just need options

S

sarinabets

Member
:salam2:
Ok lets start out with a few basics. I've been muslim since9/18/09(I'll let you do the math depending on when you read this). I'm a single mother andI have a young daughter I working with at home/ homeschooling(she is going to a preschool in the fall and I'm still going to homeschool her when it comes to islam and arabic). and the third thing is I live with my verry strict christian parents.
Ok now the needing options part. it's about hijab. We are constantly at odds over me wearing it, and the only time I can leave the house with it on is when I'm going to friday prayer. I have a half a dozen scarves in my car I slip on when they aren't looking/whyle I'm driving(aka at the stop signs and red lights) but we seriously fight if I try to put one on before I leave the house, let alone wear one when we leave together as a family.:angryblue: I live with my parents because I can't afford to move out and they are willing to watch my daughter when I work.
basically the question is should I go against my parents and risk them kicking my daughter and I out, or keep doing what I have been doing and wait until I actually do move out on my own to be able to support the two of us.
Also, every sunday they basically wake us up so all 4 of us(my mom, dad, my daughter and I) can go to their church. "I just don't want to go", and "it's not my religion" are not good enough answers and I'm running low on excuses for not going. :angryblue:
any help or words of encouragement will help a great deal. thanks in advance
 
X

ximkoyra

Junior Member
:salam2:

sarinabets said:
basically the question is should I go against my parents and risk them kicking my daughter and I out, or keep doing what I have been doing and wait until I actually do move out on my own to be able to support the two of us.
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Well, the beautiful thing about Islam is that necessity dictates exceptions. If you truly feel that you and your daughter will become homeless and cannot arrange any other living arrangements, then it might be prudent to keep doing what you are doing until you can move out.

Would it be feasible to approach them through the Christian viewpoint? I mean, is it realistic to try and talk to them using Christian images of the Virgin Mary (Mariam r.a.) and using Bible verses that mention head covering? Some people just take longer in accepting and the fact that they know that you're a Muslim and still let you live with them is proof that they still deeply care for you.


Also, every sunday they basically wake us up so all 4 of us(my mom, dad, my daughter and I) can go to their church. "I just don't want to go", and "it's not my religion" are not good enough answers and I'm running low on excuses for not going.
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Someone else can probably give a better reply, but I would recommend to just be patient. Maybe if you try to go with your hijab, they'll refuse to take you with them.

Here are a couple verses that I really like:

4:28 Allah desires that He should make light your burdens, and man is created weak.
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16:96 And We will surely give those who were patient their reward according to the best of what they used to do.
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S

sarinabets

Member
ximkoyra said:
:salam2:

Would it be feasible to approach them through the Christian viewpoint? I mean, is it realistic to try and talk to them using Christian images of the Virgin Mary (Mariam r.a.) and using Bible verses that mention head covering? :
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on one end, they're methodist. they have never covered in their lives(except for one aunt who switched to catholocism thru marrage, but the entire family attempted to talk her out of that one(lol it didn't work, she still is married to the man)) I have also attemted to use the Mary issue, it didn't work. it's the whole issue that only a few sects choose to cover, and those that do, fewer still choose to cover in their daily lives. she even mentioned that fewer and fewer nuns are choosing to wear the traditional garb.
 
A

ammu

New Member
salaamualaikum

:salam2: dear sister

Please remember that when Allah helps anyone no one can distroy him or her, but when Allah doesn't like our actions when we disobey him he will turn away from us and when Allah doesn't pour his mercy on us then even the whole family and whole world's support and happiness cannot help us to have peace.

When we ignore what is dark and untrue and be steadfast and patient then Allah SWT will help us and guide us and protect us but when when we disobey Allah and godforbid loose Allah then even the whole family and whole world cannot help us to attain peace and Allah Mercy.

Be clear about wearing your hijab daily,praying daily and be clear about your believe in Islam.

If they donot understand then try to make migration to a better place where muslims live or near a mosque or in muslim community, it may be difficult but Hope every thing will fall in place for you and your daughter.

Those who be patient and steadfast for love of Allah and his messenger surely there is reward for them in this world and hereafter, never ending happiness in paradise. Inshaallah

May Allah make you steadfast and help you in every way required.Inshaallah
:tti_sister:
Fiamaanillah
ammu
 
J

JenGiove

Junior Member
sarinabets said:
:salam2:
Ok lets start out with a few basics. I've been muslim since9/18/09(I'll let you do the math depending on when you read this). I'm a single mother andI have a young daughter I working with at home/ homeschooling(she is going to a preschool in the fall and I'm still going to homeschool her when it comes to islam and arabic). and the third thing is I live with my verry strict christian parents.
Ok now the needing options part. it's about hijab. We are constantly at odds over me wearing it, and the only time I can leave the house with it on is when I'm going to friday prayer. I have a half a dozen scarves in my car I slip on when they aren't looking/whyle I'm driving(aka at the stop signs and red lights) but we seriously fight if I try to put one on before I leave the house, let alone wear one when we leave together as a family.:angryblue: I live with my parents because I can't afford to move out and they are willing to watch my daughter when I work.
basically the question is should I go against my parents and risk them kicking my daughter and I out, or keep doing what I have been doing and wait until I actually do move out on my own to be able to support the two of us.
Also, every sunday they basically wake us up so all 4 of us(my mom, dad, my daughter and I) can go to their church. "I just don't want to go", and "it's not my religion" are not good enough answers and I'm running low on excuses for not going. :angryblue:
any help or words of encouragement will help a great deal. thanks in advance
Click to expand...

:salam2: sister,

May Allah reward you for your Jihad, and yes, that is exactly what it is, a struggle for you to hold fast to your faith.

I am not a Muslimah but I understand your struggle. I thought about your post and your situation for a few days and one thing I realized...you are a grown woman. Now, in Islam respect for parents is paramont so here is my own personal advice. First, sit them down when the momnet is calm and loving and tell them that you understand that they are only trying to watch out for your "eternal soul" and that you deeply apprieciate their love for you. Tell them that you hope that their love will never go away but gently remind them that you ARE a grown woman and have the right to make your own choices in how you dress or how you practice your love for God. Let them know that since it IS their house that you will follow their request for you not to wear your Hijab in their home, BUT, that once you step into your car..you are going to be wearing it because that is your choice and your right. Let them know your fears about loosing the right to live there because of your choice in religious practice but you love God <and use those words since its what they identify with> and you have to practice your love the way you see fit.

Beyond that, leave it to Allah to move their hearts and help them to feel the love for you more than the fear of Islam.

Fee Amanallah..
 
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