HIV in muslim Community.

[HIVpozmuslim]

Assalamualaikum,

Hope everyone is keeping well. I find it strange that, no muslim/islamic leader talk about HIV/AIDS. There is so much of stigma and discrimination attached with HIV/AIDS. I have been HIV positive when I was 22, I have not been able to meet any scholar that would stand up and take up on discussing HIV/AIDS.
There are over 35 million people living with HIV. It makes a persons life really miserable without the support of community. Although my siblings know about my status they are scared and would not let me be an advocate and speak about it in public. I have tried to find a partner but as soon as they know that I am HIV positive I am rejected. People with HIV are humans and need to be treated with respect and dignity.
I would liek to hear peoples thoughts on this. I hope this will not be looked over and left without any discussion.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I will seek information for you. However I must be honest with you. You say you seek a partner. I am not sure what you mean. As we do not know what the circumstances were when you were first identified with HIV you must be patient with us. This is a public forum.
The stigma is simple. Most people that are HIV have led a certain lifestyle that is contrary to the teachings of Islam. Given that what kind of support are you seeking. What is that you wish to educate others.
In a sense you need to let us know what you need and why. It would be easier for everyone to communicate.
I pray I have not come across too hard.

 

[dunno]

I'm shocked to know your surprise that when the partner your seeking finds out your HIV positive they will reject you
your asking someone to get the disease or be in a serious risk of getting infected? and u dont want them to reject that
im sorry i think the above comment said it very well
if u got HIV through blood donations ( meaning that ur innocent from the lifestyle mentioned in the comment above ) then be patient and God will reward you but it's certainly unrealistic to find a partner that is not already infected with HIV or consider having children cause that's a crime

 

[Waseem203]

Salam alaykum,

I'm sorry to hear about your condition. But I just had to say that I think your having trouble finding a partner because no one would ever want that disease. Also having HIV isn't really something you'd like to advertise (in your name) because as Mirajmom said, its usually a result of zinaa or sharing needles. Sorry if I offended or anything I didn't mean to do that

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

Salam alaykum,

I'm sorry to hear about your condition. But I just had to say that I think your having trouble finding a partner because no one would ever want that disease. Also having HIV isn't really something you'd like to advertise (in your name) because as Mirajmom said, its usually a result of zinaa or sharing needles. Sorry if I offended or anything I didn't mean to do that

Thank you for taking time in reading the post and replying. I was young and I went astray, but I seeked repentence and forgiveness. I used to pray five times, dress and tried to follow sunnah, but at the age on 22 I found out I am HIV Positive. It has completely changed my life I turned around and went back to the live the same life.
It has become very difficult for me coz of people stigmatizing and discriminating towards me. Allah alone is to judge and make a decision on a persons action. I agree that certain life styles that is contrary to the teaching may lead to a person being HIV postive, but as I said earlier it is Allah who can only judge so why do people look down upon HIV positive people. Islam is a religion of compassion why do people not show compassion, one might have made a mistake or not ( there are many other ways other than having a certain life style, i.e. blood transfusion, mother to child and many woman who are faithfull to their husbands get infected). I dont want people to judge me, I will be judged by Allah on the day of judgement.
I am seeking support from the community/leader , I need a mentor so that I can live a life a muslim should by following sunnah and Quran. I would like to pray five times, and Hifz the Quran again, that I have forgotton now. I am seeking is that HIV postive people be treated with respect and dignity. I am seeking a wife with whom I can have a family. There is so much advancement that a person can live for years to come. I have been living for the past 10 years I am on medication and might have to be for the rest of my lifebut that is not the end.

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

Thank you for taking time in reading the post and replying. I was young and I went astray, but I seeked repentence and forgiveness. I used to pray five times, dress and tried to follow sunnah, but at the age on 22 I found out I am HIV Positive. It has completely changed my life I turned around and went back to the live the same life.
It has become very difficult for me coz of people stigmatizing and discriminating towards me. Allah alone is to judge and make a decision on a persons action. I agree that certain life styles that is contrary to the teaching may lead to a person being HIV postive, but as I said earlier it is Allah who can only judge so why do people look down upon HIV positive people. Islam is a religion of compassion why do people not show compassion, one might have made a mistake or not ( there are many other ways other than having a certain life style, i.e. blood transfusion, mother to child and many woman who are faithfull to their husbands get infected). I dont want people to judge me, I will be judged by Allah on the day of judgement.
I am seeking support from the community/leader , I need a mentor so that I can live a life a muslim should by following sunnah and Quran. I would like to pray five times, and Hifz the Quran again, that I have forgotton now. I am seeking is that HIV postive people be treated with respect and dignity. I am seeking a wife with whom I can have a family. There is so much advancement that a person can live for years to come. I have been living for the past 10 years I am on medication and might have to be for the rest of my lifebut that is not the end.

Please do not judge anyone because you are not GOD, it Allah who will judge people for their actions on the day of judgement.

 

[AnnaKanadeeyah]

Salaam Alaikum,

I was reading about something very similar to your situation recently on Islam Q&A. Here's the response:

What do you suggest a muslimah do if she wants to get married to someone who has herpes? His religoin and character is just, but he made that mistake at his teens, almost 20 years ago, he repented and never made the same mistake again. Will Allah protect me if I marry him for good islamic reasons and stay obedient to Allah?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It states in sharee’ah that the Muslim should not expose himself to harm.

That includes mixing with a person who has a contagious disease, especially if that disease is serious and chronic, such as herpes.

The rulings of sharee’ah are addressed to everyone, sick and healthy alike.

With regard to the one who is sick, Muslim (2221) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The owner of sick camels should not bring them to the healthy ones” – lest the disease be transmitted to the healthy ones.

With regard to the one who is healthy, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Flee from the leper as you would flee from a lion.” Narrated by Ahmad, 9429; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7530.

Leprosy is a well-known contagious disease – we ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

Muslim (2231) narrated from ‘Amr ibn al-Shareed that his father said: Among the delegation from Thaqeef there was a leper. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent word to him saying: “We have accepted your oath of allegiance; go back.”

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Miftaah Daar al-Sa’aadah (2/272):

He sent word to that leper accepting his oath of allegiance so as to establish the shar’i principle of avoiding the causes of harmful and hateful things, because a person should not expose himself to the causes of harm.

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Zaad al-Ma’aad (4/147):

Chapter on the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on avoiding contagious diseases and his advice to healthy people to avoid those who have such diseases. Then he quoted the ahaadeeth mentioned above.

Your wish to marry this man who has herpes may be influenced by emotion, and you think that you are being patient and forbearing, then if disaster strikes you will regret it when regret will be of no benefit. There is nothing to compare to good health.

Our advice to you is not to marry this person.

We ask Allaah to bless you with a righteous husband who will help you in your religious affairs.

And Allaah knows best.

In addition, we're asked to keep our sins hidden:

Abdullah Ibn Masoud (May allah be pleased with him) related, `A man came to the Prophet and said: `O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.' Umar Ibn al-Khattab (May allah be pleased with him) then said: `Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?' [Sharh Muslim]

Similarly, if one becomes aware of somebody else's sin, he should keep it a secret. Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter …" [Sahih Muslim]

If, as dunno mentioned, you contracted HIV through no sin of your own (and I suppose it's true even if you became HIV positive because of wrong-doing), then it would seem you have a trial before you that requires special patience and direction. I pray Allah will make this burden easy for you and that you find a scholar or Imam that can guide you. Ameen.

Respect and dignity cannot be achieved unless they are offered and received with truth. In shaa Allah, you do not feel hurt by your circumstance, but face it with grace and trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I pray I would do the same in your place.

Added after previewing your latest response: You write you would like to pray salaah regularly again and become an observant Muslim. The first step is with you, brother. Like Nike, says, Just Do It. That should be a much bigger issue than making speaking appearances.

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicum dear brother.

I am sorry also like other sisters and brothers to hear for your dissase. And Inshallah noone is judging you here. The reason of appearing these awafull dissases is exacly becuase Allah told us to not do zinaa Astagfirullah, or anything else which is not accoding to Islaam. It is way of Allahs punishment or warning towerd people who do so big sins. Noone is judging you dear brother, but Alhamdulillah we are glade that you repented to Allah,and that you are not living the life you lived before Islaam.And we are proud on you now mashAllah.

May Allah help you and find good solution for you. With trust in Allah,and also with help of some Islamic comunity you will be better Inshallah. And also I think it would be good that Muslims from your comunity take lessons from you, how disobeying to Allah can lead to so many bad things, dissases etc.

May Allah bless you :tti_sister:

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

"AnnaKanadeeyah"

Thank You for your message.

 

[DanyalSAC]

Please do not judge anyone because you are not GOD, it Allah who will judge people for their actions on the day of judgement.

Unfortunately you're going to run into a lot of that...

I will make dua for you that you will find a wife who is understanding. There are ways a poz and a neg can have a healthy and safe marriage. I've known several.

If you've repented your past, then its between you and Allah subhanu wa ta'ala. Don't let any self-righteous look down their noses at you. They started out as a lowly sperm & will end up a rotten corpse like the rest of us.

May Allah in His Mercy grant you strength, amin.

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

Unfortunately you're going to run into a lot of that...

I will make dua for you that you will find a wife who is understanding. There are ways a poz and a neg can have a healthy and safe marriage. I've known several.

If you've repented your past, then its between you and Allah subhanu wa ta'ala. Don't let any self-righteous look down their noses at you. They started out as a lowly sperm & will end up a rotten corpse like the rest of us.

May Allah in His Mercy grant you strength, amin.

Thank you for being understanding and praying.

 

[kayleigh]

I think lots of Muslims think that you only get HIV/AIDS if you're gay, or doing other bad things like using unclean needles (drugs) or having unprotected sex with multiple partners, etc. and they like to think that Muslims don't do that, which is untrue and unrealistic. In general, the Muslim community likes to pretend that lots of issues or illnesses don't effect Muslims, and it ends up hurting a lot of people. I hope that someday you'll find the right person who is willing to be with you regardless of your health status.

 

[MahyarEL-Prince]

Bissmillahir Rahmanir Rahmeen
Assalmu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatoh
Brother I read everything in this post. I understand that you have fell astry when you were younger and now you are paying this consequence. As much as I feel for you man, I don't really get a couple things. First of all if I was a girl (no offence) if you told me you had a disease I would stay away, but thats just me Idk.. I suggest if having a family is your dream then pray to Allah for a wife. But akhi... you do know if you give a women your hiv, that's basically murder.. if it was me, I wouldn't really keep that on my main priority list.
Now brother you also mentioned no leaders will support you, that is because the leaders don't want to support such a manner. You went againts the religion of Islam, what will they say on your behalf? You are a changed man? (please don't take any offence it's nothing personal) People make mistakes, I suggest you pray and read Quran more then anyone you know, master your religion and keep your prayers, if you ever need anything akhi pm me, I live in Toronto aswell

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,


Now that you have helped us understand what you seek make dua brother. It is the medicine that your soul needs. We are all here. You are not alone in this world. Yes, there are others who have been hurt by the calls of the duyna. It is time to move on. You have to be honest with any prospective spouse. You may get a lot of rejections. However, you may get a yea.
Allah subhana talla grants us forgiveness. And as the brother suggested it is time to become whole again. You have more knowledge of why to walk away from the duyna than most. You are the lucky one. You put on your brakes and came home. Do not dwell on the past. It is over. Now it is time to emulate the characteristics of the Prophet. It is time to walk on the Path. The old life is over. Your soul wanted to be with Believers. Here you are son. Now start the walk, each step in moderation, with your gaze lowered because you know what you have walked away from. Please get rid of anything that you hold on to from the past life and move forward. Go to the masjid and be amongst the men as a man of Allah subhana talla.

 

[miq1]

Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

It is best for you to find a wife that is HIV(+). There are also some Muslim women, especially among some converts that have this illness. Especially since you live in a large city such as Toronto. Try going to the Masjid and asking the persons in authority if they know of any sisters with the illness. Try also the HAART combination therapy for medications, to reduce the viral load.

Increase you knowledge in Islam at the following sites:

1) http://islamqa.com/en
2) http://thedeenshow.com/show.php
3) http://www.islamreligion.com/

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

Thank you all for advise and duaas.

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

Bissmillahir Rahmanir Rahmeen
Assalmu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatoh
Brother I read everything in this post. I understand that you have fell astry when you were younger and now you are paying this consequence. As much as I feel for you man, I don't really get a couple things. First of all if I was a girl (no offence) if you told me you had a disease I would stay away, but thats just me Idk.. I suggest if having a family is your dream then pray to Allah for a wife. But akhi... you do know if you give a women your hiv, that's basically murder.. if it was me, I wouldn't really keep that on my main priority list.
Now brother you also mentioned no leaders will support you, that is because the leaders don't want to support such a manner. You went againts the religion of Islam, what will they say on your behalf? You are a changed man? (please don't take any offence it's nothing personal) People make mistakes, I suggest you pray and read Quran more then anyone you know, master your religion and keep your prayers, if you ever need anything akhi pm me, I live in Toronto aswell

Do you know of any HIFZ classes for adult in toronto?

 

[arachan]

:salam2:

i really don't know what to say akhi... you want a family, it's human being... what you did is what you got, but Allah never stop watching us, watching His true slave asking forgiveness.... i just knew that we must avoid the harm such as diseases... but normally people don't want to get harm... but akhi, make du'a, always asking Allah's forgiveness and guidance.. Allah knows best about what we should do... Allah is almighty, Allah can change what is impossible or not possible to be change... so be patient akhi, If Allah knows best what you really need besides what you really want...

nothing i can help for you.... :shymuslima1: it's all I can do for you as sister in Islam...

 

[maYRam]

i wish u all the best.. uve gone a long way..
don't give uP!
may Allah give u strength and patience..
don't worry, ull get what u deserve on the right tym..

 

[rayray]

. I am seeking is that HIV postive people be treated with respect and dignity. I am seeking a wife with whom I can have a family. There is so much advancement that a person can live for years to come. I have been living for the past 10 years I am on medication and might have to be for the rest of my lifebut that is not the end.

:astag: Think of the repercussions it'll have on your children. It's unfair, and frankly, I think selfish. The children will suffer.