need advise.....

fatima1994

ƒ3!RY $p!r!T
:salam2:
Alhamdulilah sisters and brothers here on tti give good advise alhamdulilah:D
Well here goes, one of my very good friends has been acting weird for the past month. Before that she used to be the "class clown" very cheerful all the time type. But nowadays she changed i mean not even me and my other friends notice it even the teachers and other class fellows are asking her whats the matter. She's usully deep in thought and otherwise is very very angry at me and other close friends. I try to cheer her up and she's ok for a few moments. Oh and forgot to add her mother died back when she was in 8th grade(shes my age group so nw in 10th) But even that shock didnt much shake her i mean after her mom's death she didnt really show it much and was back to the "cheerful" person. I many times told her ur hiding feelings dont bottle 'em up or one day u'll explode she'd say ur rite fatima and then jus laugh it off. But nowadays she says she just HATES everybody. She told me "fatima i hate everything now! i cant concentrate on anything! And i dont like eating anything and when im eating something i just eat mere half of it. I feel so depressed and ...." that goes on and on....
Well i told her to recite quran and pray regularly to Allah(swt) and do something that keeps her mind busy and as i say this she suddenly says (we were talkin thru msn) "i have to go...look ur my frnd but still im not in mood to talk to anybody not anyone!" i felt how she was feeling so told her im there for u mate. Then she goes offline......And nowadays she's become VERY moody......

Jazakallah khair for ur time....any advise?


walikumsalam.
 

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
:salam2:

I am *really* tempted to recommend that in addition to listening to the Qura'an..praying..and making dua'a..that she visits a doctor to speak to her about her psychological well-being...but I see that you live in Pakistan (?)...and since I'm from an Eastern country and know how stigmatic visiting a doctor for this purpose is in Eastern societies...I'm going to give the recommendation the backseat (unless your friend disregards that stigma..and is willing to visit a professional..which would be *ideal*)

Should visiting a doctor be in fact difficult *for any reason* (not just the one I mentioned)...

I think it's best that you seek an adult..preferably one who is close to the young gal's father (if she's in his care) or to her guardian (whoever it may be)...and speak to them in regards to the well-being of the gal..and ask that they subtly try to figure out what's going on...sobhanallah...people function differently...perhaps her mother's death didn't cause an impact on her..but something less unfortunate such as not progressing academically is making her feel that way...

The key is to have someone from *her domestic* domain (i.e. family)..speak to her...*subtly* and *gently*...by asking questions..and getting her to vent..maybe a problem will pin-pointed and a solution will be found..and if they have already seen a negative change in her but have been putting it aside mentally...then someone *else* speaking to them about it might make them sense an *urgency* in figuring out what's wrong with her (that's if they won't know *already*..but didn't think much of it)

That's the best thing you can do for her..which you should do asap..because if she needs counseling or assessments and treatments by a professional then it's best that her condition be reviewed as soon as possible...but inshallah she won't need to go that far...inshallah it's something that can be solved within her home!

Ask everyone to make dua'a for her in her absence..and without her knowledge because dua'as in secret are guaranteed an answer (per a hadith)..and be patient with her..perhaps there is an ajer for all of you in helping her out *just* by being there for her :)

:wasalam:
 

fatima1994

ƒ3!RY $p!r!T
:salam2:

I am *really* tempted to recommend that in addition to listening to the Qura'an..praying..and making dua'a..that she visits a doctor to speak to her about her psychological well-being...but I see that you live in Pakistan (?)...and since I'm from an Eastern country and know how stigmatic visiting a doctor for this purpose is in Eastern societies...I'm going to give the recommendation the backseat (unless your friend disregards that stigma..and is willing to visit a professional..which would be *ideal*)

Should visiting a doctor be in fact difficult *for any reason* (not just the one I mentioned)...

I think it's best that you seek an adult..preferably one who is close to the young gal's father (if she's in his care) or to her guardian (whoever it may be)...and speak to them in regards to the well-being of the gal..and ask that they subtly try to figure out what's going on...sobhanallah...people function differently...perhaps her mother's death didn't cause an impact on her..but something less unfortunate such as not progressing academically is making her feel that way...

The key is to have someone from *her domestic* domain (i.e. family)..speak to her...*subtly* and *gently*...by asking questions..and getting her to vent..maybe a problem will pin-pointed and a solution will be found..and if they have already seen a negative change in her but have been putting it aside mentally...then someone *else* speaking to them about it might make them sense an *urgency* in figuring out what's wrong with her (that's if they won't know *already*..but didn't think much of it)

That's the best thing you can do for her..which you should do asap..because if she needs counseling or assessments and treatments by a professional then it's best that her condition be reviewed as soon as possible...but inshallah she won't need to go that far...inshallah it's something that can be solved within her home!

Ask everyone to make dua'a for her in her absence..and without her knowledge..and be patient with her..perhaps there is an ajer for all of you in helping her out *just* by being there for her :)

:wasalam:



Jazakalla khair behna:D Inshallah i'll do just as you said. Request everyone on TTI to make dua for her too.

:tti_sister:
 

rightpath_357

Junior Member
Awwww sis! Make du'aa 4 her- and let her know that- who does she live with- plan a little party for her- soften her up- let her know that ur theree!! and then ask wats wrong. Maybe she's just having regular depression or stress-- maybe it seems to her that she is parting from Allah- so don't just TELL her to pray more and read/listen to Qur'an- do it WITH her!!!!:D
hope this helps!!!!!!!:hearts:
 
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