Problem Dua?

lilmuslimah

Junior Member
Salam everyone,

please advise, i feel i do not understand how to make dua having full hope of allah fufilling my dua's and at the same time getting ready to not have my dua fulfiled ( at least not in this life) hoping for something from allah ( like your suppossed to) is a great height to fall from.
I made dua day and night for something for 5 exhausting years of my youth i made dua so much my eyes were constantly swollen from crying to allah without exgageration, i made istikarah a few times to ask allah if i should continue making dua for what i wanted or to give up. With each istikarah i believe it was obvious that i was directed to continue in my dua's for what i was asking.
I 'd would have good dreams of what i desired materialising into my life and this gave me strength, i thanked allah for what i had seen.
Now what i wanted has changed (the criumstances) i no longer want what i wanted before because of events that have occured.in fact its everything i would hate, i feel betrayed as i would always tell myself when feeling down that allah would not let me down, that allah had guided me through istikarah to have patience, i feel i have to start at square one again.
I fear maybe i am stupid and don't understand, i feel i don't trust my own thought and feelings. I feel hurt i know its bad but by allah for being led to hope and believe in something that would ultimately break my heart, now i have to deal with the hurt of not having what i wanted and also the hurt i feel in regards to unfullfilled hope/trust in allah and confusion in my istikarah.
other than this i have made dua constantly for plenty i changed my life and submitted the best i can to worship of allah, i loved allah so much although i had nothing. I feel my hands have been left empty and that my human needs haven't been fufilled.
i feel scared to make dua for things in case i draw to much attention to my wants/needs that at the least won't be fullfilled in this lifetime. I feel like making dua is very hard if its for something that pains you to talk about, its like rubbing salt in a wound.
i understand that this life is a test testing your strength etc but surely its only fair you understand the test?? also i know its said allah doesn't take something away from you except to give u something better but why be led to believe that something will be good for you? and then be crushed?. i have tried my best to be patient even through deaths of my most loved ones even in the uttermost haertbreak i have tried to think best of allah, but my situation has not improved in the slightest, i don't understand that someone can live at allah's door and for it to remain so firmly shut. all advise you hear is make dua make dua, i tried every dua from the sunnah also i mean are some people just destined for unhappiness?
I don't want to talk about all the problems/issues and pains in my life but they are grave, i don't know what to do anymore, i feel i pray robotically the relationship between me and allah has gone, i look to the sunnah and read about prophet ayub who waited 7years for his dua to be fullfield but i think may allah forgive me at least he understood that his pain was a test i don't know whats going on????? also 7years isn't long off what i have waited and i'm no prophet.

i would be grateful for any advice

 

Mahzala

فَتَبَارَكَ اللَّهُ أَحْسَنُ الْخَالِقِينَ
Wa 'alaykum salaam,

I'd love to write pages on end, but instead, I'll give it to you at point basic. So why do we ask why Allah is not responding?

1) Lack of conviction in our duas. Are we, with full tawakkal in Him, invoking, or do we, to some degree have doubts? Allah is to you as you believe Him to be.

2) Lack of obedience to His commands. Allah responds to the caller, but asks that in return, we too respond, by obeying Him and His orders.

3) Don't give up hope. Keep asking, it may be that just as we are about to give up hope, our prayers are on the verge of beng responded to. Hope is paramount.

4) Allah likes to delay, He likes to hear His name on His worshippers tongue, in order to increase their ranks in the hereafter. Delay also comes from love, not betrayal.

5) Be consistent in your duas. Consistency increases certainty and desire and attachment, and these are all things we should strive for in our relationship with Him.

6) He knows what is good for you and what is not. Ask in manner that befits our weak souls. We're asking the Creator of the heavens and earth, and all that is in between. Does it befit his Majesty that we demand things that we have no knowledge of?

Again, I have no hesitance in expanding on those, but for now, have a think :)
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Sister,
Read some of the posts on this forum, including mine.
5 years is a long time to wait for your dua to be answered, but it is a drop in the bucket. I myself have prayed for over 15 years.
yes, sometimes you make dua at all hours of the night, pray tahajjud, pray istikhara, increase your zakat, pray while travelling, read sura Yaseen, make istighfar, do voluntary fasts,etc, FOR YEARS, and the doors close and close, and people keep oppressing you and keep hurting you.

You are right -- it is a very painful process, and sometimes your mind wonders if Allah has forgotten about you. Everyone goes through this in some form. For some people, it is a temporary chapter in their lives; for others like yourself, it is a few years; for some like myself, it is my entire life.

And yes, everyone says "just keep making dua". But in the end, you will receive what is destined for you.

Imagine how wonderful the world would be if we got what we desired. But that is not how the world works.

Take it from someone who has been very, very hurt by other people -- family members included -- and who has prayed for over 15 years for doors and opportunities to open so that my life can change: Allah is not our butler -- He does not do what we say and want. He is not our servant - we are His servants. There is a destiny written for you, and it doesn't matter what you pray for -- that destiny will unfold in the manner that has been prescribed. Usually, your dua's are saved for the Hereafter.
 

faaraa

Nothing but Muslimah
I request you to watch this lecture Insha Allah for sure, this will answer all your doubts and give you hope Insha Allah
 

lightofnur

Junior Member
Salam everyone,
please advise, i feel i do not understand how to make dua having full hope of allah fufilling my dua's and at the same time getting ready to not have my dua fulfiled ( at least not in this life) hoping for something from allah ( like your suppossed to) is a great height to fall from.
I made dua day and night for something for 5 exhausting years of my youth i made dua so much my eyes were constantly swollen from crying to allah without exgageration, i made istikarah a few times to ask allah if i should continue making dua for what i wanted or to give up. With each istikarah i believe it was obvious that i was directed to continue in my dua's for what i was asking.
I 'd would have good dreams of what i desired materialising into my life and this gave me strength, i thanked allah for what i had seen.
Now what i wanted has changed (the criumstances) i no longer want what i wanted before because of events that have occured.in fact its everything i would hate, i feel betrayed as i would always tell myself when feeling down that allah would not let me down, that allah had guided me through istikarah to have patience, i feel i have to start at square one again.
I fear maybe i am stupid and don't understand, i feel i don't trust my own thought and feelings. I feel hurt i know its bad but by allah for being led to hope and believe in something that would ultimately break my heart, now i have to deal with the hurt of not having what i wanted and also the hurt i feel in regards to unfullfilled hope/trust in allah and confusion in my istikarah.
other than this i have made dua constantly for plenty i changed my life and submitted the best i can to worship of allah, i loved allah so much although i had nothing. I feel my hands have been left empty and that my human needs haven't been fufilled.
i feel scared to make dua for things in case i draw to much attention to my wants/needs that at the least won't be fullfilled in this lifetime. I feel like making dua is very hard if its for something that pains you to talk about, its like rubbing salt in a wound.
i understand that this life is a test testing your strength etc but surely its only fair you understand the test?? also i know its said allah doesn't take something away from you except to give u something better but why be led to believe that something will be good for you? and then be crushed?. i have tried my best to be patient even through deaths of my most loved ones even in the uttermost haertbreak i have tried to think best of allah, but my situation has not improved in the slightest, i don't understand that someone can live at allah's door and for it to remain so firmly shut. all advise you hear is make dua make dua, i tried every dua from the sunnah also i mean are some people just destined for unhappiness?
I don't want to talk about all the problems/issues and pains in my life but they are grave, i don't know what to do anymore, i feel i pray robotically the relationship between me and allah has gone, i look to the sunnah and read about prophet ayub who waited 7years for his dua to be fullfield but i think may allah forgive me at least he understood that his pain was a test i don't know whats going on????? also 7years isn't long off what i have waited and i'm no prophet.

i would be grateful for any advice

Wa'alaikumussalam. Sis, I'm someone who actually loves to go into detail when I help someone because I honestly know how it feels. Really, really. I can't convince anyone, including you, because you'd have to be in my shoes as well as I'd have to be in yours to fully understand. I'm just going to embed a video, and I really hope it helps, even if it's only 0.1%. Just listen to it through, and if doesn't help, tell us or anyone else who replies here.

 
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