Here is a right way to get a wedding ceremony done & what is allow & what is not.

brother4ever

Junior Member
WEDDING OF FAATIMAH (RADHIYALLAAHU ANHA)

Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'

When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.

Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'

The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'

So, Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Anhum).

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) in marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.

When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali's (Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the Aaisha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua for them.

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.

SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE

1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2. To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5. If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.

6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7. It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8. It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?

9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.

10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.

11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.

14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of Hijaab.

15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:

o Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);

o To give necessary items;

o A show should not be made of whatever is given.

17. It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.

Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.

SOME CUSTOMS

In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.

Some examples are:

* Displaying the bride on stage;

* Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;

* Receiving guests in the hall;

* The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.

* It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not give Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.
 

Globalpeace

Banned
Where is our Shame???

Asslamo Allaikum,

We have also adopted practices from Eastern Non-Muslim; particularly from Hindus (for Asians)...

I ask Brothers to have some Haya, Sharam, Ghairat (Ghaira) & Shame! How can you permit your wife to be on display on the Stage (in makeup and dressed to kill) for everyone to see?

Totally gross, despicable and pathetic!

Have we no shame!
 

brother4ever

Junior Member
Walekumassalam
My Dear Brother
I am agree with you we have to follow the right way but becoz of the atmosphere we think that we are now modernised but we are wrong but we need to change this wrong way.we have to follow the right way to get a wedding ceremony let starts with our family & friends.I am still single Inshallah next year I am going to marry with someone .Just prey for me that I will follow the right way of wedding.

ALLAH will give us tofique to implement in our lifes
ALLAH HAFIZ
 

Ahmed_2000

Servant of Allah
salaam allaikum

V.V.. Thanks for posting this.

I agree . we specially in Pakistan have adopted . many things . one thing i will like to point is that why do women have to pay money (Dahaij) for marrying men. this is Hindus way of marrying because in hinduissim Man is superior than Women . infact in majority of Pagans Religion it is the same even in the romans were the same. even pre Islamic in makkah it was the same . Man was superior than women. and islam gave Women rights and man rights but with limits to both of them. so i guess muslims in Places like India and pakistan should not follow more culture beacuse arent pakitani and muslim indian Hindus before. arent we following our ancestors who were hindus . i think we should change many things in our marriages and treatment to women and should follow the sunnah before its too late because Death can come anytime and so will mahdi and once mahdi comes the path for forgivness will be closed. so Brothers lets make a change in our muslim UMMAH in pakistan because first we shouldnt be divided from indiia but what happed has happened because the purpose of pakistan was to have Pure Land which means Pakistan in Urdu. but now that we have pakistan seperated from india we should try and make changes in our families and follow the sunnah. the prophet (P.BU.H) told us that we should be different from the pagans and that we should shave our mustaches and grow bear. why did he told this because he may be knew that muslims are goin to start following their cultures be it Saudia Arabia. UAE , Pakistan, or any other muslim Country. arent we all following our Culture more than Islam. Have we forgot what Islam says to us. Because If inshallah we in pakistan and others in their muslim countries can start implementing Islam more than thier culture than Inshallah we can be United again and be one Ummah that we were 14 hundred years ago.

I dont want to offend anyone. Because Everyone loves his country and so do i and on day of judgement we will be judged on as individual in Ummah and not individiual in country( Nationality) but look at those reverts living in Cristian lands like UK . in Communism land like Russia , china . if these people can follow Islam and struggle ( Jihad) to follow islam. so can we as we live in Muslim country.


salaam allaikum
 

Loobna

Junior Member
:salam2:

Thank you so much for this thread - I totally agree that all of us muslims need to really pull ourselves together and follow the islamic way of doing things, not the way culture tells us. We are too worried nowadays about what people will think if we don't do things a certain way.

Unfortunately in the case of weddings it is usually the people closest to us telling us to do things the wrong way. I don't know if anyone else has come across this phrase but I have heard from many relatives that 'It doesnt look nice' if you do things this way - a most infuriating statement!

May Allah guide all those who wish to marry to do it the islamic way - I for one know its the only way I want to do things but at the same time I am scared that people in my family will not agree with this. As mentioned above we have to tell people and start implementing the correct ways. We have been blessed with being given a perfect example of how to carry out any event such as a wedding - why then brothers and sisters do we even think to look elsewhere?

:wasalam:
 

brother4ever

Junior Member
:salam2:

No Need to say thanks it's my duty to sahe a good things with our brither & sister just prey ofr us that ALLAH will give us tifique to implemenet this thing in our family

ALLAH Hafiz
 
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