Salaam all, I have been married 10 years. For the first few years, my marriage was great. However, after a few years and the birth of our child, my wife does not do anything 'wifely'. Let me elaborate. This may get long, but there is no other way to explain. I would like feedback from sisters and brothers. She is a house wife. I understand she is busy with the child and kids can be demanding. However, fast forward 9 years, and there is no improvement. Tell me if I am being unfair or reasonable. I know my wife loves me, that isn't the question. My issue is with how lazy she is. She has no grooming habits. She has never been to a salon. She has gained a ton of weight (50+lbs) since we married and it is only getting worse as obesity runs in her family. She never wears heels, makeup, lingerie, combs/curls/straighten her hair or anything. When she does, it is a 5min put lipstick dress up just for me and it shows clearly how much time she spent. Her hairstyle, outfits, shoes have all been the same for 10years. No improvements in her since nikah. I have been making all improvements in myself, praying 5 times daily, eating right, exercise, leaving my corrupt friends, spending time home, etc. Her body is 110% neglected, from feet to hear head. I have basically begged her to groom herself, just how I groom myself and I work out and dress properly. She loves food and exercise is not in her blood line. That is a bad combination. To top it off, she does not cook. I have asked her countless times to cook some nice meals and wear nice clothes, but nothing works. My mother cooks mostly for us. I told my wife I would worship her (not literal) if she just did ANYTHING that a wife would do. I offered to take her to Hawaii, Australia, and give her the world if she just changes, but I get nothing. Anytime the azaan goes off and we need to pray, I go right away to pray. She counts how many hours she has till the next azaan before she prays. She also will miss many prayers. Many times she will sit and pray because her knees hurt from the weight- but she just will not lose the weight. We have tried many diets for so many years, she just has no will power. Even 1 pound a month if she lost, in a few years her goal is reached. I feel she is hopeless. I tried not speaking to her, but a week goes by, she begs me to talk and vows she will change. It is going on for 8yrs now! I rather have a wife who cheats on me than to live this way daily. She also sleeps in our child's room since birth and I sleep alone in our room. We really do nothing as a couple. We watch movies at times, but overall, it just is not a healthy relation. We do not eat any meals together. On weekends, if we ever go out, she will wear the same outfits EVERY weekend that she wore for 8 years. I told her to buy new clothes, buy whatever, but due to her weight, nothing fits her, so as a result, she never dresses up. I pre-paid for her salon service in 2012- that coupon is STILL not used and it is 2014! She gets jealous of pretty girls she sees, but she totally refuses to change herself. She dresses like an old woman, wears flat shoes, same hijab for a decade, i mean NOTHING different. So to summarize, no cooking, bare minimum cleaning, no grooming habits, no new outfits, nothing, zip, zilch, zero.... what do i do!? I mean if she cooked and did other things, I can overlook beauty, or if she gave beauty, i can overlook cooking. But she does NOTHING as a wife! I also told her to get a nice job if she cannot do anything else as a wife, but even that she cannot do. If I was a non-Muslim, I think I would drink my problems away, but I cannot do that.