Noorun Nisaa'
Junior Member
We must know that the best of knowledge and the most important knowledge is knowledge of Tawheed of Allaah (subhanuhu wa ta’ala), then knowledge of what the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) was upon and his Companions (radiAllaahu anhum), and this is followed by acting on that knowledge and calling to it.
We must have knowledge of the Religion that Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) sent His Messengers with. The only Religion that is acceptable by Allaah is Islaam, as He (Azzawajall) says:
“This day I have perfected for you your Religion and completed My favour upon you and chosen for you Islaam as your Religion.”
Islaam is the Religion of complete and utter submission to Allaah with sincerity. The Religion with Allaah is Islaam and He will not accept other than Islaam and other than that which the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) came with and his Companions understood.
Allaah (subhanuhu wa ta’ala) says:
“Whoever brings a Religion and tries to offer a Religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted from him and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers.”
This is what is commanded on us and this is what we follow and adhere to.
Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) chose the Companions, both male and female, to be conveyors of His Religion. The best of them are Aboo Bakr as-Siddeeq, then ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, then ‘Uthmaan ibn Affaan. After them comes ‘Alee ibn Abee Taalib, and then those Companions who were guaranteed Jannah and were all fit for the khilaafah.
After these Companions, they are followed by those who came after them. All of the Companions are Imaams for us and all were truthful and conveyed the Religion of Allaah.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) had around him the best of individuals. Therefore, his wives were the best of the women and are referred to as our mothers.
The wives of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) were the most righteous and virtuous of women. He had eleven wives and all were beloved and truthful and all of them are examples for both women and men to follow.
Khadeejah (radiAllaahu anha) was the first wife of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and he loved her the most and had most concern for her. He would speak about her in a praiseworthy manner. He loved her so much that even ‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anha) was more jealous of Khadeejah than any of the other wives.
His other wives were ‘Aa’ishah bint Abee Bakr, ‘Asmaa, Hafsah bint ‘Umar, Sawdah, Safiyyah, Zaynab, Zaynab bint Jahsh, Umm Habeebah (the sister of Aboo Sufyaan), Umm Salamah, Juwayriyyah, and Maymoonah. We take from all of them as examples and read about them and learn about them so we can live our lives like they lived their lives.
These women suffered and strived in the path of Allaah (Azzawajall), knowing that the deen sometimes has ease and sometimes has hardship. They lived in the same manner of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam).
The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“When one of you feeds himself let him feed his wife and when one of you clothes himself let him clothe his wife.”
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) was the best of husbands to his wives. He (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“The best of you are those who are best towards their wife, and by Allaah, I am the best of you towards my wives.”
He (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) showed them kindness and gentleness but he never compromised the Religion with them. He was just and truthful to them and shared them in a just manner.
He (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Marry a woman for four reasons: for her beauty, for her wealth, for her lineage, or for her Religion. So marry the woman who is best in Religion and you will be successful.”
If he ordered the people with something he would be the first to implement it, so this shows that he himself married only those women who were best upon their Religion.
The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“The whole of the earth and the whole of the dunyaa is possession and provision and needs. The best of the provisions of the earth is to have a righteous wife.”
So the best of the dunyaa a man can have is a righteous wife and he (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) was the first to implement this. So his wives were of the most righteous of women.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) also said:
“There are four things that open a man’s heart and bring trust to him: to have a righteous wife, to have a good riding beast, to have a house that is expansive, and to have a neighbour who is righteous. There are four things that constrict a man’s heart: an unrighteous wife, a riding beast that is not reliable, to have a house that is restrictive, and to have a neighbour that is untrustworthy.”
So amongst the things that expand the heart is to have a righteous wife. His heart becomes at ease when he walks into his house because he knows he has a righteous wife.
Also, the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Marry the women who are loving and fertile for verily I will compete with the rest of the Prophets in having the greatest number of the ummah.”
The woman should be loving and be willing to have many children. It is reported in a hadeeth on the types of women a man should look for that:
“A woman who prays her five daily prayers, fasts Ramadaan, guards her private parts, and is obedient to her husband, will be allowed to enter into any door of Jannah she wants.”
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) informed the women:
“O women, verily I saw the Hellfire and the majority of the inhabitants are women and the Jinn due to the Kufr they have. The kufr is ungratefulness in gratitude towards your husband.”
If the woman knew the rights of her husband over her she would not sit down until she had served him his mean and he had completed it.
On the other hand, the woman should also look for a man who will give her knowledge, religion, security, etc. A woman should marry the husband who is righteous, pious, and is upon Salafiyyah and the way of the Companions, so that she will know the duties she must fulfil and the path that she needs to follow.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Marriage is half of your religion, fear Allaah in the other half.”
If a woman has married a man who is not righteous it is upon her to call him to as-Siraatil Mustaqeem (the Straight Path) and guide him to the way of the Salaf.
Umm Sulaym was one of the female Companions who was an excellent example for us and the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said she was a woman of Jannah. When Aboo Talhah wanted to marry her she said to him that she didn’t want any dowry except for him to say, “There is no one worthy of worship except Allaah.” All she wanted was al-Islaam so Aboo Talhah took the dowry and became Muslim.
Her son was Anas ibn Maalik and after he was born she offered him to the Prophet as a servant so he could live in his house and learn from him and serve him. She wanted her son to be raised in the house of Prophethood.
At the time of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) the believing women would send their children to the Prophet and send them in the way of Allaah. We should be concerned for our children for the Hereafter and we should be concerned for them that they do not become fuel for the fires of Hell.
We should want our children to enter into Jannah and walk among its gardens. We should give our children this tarbiyyah instead of the glamour of this world.
The women and the men are both answerable for their children. Do not become deluded for what this world has to offer. We must read about the lives of the Companions and read about the Sunnah and the way of Salaf since this will become success for you.
The glamour and corruption of this world will only become fuel for the Fire. The true liberation is that you do not follow or give obedience except to Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) and whoever He has ordered us to obey.
We should want our women to be like the wives of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and not like the women of the kuffar. We can only do this by knowing how these female Companions were and of the sacrifices they gave.
All that applies to the men also applies to the women since the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Women are nothing except the twin halves of men.”
Therefore, unless there is a specific text ordering a duty for the women or for the men, then there would be a difference. For example, the best prayer for the man is in the masjid where he will receive 25-27 times the reward of praying in his house. But for the woman, the best prayer is in her house.
We know that the best place for the woman is to remain inside her house. Faatimah (radiAllaahu anha) was asked by ‘Alee (radiAllaahu anhu): “What is the most beloved thing for Muslim women?” She replied: “Not to look at strange men and not to have strange men looking at me.”
If a woman needs to leave her house she seeks the permission of her husband since if she doesn’t the Shaytaan will beautify her outside of her house.
Women have specific rules and regulations that are specific for them to know about such as menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, marriage, etc. It is not permissible for them to remain ignorant about these issues.
‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anhu) said:
“How noble are the women of the ansaar for they do not allow their shyness to stop them from seeking the Religion.”
The women would come to the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and ask him about their affairs. For example, Umm Sulaym asked him about wet dreams for women. Allaah (subhanuhu wa ta’ala) is not shy in explaining and establishing the Religion so the women would come to the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and ask about these issues.
We are not shy in asking about and explaining any matters of the Religion such as sexual relations. ‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anha) reported that she and the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) used to make ghusl together from the same pot of water, and they would make the ghusl together.
Tableeghees, Hanafees, and also the Jews and the Christians turn sex into something disgusting and despicable when it is instead a pleasure of Jannah so it cannot be disgusting.
The Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Whichever fluid is stronger determines whether the child will be a boy or a girl or if it will have the features of the man or the woman”
Everything mentioned has been done to protect society from fornication and corruption. That the husband and wife take pleasure in eachother is from the establishment of an Islaamic home. It is better that they take pleasure in eachother or else they will look to what is outside.
It is reported that a woman came to the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and said that her husband spent many nights in worship so the he went into the street and told the men: “Your wife has rights over you. Go to her and don’t spend all the night in worship.”
Marriage controls the desires. It is upon the husband and the wife to know the rights of the other to establish an Islaamic home. If we act upon the regulations that Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) has ordered us with we will find that Allaah will make our path easy to Jannah, insha’Allaah.
We must have knowledge of the Religion that Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) sent His Messengers with. The only Religion that is acceptable by Allaah is Islaam, as He (Azzawajall) says:
“This day I have perfected for you your Religion and completed My favour upon you and chosen for you Islaam as your Religion.”
Islaam is the Religion of complete and utter submission to Allaah with sincerity. The Religion with Allaah is Islaam and He will not accept other than Islaam and other than that which the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) came with and his Companions understood.
Allaah (subhanuhu wa ta’ala) says:
“Whoever brings a Religion and tries to offer a Religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted from him and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers.”
This is what is commanded on us and this is what we follow and adhere to.
Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) chose the Companions, both male and female, to be conveyors of His Religion. The best of them are Aboo Bakr as-Siddeeq, then ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, then ‘Uthmaan ibn Affaan. After them comes ‘Alee ibn Abee Taalib, and then those Companions who were guaranteed Jannah and were all fit for the khilaafah.
After these Companions, they are followed by those who came after them. All of the Companions are Imaams for us and all were truthful and conveyed the Religion of Allaah.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) had around him the best of individuals. Therefore, his wives were the best of the women and are referred to as our mothers.
The wives of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) were the most righteous and virtuous of women. He had eleven wives and all were beloved and truthful and all of them are examples for both women and men to follow.
Khadeejah (radiAllaahu anha) was the first wife of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and he loved her the most and had most concern for her. He would speak about her in a praiseworthy manner. He loved her so much that even ‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anha) was more jealous of Khadeejah than any of the other wives.
His other wives were ‘Aa’ishah bint Abee Bakr, ‘Asmaa, Hafsah bint ‘Umar, Sawdah, Safiyyah, Zaynab, Zaynab bint Jahsh, Umm Habeebah (the sister of Aboo Sufyaan), Umm Salamah, Juwayriyyah, and Maymoonah. We take from all of them as examples and read about them and learn about them so we can live our lives like they lived their lives.
These women suffered and strived in the path of Allaah (Azzawajall), knowing that the deen sometimes has ease and sometimes has hardship. They lived in the same manner of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam).
The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“When one of you feeds himself let him feed his wife and when one of you clothes himself let him clothe his wife.”
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) was the best of husbands to his wives. He (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“The best of you are those who are best towards their wife, and by Allaah, I am the best of you towards my wives.”
He (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) showed them kindness and gentleness but he never compromised the Religion with them. He was just and truthful to them and shared them in a just manner.
He (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Marry a woman for four reasons: for her beauty, for her wealth, for her lineage, or for her Religion. So marry the woman who is best in Religion and you will be successful.”
If he ordered the people with something he would be the first to implement it, so this shows that he himself married only those women who were best upon their Religion.
The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“The whole of the earth and the whole of the dunyaa is possession and provision and needs. The best of the provisions of the earth is to have a righteous wife.”
So the best of the dunyaa a man can have is a righteous wife and he (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) was the first to implement this. So his wives were of the most righteous of women.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) also said:
“There are four things that open a man’s heart and bring trust to him: to have a righteous wife, to have a good riding beast, to have a house that is expansive, and to have a neighbour who is righteous. There are four things that constrict a man’s heart: an unrighteous wife, a riding beast that is not reliable, to have a house that is restrictive, and to have a neighbour that is untrustworthy.”
So amongst the things that expand the heart is to have a righteous wife. His heart becomes at ease when he walks into his house because he knows he has a righteous wife.
Also, the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Marry the women who are loving and fertile for verily I will compete with the rest of the Prophets in having the greatest number of the ummah.”
The woman should be loving and be willing to have many children. It is reported in a hadeeth on the types of women a man should look for that:
“A woman who prays her five daily prayers, fasts Ramadaan, guards her private parts, and is obedient to her husband, will be allowed to enter into any door of Jannah she wants.”
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) informed the women:
“O women, verily I saw the Hellfire and the majority of the inhabitants are women and the Jinn due to the Kufr they have. The kufr is ungratefulness in gratitude towards your husband.”
If the woman knew the rights of her husband over her she would not sit down until she had served him his mean and he had completed it.
On the other hand, the woman should also look for a man who will give her knowledge, religion, security, etc. A woman should marry the husband who is righteous, pious, and is upon Salafiyyah and the way of the Companions, so that she will know the duties she must fulfil and the path that she needs to follow.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Marriage is half of your religion, fear Allaah in the other half.”
If a woman has married a man who is not righteous it is upon her to call him to as-Siraatil Mustaqeem (the Straight Path) and guide him to the way of the Salaf.
Umm Sulaym was one of the female Companions who was an excellent example for us and the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said she was a woman of Jannah. When Aboo Talhah wanted to marry her she said to him that she didn’t want any dowry except for him to say, “There is no one worthy of worship except Allaah.” All she wanted was al-Islaam so Aboo Talhah took the dowry and became Muslim.
Her son was Anas ibn Maalik and after he was born she offered him to the Prophet as a servant so he could live in his house and learn from him and serve him. She wanted her son to be raised in the house of Prophethood.
At the time of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) the believing women would send their children to the Prophet and send them in the way of Allaah. We should be concerned for our children for the Hereafter and we should be concerned for them that they do not become fuel for the fires of Hell.
We should want our children to enter into Jannah and walk among its gardens. We should give our children this tarbiyyah instead of the glamour of this world.
The women and the men are both answerable for their children. Do not become deluded for what this world has to offer. We must read about the lives of the Companions and read about the Sunnah and the way of Salaf since this will become success for you.
The glamour and corruption of this world will only become fuel for the Fire. The true liberation is that you do not follow or give obedience except to Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) and whoever He has ordered us to obey.
We should want our women to be like the wives of the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and not like the women of the kuffar. We can only do this by knowing how these female Companions were and of the sacrifices they gave.
All that applies to the men also applies to the women since the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Women are nothing except the twin halves of men.”
Therefore, unless there is a specific text ordering a duty for the women or for the men, then there would be a difference. For example, the best prayer for the man is in the masjid where he will receive 25-27 times the reward of praying in his house. But for the woman, the best prayer is in her house.
We know that the best place for the woman is to remain inside her house. Faatimah (radiAllaahu anha) was asked by ‘Alee (radiAllaahu anhu): “What is the most beloved thing for Muslim women?” She replied: “Not to look at strange men and not to have strange men looking at me.”
If a woman needs to leave her house she seeks the permission of her husband since if she doesn’t the Shaytaan will beautify her outside of her house.
Women have specific rules and regulations that are specific for them to know about such as menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, marriage, etc. It is not permissible for them to remain ignorant about these issues.
‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anhu) said:
“How noble are the women of the ansaar for they do not allow their shyness to stop them from seeking the Religion.”
The women would come to the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and ask him about their affairs. For example, Umm Sulaym asked him about wet dreams for women. Allaah (subhanuhu wa ta’ala) is not shy in explaining and establishing the Religion so the women would come to the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and ask about these issues.
We are not shy in asking about and explaining any matters of the Religion such as sexual relations. ‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anha) reported that she and the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) used to make ghusl together from the same pot of water, and they would make the ghusl together.
Tableeghees, Hanafees, and also the Jews and the Christians turn sex into something disgusting and despicable when it is instead a pleasure of Jannah so it cannot be disgusting.
The Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) said:
“Whichever fluid is stronger determines whether the child will be a boy or a girl or if it will have the features of the man or the woman”
Everything mentioned has been done to protect society from fornication and corruption. That the husband and wife take pleasure in eachother is from the establishment of an Islaamic home. It is better that they take pleasure in eachother or else they will look to what is outside.
It is reported that a woman came to the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) and said that her husband spent many nights in worship so the he went into the street and told the men: “Your wife has rights over you. Go to her and don’t spend all the night in worship.”
Marriage controls the desires. It is upon the husband and the wife to know the rights of the other to establish an Islaamic home. If we act upon the regulations that Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) has ordered us with we will find that Allaah will make our path easy to Jannah, insha’Allaah.