Making Marriage Easy

Discussion in 'Women, Family, and Marriage' started by Umm Aysha, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. Umm Aysha
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    Umm Aysha *Strive for Jannah*

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    Asalaamu'alaykum

    Making Marriage Easy


    Have a look at these beautiful ahaadeeth:

    Sahl Bin Sa'd (raa) reported that a woman once came to the Prophet (saw) and offered herself (in mariage) to him. He (saw) declined and indicated that he had no need for any aditional wives. A man who was present with him said, " O Allah's messenger! Marry her to me." The Prophet (saw) asked him, "Do you have anything (to give her)?" He said "No!" The Prophet (saw) said, "Give her atleast an iron ring". But he still could not afford it. He (saw) asked him " Do you memorize any portion of the Qu'ran?". He replied, "I memorise such-and-such surahs". The Prophet (saw) then said:

    "Go (have her as wife). I marry her to you for the portion of Qu'ran that you memorize"1

    One may ask, " what benefit did she get from his memorization of the Qu'ran?" The answer is that he would then be expected to teach her some of what he had memorized, and to treat her kindly based on what he had memorized. All of that would be of much more benefit to the bride than lots of material gifts. It is an act that will count towards Al-Akhira.



    Abu Hurayrah (raa) reported that the Messenger (saw) said:

    " A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons: wealth, social status, beauty, and din. So seek the one with din- may you then be successful."


    A'ishah (raa) reported that Allah's Messenger (saw) said:

    " Marriage is a sunnah (way) of mine; and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers. Get maried because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever has wealth should get married, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint (of desire) for him"3

    Ibn Abbas (raa) reported that a man came to the Prophet (saw) and said, "We have an orphan girl under our custody. A poor man and a rich man have both courted her. She prefers the poor man, but we prefer the rich man. (What should we do?)" The Prophet (saw) responded:

    "For those who like each other, nothing has proven as good as marriage"4


    How simple can life get? If you have found the right one, just do it. Don’t wait for eternity for them while saving up just to get her. This ahadeeth keeps marriages simple. Unfortunately, culture makes everyone’s life very hard. Even the hard working man will have to save so much money just to marry his lady.

    Simplicity is the best.

    Forget what others want, do what Allah wants and what our dear Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) practiced.



    I have selected some ahadeeth, which I felt are important to share with others.

    (raa) ra'iya lahu 'anhu.
    (saw) sala Allahu aleyhi wa salem.

    1.Reported by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.
    2. The Prophet said "May your hands be filled with dust" This expression was common during the Prophet's (saw) time, and it was not meant literally. It is an exclamation phrase reflecting encouragement or applause. Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.
    3. Recorded by Ibn Majah. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 2383).
    4. Recorded by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 624).


    If you would like more information please refere to :
    The Quest for love and mercy, Regulations for marriage and wedding in islaam, by Muhammad al-Jibaly
  2. Jihan
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    Jihan Junior Member

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    jazakAllah very good information!
  3. Appa BK
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    Appa BK Muslimah Light

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    As Salaam Mu Aleykum...

    Wonderful post :ma: now I know what to ask my future husband for mehr... to teach me to memerise the Quran Insh'Allah

    Ma'asalaama
  4. Amir_of_spain
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    Amir_of_spain Junior Member

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    Marriage

    Asalam wailkium
    I think that model which the sister described above through the hadiths only seems to be practised in villages and in poor countries. Living in the west, it would be considered crazy to approach the family of a muslima unless you had a high paided job, car and home. Suprise, suprise muslims make the lowest group in terms of employment. So no job, no money means no home or car, the guy's proposal is out of the window. May allah preserve us.
  5. Nazihah
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    Nazihah Be A Stranger

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    Assalamualaikum Sister Umm Aysha,

    Jazakallahu khair for sharing the beneficial post.

    The first thing that comes in mind when someone speaks about marriage is the wedding reception. They would like to have the best of wedding reception, a fancy one so everyone would enjoy and remember the day. The funny thing is they forgot what marriage is suppose to be. Instead of pleasing Allah s.w.t, they are more interested in pleasing their family, friends.
    I just hope that people would come to an understanding what marriage really is and the importance of doing it the correct way, the sunnah way, the way Allah s.w.t will be pleased with.
    May Allah s.w.t guide us to the straight path and may He bless our marriage.
  6. Jannah03
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    Jannah03 Junior Member

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    I wish muslim parents these days read this. Marriage is sunnah, it should be simple, and material wealth is nothing in the end. you can have all the Louis Vutton, Coach, Prada, and Gucci, but the love in the heart wouldn't even be there. just the money. (sigh) authobillah
  7. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    I am sorry, I am still hung up on him GIVING her to someone she did not ask to marry......but, that it's just my hang up....
  8. al-fajr
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    al-fajr ...ism..schism Staff Member

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    The story doesnt say that. Where? :confused:

    hmm i think thats just an assumption - a wrong one at that. Please be careful, in Islam, a woman cannot be forced to marry someone she doesnt want to marry, neither can anybody force marriage on any two persons.

    The man was consulting the Prophet (s) because he couldnt fulfill the dowry requirements.

    I think you missed this part of the original post:

    salam alaikum.
  9. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    Sahl Bin Sa'd (raa) reported that a woman once came to the Prophet (saw) and offered herself (in mariage) to him. He (saw) declined and indicated that he had no need for any aditional wives. A man who was present with him said, " O Allah's messenger! Marry her to me." The Prophet (saw) asked him, "Do you have anything (to give her)?" He said "No!" The Prophet (saw) said, "Give her atleast an iron ring". But he still could not afford it. He (saw) asked him " Do you memorize any portion of the Qu'ran?". He replied, "I memorise such-and-such surahs". The Prophet (saw) then said:

    "Go (have her as wife). I marry her to you for the portion of Qu'ran that you memorize"1
    ===========================================

    This is where I got that in the story....she came to marry the prophet(pbuh) and was then GIVEN to someone else......
  10. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    So I ask, where did he give her a choice.....
  11. justoneofmillion
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    justoneofmillion Junior Member

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    Assalam,Mashallah!:jumpclap::jumpclap::jumpclap::jumpclap::jumpclap::jumpclap:
    :jumpclap::
    Wassalam
    Jameel
  12. shaheeda35
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    shaheeda35 strive4Jannah

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    :salam2:
    Marriage is half of faith. A righteous husband is worth more than all the money in the world, because money comes and goes, but having taqwa of Allah will make him the richest man in the world. You marry for deen, and everything else will fall into place. The simple the better, as is the sunnah. :hijabi:
  13. danial
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    danial Junior Member

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    this would probably mean that she was trying to find some1 to marry at the first place. if the prophet asked the man to marry the woman, the woman could have said NO because she had the choice. but she probably didnt. so im guessing she prolly wanted to get married for the sake of wanting to have a family or some sort of stability? Not everyone marries for love.
  14. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    Not marrying for love, then why bother? I certainly would not marry a man that I had no love for, and to let him touch me.......NO WAY! Marriage should be out of love.......if not, remain chaste, don't marry.......I would rather have been an old spinster and never married than be in a loveless marriage. Marriage is hard enough when you DO love them......imagine not loving them.......there would be no reason to WORK on making a good marriage and this certainly would not be "making marriage easy"
  15. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum
    Thanks sister for this beautiful post
    Certailny marriage is not dowry and rich husband and the wedding party to please family and to impress people...
    Marriage is easy but people make it comlicated ...

    waaleikum salam
  16. danial
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    danial Junior Member

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    seriously, nt everyone marries for love ok. arranged marriages were frequent back then i think. the practise is still very alive today. out of sight does not mean out of mind.

    and in villages in asia or elsewhere, ppl still marry for the sake of starting a family. so your opinion of "marrying outta love" MAY NOT apply to many many many ppl.

    sorry if it seems like im offending you. i'm just trying to protect the prophet from being seen like a person hu can mistreat women by simply "giving" her away. After reading the quran u would realise that there are so many advantages of being a woman. women get many advantages men dont have.
  17. misalat
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    misalat Junior Member

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    dear sister,
    i think you still got it wrong ... when we read the Qur'an or Hadith, we need to refer to other parts that can give more details of the same ... if you just pick small portion/ part of an Ahadith, then you may be misunderstanding it. In this case what about the following Hadith

    (Ibn Abbas (raa) reported that a man came to the Prophet (saw) and said, "We have an orphan girl under our custody. A poor man and a rich man have both courted her. She prefers the poor man, but we prefer the rich man. (What should we do?)" The Prophet (saw) responded:

    "For those who like each other, nothing has proven as good as marriage"4)

    Might had be negotiated with the woman and all reached an agreement, but the narator of the the Hadith did not give more details of what actually had happened (the whole scene) ...

    Above is just my understanding, hoping that it may benefit and incase you feel otherwise, please do discuss with the learned people who will be in a possition to explain to you more inshaa Allah.

    wa salaam...

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