It's always back to the one and only

[Rebaz]

Hello, I want to share this story I've about the last months, what I've been going through..

NOTE: My english's not perfect and I'm a teen so please respect that.
(long text)


It all started in november 2009, I met a girl over internet..We knew eachother better and better for eachday and she told me in the ending of december that she loves me even if we've never met eachother IRL. I gave her my heart...(didnt though about it ) in the beginning I was praying still..but it was just wrong to do this and pray at once so I though...''why pray :S'' and I regret that ALOT! The feelings I had for this girl was very strong..she was the first thing I though about when I woke up and last thing I though about when I slept. After few months in february this year we started to arguie..but it ended in same thing again..we retured to eachother and it felt like I was adoring her subbahanallah..I knew it was wrong..but I went to her .. by this time I had started smoking..be with bad people and drinking abit ... it was all because of stoping praying and who caused that? that girl :/. anyways in march..we had a huge fight because I'm a person that gets jealous easily when I heard her talking about other boys..and we didn't talk for few weeks.. and a song she used to link me to alot was cat stevens-wild world. It was a really interesting song and I serched for the singers ''cat stevens'' and got the page up on wikipedia and it blowed my mind when I saw that ''Stevens converted to Islam at the height of his fame, in December 1977,[5] and adopted his Muslim name, Yusuf Islam, the following year. In 1979, he auctioned all his guitars away for charity[6] and left his music career to devote himself to educational and philanthropic causes in the Muslim community. '' It blowed my mind and it was first time for a LONG TIME I was thinking of allah..I wanted to go back..but still I had crazy feelings about her..I was truly inlove with her.. very hard. The reason why I started this thread is.. we started to talk again 1 week ago but I want to go back to the right path...leave all these bad things, smoking,bad friends, that girl Everything and go back to the right path..PLEASE make dua for me because I really want but I'm very lazy ...I've promised myself to start praying but everytime i go to the bathroom I step out because of laziness :S I'm ashamed..it's a big sin I've made..please help

 

[arzafar]

Hello, I want to share this story I've about the last months, what I've been going through..

NOTE: My english's not perfect and I'm a teen so please respect that.
(long text)


It all started in november 2009, I met a girl over internet..We knew eachother better and better for eachday and she told me in the ending of december that she loves me even if we've never met eachother IRL. I gave her my heart...(didnt though about it ) in the beginning I was praying still..but it was just wrong to do this and pray at once so I though...''why pray :S'' and I regret that ALOT! The feelings I had for this girl was very strong..she was the first thing I though about when I woke up and last thing I though about when I slept. After few months in february this year we started to arguie..but it ended in same thing again..we retured to eachother and it felt like I was adoring her subbahanallah..I knew it was wrong..but I went to her .. by this time I had started smoking..be with bad people and drinking abit ... it was all because of stoping praying and who caused that? that girl :/. anyways in march..we had a huge fight because I'm a person that gets jealous easily when I heard her talking about other boys..and we didn't talk for few weeks.. and a song she used to link me to alot was cat stevens-wild world. It was a really interesting song and I serched for the singers ''cat stevens'' and got the page up on wikipedia and it blowed my mind when I saw that ''Stevens converted to Islam at the height of his fame, in December 1977,[5] and adopted his Muslim name, Yusuf Islam, the following year. In 1979, he auctioned all his guitars away for charity[6] and left his music career to devote himself to educational and philanthropic causes in the Muslim community. '' It blowed my mind and it was first time for a LONG TIME I was thinking of allah..I wanted to go back..but still I had crazy feelings about her..I was truly inlove with her.. very hard. The reason why I started this thread is.. we started to talk again 1 week ago but I want to go back to the right path...leave all these bad things, smoking,bad friends, that girl Everything and go back to the right path..PLEASE make dua for me because I really want but I'm very lazy ...I've promised myself to start praying but everytime i go to the bathroom I step out because of laziness :S I'm ashamed..it's a big sin I've made..please help

know you are responsible for your actions, so get a hold of your life decisions and choices.

 

[ahmed_indian]

may Allah help you brother. keep making duas to Allah to keep you on right path and replace her with a pious caring wife.

its not safe to keep postponing and being lazy, we dont know when angel of death can knock our door.

make ur aim to earn Allah's pleasure and His reward (jannah). hell-fire is truly a horrible place to take rest.

may Allah save us.

 

[yasser_cbe1986]

BE CONCIOUS OF YOUR ACTS

ASSLAMUALAIKUM


NO MUSLIM IS A MUSLIM UNLESS AND UNTILL HE LOVES ALLAH MORE THAN HIS WIFE,MOTHER ,SISTER,DAD AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS IN THIS WORLD.

DEAR BROTHER IN ISLAM

HOPE THIS LETTER FINDS YOU HALE AND HEALTHY


PRAY SALAH AS IT PROTECTS YOU FROM SHAMEFUL AND UNJUST DEEDS

PRAY FAJR WITH JAMATH

MAY BE I CAN GIVE YOU A FEW TIPS ON HOW TO DO SELF CONTROL

1) ALWAYS HAVE A BLADE IN YOUR PURSE
2) WHENEVER YOU THINK OF THAT GIRL JUST CUT YOURSELF WITH THE BLADE (A SMALL CUT MIND YOU ) THIS WILL JUST STOP U THINGKING ABOUT HER

AND MY DEAR BROTHER IF U STILL REALLY LOVE ALLAH THEN JUST CUT INTERNET IN YOUR HOUSE


DEAR BROTHER IN ISLAM IF I HURT U I AM SORRY BUT BELIEVE ME I WANTED TO HELP YOU AND THEN IF THIS HAS BEEEN HELPFUL PRAY FRO ME ELSE PRAY FOR MY HIDAYA

THEN STILL IF U ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS TAKE A MAHRAM ALONG WITH YOU AND THEN DO DAWA TO THAT GIRL

ASSALMAUALAIKUM WA RAHMAthullahi wa barakathulla

 

[Tru3m0sl3m]

same old story lolz Akhi its a virtual world that you were into forget it. If you are good at something then try to capitalize on it, get busy, fear Allaah (Subhana Wa Ta'ala) and cut off from your friends. Delete her Email or that email account of yours. Because thats what i did. ^^^^Don't even think of the blade. Lol that is stupid.

WasSalamu 'Alaykum

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:
I can understand you very well brother... My advice is take a little time and go to a place where you feel at ease. And then make a decision. What is your goal in life....? Decide wether that you want to enter the highest jannah or a good life in this world only... Think about it and realize the reality of life... it would be also good if you visit the graveyards... I believe that you will decide for jannah... regard what efforts you need to do to achieve it and also what are your obstacles... It is very important that you make a decision first. wish you all the best.

 

[MutlekM]

:salam2:
I sort of was in the same place as u were except it only took me 2 weeks to know that i should straighten myself out. I think you should listen and recite Quran and listen to some lectures by sheikhs on haram and hell. Think about the benefits and the losses u will gain for this and the next life. You should easilly realise that you are gonna lose alot more than you are gonna gain. I dont know about you but i like competition and i hate losing. So i hate to think that the shayton is winning which is whats keeping me from the haram. I hope this helps.
Peace

 

[Kakorot]

:salam2:

If freemixing over the net causes this much fitna, then I wonder what freemixing in real life is like :/

If she really loved you, then she would care for your hereafter, isn't that so?
I'd say, delete her contact and forget about her because she's not worth it.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alaikum,

my lovely akhi, who gave this advice

1) ALWAYS HAVE A BLADE IN YOUR PURSE
2) WHENEVER YOU THINK OF THAT GIRL JUST CUT YOURSELF WITH THE BLADE (A SMALL CUT MIND YOU ) THIS WILL JUST STOP U THINGKING ABOUT HER

This is very bad, thats promoting emo behaviour and could lead up to suicide and then Allah (swt) told us not to use our hands for our destruction

[yusufali] And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good. [Quran 2: 195]

Brother Rebaz dont do that, what you have is called the disease of the heart, i had read a beautiful article on it im sorry i cant find it. But this is just a way shaitaan puts waswas in your mind and heart, and when you are weak its the shaitaan thats controlling you. I admit its very hard to get rid of but not impossible.

hope this fatwa helps you
http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/83724/love

She is in love and it has affected her – should she go to a psychologist?
I am a nineteen-year-old girl, and I am love with someone, but I know that this love is haraam according to Islam, and I know that he does not love me, but there is no point in trying to forget this sickness, because when I tried to forget it, I found myself looking for a new love. I started to think of married men, single men, friends and cousins, etc, until I lost a lot of self-confidence. Thinking too much about this subject has started to bother me, and I started to think that there was some witchcraft, and I wanted to go to a Shaykh, but I am a bit hesitant. I do not know what to do. Now I want to go to a psychologist, but is that haraam and is it turning to someone other than Allaah? But I do not know what the solution to this problem is.

Praise be to Allaah.
Your situation is not one of witchcraft or spells, such that you need to go to a raaqi to perform ruqyah for you, and it is not a mental or nervous illness, such that you need to go to a doctor. Rather it is the case of a heart that has been affected by the shaytaan and his waswaas (whispers), who has instilled ideas of haraam love, so that you started to inflame your desire by means of poisonous (i.e., haraam) looks, wrong thoughts and false hopes, until you have reached this state of sickness, as you are aware.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Chapter: The teachings of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on how to deal with love.

This is one of the diseases of the heart, which are different from other diseases in their causes and remedies. If they take hold, they become too difficult for the doctors to treat and they cause a great deal of trouble for the sick person.

Then he said: Love of images only affects hearts that are void of the love of Allaah and that turn away from Him and are content with things other than Allaah. But when the heart is filled with love of Allaah and the longing to see Him, that wards off the sickness of attraction to images. Hence Allaah said concerning Yoosuf (interpretation of the meaning):

“Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves”

[Yoosuf 12:24]

This indicates that sincerity (ikhlaas) is a means of warding off love and the evil and immoral actions that it leads to. Protecting oneself against the cause is also protecting oneself against what it leads to. Hence one of the salaf said: Love is the sign of an empty heart. Zaad al-Ma’aad 4/365, 268

You should note, may Allaah protect you from the things that incur His wrath, that the source of this sickness is in haraam looks, which are the harbinger of calamity and which bring the sickness into the heart. Then the heart begins to imagine things, until that leads to wishing for or imagining haraam things. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably get. The zina of the eyes is looking and the zina of the tongue is speaking. The heart wishes and hopes, and the private part confirms that or denies it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6243) and Muslim (2657).

In that case, you have to block the way that leads to this sickness and keep away from places of danger and contagion. Hence Allaah commanded His believing slaves to lower their gaze (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.

31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”

[al-Noor 24:30-31]

The greatest means of protecting one’s chastity is by directing one's desire in the way in which Allaah has permitted, which is by getting married if possible. If a person is attracted to a specific individual, then he can marry that person, as it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1847) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah.

If a person wants to get married in order to guard his chastity, without being attracted to a specific person, then this is easier. In that case you can look to get married quickly and overcome the obstacles that are in your way. There is nothing wrong with seeking to keep yourself chaste. You can also seek the help of people you trust in trying to achieve that, such as a righteous sister or relative, or a mother who understands your needs.

Until you can manage to do that, keep yourself busy, mentally and physically, with acts of worship and obedience, and do not give the shaytaan any opportunity to reach your heart or distract you. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1905) and Muslim (1400).

You should also note that one of the most effective remedies for one who is affliected with that is to turn sincerely to the One who answers the prayer of the needy when he calls upon Him and to persist in seeking His help with submission and humility. This is the first step, then he should strive to remain chaste and conceal the feelings that are in his heart.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “ … whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allaah will make him independent, and whoever is patient Allaah will bestow patience upon him, and no one is ever given anything better and more generous than patience.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6470) and Muslim (1053).

You know that the other party does not share your feelings, and you know that there is no way you can marry him, and what you are doing is haraam and foolish. You still have your life ahead of you and it will be easy for you to find halaal love from a righteous husband, so do not concern yourself with that which Allaah has forbidden to you.

In the answer to question no. 21677 we have explained the best way to treat anxiety, and given some important advice which you have to ponder. We also state there that it is permissible to seek treatment from a psychologist, but we do not think that you need to do that, because your problem is well known and you are the cause of it; the remedy for you is what we have mentioned and suggested above.

In the answer to question no. 10254 we have discussed the case of a woman who was in love with a young man at school and wanted a solution. Look at this answer too, and perhaps you may benefit from it.

We ask Allaah to make faith dear to you and to make kufr, immorality and sin hateful to you, and to guide you to the best of words and deeds, and to bless you with a righteous husband and good offspring.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

 

[Dr.Khan]

1) ALWAYS HAVE A BLADE IN YOUR PURSE
2) WHENEVER YOU THINK OF THAT GIRL JUST CUT YOURSELF WITH THE BLADE (A SMALL CUT MIND YOU ) THIS WILL JUST STOP U THINGKING ABOUT HER

:salam2:

This has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard brother. Alright, I know the perfect remedy. Delete AND block her from your MSN or wherever you chat with her because the minute she comes online, you will have a strong urge to message her and start chatting, and if she messages you first, then your resistance will be of no use. Also, you will be online for long hours waiting for her to come online regardless of the fact that if you are going to talk to her or not. That's number one.

Number two is, this is all a learning experience. You have learned from your mistakes and now you can repent and proceed with your life.

I know this is easier said than done, but "Nike: Impossible is Nothing"

 

[Abdul25]

:salam2:

same stories coming again and again lolz..
very difficult to get rid of
only Allah can help..
make lots of duas lots of.. sincere ones..
this can help only..
Other remedies dont work in this condition.. at least in my case
lolz..

Make duas as much as possible.. and start praying even if you r talking.. at least pray and make dua..

 

[saifkhan]

Salam Brother
The solution is in your hand and you r asking for help??
Allah doesnt hel one,who doesnt help himself.....u know that???
We can just make dua for you.....but the satan,that is with you,only you can through satan away.
And coming to your that part(about girl).....she's not a girl,its the Satan who is moving away from right Path via the girl.....you mentioned that you r changing and trying to start praying...there the girl comes again!?...point bro point....this out.....can you follow me? As you r doing/willing to do righteous deeds,you r inshallah blessed by Allah via the angels of Allah. So Satan couldnt disturb you directly....its disturbing you via the Girl...

Be aware of that bro......think....think again....that will help isnhallah...
come on man...you r a Muslim(ma'shallah)...going to loose by a porr Satan...
Come on Bro....Raise you voice against Satan...

Allahu-akbar...

Jazakallahu Khairn....
Hoping for frequent decision and response...
You r a good guy.....honest also..mashallah
Allahafiz

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Brother Rebaz,

I do feel sorry for you as I know exactly how it feels. One thing for sure is that, no matter what others say and tries to do to help you, but if you don't make a single inch of effort to "let go" of this girl, it's not going to help you much.

I've said it before and going to said it again. But that's Ok, because we humans tend to forget and always needs to be reminded.

I know it is such a huge struggle because whom you are struggling is against your own nafs (desires) and of course Shaitaan la3natullah.

Akhi, what I used to do is to NEVER GIVE up praying and making dua'a to Allaah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Of course The All-Knower knows everything that you feel and everything that you go through and this might be a test for you in this world, to test the strength of your imaan. As you have failed (until now) for you have let your feelings, desires and the whispers from Shaitaan to control you, ITS TIME NOW to get up again, look for your strengths and seek help from Allaah The All-Mighty. Whatever that we might say, but if you don't start taking action, this will be a never-ending story. Do feel ashamed in front of The All-Mighty as Allaah has given us soooo much in this world - being able to breath without any difficulty and even living on this earth that belongs to Allaah - but yet we still disobey Allaah and make destructions and sins on His earth.

This is Hard and Very Difficult, I know, because the most hardest Jihaad is not when you go to war and not even the War of Badr but its Jihaad against your own nafs which is the hardest and most difficult. (according to a hadeeth)

Brother, try to remind yourself that your inner heart is suffering because what it needs is Love from Allaah, not a-temporary-happy-love of a girl. You might be in deep love with this girl but it's going to be for a short time and people will go away and die eventually.

Try brother, try, to keep yourself chaste and whenever you start to kneel down and bow your head in front of The Most Powerful, dua'a with a deep sincerity that you need His Guidance and His Help to go through this. Having said that, YOU MUST start to pray again and FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT everytime that laziness comes to you when you wanted to make your wudhoo.

I can go on for a few pages but as I said, start taking actions brother. Even if you will fail, get up again. If you fall down 4 times, get up again 5 times.

We do hope that may Allaah subhanahu wa Taa'la keep our youth chaste and pious so that we will be among those who deserve to be shaded under His Shade on The Day when there is no shade and protection except from His Mercies. And may we also be those who deserve to be with Prophet Yusoof while struggling to our best abilities in this Duniya to keep ourself from the evils of this world as the time of our youth is full of fitnah.

Wassalam.

 

[Ibn Uthaymin]

Focus on what you like, there`s tonnes of halal out there matey.