Desparately Seeking Advice

[akehasakina]

Asalaamalaikum,

I am having a bit of a problem. I recently got married to a new revert brother in December 2007. I met him online on a muslim website. He moved to come back home and be with his family and marry me. Everything was good at first but, about two weeks ago he stopped making salat. I started noticing that he would not get up for Fajr prayer. And when I asked him about it he stated that he needed to look further into the religion and that he is going to stop practicing until he researches more. Coming from a Christian background he said that he cannot feel God. And that when he makes salat he does not feel Him. He also said that he read in the Quran that it says "Slay". And other things in the Quran that he didn't agree with. And that the Quran does not deal the current issues going on in the world today. And that this religion was too strict and that "he would rather not have a manual telling him how to live his life". I have spoken to my Imam and my Masjid where we got married and he offered to have a scholar talk to him. My husband initially opposed it. But, I spoke to him recently and he said he would not mind speaking to him that he had alot of questions. Before we got married he loved the Quran and fasted during the month of Ramadan before we got married and moved back home. Insha-Allah my husband will come around and may it back to the straight path. Because we were sitting at a restaurant yesterday and he wanted to order wine. He also has benn buying several books on "Catholicism for Dummies, Judaism for Dummies, The Torah for Dummies,The Bible for Dummies, Christianity for Dummies, and The Everything Judaism Book. He seems to be spinning his wheels. However, he still reads the books on Al-Islam (ie. Know Your Islam, Teach Yourself Islam, and Islam for Beginners) which I bought him when we got married and he moved in with me. We are going to go to a regular marriage counselor to see if we can work out our differences because I am pregnant and I don't want our child to be confused. Insha-Allah if you have any advice on this please help and make dua for me. Salaamaikum

 

[Mumin01]

I will keep you both in my prayers maybe your husband just has some more questions that havent been answered that are confusing him, just stick to it, and keep praying to Allah SWT for guidance



"By the 'Asr,
Indeed all of mankind is in a state of loss,
Except those who have eemaan,
Conduct righteous actions,
Call each other to the Truth,
And call each other to having patience." ( Quran 103)

 

[Al-Salam]

Salam sister

I have read what you've written, and I hope nothing but the best for you, your husband and your family. I hoop that you're husband will get to his faith again. talk to him, answer his questions if you can, courrage him to go and talk with the imam for instance. in the end, remember that Allah will do nothing but the best for each and single one of us..

you and your family are in my prayers.

god bless us all...

 

[a_brother]

Asalamo alaikom sister

May Allah guide your husband...
best thing is to listen to his questions and find answers... learn as much about islam and then learn about the religion that he tries to learn from a muslim perspective, and debate with him in a good manner... if you don't think you can do that, then direct him towards islamic books... If he loves you, then use that to soften his heart towards islam... At the end, Allah Guides whom ever he wants... May Allah Guide your husband to the right path... ameen

here are some nice islamic ebooks
http://www.kalamullah.com/books.html

this one is another nice website...
http://www.islamtomorrow.com/

check this one .... comparative religion
http://www.missionislam.com/comprel/index.htm

:salam2:

 

[Saidsaad]

:salam2: selam,
I'll keep you both in my :tti_sisterrayes. I'm a revert ( over 2 years now). Islam is the perfected religion of allah,of which christianity & jewdism came before it. The 3 are all linked together by the messengers (peace be on them ) of allah who's belief is in one god. I think your husband maybe naturally serching for more knowlege about the roots of Islam and the relationship of other religions. Islam has given me peace and respect for all brothers and sisters. salaam to you both.

 

[Ahd_786]

Akehasakena, Assalam-o-alikum.


May Allah protect you and save you from everthing bad happening.
I just read about your situation, realy feeling very sad. praying for you from heart.
It is Allah who guides everbody to Islam first and then Imaan. If your husband accepted islam with true intention and belief in Allah, then he should not do what he is doing at the moment. But if he just tried to enter Islam for the sake of TESTING. then I think , he was not muslim by heart. and Allah only guides those who ,Allah knows are ture believers.

There is no place for those who enter Islam for just trial. Allah knows better.
Just pray for him. Try to speek to him. Definately get involved some good scholor. search web for good scholors, get their contact details . ring them . tell them your situation. get your husband to Reverted learned scholors.
try to contact Yousuf Estes.web link is www.yousufestes.com. Email is[email protected]).

May Allah help you and protect you and if your husband has good intentions(Allah knows) then I wish he be a firm believer and on right path.
if he chooses the other way unfortunately, then Allah never shows right path to disobidient.

May Allah Help you ,:tti_sister:ameen.
JazakAllah

 

[muslimahlibra]

:tti_sister: i feel for you sister and your husband pray for your husband and that he finds all his answers

 

[Optimist]

wa alaikoom assalam sister

You have my sympathy. It is a tough situation. I will pray for you & your husband. I hope it will be a transient period after which he will become even more strong in his faith.

Keep us updated

 

[cedric098]

May Allah show your husband the right path!!! It may be a common problem I suppose for reverts to get struck by the religion at first and then lose the enthusiasm and get confused as they get deeper in it! We can never know how he will end up just like we can never know how we ,ourselves, will end up! let's pray he gets back to taqwaa...

What you can do about it may be trying to keep his interest high in Islam. The perception of "Allah" is very important ... He needs to build up the bricks of tavheed at first, the practice will follow i guess!

Allah tests us in really strange ways sister and this seems to be the test you get! May Allah be with you all the time!

 

[akehasakina]

ASA,

I want to thank you all for your duas. Alhumdu-Allah my husband has returned to Al-Islam yesterday. He has started making his salat prayers again. It goes to show you that Allah is in charge and He can only return you the right path. Again, thank you for your prayers and support. Asalaamaikum

 

[muslimahsara]

:salam2:

:ma: sister when I read your mesg, I got tears coming down and I felt so sory for you and your husband.
But everything comes from ALLAH and we must thank him all day long
I keep you in my prayers inchallah sister:tti_sister:

 

[A Kashmiri]

Sister, my heart was pounding like anything when i was reading your post about help.... However now i am happy as i have come to know that he has started being normal.

However i would like to advice, that you start having interaction with muslim families so that he can discuss things during meetings with them. It is important that you support him in this process of learning, discuss islam with him, ask him to come to this website where he can discuss things etc.

Rest I pray to Allah to help all sisters and brothers who are having issues and problems in their lives..

:lol:

 

[muslimahsara]

However i would like to advice, that you start having interaction with muslim families so that he can discuss things during meetings with them. It is important that you support him in this process of learning, discuss islam with him, ask him to come to this website where he can discuss things etc.

What a good advice brother !!!!

 

[shari]

Dear Sister

:salam2:

Congrats to you and your Husband and my prayers will be with you

 

[Almeftah]

السلام عليكم

Your husband is probably in Fitnah, give him a week, stay by his side and dont push him.. try to always do your prayers infrint of him, fill your house with islamic environment and keep quran recording playing most of the time, and inshallah he'll come back to his senses.. if not, start talking to him, and show him that you care about him and fear that if he stays away from Salah he'll get lost in this life and lose alot, be kind to him and talk nice to him with love.. everything will be ok Ishallah..

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

If it is meant to be, it will be Insha Allah

Dear Sister,

I am also a revert to Islam although from 17 years now. We all experience times of doubt in our lives. The beauty of Islam is it encourages us to seek knowledge, it is our duty as Muslims. I think, Insha Allah, no matter how much your husband reads up on other religions, if his heart is open, he will find that Islam is the true way. Another response suggested looking at videos or audio from Yousef Estes, I couldn't agree more! He is excellent at explaining things. Also, now passed on but another scholar who is very good for reverts to listen to is Mohammed Deedat (spelling?) who was from South Africa. I just saw a dvd of him sitting down with some American soldiers in the 90s and Masha Allah, he was a man of great logic, like Brother Estes. Also, check out Yousef Islam's website, MountainofLight, I ordered a book of beautiful hadith from there. Aside from that, I also enjoy reading the opinions of Faisal Abdu Rauf, an Imam from a mosque in NYC, who has a very gentle but logical way of explaining things.

Do not despair, everything has a way of working its way out for the best, Alhamdulillah. I will remember you and your family in my du'aaa.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

Something that really might help make you fel better:

[yt]o7d7matUOqU[/yt]

 

[muslim-girl]

asc sister

asc sister

Im sorry to hear that. but may Allah swt guide ur husbane and us all as well . amiiin .. be patiene and pray for him. he will be in my prayer inshaALlah . dont worry . Allah test those he love most, so inshaALlah be patiene ukhtii

 

[Jessiely]

Dear Sister, before I was a Christian I just convert to Islam 2 weeks ago. I watch alot of Yousef Ester. His teaching is very clear and simple. That make me choose to convert to Islam. Is important each one of us to undertand God will.

Seeking Allah you will find the different levels what God want us to do.
We need to be humble,patients, self control and to change our old self to new self. Then to allow God to tranforming us the right path. I understand your husband said he don't feel God inside him. That maybe his emotion and character. We need to aim our thought and eyes the right things.
Show him your love and guide him with your gentleness. Be happy and peace at home remind him the good things and laugh together and have different activity in the mosque where you live. Make new friends for who love Allah or go away for weekend to fresh.
Perharps you can buy each other a book call ( Winning the Hear of your wife Or Husband)
Allah will guide both of you, He never forsake us.
I'll pray that Allah will guide both of you to the happiness,Inshallah!