How to convince its a backbitting

L

Living Soul

Junior Member
:salam2: sisters and brothers

There is a friend who is muslim Alhamdolillah. We exchange Islamic views with each other usually. Her view about backbitting and its punishment is different then mine. I believe that a muslim who discusses another muslim's true faults and wrong doings in the latter's absence is backbitting. As while she tells me while discussing Islam that so and so person has done this thing which is not good . I ask her that its not proper to name the person while condemning the wrong act as it is backbitting of the wrong doer (sister, or brother). And that its punishment is severe. As your all good deeds will pass on to that person and his bad deeds will come to you. It is also like eating the flesh of the brother or sister against whom she is talking. But she says its alright if we discuss such thing cuaz in that case we learn and that whatever she is saying is not lie but truth and not concoted by herself.

I want to tell her the true Islam. I dont remember exactly but I have gone throgh once that there was a person who used to backbite Hazrat abu Bakar (May Allah be pleased with him) and Hazrat Abu Bakar (MABPWH) thanked that person for his act . When that person asked why he was being thanked then Hazrat Abu Bakar answered that as you backbite me so your good deeds comes to me and my bad deeds(though done unintentionally) goes to you. From that day that person stopped backbitting him.

I want sisters and brothers to help me in convincing my friend about it and clarifying her views. Plz correct me if I am wrong becuase we all make mistakes and its all about learning and becoming better muslim. In addition plz answer with authentic Ahadiths and Quranic verses if possible so that the Da'wa will be effective InshAllah.

:wasalam:
 
amirah80

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Fatwa 98326 IQA

Praise be to Allaah.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described gheebah (backbiting) as being “Your mentioning about your brother something that he dislikes.” If the quality that is disliked is not actually present, then it is a lie, and both of them are haraam.

Muslim (2589) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said: Allaah and His Messenger know best. He said: “When you say about your brother something that he dislikes.” They said: What if what I say about my brother is true? He said: “If it is true then you have backbitten about him and if it is not true then you have told a grave lie about him.”

Based on this, your saying bad things about this person in his absence must be either backbiting or lying, so what you have to do is repent to Allaah and resolve not to do this again. Part of repenting fully is striving to correct your feelings towards him, praying for forgiveness for him and mentioning his good qualities before those in whose presence you spoke ill of him. See the answer to question no. 52807.

This applies if the words were said in his absence. But if they were said in his presence, then this comes under the heading of reviling, insulting and rudeness, which is also haraam, so long as there was no retaliation, i.e., responding to bad words in kind without overstepping the mark.

That is because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah. Verily, He likes not the Zaalimoon (oppressors, polytheists, and wrongdoers).

41. And indeed whosoever takes revenge after he has suffered wrong, for such there is no way (of blame) against them.

42. The way (of blame) is only against those who oppress men and rebel in the earth without justification; for such there will be a painful torment.

43. And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allaah”

[al-Shoora 42:40-43]

And Muslim (2587) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When two people revile one another, the one who starts it is the sinner, so long as the one who is wronged does not overstep the mark.”

It says in Subul al-Salaam (2/675): The hadeeth indicates that it is permissible to respond in kind to the one who insulted one first, and that the sin of that will come back on the one who started it, because he is the cause of everything that the one who is answering back says, unless the one who is answering back oversteps the mark, in which case the sin of aggression is borne by him, because the permission is granted to respond only to the same extent as the initial offence: “The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof” [al-Shoora 42:4] and “Then whoever transgresses the prohibition against you, you transgress likewise against him” [al-Baqarah 2:194].

But not responding in kind, being patient and putting up with it is better. It is proven that a man reviled Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) in the presence of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Abu Bakr kept quiet whilst the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sitting there. When Abu Bakr responded, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got up and left. He was asked about that and he said: “When Abu Bakr kept quiet there was an angel responding on his behalf, but when he stood up for himself, the shaytaan came,” or words to that effect. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allaah”

[al-Shoora 42:40-43]

End quote.

But if you respond to this mistreatment by speaking and acting kindly towards him, and being gentle and nice, and obey Allaah with regard to him when he disobeys Him with regard to you, that is the status of people of a high level of taqwa (piety), which only a few can attain.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.

35. But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient — and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of happiness in the Hereafter, i.e., Paradise and of a high moral character) in this world”

[Fussilat 41:34-35]

May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.


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Also here is another thread on TTI referring to backbitting.

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11447&highlight=backbitting

Inshallah this can help.
 
amirah80

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

fatwa 23328 IQA

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

The Muslim has to guard his tongue and avoid things that have been forbidden. Among these forbidden things which people take often lightly are gheebah (backbiting), buhtaan (slander) and nameemah (malicious gossip).

Gheebah or backbiting means speaking about a Muslim in his absence and saying things that he would not like to have spread around or mentioned. Buhtaan or slander means saying things about a Muslim that are not true, or in other words telling lies about him. Nameemah or malicious gossip means telling one person what another said in order to cause trouble between them.

There is a great deal of evidence to show that these actions are haraam. It will suffice for us to mention just a few of them in order to demonstrate that they are haraam.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful”

[al-Hujuraat 49:12]

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allaah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.”

Narrated by Muslim, 2589

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used to walk about spreading malicious gossip (nameemah), and the other used not to take precautions to avoid getting urine on himself when he urinated.” Then he called for a green branch, which he split in two and planted a piece on each grave, and said, “May their torment be reduced so long as these do not dry out.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 213; Muslim, 292

For a person to say of another, “He cannot control his tongue (or he has a loose tongue)” is undoubtedly one of those things that a person would dislike to have said about him. If it is true, then it is gheebah (backbiting), and if it is not true then it is buhtaan (slander).

Everyone who does any kind of backbiting, slander or malicious gossip has to repent and pray for forgiveness, and that is between him and Allaah. If he knows that any of his words reached the person about whom he was speaking, then he should go to him and ask him to forgive him. But if he does not know, then he should not tell him; rather he should pray for forgiveness for him and make du’aa’ for him, and speak well of him in his absence just as he spoke against him. Similarly, if he knows that telling him will provoke more enmity, then it is sufficient to make du’aa’ for him, speak well of him and pray for forgiveness for him.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or anything else, let him seek his forgiveness today, before there will be no dinar and no dirham, and if he has any good deeds to his credit they will be taken from him in a manner commensurate with the wrong he did, and if he has no good deeds, then some of his counterpart’s bad deeds will be taken and added to his burden.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2317.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

Whoever wrongs a person by slandering him, backbiting about him or insulting him, then repents, Allaah will accept his repentance, but if the one who was wronged finds out about that, he has the right to settle the score. But if he slandered him or backbit about him and the person did not hear of that, then there are two views according to the scholars, both of which were narrated from Ahmad, the more correct of which is that he should not tell him that he spoke against him in his absence. It was said that he should rather speak well of him in his absence just as he spoke badly of him in his absence, as al-Hasan al-Basri said: the expiation for gheebah is to pray for forgiveness for the person about whom you backbit.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 3/291

And Allaah knows best.


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nyerekareem

nyerekareem

abdur-rahman
:salam2:

the issue of backbiting is always a difficult thing, because many times we backbite and always try to justify what we have done as backbiting. there are times when i catch myself doing such. when i realize it i just stop. i think it's best to deal with the person that we have a problem with on our own, rather than telling everyone about our business and potentially creating fitna.

i know that some gossip is sooooo juicy, it's hard to keep one's silence, but i'm always trying to keep in mind that if i can't speak good, then i should remain silent. i should try to remain silent because on the day of judgement my tongue, all of our tongues will be witnesses against us. and if our tongues are witnesses to our many words of backibiting, we're going to be held accountable for this. i pray that all of us do our best to refrain from the sin of backbiting, amin.
:wasalam:
 
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