Happy 2BA Muslim
Islamophilic
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلى خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ(القلم)
“And indeed you are of a great moral character” (Al-Qalam: 4)
Morality is an important aspect of Islam. High morals is considered the protecting fortress which Muslims seek security in, and the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam pointed to its importance when he said:
((بعثت لأتمم مكارم الأخلاق))
“I was sent to perfect honourable morals.” The Prophet (PBUH) was sent for the mercy of mankind, for the goodness of mankind, and for the guidance of mankind. The Almighty says what can be translated as,
((وما أرسلناك الا رحمة للعالمين))
“And We have sent you (O Muhammad): not but as a mercy for the ‘Âlamîn (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”. (TMQ, 21:107)
Islam emphasizes that we take care of our physical appearance by keeping it clean, properly covered, healthy and nourished with Halal food and drinks. In a similar way it tells us that we should take care of our character and behavior.
وَقَالَ أَبُو ذَرٍّ لَمَّا بَلَغَهُ مَبْعَثُ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لِأَخِيهِ ارْكَبْ إِلَى هَذَا الْوَادِي فَاسْمَعْ مِنْ قَوْلِهِ فَرَجَعَ فَقَالَ رَأَيْتُهُ يَأْمُرُ بِمَكَارِمِ الْأَخْلَاقِ (البخاري)
And Abu Dharr said that when he heard about the coming of the Prophet -peace be upon him- he said to his brother, ‘Go to this valley and hear his words.’ He returned and said to him, ‘I saw him commanding people about the noblest morals and manners.’ (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was sent by Allah to teach the humanity the noblest morals (makarim al-akhlaq).
There are many Ahadith that indicate the high place of morals and manners in Islam. The good morals and manners should be observed in one’s personal life as well as in one’s relations with others.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْإِيمَانُ بِضْعٌ وَسَبْعُونَ أَوْ بِضْعٌ وَسِتُّونَ شُعْبَةً فَأَفْضَلُهَا قَوْلُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَأَدْنَاهَا إِمَاطَةُ الْأَذَى عَنْ الطَّرِيقِ وَالْحَيَاءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنْ الْإِيمَانِ (مسلم)
“Faith has over seventy branches or over sixty branches, the most excellent
of which is the declaration that there is no god but Allah, and the humblest of which is the, removal of what is injurious (harmful) from the road; and modesty is a branch of faith (7)” (Muslim 51)
Thus, removing harm from the road is one of the branches of faith. What is your opinion of a person who opens the window of his car and throws the remainder of his food in the street? Or of someone who throws chewing gum from their mouth into the street? Do you believe that by doing so you have lost a branch of your faith? Actually, you have. You are required to remove harm from the road. This will be proof of your faith. What do you think of a person who does the opposite? We want to retrieve and instill the relation between faith and manners. Consequently, when you are doing a moral mistake, you are committing a sin.
These issues are not small; they are very important. No macro change can come without the micro change. Bad manners have sometimes drastic social effects.
We observe good morals and manners to obey Allah and His Messenger. This is part of our faith. Our faith leads to good morals and manners and they in their turn reinforce our faith.
Unfortunately, some Muslims make a great separation between manners and Ibadat (acts of worship), and between religion and life. Inside the mosque, one is straight, women are wearing the appropriate Hijab, you are praying full-heartedly. However, outside the mosque, you are different. Where are manners then? You will reply, “as long as Ibadat are regularly performed, manners have no importance!”
Some think that life is an issue, and religion and performing Ibadat are another. Brothers and sisters, this is an incorrect concept. This separation has nothing to do with Islam. Islam is one unit. Islam is an integral whole. Hence, this grave separation results in two kinds of people:
1. The first is an ‘ill-mannered but good worshipper’ kind of person.
2. The second is a ‘good-mannered but bad worshipper’ kind of person.
They are two deformed models that have nothing to do with Islam.
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
يقول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم :- والله لا يؤمن والله لا يؤمن والله لا يؤمن ، قيل من يا رسول الله ، قال : من لا يأمن جاره بوائقه "
“By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah he does not believe!” It was said, “Who is that, O, Allah’s Apostle?” He said, “That person whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil.”(5) Notice to what extent faith is related to manners.
Indeed, faith and manners form one unit. They are an integral whole.
Some people came to the Prophet (PBUH) and told him that a certain woman was well-known for her praying, fasting, and giving much Sadaqat but she was harming her neighbor. He said, “She is in the hellfire”. Imagine! It is said that she was well known for her praying, fasting, and giving much Sadaqat. However, he said, “She is in the hellfire”. Then, it was said to the Prophet (PBUH) that another woman was well known for her little amount of praying, fasting, and giving too little Sadaqat but she was not harming her neighbors. He said, “She is in paradise”.
By the way, this is not an invitation to decrease prayer. We do not want to improve one thing at the expense of another. We want discipline in both matters. We want a balance.
Another Hadith of the Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إن شر الناس منزلة يوم القيامة من يتركه الناس اتقاء شره "
“The worst people are those whom people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.”(6).
Imagine a father who warns his son not to play with the son of a neighbor, in case his mother would make a scandal, and create unnecessary problems. Ironically, this mother might wear the appropriate hijab. What is the value of this hijab if people are avoiding you to protect themselves from your evil?
On the other hand, we should also keep in mind the best da’wah is to live among people with good morals and manners. Before listening to our message people see us and our behavior. Non-Muslims sometimes say when they see the bad example of Muslims, “If your religion has not made you a good person, how can it be a good religion for us.” We have a big responsibility and we must take our actions seriously.
If we carefully study the verses of the holy Qur’an, we will discover an amazing matter. Whenever Allah talks about the characteristics of believers, we will find that the moral characteristics always come with it.
For example, Allah says what can be translated as,
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ(1)الَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ(2)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنْ اللَّغْوِ مُعْرِضُونَ(3)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَاةِ فَاعِلُونَ(4)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ(5)إِلَّا عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ(6)فَمَنْ ابْتَغَى وَرَاءَ ذَلِكَ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمْ الْعَادُونَ(7)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِأَمَانَاتِهِمْ وَعَهْدِهِمْ رَاعُونَ(8)
“Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their Salât (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness. And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allâh has forbidden). And those who pay the Zakât. And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, - for then, they are free from blame; But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; 8. Those who are faithfully true to their Amanât (all the duties which Allâh has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trusts) and to their covenants;” (TMQ, 23:1-7).
Do you see the characteristics of believers? They have both manners and worship.
Allah says what can be translated as,
" وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَانِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمْ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا(63)" -(خُلُق)- "وَالَّذِينَ يَبِيتُونَ لِرَبِّهِمْ سُجَّدًا وَقِيَامًا (64) "-( عبادة )-"وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اصْرِفْ عَنَّا عَذَابَ جَهَنَّمَ إِنَّ عَذَابَهَا كَانَ غَرَامًا(65)" "إِنَّهَا سَاءَتْ مُسْتَقَرًّا وَمُقَامًا(66)" -( عبادة )- "وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُوا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَلِكَ قَوَامًا(67)"
“And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allâh) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. And those who spend the night in worship of their Lord, prostrate and standing. And those who say: “Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment.” Evil indeed it (Hell) is as an abode and as a place to rest in. And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes).” (TMQ, 25:63-67).
You will be greatly surprised when you know the benefits of good manners and behaviors. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ مَا مِنْ شَيْءٍ يُوضَعُ فِي الْمِيزَانِ أَثْقَلُ مِنْ حُسْنِ الْخُلُقِ وَإِنَّ صَاحِبَ حُسْنِ الْخُلُقِ لَيَبْلُغُ بِهِ دَرَجَةَ صَاحِبِ الصَّوْمِ وَالصَّلَاةِ (الترمذي)
“Nothing is heavier in a slave’s balance on the day of judgment, than good manners”(10). The most important thing on the Day of Judgment is not just prayers but good manners. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إن أحسن الناس إسلاماً أحسنهم خلقاً "
“The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character”(11) and he also said,
" أكمل المؤمنين إيماناً أحسنهم خلقاً "
“Those with the best manners are those with the most complete faith”(12).
Look closely at the words: do you see those whose belief is “heaviest, best and most complete”? The one who has the most complete faith is the one with the best manners, even if his rituals and religious knowledge still need to be worked on. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إن أقربكم مني مجلساً يوم القيامة أحاسنكم خلقاً "
“The nearest to me in heaven are those with the best manners.”(13) He also said,
" أكثر ما يدخل الناس الجنة تقوى الله وحسن الخلق "
“The thing that leads people to heaven is fear of Allah and good manners.”(14)
جاء وفد لنبي الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : " وسألوا النبي : من أحب عباد الله إلى الله ؟ قال : أحسنهم خلقاً "
A delegation came to see the Prophet (PBUH) and asked him, “Who are the dearest to Allah?” and he said, “Those with the best manners.”
Do you see how important it is to have good manners? If you fail to see this then you are heading in the wrong direction.
You want to study the Qur’an, and the sciences of religion; well this is all very important, but how are your manners?
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" ألا أخبركم بأحبكم إليّ : قالوا بلى يا رسول الله ، ألا أخبركم بأحبكم إليّ : قالوا بلى يا رسول الله ألا أخبركم بأحبكم إليّ : قالوا بلى يا رسول الله : قال أحسنكم خلقاً "
“Would you like to know who I love most among you?” and his companions said, “Aye prophet of Allah.” and he answered, “Those with the best manners”(15). He also said,
" إن المؤمن ليدرك بحسن خلقه درجة الصائم القائم "
“The faithful believer reaches the rank of a Muslim who fasts and prays day and night, with his good manners.”(16) Therefore, His supplication,
" اللهم اهدني بأحسن الأخلاق لا يهدي لأحسنها إلا أنت "
“O Allah guide me to the best of manners for only You can guide me to them”(17).
When the Prophet looked at himself in the mirror he used to say,
" اللهم كما حسنت خَلقي فأحسن خُلُقي "
“O Allah as you have perfected my face make my manners as perfect”.(18) He was that persistent. Do you follow his tradition (his way and method of life) and say the same supplication? No, when you look in the mirror and see how handsome you are, you tell yourself that no one is more handsome or smarter than you are.
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
– أي ضامن – “أنا زعيم ببيت في أعلى الجنة لمن حسن خلقه"
“I guarantee an abode (house) at the highest point in heaven to those with good manners”.(19) Can you imagine? The Prophet himself guarantees you a place in heaven; wouldn’t you look for the means to achieve this goal?
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إنكم لن تسعوا الناس بأموالكم ، فسعوهم ببسطة الوجه وحسن الخلق"
“You will never be able to contain people with either your houses or your money, so contain them with smiling faces and good manners”.(20)
Do you want people to love you? Greet them with a smile and improve your manners.
I would like to ask you a question: is it possible to change our manners? Can the selfish become generous or is it impossible? Are we genetically forced to be one and not the other? Could an impatient person become patient? Can a girl who is very blunt and loud become a shy reserved person? In short, is change possible?
The Prophet (PBUH) taught us that,
" إنما العلم بالتعلم ، وإنما الحلم بالتحلّم ، وإنما الصبر بالتصبّر "
“Knowledge means taking it upon one’s self to learn, meekness (showing patience and humility) means taking it upon one’s self to be meek and patience means taking it upon one’s self be patient”.(21)
The Prophet wants to teach us that it is possible to change one’s manners. We should never think that we are not capable of change. Many people have changed tremendously after becoming more religious. People often wonder how a person became so calm after being unbearable in the past.
The answer is simple: this person chose the latter Hadith to act upon.
Therefore, it is possible to change one’s nature.
“And indeed you are of a great moral character” (Al-Qalam: 4)
Morality is an important aspect of Islam. High morals is considered the protecting fortress which Muslims seek security in, and the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam pointed to its importance when he said:
((بعثت لأتمم مكارم الأخلاق))
“I was sent to perfect honourable morals.” The Prophet (PBUH) was sent for the mercy of mankind, for the goodness of mankind, and for the guidance of mankind. The Almighty says what can be translated as,
((وما أرسلناك الا رحمة للعالمين))
“And We have sent you (O Muhammad): not but as a mercy for the ‘Âlamîn (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”. (TMQ, 21:107)
Islam emphasizes that we take care of our physical appearance by keeping it clean, properly covered, healthy and nourished with Halal food and drinks. In a similar way it tells us that we should take care of our character and behavior.
وَقَالَ أَبُو ذَرٍّ لَمَّا بَلَغَهُ مَبْعَثُ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لِأَخِيهِ ارْكَبْ إِلَى هَذَا الْوَادِي فَاسْمَعْ مِنْ قَوْلِهِ فَرَجَعَ فَقَالَ رَأَيْتُهُ يَأْمُرُ بِمَكَارِمِ الْأَخْلَاقِ (البخاري)
And Abu Dharr said that when he heard about the coming of the Prophet -peace be upon him- he said to his brother, ‘Go to this valley and hear his words.’ He returned and said to him, ‘I saw him commanding people about the noblest morals and manners.’ (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was sent by Allah to teach the humanity the noblest morals (makarim al-akhlaq).
There are many Ahadith that indicate the high place of morals and manners in Islam. The good morals and manners should be observed in one’s personal life as well as in one’s relations with others.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْإِيمَانُ بِضْعٌ وَسَبْعُونَ أَوْ بِضْعٌ وَسِتُّونَ شُعْبَةً فَأَفْضَلُهَا قَوْلُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَأَدْنَاهَا إِمَاطَةُ الْأَذَى عَنْ الطَّرِيقِ وَالْحَيَاءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنْ الْإِيمَانِ (مسلم)
“Faith has over seventy branches or over sixty branches, the most excellent
of which is the declaration that there is no god but Allah, and the humblest of which is the, removal of what is injurious (harmful) from the road; and modesty is a branch of faith (7)” (Muslim 51)
Thus, removing harm from the road is one of the branches of faith. What is your opinion of a person who opens the window of his car and throws the remainder of his food in the street? Or of someone who throws chewing gum from their mouth into the street? Do you believe that by doing so you have lost a branch of your faith? Actually, you have. You are required to remove harm from the road. This will be proof of your faith. What do you think of a person who does the opposite? We want to retrieve and instill the relation between faith and manners. Consequently, when you are doing a moral mistake, you are committing a sin.
These issues are not small; they are very important. No macro change can come without the micro change. Bad manners have sometimes drastic social effects.
We observe good morals and manners to obey Allah and His Messenger. This is part of our faith. Our faith leads to good morals and manners and they in their turn reinforce our faith.
Unfortunately, some Muslims make a great separation between manners and Ibadat (acts of worship), and between religion and life. Inside the mosque, one is straight, women are wearing the appropriate Hijab, you are praying full-heartedly. However, outside the mosque, you are different. Where are manners then? You will reply, “as long as Ibadat are regularly performed, manners have no importance!”
Some think that life is an issue, and religion and performing Ibadat are another. Brothers and sisters, this is an incorrect concept. This separation has nothing to do with Islam. Islam is one unit. Islam is an integral whole. Hence, this grave separation results in two kinds of people:
1. The first is an ‘ill-mannered but good worshipper’ kind of person.
2. The second is a ‘good-mannered but bad worshipper’ kind of person.
They are two deformed models that have nothing to do with Islam.
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
يقول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم :- والله لا يؤمن والله لا يؤمن والله لا يؤمن ، قيل من يا رسول الله ، قال : من لا يأمن جاره بوائقه "
“By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah he does not believe!” It was said, “Who is that, O, Allah’s Apostle?” He said, “That person whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil.”(5) Notice to what extent faith is related to manners.
Indeed, faith and manners form one unit. They are an integral whole.
Some people came to the Prophet (PBUH) and told him that a certain woman was well-known for her praying, fasting, and giving much Sadaqat but she was harming her neighbor. He said, “She is in the hellfire”. Imagine! It is said that she was well known for her praying, fasting, and giving much Sadaqat. However, he said, “She is in the hellfire”. Then, it was said to the Prophet (PBUH) that another woman was well known for her little amount of praying, fasting, and giving too little Sadaqat but she was not harming her neighbors. He said, “She is in paradise”.
By the way, this is not an invitation to decrease prayer. We do not want to improve one thing at the expense of another. We want discipline in both matters. We want a balance.
Another Hadith of the Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إن شر الناس منزلة يوم القيامة من يتركه الناس اتقاء شره "
“The worst people are those whom people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.”(6).
Imagine a father who warns his son not to play with the son of a neighbor, in case his mother would make a scandal, and create unnecessary problems. Ironically, this mother might wear the appropriate hijab. What is the value of this hijab if people are avoiding you to protect themselves from your evil?
On the other hand, we should also keep in mind the best da’wah is to live among people with good morals and manners. Before listening to our message people see us and our behavior. Non-Muslims sometimes say when they see the bad example of Muslims, “If your religion has not made you a good person, how can it be a good religion for us.” We have a big responsibility and we must take our actions seriously.
If we carefully study the verses of the holy Qur’an, we will discover an amazing matter. Whenever Allah talks about the characteristics of believers, we will find that the moral characteristics always come with it.
For example, Allah says what can be translated as,
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ(1)الَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ(2)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنْ اللَّغْوِ مُعْرِضُونَ(3)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَاةِ فَاعِلُونَ(4)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ(5)إِلَّا عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ(6)فَمَنْ ابْتَغَى وَرَاءَ ذَلِكَ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمْ الْعَادُونَ(7)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِأَمَانَاتِهِمْ وَعَهْدِهِمْ رَاعُونَ(8)
“Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their Salât (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness. And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allâh has forbidden). And those who pay the Zakât. And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, - for then, they are free from blame; But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; 8. Those who are faithfully true to their Amanât (all the duties which Allâh has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trusts) and to their covenants;” (TMQ, 23:1-7).
Do you see the characteristics of believers? They have both manners and worship.
Allah says what can be translated as,
" وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَانِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمْ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا(63)" -(خُلُق)- "وَالَّذِينَ يَبِيتُونَ لِرَبِّهِمْ سُجَّدًا وَقِيَامًا (64) "-( عبادة )-"وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اصْرِفْ عَنَّا عَذَابَ جَهَنَّمَ إِنَّ عَذَابَهَا كَانَ غَرَامًا(65)" "إِنَّهَا سَاءَتْ مُسْتَقَرًّا وَمُقَامًا(66)" -( عبادة )- "وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُوا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَلِكَ قَوَامًا(67)"
“And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allâh) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. And those who spend the night in worship of their Lord, prostrate and standing. And those who say: “Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment.” Evil indeed it (Hell) is as an abode and as a place to rest in. And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes).” (TMQ, 25:63-67).
You will be greatly surprised when you know the benefits of good manners and behaviors. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ مَا مِنْ شَيْءٍ يُوضَعُ فِي الْمِيزَانِ أَثْقَلُ مِنْ حُسْنِ الْخُلُقِ وَإِنَّ صَاحِبَ حُسْنِ الْخُلُقِ لَيَبْلُغُ بِهِ دَرَجَةَ صَاحِبِ الصَّوْمِ وَالصَّلَاةِ (الترمذي)
“Nothing is heavier in a slave’s balance on the day of judgment, than good manners”(10). The most important thing on the Day of Judgment is not just prayers but good manners. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إن أحسن الناس إسلاماً أحسنهم خلقاً "
“The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character”(11) and he also said,
" أكمل المؤمنين إيماناً أحسنهم خلقاً "
“Those with the best manners are those with the most complete faith”(12).
Look closely at the words: do you see those whose belief is “heaviest, best and most complete”? The one who has the most complete faith is the one with the best manners, even if his rituals and religious knowledge still need to be worked on. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إن أقربكم مني مجلساً يوم القيامة أحاسنكم خلقاً "
“The nearest to me in heaven are those with the best manners.”(13) He also said,
" أكثر ما يدخل الناس الجنة تقوى الله وحسن الخلق "
“The thing that leads people to heaven is fear of Allah and good manners.”(14)
جاء وفد لنبي الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : " وسألوا النبي : من أحب عباد الله إلى الله ؟ قال : أحسنهم خلقاً "
A delegation came to see the Prophet (PBUH) and asked him, “Who are the dearest to Allah?” and he said, “Those with the best manners.”
Do you see how important it is to have good manners? If you fail to see this then you are heading in the wrong direction.
You want to study the Qur’an, and the sciences of religion; well this is all very important, but how are your manners?
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" ألا أخبركم بأحبكم إليّ : قالوا بلى يا رسول الله ، ألا أخبركم بأحبكم إليّ : قالوا بلى يا رسول الله ألا أخبركم بأحبكم إليّ : قالوا بلى يا رسول الله : قال أحسنكم خلقاً "
“Would you like to know who I love most among you?” and his companions said, “Aye prophet of Allah.” and he answered, “Those with the best manners”(15). He also said,
" إن المؤمن ليدرك بحسن خلقه درجة الصائم القائم "
“The faithful believer reaches the rank of a Muslim who fasts and prays day and night, with his good manners.”(16) Therefore, His supplication,
" اللهم اهدني بأحسن الأخلاق لا يهدي لأحسنها إلا أنت "
“O Allah guide me to the best of manners for only You can guide me to them”(17).
When the Prophet looked at himself in the mirror he used to say,
" اللهم كما حسنت خَلقي فأحسن خُلُقي "
“O Allah as you have perfected my face make my manners as perfect”.(18) He was that persistent. Do you follow his tradition (his way and method of life) and say the same supplication? No, when you look in the mirror and see how handsome you are, you tell yourself that no one is more handsome or smarter than you are.
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
– أي ضامن – “أنا زعيم ببيت في أعلى الجنة لمن حسن خلقه"
“I guarantee an abode (house) at the highest point in heaven to those with good manners”.(19) Can you imagine? The Prophet himself guarantees you a place in heaven; wouldn’t you look for the means to achieve this goal?
The Prophet (PBUH) said,
" إنكم لن تسعوا الناس بأموالكم ، فسعوهم ببسطة الوجه وحسن الخلق"
“You will never be able to contain people with either your houses or your money, so contain them with smiling faces and good manners”.(20)
Do you want people to love you? Greet them with a smile and improve your manners.
I would like to ask you a question: is it possible to change our manners? Can the selfish become generous or is it impossible? Are we genetically forced to be one and not the other? Could an impatient person become patient? Can a girl who is very blunt and loud become a shy reserved person? In short, is change possible?
The Prophet (PBUH) taught us that,
" إنما العلم بالتعلم ، وإنما الحلم بالتحلّم ، وإنما الصبر بالتصبّر "
“Knowledge means taking it upon one’s self to learn, meekness (showing patience and humility) means taking it upon one’s self to be meek and patience means taking it upon one’s self be patient”.(21)
The Prophet wants to teach us that it is possible to change one’s manners. We should never think that we are not capable of change. Many people have changed tremendously after becoming more religious. People often wonder how a person became so calm after being unbearable in the past.
The answer is simple: this person chose the latter Hadith to act upon.
Therefore, it is possible to change one’s nature.