is it compulsory to marry??

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by pilgrim, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. pilgrim
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    pilgrim Allahu Akbar

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    :salam2: :blackhijab:
    dear brothers and sisters i need your help.
    I'm 18 yrs of age and need ur advice.
    Is it fard to marry again after the death of your husband even if the marriage is not consumated??:wasalam:
  2. Muhammad_A
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    Muhammad_A Penguin fancier

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    You're a widow...

    At 18!?

    I'm so sorry :(
  3. bemuslim
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    bemuslim Junior Member

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    GOOD LUCK

    yOU SHOULD MARRY YOU HAVE NO WAITING PERIOD..
    While it is true that an important purpose of the waiting period is to establish whether a woman is pregnant or not, it is by no means the only purpose. In this particular point, there is a difference between the waiting period of a widow and that of a divorcee. In the case of a widow, the waiting period is longer in order to be absolutely certain whether there is a pregnancy or not. Moreover, the waiting period shows that the widow values her past relationship with her deceased husband. She does not immediately join with another man. In the case of a divorcee, there are certain rules of paramount importance. To start with, the waiting period is not calculated by months or days, but by periods of menstruation or cleanliness from it. If the woman is not pregnant, her waiting period extends for three menstrual periods. If she is too old or too young to have the period, then she waits for three months. If she is pregnant, her waiting extends until she has given birth. Whichever is the length of a woman's waiting period, she stays during that time in her husband's home. He is not allowed to turn her out and she need not leave. She is entitled to full maintenance by her husband throughout this period. He has the right to have the marriage resumed if both agree on that. In this case, they need not have a new marriage contract or have a fresh dower. This is a very important factor. When a woman is in her waiting period, she may not receive a new proposal by anyone. Nor is a man allowed to promise marriage to a woman who is in her waiting period. All that he can do is to give an implicit hint. On this basis, the answer to your particular question is that a doctor's opinion may establish that a divorcee is not pregnant, but that is not sufficient for her to have a new marriage. The rights which her first husband continues to have during her waiting period cannot be easily dispensed with. Even if he agrees to her new marriage, the rules cannot be changed. 2. The waiting period of a divorcee should not be confused with that of a widow. There are differences between the two in several respects. What is common to both is the fact that while they last, no new marriage can be initiated. The duration of the waiting period is the same for both a widow and a divorcee only when the woman concerned is pregnant, or when the marriage has not been consummated. In the case of pregnancy, the waiting period lasts until delivery. If the marriage is terminated before consummation, whether by divorce or by the death of the husband, no waiting period is observed. Otherwise, the rules that apply in the two cases differ a great deal. In the case of a widow who is not pregnant, her waiting period is four months and ten days. This applies whether she is of the child-bearing age, an old woman past her menopause, a young girl who has not yet attained the age of puberty, or a woman who has missed her period and may be in the early days of pregnancy. In this last case, she would either prove to be pregnant and wait until she delivers, or that she is not pregnant by having her menstruation period, and then she would wait the same as other women, i.e. four months and ten days. At no time the waiting period of a widow may last three moths only. In the case of divorce the duration of the waiting period differs according to her personal circumstances. In the normal situation of a woman who is in the child-bearing age and who has her menstruation period regularly or irregularly, the waiting period lasts for either three menstruation or three periods of cleanliness from menstruation. We have explained in our review of the various rules that are applicable to divorce that when a man wishes to divorce his wife, he must choose the time so that divorce takes place when the woman can start her waiting period immediately. This means that it is forbidden to divorce one's wife when she is in menstruation or in a period of cleanliness during which they have had intercourse. If we take the interpretations that a divorced woman waits for three periods of cleanliness, then her waiting period lasts until she has completed her third cleanliness and started her third menstruation after her divorce. If she is to wait for three menstruation, then her waiting period is not completed until she has finished her third menstruation. Some scholars are of the opinion that the point of completion is the stoppage of the discharge, while others say that the waiting period is over only when she has performed the grand ablution by taking a bath or a shower. In case the divorced woman is either too old or too young to have the period, which means that she is either past menopause or has not attained puberty yet, then her waiting period lasts for three months. This shows clearly that there is considerable difference between the cases of a divorcee and a widow in these age brackets. A widow will continue her waiting period for four months and ten days, while a divorcee waits only three months. Our reader asks why the two cases are not the same. This is the wrong line of question to ask. With regard to legislation enacted by God, we do not ask why this is made so or should it not have been made differently. We simply accept it knowing that God only wants what is best for us. We certainly try to understand the wisdom behind it, but when that is not readily apparent we still implement it. The waiting period of a divorcee does not only ensure that the divorced woman is not pregnant, it also gives the separating couple a chance to reconcile their differences and reunite in marriage. In the case of an elderly lady, who may be 70 years of age as our reader suggests, there is simply no chance of her being pregnant. She might have not had her period for 20 years or more. Still she has to wait for three moths. Who knows but her stay at her husband's home may be necessary to give her and her husband a chance to review their situation and iron out their differences. If that elderly lady has lost her husband, she waits for four months and ten days, not to ensure that she is not pregnant but to complete a process of marriage that might have lasted for 50 years or more. She may have some claims to make and she needs to be in mourning for her deceased husband. In both cases of divorce or death of the husband, the waiting period of a pregnant woman ends with delivery, whether this takes place after a few days or nine months. This is only right because the birth of the child creates a totally new situation which must be taken into consideration. A divorcing husband will have to consider the new position particularly with regard to the upbringing of the new-born. The fact that his former wife's waiting period lapses with her delivery puts on him an additional pressure to decide on whether or not he wants to reinstate his marriage. In the case of a widow, different factors apply but these are equally important. What we have to understand is that God's law is specially designed to promote the well-being of mankind. What is more is that God looks at what serves the interest of all individuals concerned as well as the interests of the whole community. We have already mentioned that a widow should remain in mourning during her waiting period. What I would like to stress is that mourning in Islam does not have the type of restrictions that social traditions impose in many communities. A Muslim accepts that death occurs by God's will and that it is merely a prelude to a new and different type of life. If the deceased has spent his life on earth in a manner that is likely to earn him God's pleasure, then death means a step toward a happier and more enjoyable life. What is the point of mourning in such a situation? If he was a different type of person, then he does not deserve that anybody should be in mourning for him. Hence the Prophet says: "It is not lawful for any woman who believes in God and the Last Day to be in mourning for more than three days except for her husband whom she mourns for four months and ten days." The mourning then has some social and family aspects that are different from those of the traditions of other communities. Needless to say that a divorcee is not in mourning although some scholars prefer that she observes the restrictions of mourning as well. I would like to stress the fact that there is more to the waiting period than the proof of pregnancy or otherwise. Had this been its only purpose then one menstruation would have been sufficient. God certainly knows best what suits human society and He has chosen for us what ensures the best interests of individuals and communities alike.
  4. pilgrim
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    pilgrim Allahu Akbar

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    asalamu alaikum

    I am muslim.alhamdulilah. i accepted shahada 6 mths ago.
    jus wanted to kno if its obligatory to marry again even if the first marriage wasnt consumated.wat if i dont want to???:hijabi:
  5. pilgrim
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    pilgrim Allahu Akbar

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    Asalamu Alaikum

    JazackAllah khair.:blackhijab:
  6. ansari
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    ansari STRANGER...

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    :salam2:

    i also want to ask that wat if anyone dont want to marry ??? like dont want to get married
  7. ibn azem
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    ibn azem Super Moderator Staff Member

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    :salam2:

    Remaining unmarried for the sake of worship

    Question:
    Is marriage obligatory for a woman who is able to refrain from immoral actions all her life, in order to devote herself to her religion and to avoid the distractions and obligations of marriage?.

    Answer:
    Praise be to Allaah.


    Allaah has enjoined marriage, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
    “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty”
    [al-Noor 24:32]


    And it was enjoined by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400.


    And there is the story of the three men who came to ask about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told about it, it was as if they thought it was not much. One of them said, “I keep away from women and I will never get married.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to this man and to his companions that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fasted and broke his fast, he stayed up praying and slept, and he married women. Then he said: “Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5063; Muslim, 1401.


    This story indicates that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against the monasticism practiced by the Jews and Christians, both men and woman.


    So this woman should not stay unmarried.


    And Allaah is the Source of strength.


    Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’, 18/17
  8. bemuslim
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    bemuslim Junior Member

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    TAKE MY WORD FOR IT

    SALAM ALAIKUM

    To know about your duty in Islam and jurisprudence.I am inviting you to visit this site and benefit from it
    www.islamqa.com
    u will find all answers that u want to know.

    As for the explanation of QURAN
    www.tafsir.com
    Good luck
  9. Alisha
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    Alisha New Member

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    ctually even i wanted to ask is it compulsary to marry????????
  10. junaid hasan
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    junaid hasan Banned

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    The prophet, peace be upon him said "Marriage is my Sunna and whoever turns away from my Sunna does not belong to me."

    as we read this hadith ...is it not clear that to get the paradies we must follow the sunnah and to marry is also vveeerrry big sunnah.there are a lot of hadiths which motive us to get children and to get children without marry?
    upsss no chance.
    paradies=sunnah=marry=paradies.

    :)

    and to stay unmarried shaitan get a lot of chance to play with our iman.


    so give shaitan no chance to play with our iman.

    its not compelsary to marry when i am 18 or 20.
    its better to marry as soon as possible.

    allah knows the best.
  11. ibn azem
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    ibn azem Super Moderator Staff Member

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    :salam2:

    I posted one and here's one more fatwa explaining this matter dear sisters:

    Is it obligatory for a woman to get married?

    Question:
    Is it obligatory for a woman to get married?

    Answer:
    Praise be to Allaah.

    In response to your question, we will look briefly at what some of the Muslim fuqahaa’ have written on this topic. In Mawaahib al-Jaleel it was said: “Marriage is obligatory for a woman who is unable to feed or clothe herself unless she gets married.” In al-Sharh al-Kabeer, concerning obligatory marriage it says: “If a person fears that he may commit fornication, it (marriage) is obligatory on him.” In Fath al-Wahhaab, it says: “For the woman who has (physical) desires, marriage is sunnah, just as it is for the one who needs maintenance and the one who fears being taken advantage of by immoral persons.”


    In Mughni al-Muhtaaj, it says: “(Marriage) becomes waajib (obligatory) if a person fears fornication… And it was said that it becomes obligatory if a person has made a vow (nadhr) to get married.” Then concerning the ruling with regard to women: “If she needs to get married, i.e., she has physical desires, or needs maintenance, or she is afraid that immoral people may take advantage of her… it is preferable (mustahabb) for her to get married, because this will protect her religion and her chastity, and she can enjoy what her husband spends on her, and other advantages.”


    Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Mughni: “Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory. The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste (i.e. get married). This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”


    When it comes to marriage, people are of three types, one of which is those who fear that they may commit forbidden deeds if they do not get married. It is obligatory for such people to get married, according to the majority of fuqahaa’, because it is obligatory for them to make themselves chaste and protect themselves from haraam. In Subul al-Salaam it says: “Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eed said that some of the fuqahaa’ said that marriage is obligatory for the one who fears sin or hardship (because of suppressing physical desires) and is able to marry… and it is obligatory for the one who cannot avoid fornication unless he gets married.”


    In Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, it says: “There is no dispute that marriage is an obligation when desire is strong. If a person has such a strong desire for women that he cannot be patient, and he can afford to pay the mahr (dowry) and support a wife, then if he does not get married, he is a sinner.”


    From the above discussion, we can see a number of situations in which marriage is obligatory. You might ask: “How can we imagine a woman fulfilling this obligation when usually it is the man who goes around knocking on doors looking for a partner? This is not the woman’s role.” The answer is: what a woman can do to fulfil this command is not to refuse marriage when a suitable, compatible man comes with an offer of marriage.


    Muslim women and men need to understand the high status which marriage has in Islam, so that they will be more keen to marry. There follows a useful summary on this topic by Imaam Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allaah have mercy on him), from his book al-Mughni:


    The basis of the legitimacy of marriage is the Qur’aan, Sunnah and ijmaa’ (consensus of the scholars). In the Qur’aan, Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): ‘… marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:3] and ‘And marry those among you who are single and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves)…’ [al-Noor 24:32]. The Prophet [​IMG] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for this will lower his gaze and protect his chastity. Whoever cannot (get married), then let him fast, for fasting will be a protection for him.” (Agreed upon).
    There are many other ayaat and reports like these. The Muslims agree that marriage is legitimate.

    Ibn Mas’ood said: “If I only had ten days left to live, and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I was able to get married, I would do so, for fear of fitnah (temptation).”


    Ibn ‘Abbaas said to Sa’eed ibn Jubayr: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are those who have more wives.” Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: “Taawoos said to me: ‘Either you get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: There is nothing stopping you from getting married but either impotence or immorality!’ According to al-Mirwadhi, Ahmad said: ‘Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. Whoever calls you not to get married is calling you to something other than Islam.’”


    Then he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):


    The benefits of marriage are many. They include: protecting one’s religion and helping one to adhere to it; protecting and taking care of women; and producing offspring and increasing the ranks of the ummah, thus achieving the pride of the Prophet [​IMG] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), etc.
    [Translator’s note: there is a hadeeth which indicates that the Prophet [​IMG]
    (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will feel proud of the large numbers of his ummah in the Hereaster, so Muslims are encouraged to marry and have many children.]

    It should now be clear that the benefits of marriage are many. No wise Muslim woman would hesitate to get married, especially if an offer of marriage comes from a person who is strongly committed to Islam and is possessed of a good character and morals.

    Islam Q&A
    Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
  12. Alisha
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    Alisha New Member

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    ya thts true but marriage hmm i dnt know , i mean one can still remain a muslim if one is unmarried all his life...isnt it

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