came to know this one guy at school last year, and I really did not know a whole lot about him. I find myself praying for this person to be my spouse, whereas any of my friends that I have told about it, say that I should not pray for a particular person.
I never believed in love, or being crazy about someone, but it is months now that I have not met this person, but still, I cannot help but wish him to be in my life
Also people bring up the point of taqdeer and that dua may not be useful. I have also come across some Hadith that refers to the time of death being fixed, and dua not being of any help in that regard. Does the same apply to marriage?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful
With Prayers and Salutations Upon the Best of Creation.
Asalaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatu Llah,
The first course to take in any venture in life is to seek the aid of Allah through supplication (dua'). This is the Prophetic counsel and the basis of the Muslim's spiritual and practical life.
Our Beloved Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, is reported to have said:
"The invocation of any one of you is granted [by Allah] as long as he does not show impatience by saying "I have invoked Allah but my request has not been answered." [Sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim]
And;
"There is nothing more dear to Allah Ta'ala than a servant making dua to him." [at Tirmidhi]
Also;
"Dua is the essence of Ibadah (worship)." [at Tirmdhi, Ahmad]
While the reality of 'taqdeer' (pre-destiny) is a matter that is secret to Allah Most High, we are divinely commanded to seek the help of Allah through supplication.
Allah has said: "And your Lord says, 'Call on Me: and I will answer you,'" (40:60)
All of the Prophets (Allah be pleased with them all) engaged in supplication which is proven throughout the Qur'an. Our Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace, appears to have constantly engaged in supplication and remembrance of Allah Almighty based on the hundreds of various supplications he taught us to recite at essentially every single mundane and significant moment in our lives.
Moreover, in the Reliance of the Traveler it reads: "To employ such means [supplication], in conformity with the normal way Allah Most High deals with the world (Sunna Allah), is not inconsistent with full confidence of divine providence (tawakkul)." (w59.2) What is reliance( tawakkul) if it is not consigning oneself to the destiny that Allah ordained?
I pray that you will be granted a spouse who will be a dweller of Paradise, and a source of tranquility for you in this world.
In terms of how to proceed in marrying the brother in question, consider talking with your parents. Discuss the practical matters with them. As parents an those more experienced in the world, they will have a better idea of how to proceed.
If this is not possible, your next option would be to enlist the help of a religious elder, scholar, or Imam who can help you proceed appropriately.
To approach the brother directly, or through a friend, should be avoided. Such an action may open up doors towards the unlawful or to that which might negatively effect your reputation.
Traditionally, Islamic marriage is conducted through a distinguished third-party. This protects the rights and dignity of everyone involved.
Some key prayers to perform throughout this process are:
Al-Istikhara: The Guidance Prayer
The Prayer of Need:
And Allah Alone gives Success.
Wajihah.
I never believed in love, or being crazy about someone, but it is months now that I have not met this person, but still, I cannot help but wish him to be in my life
Also people bring up the point of taqdeer and that dua may not be useful. I have also come across some Hadith that refers to the time of death being fixed, and dua not being of any help in that regard. Does the same apply to marriage?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful
With Prayers and Salutations Upon the Best of Creation.
Asalaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatu Llah,
The first course to take in any venture in life is to seek the aid of Allah through supplication (dua'). This is the Prophetic counsel and the basis of the Muslim's spiritual and practical life.
Our Beloved Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, is reported to have said:
"The invocation of any one of you is granted [by Allah] as long as he does not show impatience by saying "I have invoked Allah but my request has not been answered." [Sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim]
And;
"There is nothing more dear to Allah Ta'ala than a servant making dua to him." [at Tirmidhi]
Also;
"Dua is the essence of Ibadah (worship)." [at Tirmdhi, Ahmad]
While the reality of 'taqdeer' (pre-destiny) is a matter that is secret to Allah Most High, we are divinely commanded to seek the help of Allah through supplication.
Allah has said: "And your Lord says, 'Call on Me: and I will answer you,'" (40:60)
All of the Prophets (Allah be pleased with them all) engaged in supplication which is proven throughout the Qur'an. Our Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace, appears to have constantly engaged in supplication and remembrance of Allah Almighty based on the hundreds of various supplications he taught us to recite at essentially every single mundane and significant moment in our lives.
Moreover, in the Reliance of the Traveler it reads: "To employ such means [supplication], in conformity with the normal way Allah Most High deals with the world (Sunna Allah), is not inconsistent with full confidence of divine providence (tawakkul)." (w59.2) What is reliance( tawakkul) if it is not consigning oneself to the destiny that Allah ordained?
I pray that you will be granted a spouse who will be a dweller of Paradise, and a source of tranquility for you in this world.
In terms of how to proceed in marrying the brother in question, consider talking with your parents. Discuss the practical matters with them. As parents an those more experienced in the world, they will have a better idea of how to proceed.
If this is not possible, your next option would be to enlist the help of a religious elder, scholar, or Imam who can help you proceed appropriately.
To approach the brother directly, or through a friend, should be avoided. Such an action may open up doors towards the unlawful or to that which might negatively effect your reputation.
Traditionally, Islamic marriage is conducted through a distinguished third-party. This protects the rights and dignity of everyone involved.
Some key prayers to perform throughout this process are:
Al-Istikhara: The Guidance Prayer
The Prayer of Need:
And Allah Alone gives Success.
Wajihah.