Feeling so depressed

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Ahsen, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. Ahsen
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    Ahsen Junior Member

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    :salam2:
    Hope everyone is in good health.

    I feel so depressed at the moment.Don't have job.My father gives me a big lecture everyday.I try to find jobs but no progress until now.I want to change my life.Bring a big change to my life.But my father objects to everything i do.I can't even talk to my parents.They are like stones.You hit your head on the stone or the stone hits your head,the result is same.You break your head.Sometimes i think i was adopted and i am not their son.Life is so difficult at the moment.It's been a long time since i was happy from inside.I wish i could just leave my parents and start a new life somewhere but i can't.Please i need some serious advice on what to do.My father has been controlling and paranoid since the beginning.They don't have the concept of accepting their mistakes.It's like they are angels and i was a burden born to them.Makes me think it was not me who asked to come in this world.
  2. queenislam
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    queenislam ★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★

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    Allah swt is The Best Providers.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    :salam2:

    :bismillah:

    “People ask you (O Prophet) how should they spend. Say, ‘whatever you spend should be spent on Allah swt (in good cause), on parents, near relatives, on orphans, destitutes and travelers (who fall short of money in foreign lands)”.
    ~Holy qur'an


    Parents have a right to be respected and obeyed by children.
    All parents are well wishers of children. They issue orders and instructions that are in the best interest of children (though children might think otherwise).
    So it is the duty of children to obey their orders and act accordingly. Some children listen to parental orders but do not act upon these or show laziness in carrying out these orders. This causes annoyance to parents. Children should remember that annoying one’s parents can lead to God’s wrath.

    Be patient !
    So if you are not employ now, start looking.

    Allah swt is The Best Providers.

    Make many du'a
    you will find job and position that you desire
    Insya'allah!

    In the meantime get yourself involve
    in good activity
    like volunteer service in mosques
    or community work.

    Some elderly people
    will not tell you when they are unwell
    but their mood show.
    stay calm and take it easy.

    Parents have looked after the children for decades. So it is the duty of grown-up children to repay them by way of caring for them and looking to their physical and financial needs.


    Please keep them in your du'a.


    ~May Allah swt help and guide you
    and make it easy for you~Amin!

    Take care!
    ~Wassalam .
  3. JenGiove
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    JenGiove Junior Member

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    :salam2: Brother,

    I understand your feelings. As I was reading, something kept playing over and over in my thoughts so I will share it with you and maybe you can share it with your father. I don't know how he would receive it but inshallah, it'l bring you some encouragement.

    You mentioned how you keep trying and trying to get a job and nothing and your father is angry about that. I couldn't help but think about Jannah. Muslims try every day to reach Jannah and yet, each day they wake up they are disappointed that they are not their. Their goal has yet to be achieved. Do other Muslims get angry and disappointed in their brothers and sisters? No, they encourage and motivate. They praise the good and forgive <hide> the sins.

    If you are putting an effort into searching for a job by working on your resume <needed in the USA>, spending large chunks of time looking for work in classified ads and walking the streets meeting people and networking...trying to always remember that their are others who are worse off than you and trying to be charitable within your means.....then the rest needs to be left with Allah. If you are making the effort and nothing is happening, then trust that Allah is working on plans for you. Just like you have to wait for a cake to finish baking before you can eat it, so too sometimes there are things in life that you need to just sit and wait for.

    Parents always want their children to be astronauts or doctors or married with a million children so that they can shower their grandparent love onto. Just remember, parents are human too and yes, its difficult to apologize to anyone, let alone your child.

    I had those same parents. Now one is gone and all those mistakes of theirs are forgotten and I cry because I see my own faults so much clearer. If but for one more day, one more chance to tell my father that I love him....
  4. Ahsen
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    Ahsen Junior Member

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    I also do love my parents and know i have to respect them but that doesn't gives them the right to make my life miserable each day.


    Anyways thanks for your advice.I will think about it.
  5. hussain.mahammed
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    hussain.mahammed a lonely traveller

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    As salam alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh dear brother,

    I understand your situation very well. May Allah make things easy for you. Surely you know after hardship comes ease.

    And to the other brothers and sisters, I humbly request you that you make duaa for our brothers and sisters who are going to family problems, marital problems, social problems, unemployment, depression, anxiety, sorrow, debt etc. Verily when a believer makes duaa for another believer in his/her absence then the Angels would make duaa for you.
    (Sorry can't quote the reference from hadeeth, someone please help me.)

    And Br. Ahsen, remember that whatever you want in your life, everything is achievable if you start praying nawafil prayers during the last 3rd of the night, Qiyam ul Layl. Do not be desperate, and take your eemaan to the next level by engaging in as much nawafil prayers as possible. Trust me, its the shaitaan who wants to break your morals and make your depressed. Always you feel like getting depressed, look to your left and tell the shaitaan,"Go to Hell."

    I got an amazing video for you - [yt]v_a_YqcgJEA&playnext=1&list=PL8F3E4181ECE23E9C[/yt]

    Wasalamu alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.
  6. JenGiove
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    JenGiove Junior Member

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    I believe you are in reference to this? I can not validate the chain of narration tho so please don't kill me if this is a deviant hadith..

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]

    [/FONT]
  7. Ahsen
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    Ahsen Junior Member

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    Thanks bro&sis.I am feeling a bit good at the moment.It's only when my father speaks i feel like hot boiling water is poured in my ears.Anyways i will try to make more nawafil.
  8. sister herb
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    sister herb Official TTI Chef

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    :salam2:

    May Allah gives you patience and helps you find new direction to your life and getting some job.

    :tti_sister:
  9. besmiralalbani
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    besmiralalbani Think for yourself

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    asalamu alaykum

    I advice you to read the lessons taken from Suratul Yusuf. It is a great Sura that gives great lessons about Sabr, Strength in case of fitnah and danger, firm Belief in Allah, how to deal with the people even if they mistreat you, how to deal with different situations ecc.

    I ask Allah to give you a solution brother and to improve your Iman and your deeds.
    Asalamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
  10. Salem9022
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    Salem9022 Junior Member

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    akhi You should do number of things. First make sure you are making your salah on time if you currently aren't and do the optional prayers. Read the Quran daily. Second is go back to school or go get some technical education. Busy Yourself in doing something even if that means going back to school. Because Allah will find a way for you. I was also in your position. I graduated college but couldn't find a Job. My Parents use to tell me the same thing your parents are saying. Sitting at home wont get you anywhere Ive learn't that the hard way.

    Keep your remembrance on Allah and his mercy. He created you and he will take care of you. There will always be a way. With hardship comes ease and so when Allah has promised you that if you remember him he will remember you. Your only option is to remember him and Busy your life in furthering your education which will build up your resume.

    Also if the situation in that environment is that bad think about moving somewhere else where there is more opportunities. Making Hijrah to somewhere you can be able to go freely and find a job. Was-Salaam 3laikum
  11. sachin4islam
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    sachin4islam Junior Member

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    Assalamu Alaikum:

    Those who are blessed with living with their parents are indeed very fortunate. You must thank Allah (SWT) for this. Parents are most precious asset for an human being,don't loose them. Endure even if they are wrong but I personally feel that more chances are there that you may be on some mistake and may not be realizing that.

    Whenever I invite my Dad to Islam,though he is not sure I am a revert or not,he says go and bark at a square and deliver your lecture there. But I love my parents. I am ready at toes to endure howsoever badly they scold me. When you will have your own offspring the matter will be more clear to you than now.

    Open your mind and eyes.

    Regards.
  12. muslima2010
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    muslima2010 New Member

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    may allah make it easier for you brother. I know its tough because my mother is sort of the same way. I love her to pieces but she has this tendency to control every aspect of my life. I been trying to be patient with her lately and its sort of getting easier to deal with it. Its a step by step procedure and i know i must stay patient and endure Inshallah. i know that allah is hepling me thru this tough but necessary moment in my life. Just make dua to allah and ask allah to make your parents more understanding towards your situation. Whatever you do, refrain from talking/arguing back. Not only is it haram but it also doesnt make the situation any better. Seriously brother, may allah make it easier for. p.s. i understand that you dont want to be lectured by complete strangers but do keep an open mind and try it. It cant make matters any worse after all.
  13. HappyMuslimah
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    HappyMuslimah Exams:Duas please!

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    :salam2:

    It is undoubtedly disheartening to not find work. I am in the same boat myself.It is a tough market out there, but inshAllah with perserverance, we will find jobs. Your parents, though they may not always speak to you tactfully, only want the best for you. You must withstand the storm you're in, for after it comes only rainbows.
  14. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    That is an amazing video. Please be so kind as to post it by-itself. That is pure joy.
  15. lilmuslimah
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    lilmuslimah Junior Member

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    All parents are well wishers of children. They issue orders and instructions that are in the best interest of children (though children might think otherwise)

    LOVELY IDEOLOGY BUT ellllllloooooooooooooooo SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT TRUE.
  16. lilmuslimah
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    lilmuslimah Junior Member

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    BROTHER HAS SAID HE HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR A JOB TO NO AVAIL AND IS TELLING US THAT HE IS NOW DEPRESSED
    WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM

    it is the duty of grown-up children to repay them by way of caring for them and looking to their physical and financial needs.

    DID ACTUALLY READ HIS POST???
  17. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    When a person is not employed we get depressed. I have been looking for work for over a year. I hit panic about six months ago. I am at another step..

    What we have to do when we are not working is to set a schedule for ourselves. Whatever skill you possess..spend at least one hour a day keeping up your skill level. Make sure you dress each day...we can get that blues day and not have a productive day...eat your regular meals. Make sure you get some form of exercise daily. Find a hobby..and devote time to eat. Make your bed. Allow your self time to reflect. Think of ways you can use your talent to move in other areas/careers. Volunteer in some capacity. Help to clean up the masjid. Teach a class at the masjid. You youngsters can teach us older folks a thing or two about technology and Islam..how to download etc...
  18. OsMaN_93
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    OsMaN_93 Here to help

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    salam alikom, there are many jobs online that require alot of time, if you're desperate check these out. Btw most survey sites are run by scum who just waste your time and pay very little money.
    http://www.workathomenoscams.com/recommendations/ (scroll to the bottom)
    I do not own that website, but I often read through it and I find it helpful. Another website I find helpful was http://faststudentcash.com/ Be careful of what you go for, and plan ahead. Don't choose to do things that pay little money for alot of time. Also, you can find websites that pay you to write articles (google: hubpages) the problem with these is if you don't write interesting articles and don't get many views you wont get money (it depends on how many people click the ads that you place your article), personally I don't like this. My favourite is 'DemandStudios' (google it) their wages are very good, but you need a glowing resume to be accepted ($5 per article).

    Finally, inshallah you find a proper job because these online ones are unreliable. take care of yourself, and volunteer somewhere to get more experience (employers like that if you're in the west) wa salam alikom

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