Longing for redemption
My company remains my wandering heart,
As the candles burn a sombre glow.
The night a thief that steals my time,
As the tears from my eyes continue to flow.
I talk to my heart in hope it'll respond,
But silence, its response, empty in tone.
I try again, as my hope slowly fades,
My only company as hard as a stone.
My thought wanders off in dreams of beyond,
What awaits a man who is remorseful yet shattered?
I question myself but I'm unable to answer,
My heart is mute, confused and battered.
Memories pass of my happiest days,
I cling to their threads as they escape my grasp.
My reach falls short of capturing them,
Every time I try, I hold my breath and gasp.
It's as though I have died a million deaths,
Tired as I walk on a narrowing path.
I stumble like a drunk upon its edges,
A fool that longs amongst people who laugh.
I ask myself, where is that happiness?
Where is my life and what is this death?
The beauty has faded, and the white now black,
Again and again, I take my last breath.
Unable to answer myself in the abode,
That has defeated a man who was once defiant.
How will I answer you, oh Merciful One,
When my sins are staggering like a wandering giant?
All the days that passed brought with them a chance,
To redeem myself for my continuing crime.
But enticed too easily by the comfort of sin,
Denying that chance, time after time.
I pushed You away when You brought me closer,
And I dug my own grave when I strayed away.
Yet still You remained to answer my cries,
When others avoided coming my way.
What do I do, oh Merciful One?
I am lost as if in the deepest of oceans.
Even after all I have pushed away,
My heart still longs for the purest devotions.
I wrote this my Lord on a lonely night,
Except with Your knowledge, you guided my hand.
I only hope that I am not lost forever,
When in front of You, I am asked to stand.
The only redemption I see in the night,
Is to be honourable in action and overcome my strife.
And I see tonight, like I always have,
That the only way is to give you my life.
My company remains my wandering heart,
As the candles burn a sombre glow.
The night a thief that steals my time,
As the tears from my eyes continue to flow.
I talk to my heart in hope it'll respond,
But silence, its response, empty in tone.
I try again, as my hope slowly fades,
My only company as hard as a stone.
My thought wanders off in dreams of beyond,
What awaits a man who is remorseful yet shattered?
I question myself but I'm unable to answer,
My heart is mute, confused and battered.
Memories pass of my happiest days,
I cling to their threads as they escape my grasp.
My reach falls short of capturing them,
Every time I try, I hold my breath and gasp.
It's as though I have died a million deaths,
Tired as I walk on a narrowing path.
I stumble like a drunk upon its edges,
A fool that longs amongst people who laugh.
I ask myself, where is that happiness?
Where is my life and what is this death?
The beauty has faded, and the white now black,
Again and again, I take my last breath.
Unable to answer myself in the abode,
That has defeated a man who was once defiant.
How will I answer you, oh Merciful One,
When my sins are staggering like a wandering giant?
All the days that passed brought with them a chance,
To redeem myself for my continuing crime.
But enticed too easily by the comfort of sin,
Denying that chance, time after time.
I pushed You away when You brought me closer,
And I dug my own grave when I strayed away.
Yet still You remained to answer my cries,
When others avoided coming my way.
What do I do, oh Merciful One?
I am lost as if in the deepest of oceans.
Even after all I have pushed away,
My heart still longs for the purest devotions.
I wrote this my Lord on a lonely night,
Except with Your knowledge, you guided my hand.
I only hope that I am not lost forever,
When in front of You, I am asked to stand.
The only redemption I see in the night,
Is to be honourable in action and overcome my strife.
And I see tonight, like I always have,
That the only way is to give you my life.
