Marrying Cousins
Hope this helps...
=====================================================
Al-hamdu lillah (All praise be to Allah). There is no objection whatsoever in the Islamic religion for a man to marry any of his relatives except al-maharim (those forbidden for marriage) whom Allah mentioned in surat al-nisaa', 4:23 (interpretation of the meaning):
Prohibited to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers (who breast-fed you), foster-sisters (who breast-fed from the same woman as you); your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives with whom you have consummated marriage, no prohibition if ye have not consummated; (those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Thus, when Allah mentioned for us the relatives to whom marriage is forbidden, we then come to know that there is no objection for the remainder of the family relations. Furthermore, there is no condition that it be the last resort as indicated in the question. Among the most prominent evidence of this fact is that the Prophet (peace be upon him) married his daughter Fatima to Ali (may Allah be pleased with them) and he is the son of her father's uncle, as well as the marriage of the Prophet himself to Zainab bint Jahsh (may Allah be please with her) and she is his aunt's daughter (i.e. his cousin); and there are many other such examples.
However, a different question may be asked, namely: "Is it better or preferable for a Muslim to marry someone he is not related to rather than a relative?"
The answer to this question varies from case to case, and perhaps it may be preferable to marry people who are non-relations, for example if one aspires to form new social ties or bonds, and regards the existence of a marriage relationship with a different family as constructive in widening the circle of social bonds.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
===============================================
Dangers of mixing with male cousins and relatives
Question:
A Muslim girl who was born and lived in America, goes back to her homeland once or twice a year with her family. She has a male cousin (son of paternal uncle) in her homeland who, whenever he is alone with her, touches her, kisses her, enters her room and locks the door, etc, but he has not committed zina with her, praise be to Allaah. She does not like what he is doing and she feels upset and regrets what is happening. She wants to know what she should do because she is going to travel there soon.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly what your cousin is doing to you is clearly haraam and a great evil, because that is only permissible with a wife with whom Allaah has permitted intimacy.
What you must do is to denounce that and refuse, and do not be a partner in the sin. A man usually cannot do that except with the consent of the woman.
You should note that a male cousin is a stranger to you, like any other non-mahram. It is not permissible for him to be alone with you or for you to uncover any part of your body in front of him. He is enjoined to lower his gaze and refrain from looking at you, and you are enjoined to do likewise.
A person who transgresses the sacred limits set by Allaah must be rebuked and spoken to harshly, and you should threaten to tell your family and his.
If he tries to grab hold of you, you must push him back and run away from him.
Beware of taking the matter lightly or being soft in the way in which you deal with him, for the Shaytaan may make this sin attractive to you and you may agree to it, in which case you would become subject to the wrath and punishment of Allaah.
Unfortunately many people are careless about protecting their daughters and sons, and they make it too easy for them to fall into this kind of sin, especially with regard to cousins, because they are ignorant of the obligation to be covered in front of them, or because their faith and protective jealousy is weak. Allaah is the One Whose help we seek.
You have to repent to Allaah from this haraam action; simply regretting it is not enough. Rather you must repent sincerely from committing sin and resolve not to go back to it.
You must also avoid the reasons that may lead you to commit this haraam action, such as being alone with your cousin, shaking hands with him, meeting him and talking to him. You must avoid him completely, so as to ward off evil and prevent immorality, and close the door to fitnah and sin.
Allaah forgives those who repent, give up their sin and turn to Him.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
=================================================
If they tell you that it's incest to marry our cousins, you may ask them "Where in the bible did you read that?"
