Salam I beleive one time on this forum I read " Why is there so much to confuse someone from religion". I never really understood that until now -- brothers and sisters , why do I suddenly feel so away from Islam and good? I think of Islam and for some reason all I get is a confused brain thats aching me. I always thought of Islam as a religion of peace --mercy--knowledge, but if this is true, how come the Islamic world is looked upon so poorly? I ask my mom what jihad means and she tells me to "kill jews" , and struggle in one's religion. ( She said "neya'lo" if someone kills a Jew, he will go to heaven. I cannot comprehend this, I think Jews are closer to Islam than Christians are, how come she didn't mention them? I feel the world of Islam is struggling and I think the Quran says Muslims were the best of nations. Then why is this happening? I feel at the lowest point of my faith right now and it's for so many reasons. Could this be waswas? Should I listen to Surot al Baqara? Just a week ago I was afraid that if I died I would go to hell. So I was trying to make my prayers on the exact time, do as many deeds as I could and stop the bad ones. Yesterday wasn't as bad as today, I feel like h'm getting whispers from all directions. I'm confused right now to the point I don't feel as spiritual during my prayers. I miss my religion and I seriously need advice because this is very important.