Money for Parents

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by Precious Star, Jan 16, 2014.

  1. Precious Star
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    If parents are elderly, but they have money (through a pension or money in the bank that they saved while the father was working), does the daughter still have to pay for their needs if they can afford it themselves?
    I don't have a lot of money, but my parents are now at a stage where they need help in the home. If I hire someone, do I have to pay for it or ask my parents to pay for it? I have brothers too but they are not very "generous" and my parents hate taking money from them.
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  2. Mabsoot
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    It is the duty of children to do their best in assisting their parents as illustrated in these beautiful ayaat.

    "And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."" [Qur'an 46:15]

    “…be good and dutiful to your parents…”[Qur'an 6:151]

    Taking care of parents is a duty for all the children equally, whether they are the daughter or the son, the eldest or the youngest. Sometimes, parents are not understanding or even fair to their offspring, nevertheless it is a duty to be kind to them, to the best of our ability.

    You can ask your parents if they need assistance in hiring help for the home, there is nothing wrong with making agreements with them, especially if they have the financial means for that.

    Hope my words are of some help in sha Allah, wasalam
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  3. sister herb
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    Salam alaykum

    My parents are Christians and they are much more rich than I am. My help to them is like going to shop for them, cooking (yes cooking!), cleaning home.

    Something extra they could buy but I can do.

    [​IMG]

    Caring your parents may not need money. :agreed:
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  4. Precious Star
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    I agree, we should treat our parents kindly and well, and be good to them -- daughters and sons.

    My question had to do with finances. I'm not talking about paying for groceries or going to their house and cleaning it for them or doing their laundry. Mimi talking about more extra ordinary expenses such as hiring a cleaning lady or even a nurse part-time if they need one, where they have the money but I don't. And the sons have the money. When my parents die, most of their money is going to go to their sons, so the sons shouldn't fear running out of money, whereas I don't have anyone to help me financially.
  5. mosabaig
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    AssalamOalakum

    Our din tells us to take care of our parents when they are old there is no better reward then this and its a test also for us imagine when we where young and they had all the money and strength. I suggest you take charge of helping them even you cannot pay for all money ask them and other member of the family but most important is cut down your other activities and consontrate on them, this might inspire other family members also but you do it for your self Allah will give you so much reward and for many generations to come.
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  6. sister herb
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    Salam alaykum

    Yes you can hire cleaning lady for them but what if you give them you time and clean by yourself? Make them coffee and give your time for a little chat.

    :hearts:

    This is what I do.

    And cookies - oh yes they have cookies made by home. :muslima1:
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  7. Precious Star
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    I do clean for them, but I also have a full time job, so it makes it difficult. I can't clean, cook, and do their laundry, drive them everywhere, etc everyday -- it is impossible for one person to do all that while also having a job. It seems in Islam the daughters have to do everything while the sons are encouraged to get married, have children, and spend time with their own families, but ever since my mother has been ill I, too, have become sick as well.
  8. sister herb
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    Salam alaykum

    You need to talk with your brothers about the situation. Remind them of needs of parents. The road to Jannah is under feet of mother - also to them.

    :rolleyes:
  9. Precious Star
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    My brothers don't want to do anything. They visit, but they don't actually do work for my parents. Same with their wives - they don't do anything to help. Its all on my shoulders.
  10. sister herb
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    Salam alaykum

    Can you talk with them to give money?

    I have quite similar situation like you (my older sister doesn´t care old parents at all but I care them).

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