Did my mother curse me

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by oumou, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. oumou
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    oumou New Member

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    Asalamualaikum...I have a question regarding my mother and if she has cursed me years back. when i was around 11 or 12 years my mother got mad at me for disturbing one of my sisters just things that children my age would do. my mother started telling me that she would never love me like she loves my sisters and brother and that if i think that she would love me more them then i am dreaming. she continued to tell me about how much of a bad luck i was to her life because she and my dad divorced 4 months before i was born. she even told me how she had sex with my dad and conceived me, mind you she said all of this to me while my siblings listened. she said all these mean things to me in one night only because she was mad that i was misbehaving with my elder sister. its was like she held that in her heart all those years just to pour it on me that faithful night.why on earth would a mother blame her child for her divorce when the child wasn't even born at that time.so did my own mother curse me by telling me the above,. i am a young Muslim girl i am now 23 years thank God i try my best with my religion i am not married yet but i never let men play with me thanks to my believes. i have even had dreams about the prophet (PBUH) Alhamdulillah. Even though i love my mom to death i keep wondering does she deserve the love i show her I think about her a lot because i traveled to another country for education. Even though i work very hard in life and i make dua to Allah a lot i still find it very hard in life to be successful. so has my mother cursed me please advise me please pray for me because the things my own mother told me still ring in my head.Thank you in advance
  2. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    First..welcome to TTI.

    Now...you have held all that hurt and anger for all those years..let it go..

    No your mother did not curse you.

    Lets slow down a wee bit...

    Your father left a pregnant woman with children. Your father left your mother when she needed him the most. She was very fragile. I am not going to comment on why or if he is mean evil or vile..Let us focus on your mother.

    Under very difficult circumstances your mother carried you to term and raised you.

    One night in a fit on anger she released words..that she had no understanding would hurt you so much..and she did not mean one word of that. How she must wish she could take that back.

    She carried you to term...there are women under the same circumstances who would not carry a fetus to term. She did not think of herself..she thought about you.

    What makes you think she holds you responsible for the divorce...that does not make sense. The father left before you were born. He left her, while she was pregnant.

    You have to forgive her. You have to forgive her. She let out words that were not meant to be heard.

    Ask your father for the truth if he is in the picture. Ask why he left. You have a right to know.

    Now..you are 23 years old..this makes you a woman. You can not live your life as a 12 year old hurting girl...forgive the words of your mother and move on.

    And, yes, of course you a chaste young woman.
  3. ahmed_indian
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    ahmed_indian to Allah we belong

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    :wasalam:

    from what you have mentioned, it doesnt show that she cursed you. yes, she was angry with you and said hurtful things. she told things for which you was not responsible, but she didnt curse you by the words she used.

    this life is a life of tests and trials and toils. if you'll see people around you and below you...you'll see that yes....this life is hardly a bed of roses.

    for every problem and anxiety and sadness, Allah makes some of your sins to be washed away...

    and dont forget that the life is the next life in indeed....when fortunate ones will be eating and drinking and enjoying the pleasures of Jannah and having fun with their friends and getting what all they desire.

    so dont worry sister... may Allah bless you.
  4. arzafar
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    arzafar Junior Member

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    well i actually think your mother should be seeing a psychiatrist.
  5. ckford
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    ckford New Member

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    I think you should listen to the advices which you already got in this thread. Your love to your mother is wonderful and something precious, I hope you will never lose this feeling, no matter how she has hurt you. She is your mother and this will never change! But you also have to live on your own. You are very strong!
  6. oumou
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    oumou New Member

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    Thank you all

    Thank you all for your advice and prayers, it means a lot to me that you all took some time to advice me on my situation I appreciate that a lot. May the almighty Allah forgive us all and send blessings upon us in this life and in the hereafter Amin.

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