i've become an hypocrit

[sky_012]

Assalam U Aleykum
Fisrt of all, i want to say that i came here because i know here people are sincere, they can help you for the sake of Allah and not for gaining personal interest, and currently I’m really sad at myself and my behaviour and imaan
Well, I ‘m currently working as an engineer in a very big company which provides energy
I got my diploma recently and I don’t really aim to work or to have a careeer but I have to work in the beginning because
First, I have to gain little experience otherwise if I never ever work and I hope not one day I need to work, my degree won’t have the same value
Because I’m not married, and this little money I’m putting aside will help me for future in married life
Most importantly as I will marry someone back in my country, I have to work in order to be able to call my husband here in future when my parents decide I get married

The job Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah is good compared to the difficult experience I had during my final internship because work was really hard, I had permanent preassure etc…..
Just also one remark, I’m a person who has very low self confidence, which is not a good thing because I know as a muslim I should be proud of myself without falling in over pride of course

My problem at work, is thart my collegues they are very nice etc…they respect each other, but when they always talk about bad things which are haraam, it happens often, and they find these things funny, because they don’t have imaan or moral values and they all laugh together about idle and bad talks and in this situation I don’t know what to do, if I keep my face vbery very serious they will call me an extremist, and they already think lots of bad things about muslims who are extremist etc….

Also, they know my country as being a country of terrorists, that few ppl are extremist and terrorist and kill innocent people’s lives and in this case I don’t have the courage to defend my own country on the contrary I say, yes they are terrorists but it’s not these ppl who give the real image of islam and then they say yes we know don’t worry etc …
Overall I feel I have become hypocrite in the sense I hide my true feelings, my anger and dislike about their talks, and I say nothing or I do little smile and if I start eating apart alone in another table, that’s strange because they always eat together in the cantine
I don’t really have a question for you all, because as I’m writing I see it is my fault I should be strong, but for the first time my job is not being bad experience, but I feel hypocrite, it’s not like I laugh with them on their bad talks , but I on the other side I don’t tell them explicitely and confidently that I don’t approve these type of talks, and the thing is simple, if I do so, means I’m out of the team and I stay apart

Just wanted to share my current feelings, I feel it’s a lack of imaan perhaps, if I had strong iman, at least I wouldn’t feel hypocrite, in the past I used to be very strong during studies and tell loudly what I think, now I work, I ‘ve lost everything

Thanks for reading if you have any advice on how I can change

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: i believe from my own personal experience of 14 years of corporate life in the usa both in nyc and florida, it is often quite a challenge/struggle/jihad to balance being a good muslim and being part of the corporate bunch. there is always a lot of petty talk going on, both women and men do it..... i think by becoming quiet or showing disapproval or disinterest in the topic of conversation that this can be quite effective. people may check themselves if you show a dislike for the tone of the idle conversation and voice that you have no time for such conversations and have better things to spend your time on. this, in turn, may lead to curiosity about your standpoint and subsequently interest in why you are this way.... this could in turn lead to dawah indirectly....

i, personally, do not deem you a hypocrite as you witness their idle talk and do not add fuel to the fire but would advise you to show your disapproval and don't be afraid to sit by yourself at lunchtime listening to qur'an on mp3 or reading qur'an, etc.

May ALLAH keep you strong.... i was a hypocrite and listened to people talk badly about others and chimed in on occasion before my faith grew stronger.... even though i was not religious at the time, it always made me feel awful... after a while i just started keeping to myself and i am sure they were laughing at me and talking about me behind my back but that was the better choice to be rid of that nonsense!

 

[khansahil]

asalamalikum

i remember at my wrk place b4 i was same situation like u i mean leak of knowledge my friend name was mohammad they made fun of it well we were friends but diz made me angry i could have just told them dunt make fun of other names or religion....well in my opinion talk wid them abut da extreme thing every religion have black sheep hitler was christian killed millions of jews dat dosent mean every christian is same as hitler is it?? or bush or wat ever.... allah help u n guide u 2 the right path recite quran ayat ^ as above other bros said....jazakala khairr