lilmuslimah
Junior Member
Salam everyone,
please advise, i feel i do not understand how to make dua having full hope of allah fufilling my dua's and at the same time getting ready to not have my dua fulfiled ( at least not in this life) hoping for something from allah ( like your suppossed to) is a great height to fall from.
I made dua day and night for something for 5 exhausting years of my youth i made dua so much my eyes were constantly swollen from crying to allah without exgageration, i made istikarah a few times to ask allah if i should continue making dua for what i wanted or to give up. With each istikarah i believe it was obvious that i was directed to continue in my dua's for what i was asking.
I 'd would have good dreams of what i desired materialising into my life and this gave me strength, i thanked allah for what i had seen.
Now what i wanted has changed (the criumstances) i no longer want what i wanted before because of events that have occured.in fact its everything i would hate, i feel betrayed as i would always tell myself when feeling down that allah would not let me down, that allah had guided me through istikarah to have patience, i feel i have to start at square one again.
I fear maybe i am stupid and don't understand, i feel i don't trust my own thought and feelings. I feel hurt i know its bad but by allah for being led to hope and believe in something that would ultimately break my heart, now i have to deal with the hurt of not having what i wanted and also the hurt i feel in regards to unfullfilled hope/trust in allah and confusion in my istikarah.
other than this i have made dua constantly for plenty i changed my life and submitted the best i can to worship of allah, i loved allah so much although i had nothing. I feel my hands have been left empty and that my human needs haven't been fufilled.
i feel scared to make dua for things in case i draw to much attention to my wants/needs that at the least won't be fullfilled in this lifetime. I feel like making dua is very hard if its for something that pains you to talk about, its like rubbing salt in a wound.
i understand that this life is a test testing your strength etc but surely its only fair you understand the test?? also i know its said allah doesn't take something away from you except to give u something better but why be led to believe that something will be good for you? and then be crushed?. i have tried my best to be patient even through deaths of my most loved ones even in the uttermost haertbreak i have tried to think best of allah, but my situation has not improved in the slightest, i don't understand that someone can live at allah's door and for it to remain so firmly shut. all advise you hear is make dua make dua, i tried every dua from the sunnah also i mean are some people just destined for unhappiness?
I don't want to talk about all the problems/issues and pains in my life but they are grave, i don't know what to do anymore, i feel i pray robotically the relationship between me and allah has gone, i look to the sunnah and read about prophet ayub who waited 7years for his dua to be fullfield but i think may allah forgive me at least he understood that his pain was a test i don't know whats going on????? also 7years isn't long off what i have waited and i'm no prophet.
i would be grateful for any advice
please advise, i feel i do not understand how to make dua having full hope of allah fufilling my dua's and at the same time getting ready to not have my dua fulfiled ( at least not in this life) hoping for something from allah ( like your suppossed to) is a great height to fall from.
I made dua day and night for something for 5 exhausting years of my youth i made dua so much my eyes were constantly swollen from crying to allah without exgageration, i made istikarah a few times to ask allah if i should continue making dua for what i wanted or to give up. With each istikarah i believe it was obvious that i was directed to continue in my dua's for what i was asking.
I 'd would have good dreams of what i desired materialising into my life and this gave me strength, i thanked allah for what i had seen.
Now what i wanted has changed (the criumstances) i no longer want what i wanted before because of events that have occured.in fact its everything i would hate, i feel betrayed as i would always tell myself when feeling down that allah would not let me down, that allah had guided me through istikarah to have patience, i feel i have to start at square one again.
I fear maybe i am stupid and don't understand, i feel i don't trust my own thought and feelings. I feel hurt i know its bad but by allah for being led to hope and believe in something that would ultimately break my heart, now i have to deal with the hurt of not having what i wanted and also the hurt i feel in regards to unfullfilled hope/trust in allah and confusion in my istikarah.
other than this i have made dua constantly for plenty i changed my life and submitted the best i can to worship of allah, i loved allah so much although i had nothing. I feel my hands have been left empty and that my human needs haven't been fufilled.
i feel scared to make dua for things in case i draw to much attention to my wants/needs that at the least won't be fullfilled in this lifetime. I feel like making dua is very hard if its for something that pains you to talk about, its like rubbing salt in a wound.
i understand that this life is a test testing your strength etc but surely its only fair you understand the test?? also i know its said allah doesn't take something away from you except to give u something better but why be led to believe that something will be good for you? and then be crushed?. i have tried my best to be patient even through deaths of my most loved ones even in the uttermost haertbreak i have tried to think best of allah, but my situation has not improved in the slightest, i don't understand that someone can live at allah's door and for it to remain so firmly shut. all advise you hear is make dua make dua, i tried every dua from the sunnah also i mean are some people just destined for unhappiness?
I don't want to talk about all the problems/issues and pains in my life but they are grave, i don't know what to do anymore, i feel i pray robotically the relationship between me and allah has gone, i look to the sunnah and read about prophet ayub who waited 7years for his dua to be fullfield but i think may allah forgive me at least he understood that his pain was a test i don't know whats going on????? also 7years isn't long off what i have waited and i'm no prophet.
i would be grateful for any advice