:D it's me again and I need help!

alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Shannonx said:
:salam2:

lol :)
It's pretty nerve wrecking. I was going to tell both of them at dinner since it's the only time we're ever together, but I just kept thinking "how am I going to bring this up, what should I say." I know what I should say, but i'm just nervous to see their reaction. Then I worry that my mom's going to tell her side of the family, my dad tell his and just create all these unwanted problems. But hopefully when I do tell them, they'll respect that I don't want the other side of my family to know.
No I haven't done that, but that sounds like a good idea. I'm thinking of doing what Bluegazer said, to tell my mom first. My mom I think will be a lot more understanding. My mom knows I wasn't the happiest person this time last year, but my mood has changed completly and it's because of Islam, so hopefully she can see that Islam has made me a lot more grateful, and happier. Even though I have my bad days, it's nothing like last year.
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Salam sister,
initially when i read your post , i thought you have told them . Then you say later...

Its a good idea...
Go for it....
May Allah make it a succesful and easy one for you ....
 
B

Bluegazer

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum sister Shannonx,


You wrote the following on post #20 you wrote the following:

It's pretty nerve wrecking. I was going to tell both of them at dinner since it's the only time we're ever together, but I just kept thinking "how am I going to bring this up, what should I say." I know what I should say, but i'm just nervous to see their reaction. Then I worry that my mom's going to tell her side of the family, my dad tell his and just create all these unwanted problems. But hopefully when I do tell them, they'll respect that I don't want the other side of my family to know.
No I haven't done that, but that sounds like a good idea. I'm thinking of doing what Bluegazer said, to tell my mom first. My mom I think will be a lot more understanding. My mom knows I wasn't the happiest person this time last year, but my mood has changed completly and it's because of Islam, so hopefully she can see that Islam has made me a lot more grateful, and happier. Even though I have my bad days, it's nothing like last year.
Click to expand...


Thank you for your kind consideration of my suggestion about talking to your mother first.


As to you saying "how am I going to bring this up, what should I say." I suggest you say something like:

"You know, I read that the the Bishops of the Catholic Church voted on a document called Nostra Aetate, which was approved and issued by Pope Paul VI in 1965.

The amazing thing about this document is that it began with the words, "The Church regards with esteem also the Moslems."

I was really surprised when I read that, then this document went on to explain that Muslims worship God Almighty and that they believe in Jesus Christ -as a prophet- and his mother the Virgin Mary."


After that, you can go on to say what Lumen Gentium and the Catechism of the Catholic Church say about Islam, how that made you investigate Islam more by reading the Qur'an.

Mention that you found a chapter in the Qur'an called Mary, and that it mentioned the story of Jesus Christ.

Mention that you found out that Muslims believe in a miracle of Jesus Christ that Christians do not believe in, and that was that he spoke eloquently while just a newborn baby.


Just in case your mother protests the misconception that "women are treated terribly in Islam", I suggest you prepare yourself for that by reading a post of mine where I compared Qur'anic and Biblical verses:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=74489&postcount=24


And just in case your mother and/or father go on about how the misconception of "bloodthirsty Muslims.....etc", I suggest you prepare yourself by reading the following posts of mine where I mentioned some Biblical verses containing things that may surprise your parents and that contain the view of a Jewish atheist who fought for -and was wounded twice- the establishment of the state of Israel:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=79502&postcount=9
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=17410&postcount=12



I hope that the above suggestions -God willing- will be an excellent way to begin telling them about you becoming a Muslim.


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum
 
ama6621

ama6621

Junior Member
Salaam sister Shannon,
All the recommendations that the brothers and sisters have given here are excellent. May Allah give you the courage to do the right thing. and the right thing is not necessarily telling your parents now if you think they might not let you fast the month of Ramadan.

I will remember you in my duas Insha Allah.
 
najbc

najbc

Junior Member
Shannonx said:
:salam2: I have a couple of questions
Alright, well Ramadan is getting close and I need some tips on fasting. This will be my first time ever fasting, and any sort of advice for a new timer will be great. I'm kind of worried, because usually when I put my cell phone's alarm clock on and I wake up early, I don't feel like getting up at all and I wouldn't feel like eating a lot, but I know i'm going to have to or else i'll be real hungry through out the day. I'm just worried I won't be motivated enough. So is there any advice any of you can give me so I will be motivated enough and advice where I can complete my 5 prayers. I'm trying to get the courage to call the masjid, but i'm still to shy to call sadly lol but i'm still ganna try.

Another thing is, before Ramadan I have to tell my parents i've accepted Islam. If I don't, then i'll most likely have to lie about what i'm doing or not participate in Ramadan at all. And I don't want neither to happen, so i'm pretty much at the point where I have to tell them. But i'm starting to get real nervous. I've had chances to tell them, but I couldn't say the words. So i'd be happy with any advice given to me.

Thank you! :)
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On this other day, in my mosque we have a brother come and tell us about Ramadan and everything about Ramadan. I found out Ramadan is or should be use make resolution for yourself through Allah and how you would or can become a better Muslim, to plan your life in Islam and the here after. I wish I could tell you about my first Ramadan or give you hints but I do not remember my first Ramadan. And did you know waking up to eat is good and was something Prophet Mohammed use to do and it is good to follow the prophet. You can complete your pray anywhere and you do not have to call any mosque, just walk in and pray and there are sisters especially in the Ramadan who are in the mosque and helping, just walk up one ask them who you can to talk, if you have any question. For motivation, what do you hope do you to accomplish in your first Ramadan. Mashallah this will be great Ramadan for you and everything with your parents will work out for you.
:tti_sister:
 
S

Shannonx

Junior Member
:salam2:
Wow, thank you all for the kind replies :ma:

Bluegazer, my dad actually is Catholic, my mom isn't. She doesn't follow a religion, but my dad and his side of the family are all religious Catholics. I never claimed to be, since I never followed religion before. I'm not saying though that the links you gave me won't be helpful, they will be especially if my dad brings up his religion, or he tells his side of the family and i'm asked a lot of questions.

I have another question about Ramadan..
Sunrise tomorrow according to islamicfinder.org is at 6:34 A.M., so right when it's 6:34 I can't eat until sunrise, right? Would it be best if I got up at 5:30 a.m., or 6:00?
 
Karima

Karima

Junior Member
Asalamualikum,

You cannot eat after sunrise. Do the Fajr, (before sunrise) prayer. Then eat and drink before the sun comes up.....

Remember, the whole day will be a challenge of wanting to do the 'normal' habits of getting a drink of water, having a snack, or lunch, etc.....

No matter how much you feel the temptation of thirst or hunger, change your thoughts to Allah, and think about those who go without water or food.

You will do fine, inshaAllah.

Sallam
 
M

Mohsin

abdu'Allah
Assalamu-alaikum

:salam2:

Sister its not allowed to eat after the time of Fajr begins, so you have to eat before it.
 
Karima

Karima

Junior Member
Asalamualikum,

Sorry, I had it backwards. I thought it was after the prayer...and before sunrise.

Thank you so much for this information.

Sallam
 
Karima

Karima

Junior Member
Asalamualikum,

Can someone explain what the purpose of breaking the fast with water or milk and a date or something, then pray, then have a meal? (Maghrib)

Sallam
 
S

Shannonx

Junior Member
IbnAlAawam said:
Salam alaykoum sister,

Once the call of Maghrib prayer starts, you break your fast with water or milk and a date or something then you pray and then you have your meal.:)

:salam2:
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:salam2:
Thank you for clearing that up for me :)
Jazakallahu Khair
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Karima said:
Asalamualikum,

Can someone explain what the purpose of breaking the fast with water or milk and a date or something, then pray, then have a meal? (Maghrib)

Sallam
Click to expand...

You cant delay your breaking of fast....
So eat a little bit, maybe 1 date and a sip of water , then you pray , then you finish up your meal

OR

Eat first all your meal then pray
 
Karima

Karima

Junior Member
Asalamualikum,

You cant delay your breaking of fast....
Click to expand...

Can you explain this? You mean it is mandatory to eat right on the button when the fast ends comes at sundown? WHY?

I sense a 'robot' type of rules that all of the fasting requires.

Forgive me for asking. I cannot help but feel this, when the more I learn the more is really surprising with all the specific rules.
 
ibn azem

ibn azem

Super Moderator
Staff member
:salam2:

Hastening to break the fast is better than delaying it​

Question:

Is there any reward for delaying breaking the fast until after praying Maghrib?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

There is no reward for delaying breaking the fast, rather it is better to hasten to break the fast as soon as the sun has set; this brings a more complete reward. ​
Al-Bukhaari (1957) and Muslim (1098) narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to break the fast.”

Abu Dawood (2353) narrated the same from Abu Hurayrah; his report includes the additional phrase, “… because the Jews and Christians delay it.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 2353.
Al-Nawawi said:

This hadeeth urges us to hasten to break the fast as soon as it is established that the sun has set. What this means is that the ummah will continue to be in a sound state and they will be fine so long as they continue to adhere to this Sunnah. If they delay it, that will be a sign that corruption has arisen among them.
With regard to the words, “… because the Jews and Christians delay it,” al-Teebi said:

This reason indicates that the basis of the true monotheistic religion is the opposite of what its enemies among the People of the Book do, and that agreeing with them leads to doom and destruction.

Muslim (1099) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was asked about a man among the companions of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood – who hastened to pray Maghrib and break the fast. She said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do.

Al-Shaafa’i said in al-Umm:
Hastening to break the fast is mustahabb. ​

Ibn Hazm said in al-Muhalla (4/380):
It is Sunnah to hasten to break the fast and to delay suhoor, i.e., when the sun disappears beneath the horizon of the fasting person and no more. ​

The scholars have mentioned a number of reasons why it is recommended to hasten to break the fast, including the following:

1-To be different from the Jews and Christians

2-To follow the Sunnah

3-So as not to make the day longer and take from the night

4-It is kinder to the fasting person and gives him more strength for worship

5-To hasten to eat that which Allaah has permitted to him, for Allaah is generous and the one who is generous likes to see people enjoying his generosity. So He likes His slaves to hasten to enjoy that which Allaah has permitted to them as soon as the sun sets.

The scholars are unanimously agreed that the time for that is when it is established that the sun has set, by seeing it with one's own eyes or by being informed of that by two witnesses of good character, or of one according to the correct opinion. This was the view of al-Haafiz. ​

See: Fath al-Baari, commentary on hadeeth no. 1957; al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 6/267.

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