Longing for redemption My company remains my wandering heart, As the candles burn a sombre glow. The night a thief that steals my time, As the tears from my eyes continue to flow. I talk to my heart in hope it'll respond, But silence, its response, empty in tone. I try again, as my hope slowly fades, My only company as hard as a stone. My thought wanders off in dreams of beyond, What awaits a man who is remorseful yet shattered? I question myself but I'm unable to answer, My heart is mute, confused and battered. Memories pass of my happiest days, I cling to their threads as they escape my grasp. My reach falls short of capturing them, Every time I try, I hold my breath and gasp. It's as though I have died a million deaths, Tired as I walk on a narrowing path. I stumble like a drunk upon its edges, A fool that longs amongst people who laugh. I ask myself, where is that happiness? Where is my life and what is this death? The beauty has faded, and the white now black, Again and again, I take my last breath. Unable to answer myself in the abode, That has defeated a man who was once defiant. How will I answer you, oh Merciful One, When my sins are staggering like a wandering giant? All the days that passed brought with them a chance, To redeem myself for my continuing crime. But enticed too easily by the comfort of sin, Denying that chance, time after time. I pushed You away when You brought me closer, And I dug my own grave when I strayed away. Yet still You remained to answer my cries, When others avoided coming my way. What do I do, oh Merciful One? I am lost as if in the deepest of oceans. Even after all I have pushed away, My heart still longs for the purest devotions. I wrote this my Lord on a lonely night, Except with Your knowledge, you guided my hand. I only hope that I am not lost forever, When in front of You, I am asked to stand. The only redemption I see in the night, Is to be honourable in action and overcome my strife. And I see tonight, like I always have, That the only way is to give you my life.