o0ummhasan0o
New Member
As Salaamu Alaykum, Dearest All,
Having read our sisters on Eid and i agree with the loss that happens every day to some families in Iraq, we had a loss of our own yesterday. Except we did not have anyone kidnapped, and possibly murdered, my husbands brother was non the less a victim of troubles in Iraq.
My husbands brother, was a man in his late 40s he had been having kidney troubles for many years, it had come to the point that he needed dialysis on a regular basis, and was working his way towards a transplant in two weeks time. He had great Iman and kept strong and dignified till the end, even in his death he died well, as with most things in his life he liked perfection. He was married two years ago during Eid to a lovely Iraqi sister, she bought great joy to his life, and now to think he died just the day before his second wedding anniversary and Eid with his beloved wife, a short but loving time together.
So at this point you think sad... and say the normal things you would say when you hear someone has died.
So let me tell you how he died....
There had been no electricity in the hospital for a couple of days (now due to the fighting and bombings Iraq's infal structure is in a very weak state so everything is rationed and life is hard, it does matter if your rich or poor, the conflict does not know the difference), and he needed to have dialysis on a regular basis, so when he managed to get to the hospital he had to be given two lots of dialysis to cleanse his blood. This left him weak he (we think he should not of been allowed home) went home, he felt very ill, and fell in the bathroom, his wife rang the UK asking for help,my husbands other brother rang people in Iraq to go and help him, when my husbands cousin(who is a medical student) arrived at his house, he could see that my husbands brother was not in good shape so got him in the car quickly and started out for the hospital.
The journey was slow, and frustrating because of all the road blocks and checks. My husbands brother was fading fast, and his wife was crying and begging him not to leave her. To make it all much harder our cousins car broke down, so in the car is a dying man and distraught wife, and a medical student trying to keep his head, our cousin got his head into the professional manner of his training and flagged down a passing police car, they stopped and our cousin explained what was happening, so they all moved to the police car.
They sped along and quickly through the road block towards the hospital. Our brother was dying with his wife one side of him, and our cousin sitting on the other side. Our brother was in a peaceful state, and not conscious all of the time we think he was not in any pain. Our cousin saw he was going, so pinched him to get him to get him to wake up....
Our cousin said to our brother " I think you are leaving us soon say your shahada"
Our Brother said " Lā ilaha illa Llāh muhammedun rasulu-llah "
He turned to his wife, took her hand kissed it told her he loved her...
Then he died... ila Rahmatu llah
So they arrived at the hospital, not to save his life but to record his death. As you can imagine it was devastating to say the least, his wife was scared and hysterical by now she would not let them take her beloved husband away from her, eventually they moved him to the morgue.
A large gathering of family had gathered at the family home, so his wife returned to the house, and at least 15 of his male cousins came to the hospital to take our beloved brother to the cemetery to be washed and buried. After they had done the salah and burial. They all returned to the house were all the women had already gathered.
Out of his brothers, four were out of the country all feeling like they could be on the moon because they are all so far away, helpless to do anything except be on the other end of the phone giving messages of comfort to his wife and each other.... to even get into Iraq is hard... they would GO in the blinking of an eye, but the time of grief passes so quick 3 days, not enough time to get there. So they cope and handle the phone calls saying thank you to everyone who is their, in their place, the guilt you see in my husbands face is breath taking, but he knows he is not alone and has children and a wife of his own... to hold and care for. Iraq is dangerous for people who normally live their, and even more so for him its not a risk he can take, but i think he is tempted.
So today is Eid, in our house Eid is not around... we are trying for the kids..
I see my husband he is a strong man, who keeps his pride... when he thinks i am not looking wipe a tear from his eye... as he takes the phone calls...
As our children run around.... happy with some new gifts... not grasping the environment... thank god for that....
So at this point 'Happy Eid'
Please remember our brother and his wife, in your dua'a insha'Allah....
You cannot fight fate.....
I cried as i wrote this, and now i am crying again as i re-read it....
Having read our sisters on Eid and i agree with the loss that happens every day to some families in Iraq, we had a loss of our own yesterday. Except we did not have anyone kidnapped, and possibly murdered, my husbands brother was non the less a victim of troubles in Iraq.
My husbands brother, was a man in his late 40s he had been having kidney troubles for many years, it had come to the point that he needed dialysis on a regular basis, and was working his way towards a transplant in two weeks time. He had great Iman and kept strong and dignified till the end, even in his death he died well, as with most things in his life he liked perfection. He was married two years ago during Eid to a lovely Iraqi sister, she bought great joy to his life, and now to think he died just the day before his second wedding anniversary and Eid with his beloved wife, a short but loving time together.
So at this point you think sad... and say the normal things you would say when you hear someone has died.
So let me tell you how he died....
There had been no electricity in the hospital for a couple of days (now due to the fighting and bombings Iraq's infal structure is in a very weak state so everything is rationed and life is hard, it does matter if your rich or poor, the conflict does not know the difference), and he needed to have dialysis on a regular basis, so when he managed to get to the hospital he had to be given two lots of dialysis to cleanse his blood. This left him weak he (we think he should not of been allowed home) went home, he felt very ill, and fell in the bathroom, his wife rang the UK asking for help,my husbands other brother rang people in Iraq to go and help him, when my husbands cousin(who is a medical student) arrived at his house, he could see that my husbands brother was not in good shape so got him in the car quickly and started out for the hospital.
The journey was slow, and frustrating because of all the road blocks and checks. My husbands brother was fading fast, and his wife was crying and begging him not to leave her. To make it all much harder our cousins car broke down, so in the car is a dying man and distraught wife, and a medical student trying to keep his head, our cousin got his head into the professional manner of his training and flagged down a passing police car, they stopped and our cousin explained what was happening, so they all moved to the police car.
They sped along and quickly through the road block towards the hospital. Our brother was dying with his wife one side of him, and our cousin sitting on the other side. Our brother was in a peaceful state, and not conscious all of the time we think he was not in any pain. Our cousin saw he was going, so pinched him to get him to get him to wake up....
Our cousin said to our brother " I think you are leaving us soon say your shahada"
Our Brother said " Lā ilaha illa Llāh muhammedun rasulu-llah "
He turned to his wife, took her hand kissed it told her he loved her...
Then he died... ila Rahmatu llah
So they arrived at the hospital, not to save his life but to record his death. As you can imagine it was devastating to say the least, his wife was scared and hysterical by now she would not let them take her beloved husband away from her, eventually they moved him to the morgue.
A large gathering of family had gathered at the family home, so his wife returned to the house, and at least 15 of his male cousins came to the hospital to take our beloved brother to the cemetery to be washed and buried. After they had done the salah and burial. They all returned to the house were all the women had already gathered.
Out of his brothers, four were out of the country all feeling like they could be on the moon because they are all so far away, helpless to do anything except be on the other end of the phone giving messages of comfort to his wife and each other.... to even get into Iraq is hard... they would GO in the blinking of an eye, but the time of grief passes so quick 3 days, not enough time to get there. So they cope and handle the phone calls saying thank you to everyone who is their, in their place, the guilt you see in my husbands face is breath taking, but he knows he is not alone and has children and a wife of his own... to hold and care for. Iraq is dangerous for people who normally live their, and even more so for him its not a risk he can take, but i think he is tempted.
So today is Eid, in our house Eid is not around... we are trying for the kids..
I see my husband he is a strong man, who keeps his pride... when he thinks i am not looking wipe a tear from his eye... as he takes the phone calls...
As our children run around.... happy with some new gifts... not grasping the environment... thank god for that....
So at this point 'Happy Eid'
Please remember our brother and his wife, in your dua'a insha'Allah....
You cannot fight fate.....
I cried as i wrote this, and now i am crying again as i re-read it....
