I hope the following article should be of help
Verily, All praises are due to Allah, I offer praise to my Sustainer, and such gratitude which is worthy only of His Supreme Being and magnificent sovereignty. I bear witness that there is no God except Allah, He is alone, one and only, and has no partner and that He is the master of the Day of Judgment.
Whomever Allah has guided none can misguide. And whomever Allah has misguided none can guide.
I bear witness that none has the right to be worshiped except Allah alone, and I bear witness that the Prophet Muhammed, is his last and final messenger. All praises are due to Allah who has sent the Prophet Muhammed as a mercy, guidance, teacher, and the best example for mankind to follow. Verily, anyone who turns away from the guidance of the Prophet Muhammed has indeed gone far away from the straight path. Anyone who tries to select guidance other than that of the Prophet Muhammed has indeed gone astray. Anyone who tries to add, whether his intention is sincere or not, has indeed gone astray.
As we are warned by our Beloved Prophet, "Whoever does something which does not belong to our affair will have it rejected."
O Muslims! fear Allah! fear Allah as He ought to be feared. Hold fast to the strong rope of Islam. O slaves of Allah! Without doubt, Allah greatest blessing upon man, is His true Deen. Through which, Allah brings life to the dead hearts, bestows the light of Imaan to those who are astray and spiritually blind.
As Allah has told us in the Quran:
And whosoever obeys Allâh and His Messenger (SAW), fears Allâh, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones. (Surah Nur, Ayah 52)
Verily, we must always remember that it is the path of Allah’s Quran, and His Messenger’s Sunnah that we will attain correct guidance. As our Beloved Prophet has told us:
The Prophet said: I have left among you something; if you hold them firmly, you will never go astray. They are the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger.
We must remember, that it is essential for us to always fulfill the responsibilities of our family members. Whether it may be parents towards children, brother or sister, wife or husband.
As our Beloved Prophet has reminded us: "He who desires ample provisions and his life be prolonged, should maintain good ties with his blood relations". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
To further continue today on the topic of family values, I would like to speak about the issue of Marriage.
Allah states in the Holy Quran, Surah Nisa, Chapter 3:
O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allâh through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)[]. Surely, Allâh is Ever an All¬Watcher over you.
Verily it is Allah who is our creator, and it is Allah who has created us with many emotions and feelings. We must fear Allah and remember that if these feelings are misused, then it will take us as individuals towards a highly major sin.
As our Beloved Prophet has told us in a hadeeth: “Whoever can guarantee what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him the Garden."
It is our Beloved Prophet who guarantees us that if we control what is in between our jaws and legs, then we are guaranteed the paradise by the Prophet.
Whoever is single, regardless of gender, ignores the essential duty of marriage with excuses such as it is to early, they are not ready, or they are financially incapable.
Shaitân (Satan) threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahshâ (evil deeds, illegal sexual intercourse, sins etc.); whereas Allâh promises you Forgiveness from Himself and Bounty, and Allâh is All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Knower. (2:268)
Verily, Allah has created mankind with feelings and emotions which are acquired at the age of maturity. Every boy or girl suffers internally, however they do not marry because of their shyness, their ego, or their fear of society.
Due to this internal suffering, many end up in disastrous consequences such as drugs and alcohol. Due to their weak foundations in the deen, they attempt to attract the opposite sex by engaging in crimes. They become hopeless, and end up trying to seek a partner in places of corruption that only destroy an individual’s moral, and society at large, including the night clubs, free mixing at gyms, or dating someone in the high-schools.
The requirement of marriage is an essential duty. As we are told in a hadeeth:
The ignorance of marriage is very widespread, and this essential duty is treated as a third priority. We give our education and finance priority over this essential duty of marriage. Normally, due to our ignorance in our religion, the girl reaches the age of 23 and above without marriage. She cannot find a husband, because the boy would complain, that she is to old for him.
The girl, due to ignorance, rejects the boy because he is not financially secure; however she wants someone in the same age group, who is only a year or two years older than her. Normally however, someone normally finds a secure job at the age of 35.
Another reason for our destruction is our cultures, which has customs contradictory to the religion of Allah. Cultures require the girl’s parents to be close to bankruptcy at the time of her marriage.
Due to our ignorance, we try and ensure that the marriage performed is not below any of the latest movies, which teach us how to live in contradiction to the way of Allah and His Prophet.
The most essential requirement of an individual, after food and clothing, is to have a partner in our lives. As our beloved Prophet has told us in Sahih Muslim: “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.”
The topic that will be delivered next Sunday, inshallah, in our program Focusislam.com, will teach us the correct criteria in selecting a husband or wife.
Before the nikkah, what is required from the groom to give to the bride is a Mahr, Bridal Dowry.
The requirement of marriage is that nikkah should be performed in the masjid. In accordance to the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet, the walimah should be performed, which is the feast after the marriage.
We must remember that our marriages should not be performed to only please the people, and worry about what they will think. Our marriage, however, should be performed in order to please Allah. Because, marriage itself is an act of ibadah to Allah. So we must ask how can we perform an act of ibadah to Allah, while it is being disobedience to Allah?
Due to our ignorance and disobedience to Allah and his Messenger, the parents suffer financially, and the children suffer because their marriage is delayed.
We must remember, that if essential requirement is denied, then the children will be involved in Zina, the greatest sin.
Our Beloved Prophet has reminded our Youth: “O Young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power.”
The corruptions which can be seen today on TV, magazines, newspapers, internet, or any other forms of media, it is increasingly becoming difficult for an individual to pass his life without committing sins. We must remember, that it is essential for us to look after our duty of marriage as an act of obedience to Allah and his Prophet, instead of worrying about aspects which are secondary including education, status, and wealth.
Some misguided individuals, present a baseless argument, that by looking at these prohibited media, they are not committing a sin. However, how can we make such a baseless claim? The one who enjoys prohibited pictures or movies of the opposite sex, is in fact sharing the sin with them. This is in fact the beginning of adultery, which will lead us to a life similar to that of an animal.
We must remember that a cancer only starts from a single cell which eventually spreads throughout the entire body.
Our beloved Prophet has reminded us in his last sermon: "Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things."
So we must avoid following Shaitan in the small things, because verily it is the small matters which lead us to the bigger sins, making us further away from the straight path.
An individual ensures that he his appreciated and attracted too by the opposite gender, in terms of his clothing and looks. We must fear Allah, and abstain from path of fahsha, illegal sexual intercourse. In order for us to safe guard our religion, our morals, and our honor.
We must remember an aspect such as education should not be used to ignore the essential duty of marriage, education is a life long process, and it has nothing to do with the requirement of us to fulfill this essential religious duty. If we delay our marriage because of education, and after completing our education we are not successful, then we face the double loss. Firstly our loss in marriage, because our age has increased, and secondly our loss in education, which was used as an excuse to ignore this essential religious duty.
The financial issues, which also is a common excuse for the ignorance to marriage. We must remember, regardless how strong one would be financially, he still has an empty hole in his heart, his desires are unfulfilled, and therefore his life feels incomplete.
An individual who is single, regardless how high he builds his status or regardless how many things he achieves, there is no one there to admire his hard work. There is no one there to fulfill that individuals needs, no one there to be the backbone of that individual.
We must remember that it only is a pious wife or a pious husband, who firmly on the deen of Allah, who lives and abides by the Quran and the Sunnah, who has the love of Allah and his Prophet embedded deeply in his heart, who can fulfill that missing side of ours. It is that pious wife, that her very sight will be pleasant to us.
As Allah has mentioned in the Holy Quran:
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn"
Shaitan, the accursed, places doubt in the minds of our youth, telling them that they cannot marry because they are financially incapable of supporting their wife and children.
Shaitan, the accursed, has put this individual in the trap of a form of shirk. We must remember that we are not the providers for our wives or children, however it is Allah, the Provider and the Sustainer, who will provide. The way, Allah has been providing us all along. What is required is the Taqwa, the Fear of Allah, and the full Tawakul, reliance to Allah.
Once we have these two keys in place, then Allah will open our doors of risq, provisions.
When we get married we are uplifting the sunnah of our Beloved Prophet, and we are doing an act of ibadah to Allah. The only thing required is our marriage be in accordance and in obedience to the Quran and the Sunnah, and that we live by these two guidances.
Most of the time, the main reason why families become financially insecure is because of their over spending in items that are useless. To over spend in clothing, cars, larger houses, luxurious furniture, and all other aspects of this world.
Therefore, when we over spend, then really it is due to our ignorance and our mistakes, and this is the main reason why our budgets always seem to be failing, and we are living in a hand to mouth situation.
People worry to about having too many children, because they are afraid of the provisions of their child. However, we must remember that it is Allah is the provider for that child. Verily, it is He, the Most Supreme, who will provide and will increase provisions for the child. We must realize that many children are a blessing from Allah, and not a burden.
So let us continue to fear Allah, let us not delay marriage, and hasten to get married. Verily, it is Allah, when we act in obedience to Allah and his Prophet, the doors of easiness in all matter will be opened. Let us build this fear, love, and hope of mercy from Allah. Let us abide by the Quran and the Sunnah, and not neglect marriage, which is a highly essential duty for us.
Let our marriage take place with the sincere intention of earning Allah’s pleasure, in order for us too attain a permanently successful and joyful marriage. Once we have that intention embedded in our hearts, once our hearts are open for the love of Allah and his Beloved Messenger, then Allah will shower his mercy and blessings upon our marriages.
Let not the attractions, and the false hopes of this dunya lead us astray, allowing us to neglect our duties on to Allah.
I leave you with this ayah from Surah Baqarah:
Beautified is the life of this world for those who disbelieve, and they mock at those who believe. But those who obey Allâh's Orders and keep away from what He has forbidden, will be above them on the Day of Resurrection. And Allâh gives (of His Bounty, Blessings, Favours, Honours, etc. on the Day of Resurrection) to whom He wills without limit.
