Life of a sad one

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Shamim56, Sep 29, 2009.

  1. Shamim56
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    Shamim56 Muslim Brother

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    Assalamualakum Brother's and Sister's

    Here, i really wanted to express my life in the following paragraph and wanted your replies and see your response because i really cant talk about it with any other person no one would understand and think im weird. So this is why i come here because i can express myself without anyone really knowing....

    During my childhood year's until the end of 6th grade, i had one of the most happiest life a person could have. My friend's were always there for me and most of them were Muslim (we had our little group of 6 people). We used to go to each other's houses and have lots of fun. My childhood years were also i could say the best years of my life so far, i had even finished the Quran for the first time during that time.

    I had become very close to a friend of mine i had known since 2nd grade. I had become very attached to his family and his family and his relatives treated me like i was also part of their family. I used to go to there house everyday and his mom would teach me how to read the Quran. My best friend and i used to go everywhere together, sometime he would go places with my family and i would go places with his family. Everything was going fine until 6th grade

    At the end of 6th grade, i had got the news of him moving, it didnt seem much at first. Then i got the news of 4 out of 6 of my other closest friends were moving. I didnt notice how much they meant to me, they would always stick up for me and just being around them made me happy. During my 7th grade year i had become depressed and was always crying every night in my room while about to go to sleep. That year was the worst, i had gotten the worst grades i gotten in my whole life, i lost almost all my friends because they moved, and my dad became increasingly angry with me for making bad grades and actually at time beat me or slapped me for it. Everytime i think of it tears come out of my eyes because i couldnt not explain what i was going through.(yes guy's cry to they just never infront of anyone)

    Eigth grade started out good i had gotten very good grades, but my father was still mad about 7th grade and actually slapped me one-time infront of the whole family. I just felt like no one liked me anymore. I was an Ordinary person when i talked, and looked like an ordinary person. At the end of 9th grade i looked toward my religion.

    During the month of ramadan i fasted all the days, went to all the taraweeh prayers and went to 4/5 odd days for la-ital qadr. I prayed everyday for my life to change and it actually has because i met new people in my class. 10th grade is starting out good but i am still saddened about what i lost, i dont have my old friends phone number or anything and most of them moved far away. The friend's i have now, there still not the same. I dont think i have an ordinary life, its usually sad which is why most of the time i look toward Islam. I just want to see if anyone else had any of the same experience because i dont want to feel like "oh why out of all the people is it me!?". I always hate that question.

    Jazakallah Khairan

    May allah give us a Joyful life here, and more importantly, the hereafter.
  2. podolski11
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    podolski11 PAIN

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    salam alaykum

    so u have like errmmm have social anxiety?.........hard to make new friends?.....
    i dont c the reason to cry though for ur friends who moved out...thats the 1st time ive heard of something like that
  3. A Kashmiri
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    A Kashmiri Junior Member

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    Well this happens with many people when they are young. One can make good friends any time. I too had a group (6)) of childhood friends from Nursery, and three of them still my best friends even though we dont live at one place. I too couldnt think of living without them when i was young. 3 friends among them changed before 4 years which is OK and normal.

    You should not take this issue so serious even though i can understand losing good friends can be tough when one is young but.. You should make some new friends and evrything will be fine and you will be happy.

    Regarding your dad, he should have not behaved like this and should have tried to know the real reason for your not performing well but being a dad can be challanging job as he may have many other things to take care of. You should have told him about your situation and how you feel depressed for losing your friends and he may have understood and helped. It is quite tough sometimes for us to understand the position of our parents , they too may have been undergoing tough time and may overlook things that affect us sometimes. You can even tell him now the real reason if you want to.

    Have a happy life
  4. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    aslam o aliakum

    Brother, yes i know it must be really hard for u , but inshallah u got a long life ahead of u :) u r only in grade 10 , i remember i had some really close friends then and one really really close friend and he moved i was very sad but u know i will always miss hiim and remember him but i know he had to go and Inshallah :) we will all meet again in this duniya or akhira so cheer up brother :)
    Mashallah u r doing well and dont let the parents beating bother u , --- i think parents who beat their kids are cowards but it happens alot in many cultures

    ;) i'll pm u a video :) about beating their kids :) u will enjoy it ;) and whenever u feel like u r in a similar situation just remember ;) it in a funny way

    Inshallah everything will be kool ;) dude chin up :)
  5. misalat
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    misalat Junior Member

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    :salam2: brother,

    sad to hear your situation and i pray that may Allah help you out of your sadness .... AMIN!:tti_sister:

    However, in islam we should not love too much any one except ALLAH to the extent that we can not forget them ... also we should not hate anyone except ibliss (shaitain) to the extent that we can not like them again.

    Allah knows best!
  6. allah is with me
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    allah is with me Rabana Wa laqal Hamd

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    dont worry bro....
    allah is testing you!!!....
    i know how it feels, when someone is hurted....
    plz dont worry, work hard, study hard..
    you will get your friends back inshallah :)
  7. revert2007
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    revert2007 Love Fishing

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    Assalamaulikum.I feel bad about ur situation.well even women always have the same situation as u.at least man can still be with his friends after his marriage but the same thing do not apply to women.if the husband do not like the wife's friends,the wife must cut the relationship with her friends and if she moves with her husband,she gotta stops eeing her friends.
    i had plenty of good friends but i have never really able to continue the friendship.

    now after so many years i meet good people and love them for the sake of Allah.do not think that whatever u have is the best and if u lost it then u have lost the precisious thing.Allah always replace the bad with good.

    as long as u have Allah and islam,do not be sad and feel down.
    u don't have much time to be sad.we are actually running out of time.get back on the track and start strengthening ur iman.increase ur hasanat.
    u have a lot of things to do.help others to know islam.teach others quran.u can do alot of things and stop thinking about the past.

    PAST IS A HISTORY
    PRESENT IS WHAT YOU HAVE
    FUTURE IS WHAT YOU ARE UNSURE OF

    so do something about ur present.don't think about something that u hv lost or u cant have.

    best regards to u and hope u will be better soon.think about ur soul which will live forever.
  8. xSharingan01x
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    xSharingan01x TraVeLer

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    :salam2:
    Childhood memories for some of us can indeed be the 'golden years' of our lives, full of innocence and good pleasure. Even now, I sometimes become somewhat nostalgic whenever I reflect upon my childhood. Alhamdulilah, I enjoyed every moment of it.

    As time passes we loose some old friends and make new ones, we move on and adapt. Having gone through the difficult phases of an adolescent growing up in a non Islamic environment I can understand the challenges you're facing brother.
    I completely agree with you that we cannot often share the struggles and stress of this fragile time, but I'm glad that you opened a thread and expressed your thoughts. You're not alone in facing these challenges, I assure you many of the brothers and sisters here had to struggle with similar transition.


    The most important thing for you to remember is that, it is essential for you to keep your Islamic foundation intact. If you do that, then Allah Subhanu Ta'Ala, will surely make things easier for you. Allah, will surely bless you with friends who are better.

    We are social creatures by our very nature, so it is essential for us (those living as a minority community) to choose right companions and preserve our Deen.
    Trust me, you do not want to have friends for the sake of having friends and later in life regret because of the type of company you surrounded yourself with.

    Regarding this topic, Muhammad SAW said: ""A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so consider who you befriend." [Abu Dawood, At-Tirmidhi]

    Our experiences and influences during these difficult years to a large extent shape our personality/identity during the post adolescent years. Have faith in Allah Susbhanu Ta'Ala and try to surrounded your self with good influences be it freinds, knowledge, hobbies.....

    The Prophet SAW further illustrated this point when He said : "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him" [Bukhari, Muslim]

    Consider this, Most of the friends we make during early years of our lives sooner or later go our separate ways. It is unfortunate, but this is
    the truth, so don't stress over this issue, rather I advise you to adapt to change and move on.

    It is unfortunate what your father did, but if he is some kind of reason for his action and he is concerned about then try to understand him and speak to him. May Allah make things easier for you and your parents.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    One of the brother or sister said, "Parents who beat their kids are cowards", although this may apply to many parents, but let's not paint all parents who 'beat/discipline' their kids with the same brush. We should try to understand things from their perspective. There is a good line between discipline and abuse :) And parents do have the right to discipline their kids.

    More often than not our parents tend to be right concerning most things.
    To the brother/sister in question: What will you do when your kids do not listen to you instead follow their whims and desire while you who sacrifice so much for their future?

    :wasalam:

  9. Hard Rock Moslem
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    Hard Rock Moslem I'm your brother

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    Of course, nothing can be compared those innocent childhood days. We used to have a lot of friends, we fight but end of the day we are still friends. We share everything sometime we eat in one plate.Friendship is colour blind, one of my best friend during my childhood was this chinese girl, we lost contact when her mother took her to other town. Among my friends, only she knows everything about me, only she listened to my problem and share my sorrow coz we both lost our father when were small and we both was very poor at that time.

    Life must go on brother, I know you need a shoulder to cry. If you want to complain and really need somebody to talk to, remember Allah is always there. Talk to him, pray and make du'a a lot. Do not keep grudge with your father, make du'a for him. I lost my father when I was small and it was even tougher without father during that time, we were so poor and my school mate used to make fun of me because I do not have father. It was strange. Allah knows best.

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