in order to prevent him from misleading the people and attracting them to sinful acts.

Amongst the virtues of fasting is that it is an atonement of sins. Narrated Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “He who observed the fasts of the month of Ramadaan out of sincerity and hoping for the reward from Allah, he will have his past sins forgiven.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee vol: 3, no: 125]

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) reported a Qudsi Hadeeth: “Allah says: “All the deeds of Adam's children belong to them, except fasting, which belongs to Me, and I will reward it. Fasting is a shield (against the Hell and sins). If one of you happens to be fasting then he should avoid sexual relations with his wife, and should avoid quarreling. If someone quarrels with him, let him say: 'I am fasting.' By Him in Whose Hand is my soul, the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better in the Sight of Allah than the musk.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 118) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 2567)]

In this Hadeeth, Allah distinguished the sincere fast from all good deeds and He favored the fast to be greatly rewarded. Fasting is called a shield against Hell Fire because it protects the fasting person from shameful and unjust deeds, which in turn defend him from the Hell-Fire.

Fasting is a praiseworthy act, which carries two occasions of joy for the believer; one while he breaks his fast and enjoys the bounties of Allah, i.e. he was favored with the Mercy of Allah and granted the ability to fast and worship him, while others were deprived from this blessing. The second is when he will meet his Lord and enjoy the abundant rewards of fasting. Another virtue of fasting is its intercession on the Day of Judgement.

The Wisdom behind Fasting:
Fasting is a great act of worship, which a Muslim performs by avoiding all his desires, solely to please His Lord, while hoping for His Mercy and Rewards. Fasting proves the slave’s great love for Allah and devotion to Him, because man by nature is desirous and he only prevents his desires and cherished acts to acquire something better and more esteemed.

Fasting is a means of attaining Taqwa (piety) and righteousness. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “He who does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah does not need his refraining from eating and drinking.” [Saheeh Muslim (no: 2486)] Thus, one who fasts refrains from all evil deeds and he is more inclined and receptive to the Words of Allah and His Commandments, which make it easy for him to become pious and devout to Allah.

A rich man’s fast is more appreciated because even though all the means and food present with him, he abstain from them following the Command of Allah and suffers the hardships faced by the poor and the needy. This helps him maintain humbleness and motivates him to help those in need; thus fasting prevents pride and egoism.

Apart from these spiritual benefits, fasting also includes various health benefits; it reduces the intake of food and relaxes the digesting system. Indeed, Great is the wisdom of Allah, and great are His Graces!

When does fasting begin?
Allah says: “So whoever of you sights (the crescent of the first night of) the month (of Ramadaan), he must fast that month.” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 185]

Fasting begins upon sighing the new moon. However, it is not incumbent on every individual to sight the new moon. If a trustworthy Muslim testifies the sighting of the new moon, then everybody should observe fasts.

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) narrated: “A bedouin came to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and reported: “O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam), I have seen the new moon of Ramadaan.” Thereupon, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) asked the man: “Do you bear witness that ‘Laa ilaha illa Allah.’” (i.e. there is no god worthy of worship except Allah)?” “I do.” said the bedouin. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) further asked him whether he testifies that Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) is the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam). The bedouin affirmed that too. Thereupon, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) asked Bilaal (radhi allahu anhu) to announce the beginning of Ramadaan.” [Sunan Abu Dawood no: 2333 and 2334. It is weak according to Shaikh al-Albanee]

Ibn Umar (radhi allahu anhu) also confirmed the practice of sighting the new moon, saying: “The people were seeking the new moon. Having sighted it myself, I reported to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam). He began his fast and ordered the people to begin theirs, too.” [Sunan Abu Dawood no: 2335 (saheeh)]

He who sights the new moon of Ramadaan must inform those in authority in the Muslim government or community. Once the Muslim government announces the beginning of Ramadaan upon the sighting of the new moon, it becomes incumbent on all Muslims to begin their fasts.

Astronomical calculations should not be relied upon, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) clearly commanded to initiate fasting on seeing the new moon and not upon astronomical calculations. If it becomes difficult to see the moon due to bad weather conditions, then the Muslims may complete the month of Shabaan, i.e. 30 days of the month preceding Ramadaan, and then initiate their fasts. He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Fast when it (the moon) is seen and cease fasting when it is seen, so if it is concealed by clouds, then complete thirty days of Shabaan.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 4 no: 106) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 1081)]

It is not permissible to fast a day or two before Ramadaan, assuming that it might be Ramadaan. Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “None of you should start Ramadaan by fasting a day or two before it, except for a man fasting his usual fast, then let him fast that day.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 138)]

Who should fast and who should not?
Fasting is obligatory on every sane, mature and healthy Muslim. Young children are encouraged to fast. [Saheeh al-Bukharee vol: 3, no: 181] Exempted are those who suffer terminal illnesses, or are too old to fast. Allah does not overburden His slaves.

Permission to abstain from fasting is granted to those travelers, who do not travel for the purpose of breaking fasts. Although it is permissible to break one’s fast during travel, it is praiseworthy to maintain the fast if no hardships are imposed. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) was asked about fasting on a journey, he replied: “Fast if you wish and break it if you wish.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 164) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 2487)]

Ibn Abbas (radhi allahu anhu) said: “Do not condemn one who observes fast, or one who does not observe it (in a journey), for the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) observed fast in a journey or he did not observe it (too).” [Saheeh Muslim (no: 2471)]

In any case, travelers should make up the missed days, once Ramadaan is over and they are back home.

Sickness: As for those whose sickness does not allow them to fast, they fall into three categories:

a) If fasting does not impose hardships and does not harm, then it is better to fast.
b) If fasting is hard but not harmful, then he is permitted to break his fast.
c) If fasting is harmful for him, then he is ordered to abstain from fasting, because Allah says: “Do not kill yourselves.” [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 29] “Do not throw yourselves into destruction.” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 195]

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “There is (to be) no harm or reciprocating harm.” [(saheeh) Musnad Ahmad, Ibn Majah (Saheeh al-Jami as-Sagheer no: 7517)]

Missed days must be made up as soon as Ramadaan is over and one is healthy again:

Women: During menstrual period or the post-natal bleeding, women should abstain from fasting. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 172)]. They must make up their missed days as soon as the fasting month is over. The pregnant or breast feeding women, whose health or the health of the suckling baby might be effected due to fasting, should break her fast and make up the missed days later.

Mujahid: It is also recommended for those who engage in combat in the Way of Allah to break their fasts. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) once commanded his companions: “You are going to meet your enemy in the morning, abstaining from fasting is better for your strength, so break your fast.” [Saheeh Muslim (no: 2486)]

Praiseworthy Etiquettes of Fasting

(A) Suhoor: The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Take (the meal of) Suhoor because there is blessing in it.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 146) and Saheeh Muslim (2412)]. Even drinking a cup of water instead of a meal for Suhoor has blessings, since taking Suhoor implies obeying the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and following his Sunnah. Besides, Suhoor also adds to the physical health with the essential nutrition and strength required to fast. [see Fatawah as-Siyaam, p.40]

(B) Iftaar: Breaking the fast as soon as the sun sets. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The people will not cease to be upon good as long as they hasten in breaking their fast.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee 4/173 & Saheeh Muslim 1093]

(C) Invoking Allah upon breaking fast.

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Indeed, there is for the fasting person, when he breaks his fast, a supplication which is not rejected.” [(Saheeh) - Ibn Majah (1/557) ]

Supplication:

"Dhahabadh dhama’u wabtallatil ‘urooqu wa thabatal ajru insha Allah"

“The thirst has gone, the veins are moistened and the reward is certain, Insha’Allah.”
[Abu Dawood (2/306)]

(D) Reciting the Qur'aan as much as possible during the month of Ramadaan.

Practices which Break the Fast

1 - Sexual intercourse in the daytime. The willful violation of the fast by this practice requires the fast of sixty consecutive days in order to make up the day. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 57) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 2457)]

2 - Willful ejaculation by means of kissing and caressing, etc. Wet dreams and unintentional ejaculation do not break the fast.

3 - Eating, drinking, smoking or taking any food substitutes such as receiving blood, glucose, or IV. substances during the fast.

4 - Intentional vomiting.

5 - Menstrual bleeding. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 172)] Regardless of the time when the menses begins. The same rule applies to the post-natal bleeding.

NOTE: Days in which the above 2 to 5 points take place are to be made up a day for a day once Ramadaan is over.

Applying Kohl (surmah), eye, ear or nose drops do not break the fast because they are neither food nor its substitute. Wearing perfumes, using the Siwaak or toothbrush without toothpaste do not break the fast, since it has been reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) used to do so. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The siwaak is a means of cleansing the mouth and pleasing the Lord.” [Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer (no: 3695)]

NOTE: It should be mentioned here that using toothbrush with toothpaste in the fast is disliked.

Actions that should be avoided while Fasting:

Carelessness in performing other acts of worship: Performing the other acts of worship and duties is most important and Salaat is of specific importance, because without it no act of worship is accepted by Allah.

Not praying in Congregation: Praying in congregation is a great aspect in our religion, thus everyone must attend the prayer. It is reward twenty-seven times greater than the prayer performed individually. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 1, no: 618)]. Once, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) was about to burn the houses of those who did not attend the congregational prayers. This was due to the gravity of their sin. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 1, no: 17) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 1369)]
Regularly attending the congregational prayer is directed to men; the best place for a woman is to pray is her house. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Do not prevent your women (from going to) the Masjid, but their houses are better for them.” [(saheeh) Musnad Ahmad, Abu Dawood, al-Haakim, Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer no: 7458]

Bad behavior such as lying, cheating, music, backbiting, slandering, etc. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “No slanderer shall enter Paradise.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 8, no: 82) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 180)] and: “There will exist in my Ummah those who will deem unlawful things lawful (such as) fornication, silk for men, intoxicating beverages and musical instruments.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee 7/494)]

In a Fatawah (religious ruling), the Shaikh further explains that the fasting of a person who engages in forbidden speech is not invalidated, but its rewards are diminished. The gravity of his sin(s) might be so immense that it outstrips all the rewards for his fast. [Fatawah as-Siyaam]

The Virtues of the Last Ten Days of Ramadaan It has been reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) worshiped Allah more in the last ten days of Ramadaan. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 241), and Saheeh Muslim (no: 2643-2644)]

He used to awaken his family in the night so that they may not loose the benefit of these blessed nights. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 241) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 2643)]

It is also reported that he used to make Itikhaaf by spending the last ten days in the Masjid. [Saheeh al-Bukharee (vol: 3, no: 242) and Saheeh Muslim (no: 2636)]
 

somewhatinspired

Junior Member
check

my latest post, because someone attached a very and i repeat very very very
useful pdf document all about Ramadan.

this is my first Ramadan as well and i am very nervous as well

the packet that was given to me is very useful and not too too long.
 

Shannonx

Junior Member
:salam2: :ma:
I just found out one of my friends is going to participate in Ramadan this year. That makes me verrry happy.
 

Aliyah206

Junior Member
assalamu aliykum
mashllah am happy for you dear..one
i wished you lived in seattle i would of held your hands through the whole RAMADAN helping ya with the processes..but since your far from here i ask ALLAH subhanahu watalla to help u emationally and physically throught this blessed month of RAMADAN.. and as for your parents ALlah is with ya.tell them the truth and maybe allah will soften their hearts too..they might accept islam too..you'll never know..TRUST in ALLAH and do what you think is right..inshallah our dua's are with you..May allah make things easy for you..stay strong..peace be wit ya
 

Bluegazer

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum sister Shannonx,


I believe my brothers and sisters in Islam have answered your first question about Ramadhan. I'll try and help with the second question [telling your parents about your conversion to Islam].


Please try and follow the following points:


1- Before you tell them, ask Allah the Almighty to help you and make it easy for you, and put your trust in Him.


Remember that Allah the Almighty has said:

And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things.

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 65:last part of verse 2 and first part of verse 3]


2- Remember the following translation of the meanings of the Qur'an:

Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight are dearer to you than Allâh and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His Cause, then wait until Allâh brings about His Decision (torment). And Allâh guides not the people who are Al-Fâsiqûn (the rebellious, disobedient to Allâh).

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 9:24]


3- Take practical steps to minimize and/or eliminate any bad reactions from your parents. I have the following suggestions:


a) You don't have to tell both of your parents at the same time. If you feel that your mother is more understanding, then talk to her first. If she's able to understand the reasons for your conversion, then your father will listen to his wife and believe her when she says that their daughter [i.e., you] is mature enough and was not tricked by some cult.


b) From previous conversations on this forum, I understood that your parents are Roman Catholic. Therefore, quote the official Vatican documents that show that the Church admits that Muslims worship God Almighty and believe in Jesus Christ [peace be upon him] as a Prophet and in his mother the Virgin Mary.


Please click on the following link to see the quotation to these documents, then go [from there] directly to the vatican website and show them these texts on the vatican website:

http://www.imanway.com/en/showpost.php?p=13419&postcount=1


For example, Pope John Paul II wrote the following:

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, which I approved 25 June last and the publication of which I today order by virtue of my Apostolic Authority, is a statement of the Church's faith and of Catholic doctrine, attested to or illumined by Sacred Scripture, Apostolic Tradition and the Church's Magisterium. I declare it to be a valid and legitimate instrument for ecclesial communion and a sure norm for teaching the faith.


So, when they see that the Catholic Church actually admits Muslims do worship God Almighty and believe in Jesus Christ [peace be upon him], according to official Church documents -such as the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Nostra Aetate and Lumen Gentium- then they will be forced [God willing] to give up any of the nonsense they may have heard on TV that Muslims worship the moon [believing the lies that say that Allah is the moon god, I seek refuge with Allah from such a saying].


These statements of the Catholic Church have actually -after the grace of Allah the Almighty- led some Catholics to Islam. Please click on the following link to read the story of Michael Byrne:

http://www.imanway.com/en/showpost.php?p=14296&postcount=11


And take special note of the following phrase he used:

Though surprised at my conversion to Islam, none of my Catholic family spoke against the published opinions of the world's Catholic bishops. They wished me well in my new faith.


And that's what I hope -God willing- will be the case with your family.


c) Collect all the Qur'anic verses that mention the high status of Jesus Christ [peace be upon him] and the Virgin Mary, and show it to your parents. That's bound to -God willing- decrease any animosity in their hearts towards Islam.


d) Since they might distrust any media production of Muslims, show them -at the beginning- favourable documentaries about Islam that have been produced by the Western media.


Please click on the following link:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=88428&postcount=5


e) If they start asking you about why you left Christianity, then mention to them that New American Bible [found on the official Vatican website] actually admits that the Story of the Adulteress [John 7:53-8:11] was not found in all the early Greek manuscripts.


Please read the following:

17 [⇒ 7:53-⇒ 8:11] The story of the woman caught in adultery is a later insertion here, missing from all early Greek manuscripts. A Western text-type insertion, attested mainly in Old Latin translations, it is found in different places in different manuscripts: here, or after ⇒ John 7:36 or at the end of this gospel, or after ⇒ Luke 21:38, or at the end of that gospel. There are many non-Johannine features in the language, and there are also many doubtful readings within the passage. The style and motifs are similar to those of Luke, and it fits better with the general situation at the end of Luke 21:but it was probably inserted here because of the allusion to ⇒ Jeremiah 17:13 (cf the note on John ⇒ John 8:6) and the statement, "I do not judge anyone," in ⇒ John 8:15. The Catholic Church accepts this passage as canonical scripture.

Source: http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PXF.HTM#-3TU


Tha Catholic Chucrh accepting this story as canonical should carry no weight.


Also, please read my posts in the thread "Is the Bible corrupt?". I know it's a very long reading exercise, but I hope you'll -God willing- benefit greatly from it:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10927&page=2
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10927&page=3


f) When you tell your mother, make sure to kiss her on her forehead and show her that you'll always be their daughter, and that your service to them and good manners towards them will increase. Tell her that you'll abide by what they say -as long as it does not go against Islam-, and let your actions prove your words.

Kiss your father on the forehead as well, and tell him that because of Islam, you'll be more careful about avoiding boyfriends and drinking and all kinds of bad things like partying....etc. Although he might not admit this, fathers really worry about their daughters in this regard, and your words and actions [which demonstrate that you'll speak and act modestly in front of other men] will be a great relief to him.


g) Practice having patience, since you might hear a lot of negative comments which show big ignorance about basic things in Islam. Reply calmly and with a smile, and if you can't manage that, then go away somewhere quiet where you can recollect your thoughts.


Do not consider it a failing on your part if your words don't have an immediate effect. It will take time for them to adjust to your conversion to Islam. Just make sure your actions show the proper way a daughter has to treat her parents, and always show that your sense of humour is still there.


h) After the the fact that Muslims worship God Almighty and believe in Jesus [peace be upon him] starts to make sense to your parents, and after you show them the Western documentaries that are favourable to Islam [mentioned in paragraph (d) above], show them some of the videos of Baba Ali. That will -God willing- destroy the sterotype that Muslims are always grim faced, lack any sense of humour and fanatical. You choose which video to show them first from the following links [make sure you choose one that has a lot of humour in it]:

http://www.ummahfilms.com/season1.html
http://www.ummahfilms.com/season2.html


i) Ask Allah the Almighty to soften the hearts of your parents towards you, and to guide them to Islam.


I'm sorry for this long post. I hope my suggestions will -God willing- help you.


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum
 

khalillulah

Junior Member
:salam2:
may Allah give you the strength and the courage to fast, and give all of us the full reward of this blessed month. aminaa
uzkurnii fii duaikum.
maasalam.
 

Shannonx

Junior Member
:salam2:
JazakAllahu Khair Blugazer and everyone else.

Great ideas. I'm thinking of telling them hopefully tomorrow, if I feel like it's the right time too.
 

virtualeye

Tamed Brother
:salam2:
JazakAllahu Khair Blugazer and everyone else.

Great ideas. I'm thinking of telling them hopefully tomorrow, if I feel like it's the right time too.

AssalaamuAlaikum,


Just take light dinner in the night (Iftar time), it can be fruits and other things containing less oil/fat. This way, it will make you hungry before dawn InshaAllah. So at dawn you can take heavier meal.

Wassalaam
 

Mohsin

abdu'Allah
Assalamu-alaikum

:salam2:

Alhamdu-lillah my brothers and sister have given you great advice, mashaAllah. I just wanna say that sister you are in my duaas and I ask Allah SWT to make it easy for you and give you the courage and faith that will keep you steadfast on his deen, aameen.

Take care Sister and keep writing to us,
Ma'assalaam :)
 

Shannonx

Junior Member
:salam2:
So I said I was going to tell them today, but I ended up not telling them. :(
I don't know why it's so hard to tell them.

I'm so confused. What if I don't tell them before Ramadan and it effects my fasting?
 

Karima

Junior Member
Asalamualikum,

For your first Ramadan, focus on Allah and the purpose in this. You will be focusing on what you are wanting to make yourself a better person to be.

Keeping with your prayers, and avoiding food and water, and most of all, reading the Qur'an can be your way to be 'one' with Allah.

This might not be a time to encourage your parents into what you are doing, since all discourse might happen, which could dampen your aim of Ramadan, or try to 'prove' Ramadan to them, while you are living it, thus taking away from the simple focus and seriousness of it, to begin with.

By all means, I do not discourage your loving parents to be kept in the 'dark' about what you have been drawn to, since Allah has opened your eyes and understanding to this.

There is a time and a place for your parents to learn of what you have chosen to do.

The challenge of fasting, prayers, getting up early, eating later in the day, and reading the Qur'an should really be your focus.

I understand that you want to 'let your parents know' what you are into. This can be a learning process for them to see how you go through this process. Or they might think you are really going bonkers.

Ramadan is an opportunity for us on earth to give back to Allah what he has given to us. We rely on Allah for all things. It is up to us to empty ourselves of all self desires of foods, water, habits, etc. and rely on who gave us life to begin with.

Your parents are so very important to you. Your example of what you choose to do should show how strongly you feel about pleasing Allah/God.

Being at peace in this needs to be all you need. Is it worth a chance to have discourse in your parent's disapproval at this time? I know you want so much to tell them....it could be a good thing or a thing of conflict, when you really need quiet and focusing on Allah.

Keep in mind what you used to know...and what they understand. No one forced this on you, since only Allah can open one's eyes to this.

If it is meant to be, and Allah wills that you tell them, inshaAllah, it will happen.

I am thinking 'out loud'; there are other suggestions that could be more appropriately made by others that I would find interesting to read, and learn from.

Forgive me if this did not help.

Sallam
 

BrotherZak

Junior Member
Salam Shannon

Hmm if you are feeling uncomforable here is what i suggest you do..just before you are about to tell them, make nawafil prayer of 2 raka and ask for help and then go right ahead and spit it out...hope that helps...
 

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
:salam2:
So I said I was going to tell them today, but I ended up not telling them. :(
I don't know why it's so hard to tell them.

I'm so confused. What if I don't tell them before Ramadan and it effects my fasting?

:salam2:

You should just let me call them :p j/k I am still trying to tell my mom and it has been 2 years lol. Insha Allah I will keep you in my du'as. I was always told by my sisters expect the worst. I think both of us are on the same boat, but I do not live at home. Luckily I am at the university. Have you tried writing down why you have become a Muslim? What great things you have discovered? How you will never stop loving your parents? Just put all the positives that you have learned :) Like never ever going to drink insha Allah, no drugs, no boyfriends which = no babies or diseases...The list can go on. I am just afraid that your deen will go down :( Make sure you are strong and that your love for Allah (swt) shines throughout your speech to them :)

:wasalam:
 
Asalaamalikum sister,

I would start the convo with your parents like ....what do you think of Islam? What do you know about Islam? Muslims? That way you can get a quick vibe about how they feel and think. Then slowly you can try to answer them and clear their misconceptions, if they have any.

May Allah swt make your Ramadan come with ease and great blessings. I will make dua for you.
 

Shannonx

Junior Member
:salam2:

You should just let me call them :p j/k I am still trying to tell my mom and it has been 2 years lol. Insha Allah I will keep you in my du'as. I was always told by my sisters expect the worst. I think both of us are on the same boat, but I do not live at home. Luckily I am at the university. Have you tried writing down why you have become a Muslim? What great things you have discovered? How you will never stop loving your parents? Just put all the positives that you have learned :) Like never ever going to drink insha Allah, no drugs, no boyfriends which = no babies or diseases...The list can go on. I am just afraid that your deen will go down :( Make sure you are strong and that your love for Allah (swt) shines throughout your speech to them :)

:wasalam:

:salam2:

lol :)
It's pretty nerve wrecking. I was going to tell both of them at dinner since it's the only time we're ever together, but I just kept thinking "how am I going to bring this up, what should I say." I know what I should say, but i'm just nervous to see their reaction. Then I worry that my mom's going to tell her side of the family, my dad tell his and just create all these unwanted problems. But hopefully when I do tell them, they'll respect that I don't want the other side of my family to know.
No I haven't done that, but that sounds like a good idea. I'm thinking of doing what Bluegazer said, to tell my mom first. My mom I think will be a lot more understanding. My mom knows I wasn't the happiest person this time last year, but my mood has changed completly and it's because of Islam, so hopefully she can see that Islam has made me a lot more grateful, and happier. Even though I have my bad days, it's nothing like last year.
 
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