Some Muslims go all out ridiculing, mocking and "hating" on non-Muslim people for doing Christmas and New Years or other days that have no basis in Islam. This does leave non-Muslims and Muslims feeling alienated or confused. Some might even think Muslims are being disrespectful and uncooperative, which is further from the truth. This answer will hopefully clarify a few things.
Secular or Religious?
New years day can be seen both in a secular non-religious way and from a religious perspective. The Gregorian Calendar is also known as the Christian calendar, and is based on what is supposedly the date of Jesus Christ's death. Although this is in no way verifiable and is in fact historically untrue. So when someone says today is 2014, it means 2014 years since the death of Christ. This is the religious connotation to the date.
Muslims on the other hand have the hijri calendar. The year is 1435, that is the amount of years since the Prophet Muhammad S emigrated to the city of Madinah.
Why is celebrating new years such a bad thing?
For religious Muslims, the celebrations and how they interact, the reasons behind it will vary.
"Copying disbelievers"? Or not?
Having lived in Madinah, I remember Easter, Christmas and the New year simply gliding by without any hint, mention or realisation from anyone that those days even existed. It will be odd for a Muslim who lives say in Madinah, Saudi Arabia where they use the Islamic Hijri dates to celebrate Christmas or the Christian new year. Either they do so because they actually believe in this celebration or they do it because they think it is "cool" to do so, they just want to copy. People often copy those they hold to be of greater esteem, honour or even superiority than themselves.
Say: "Behold, my prayer, and (all] my acts of worship, and my living and my dying are for God [alone], the Sustainer of all the worlds.
No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of the Muslims." Quran 6:162-163 Surah al-an'am
A general rule is that a Muslim safeguards his or her religious identity by not taking part in any other religion's celebratory day. This is because all actions are meaningful in Islam, and to truly believe and submit to Allah means that a person wants to abide by the Quranic teachings. Underneath all the celebratory practises of other religions, the beliefs of worshipping other than Allah (Shirk), still exist. The next point will address that:
Why is celebrating Christmas or New Years Shirk? (Associating partners with Allah)
In another aspect, people forsake the superiority and honour that Allah deserves by "celebrating" days that promote things that in Islam would be blasphemous:
- Allah has a son
- Salvation can only be obtained through Jesus dying on the cross and believing in that,
- The belief in the trinity,
- The divinity of Jesus
- The whole pagan roots to the practises in Christmas and even New Years Day.
If we do not believe in those things, then why should we join in with others and have "fun" celebrating those beliefs? Not only does it make no sense, it also diminishes the respect we give to ourselves and more importantly our connection to Allah. Our connection with Allah should be one of love, and part of love is being proud of and honouring the loved one. What is more honourable than worshipping Allah alone and disliking that any partners be made unto Him?
It doesn't involve anything haram such as dancing or alcohol.
What if my family is not Muslim? Should I forsake them?
All people have different set of circumstances. Some of us come from Muslim families, Christmas, New Year and other events pass us by without much problem. Others are still with there non-Muslim families. A reverted Muslim has to put their Islam first, but also be wise with how they interact and behave with their family. Some reverts can persuade their families that they don't want to be there on those days or to take part in the celebrations and they explain the reasons why. This is fine, if they can do so that is great.
"My family and I would always just get together and share some snacks, talk about our past year and enjoy time together."
Ma sha Allah, that is really nice. Visiting family and maintaining good relations is part of Islam, so as long as they are not asking you to do something detrimental to your faith (eating pork, drinking alcohol, praying together) you should keep visiting and remember that there is nothing wrong with having "halal fun". It is typical for family get togethers to happen around Christmas / New Years time, uncles, aunts, nephews and nieces visit. Sometimes you may not see them for many months, so as long as you assert yourself as a Muslim, and not allow any pressure for you to do any haram, then it will be a good influence on them in sha Allah. Depending on the closeness you have to your family, it will also be easier on you.
By the way, it can also involve a lot of dancing and alcohol. I understand that it varies from family to family and also where people choose to party. A lot of young people go to the town centres, pubs and clubs to do the countdown and party with booze right through the night. Suffice to say Muslims are taught to keep away from such places where they are surrounded by such haram acts.