Is dinner with opposite gender Haram?

[Sheba_770]

Salam Aleykum,

I am just curious if someone is a new to Islam and therefore not able to be around Muslim community and has the oppportunity to go for dinner with a nice brother in order to get to know each other better to see if they are compatible for future stable relationship such as marriage is that ok? they are both mature consenting adults.
Thanks

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
It is haraam to be alone with anyone who you are not related to, unless there is a mahram(someone you are related to) is there with you. This is to avoid any temptation between the male and female. Always remember that shaytan is the third party and will do his best to lead you to haraam.

 

[nyerekareem]

Salam Aleykum,

I am just curious if someone is a new to Islam and therefore not able to be around Muslim community and has the opportunity to go for dinner with a nice brother in order to get to know each other better to see if they are compatible for future stable relationship such as marriage is that ok? they are both mature consenting adults.
Thanks

:salam2:

as someone has mentioned earlier, it is not permissible for the opposite genders to be alone together without the presence of a MAHRAM. she is a new muslim, so she still has a lot to learn about certain islamic etiquette's. but if he is a " nice " brother he should probably know that the encounter is haram. i do understand that there are some places in America where the muslim community isn't large or close by, but sometimes we have to make hijrah ( migration ) to the things, people and places that we need. she has to make it her business to get in touch with the nearest masjid to seek marriage there, to at least have the imam serve as her wali so that she can meet this man with the imam as a chaperone.

also if she wants to get to know the man better, she isn't going to find out all she needs to know at dinner. it will have to result in numerous meetings between the two. they may not fall into any fitna during the first few visits; but they are human beings after all. they have desires and urges and the shaytan will put into their heads that they can continue to see each other, that they're strong enough to avoid fitna, when in fact they become more susceptible to failure because of this false confidence.

 

[Boomerang]

Salam,
Why does this sister, not go for dinner with a few friends, who can act as a chaperone? I understand that the specific people noted above (eg Imam) may not be available. Its hard in some places in the west.
I am not sure if it is in the Qur'an or the hadiths, that say you must have someone there, but in her heart she knows whats right. And if she can make a situation where she will have support to do the right thing, with friends there, then I cant see what the problem is.

 

[Phoyage]

This is a hadith from my memory not too accurate:

Whenever a men and a woman meet together in secret the third of them is the Shaytan (May Allah Curse Him!)

 

[AAminAA]

:salam2:

Every suspicion leads to haram. So, better stay away from it .

Going out no matter if that person is nice or not, is haram, if it's without mahram.

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

Assalamu alaikom

Dear Sister, I think like previously said, if the Brother is a decent Brother, he knows the two of you should not go out alone. You have to be careful of a person's intentions here..... I have a few horror stories from here in Florida (not pertaining to myself Alhamdulillah) and not every "Brother" has honorable intentions.
My view is the only honorable intentions would be to wish to marry you for the right reasons. We are all accountable to Allah.

Are you involved in a local Masjid? If the Brother is, this is a good sign. I understand it would be difficult to meet up with a chaperone if you are the only person in your blood family that is Muslim but maybe there can be some help from your local Islamic community. If you are unaware of a masjid nearby, you can PM (Private Message) me with the nearest city and I will help you find one. Maybe we are neighbours and our local masjid community could help you?

Your sister.