Love marriage

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Annie, Oct 29, 2009.

  1. Annie
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    Annie New Member

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    salam to all the brothers and sisters

    i have a question which is
    Is love marriage allowed in Islam?
  2. revert2007
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    revert2007 Love Fishing

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    well Love is a pure feeling comes from Allah..all His living Vreation has love...

    but there is no scuh thing as love before marriage,no such thing as boyfriend girlfriend,and no such thinsg as dating,talking on the phone to ur lover ,and chatting...

    there might be affaction..affaction is different from love..love takes time to grow...

    if u like someone and u think he can be ur life partner..approach in halal way and get married..do not wait too long till u do all kind of zina(eyes,heart,tongue and of course private parts)

    so Love someone for the sake of Allah and get married.

    Example:Khadija (RA) like the prophet pbuh and she quickly proposed him in halal way and they got married...there is no such thing as bf/gf or dating...

    we might do watever we want here in dunya..but remember..we will return to lAllah to answer all His questions..
  3. um muhammad al-mahdi
    sunnah
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    um muhammad al-mahdi لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله Staff Member

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    :salam2:

    true masha'Allah, things done for the sake of Allah are always so special alhamdulillah!
  4. SwordofAllah16
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    SwordofAllah16 Heros of Islam

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    Wslm

    Just as revert 2007 love only for the sake of Allah, one thing i've realised is that you can't "love" anyone before marriage anyway, it's just infactuation and people think they're in love, Look into the examples of the sahaba and then you'll know what love is, love can only be for Allah and for Allah's sake to those whom Allah has made it halal to recieve such feelings. I'm not the best person to explain this to you, but i hope i helped a little, my advise is stay away from such thoughts beleive me you'd do better without'em

    wasalaamu 'alaikum
  5. Annie
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    Annie New Member

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    oh okaii so there is no such as love before marriage! thats cool

    wat about when your engaged to that person can you speak to him/her?
  6. Annie
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    Annie New Member

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    hmmm thats true in a way!
  7. revert2007
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    revert2007 Love Fishing

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    it is mentioned in islam that even if ur engaged it doesnt mean u can be alone with ur partner n u can do zina...if u wanna talk,it is better with the presence of mahram....just talk when it is necessary like planning ur wedding or doing the paperwork...but like "dating" on the phone or go out together..it is not allow
  8. SwordofAllah16
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    SwordofAllah16 Heros of Islam

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    no way all marriages are not love marriages, if that is true then to tell you the truth the marriages started off in a haram way. Let me explain...for someone to fall in love with someone they must know them, how they are, what they do, their personality, how they look...Allah says in the Qur'an "La takrabu zina" (DO NOT go NEAR zina) and RasoolAllah SAW said the zina of the eyes is to look, the zina of the ears is to hear and of the hands is to touch, therefore if anyone falls in love with someone before the marriage in those ways mentioned, (by getting to know them or knowing about them or speaking to them or even looking at them (unless the whole process is in progress)) then they've wronged in which inshaAllah those who have may Allah forgive them.
    This also answers another thing,,, there is no such process known as the engagement in Islam, before the marriage the bride and the groom get to know each other only when mahram are present and even then the sister is required to be covered but brothers are on this one occassion allowed to see them without hijaab (it's very complicated to explain now) please read up on the fiqh of marriage

    btw anyone who says they fell in love at first sight...may Allah SWT help them but once again zina of the eyes remember
  9. ahmed_indian
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    ahmed_indian to Allah we belong

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    if by love marriage we mean that looking at ur spouse-to-be, talking with him about likes/dislikes and discussing future issues (in presence of mahram) and thereby developing feelings.........its allowed in Islamic.

    but if by love marriage we mean having coffee @ starbucks, dating, hugging, flying kites on the terrace (just both of them)......then thats not allowed.

    :)
  10. weakslave
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    weakslave Junior Member

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    Islamically speaking, engaged doesn't really mean anything.

    You are either married (ie your nikah, your "marriage ceremony", has already taken place) or you are not.

    While you are not married, your future spouse is not your mahram, therefore he is a foreigner and should be treated as such. In other words, no flirting, going out, etc.

    Once you are married, then everything becomes lawful. Sometimes people get married, but they delay the wedding and the moving in together until its more convenient. Then they can chat their heads off :)
  11. Annie
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    Annie New Member

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    ok thank you that was really hekpful!
  12. safiya58
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    safiya58 Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    I´m sorry but i don´t agree with some of you...

    first of all we have to know what love means... love is a feeling appearing in our hearts/souls isn´t it...? it is not haram to have feelings.... it depents on what you do with your feelings...

    for example while fasting in ramadan you can feel hungry... it is a feeling and it is not haram to be hungry... but if you can not control your feeling of hunger and break your fast only then you comitted a sin but not with feeling hungry...

    same with love... you do not need to get to know someone very well to fall in love, if Allah wants you´ll feel it ...

    Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) Saying: souls are troops collected together and those who familiarized with each other (in the heaven from where these come) would have affinity, with one another (in the world) and those amongst them who opposed each other (in the Heaven) would also be divergent (in the world). (Book #032, Hadith #6376)

    In another narration:

    Abu Huraira narrated directly from Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) that he said: "The souls are troops collected together and those who had a mutual familiarity amongst themselves in the store of prenatal existence would have affinity amongst them, (in this world also) and those who opposed one of them, would be at variance with one another. (Book #032, Hadith #6377)

    :wasalam:
  13. SwordofAllah16
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    SwordofAllah16 Heros of Islam

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    :salam2:

    Alhamdullillah your point is very true you can't help feelings, but its also true that the Messenger of Allah SAW has provided us ways of avoiding.
    In any case, the definition that is given to love marriage in this age is totally haram no doubt.

    Love isn't the only reason why the sahaba's would marry alot of them used to stick with someone even if they never loved them, but they used to say that maybe the product of this relationship will be a righteous soul,
    ovbiously we're probably not at that level of maturity and commitment to this deen but we should try in everyway to share the attitudes and values of our ancestors

    forgive me if i've said anything wrong, it has come from me and the influence of shaytan if so.

    Wa:salam2:
  14. safiya58
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    safiya58 Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    I don´t know what u guys mean with "love mariage".... I think it all depents on how you define it.... but love is a word with deep meanings and I dislike it if it is used with a negativ association.....

    may love is not the only reason but it is still a reason why ppl get married... bec they love....

    :wasalam:
  15. a_muslimah86
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    a_muslimah86 Hubbi Li Rabbi Staff Member

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    If Allah is feared..and the nafs is disciplined with the desire to please Him (swt)...love can remain as the untarnished..pure..and beautiful sentiment that it's *created* to be...

    The stigmas *stapled* onto love come from the dark side of humanness..which exists in many people around us...

    If Allah is feared..love can exist..and if Allah's pleasure is placed before our eyes..then love marriages can exist...with neither possessing the slightest of ill..or haram for that matter in them..

    Annie my dear...to cast love into the margins of life is to cast away the buds of life from your heart and spirit...

    Put Allah's pleasure before all..and you can have it all..

    The equation is as simple as *that* :)

    :wasalam:
  16. SwordofAllah16
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    SwordofAllah16 Heros of Islam

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    :salam2:

    Wallahi when the sister posted this thread up i was actually thinking where is sister "a_muslimah86" at, something like this came up before i remember and you cleared things up so nicely mashaAllah...i'm really glad your still around sister i've lernt quiet alot from you thank you for clearing this up sister safeya i hope i haven't offended you with anything i said forgive me and ask Allah to forgive me for my sins please
    jazakAllahu Khayra
  17. umm hussain
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    umm hussain Junior Member

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    Question: What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged marriage?


    Answer: Praise be to Allaah.

    The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allaah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other.

    If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)

    Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:

    The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage. If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.”

    But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.

    ISLAM QA
  18. ahmed_indian
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    ahmed_indian to Allah we belong

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    its a good quote actually! :)
  19. Sacred_Thought
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    Sacred_Thought Junior Member

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    Convincing yourself to love someone ipso facto is hardly legit. Convincing yourself to dumb down your feelings for the person you have in your heart for someone you were forced into with an arranged marriage? There is this immense fear that you're going to piss off Allah by not doing this or that. It's contradictory to say that Allah is "The Merciful," and "The All Knowing" when the threat of hellfire is dangled over every last one of your heads at the same time. Doesn't Allah know best? If so, then follow your heart. If it's love, then it will be. If it's not love, then that's just one more trial that you will have to overcome. Allah knows best, don'cha know. :)
  20. alomarma
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    alomarma Junior Member

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    Dear Annie
    It is a very nice and common question, but before giving satisfactorily answer, I want you to believe that Islam is the religion of Fitra (means always comply with humanity spiritual default as it is created).
    If you know somebody that you think you like him so much. Keep your relationship neat, clean and without adulterant talks nor actions.
    The bellow might be useful suggestions:
    1. No secrecy between you and him from the both of your families (Parents)
    2. If you think wisely (no emotionally) that you will be safe with him. Accelerate engagement and proposal by the help of third party (close friend that you trust).
    3. Islam forbade intercourse except with wife (legal mirage).

    I hope the picture is clear to you

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