New Muslim in danger....Please help!!

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by farhopes, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. farhopes
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    farhopes No God but Allah

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    A few weeks ago I read a thread here from a new sister who was asking how she can learn Egyptian Arabic. She said that she is an American who lives in an Egyptian small town called Mahalla. I replied to her telling her that I live in the same town and it is my pleasure to offer her any help. I also sent her PM giving her my mobile number and she phoned me and later she came with her Egyptian husband to visit me. We became friends and she told me all about her story. She converted to Islam two years ago in America and then she knew an Egyptian guy through internet and after chatting for few months, she came to Egypt and they got married. After enduring difficult and humble life for more than a year, she found herself unable to interact with her husband's family because of the problem of language and other problems relating accepting and understanding others who are from different cultures. After some clashes with the man's family, she became sure that her husband can not support her, on the contrary he was violent to her till she stopped loving him.

    Now she wants divorce and he refused to divorce her. She felt that she was kept at home as a prisoner. She felt very desperate and this horrible feeling pushed her to try to kill herself. She took a lot of pills and her husband and his parents took her to hospital and she was saved. Now she refused to talk to anyone and all she wants is to leave the house and wander in the streets or she will try to kill herself again. She does not wanna go back to America. She does not wanna come to my house or even talk to me on phone or on my yahoo messenger as we used to do before. I can not go to her house either. I feel so sad and I do not know how to help her. I feel she is in a horrible situation. Yesterday I told her husband on phone to try to get her to my house and I can talk to her and convince her not to try to kill herself and we can find a way out for her problem. Her husband promised me that he will try to get her to my house, but till now they have not come and I am so worried about her and do not know what to do to save her and help her.

    Please, I do need your advice to help this new Muslim who came to my town and get trapped here.
  2. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    Salaam sister! This is terrible, this is just what I would fear for myself. Why will her husband not divorce her if he is violent towards her? Is he the least bit interested if not out of shear humanity to help her? He must know her family or atleast have a number for them. He should contact them to help her, even if she doesn't want to go back to the states, atleast knowing that her family loves and supports her can offer her strength. I feel terrible for her and for you, the helplessness you must feel. But I wonder if he is keeping her from contacting you????? Controlling her and who she communicates with possibly. I pray for the sister in trouble and I pray God gives you the courage and knowledge to find a way to help her the best you can. Does she need money to get away from the family? I am sure that the Ummah here could come together to assist a sister in need.....
  3. farhopes
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    farhopes No God but Allah

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    Assalamo alikom

    Jazaki Allah khair, sister for your reply, your sympathy and for knowing how the terrible feeling i have for not being able to help my dear friend who chose Islam, but got disappointed by Muslims!!!!

    Yes, this sister does not have any money now as she has spent all her money to help her husband. I just wanna her accept to come to me and my brother said that he can find her a good job and she can live with us till we find her a way out. But I think her husband will not allow this and she is now too desperate to tallk to me or to turn on her lap and communicate with me as we used to do everyday... May Allah inspire me how to help her...Ameen
  4. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    Is it possible for you and your kind brother to just show up at her residence and intervene, give her the security and safeness to pack up and walk out? Are there police that will give a restraining order against her husband and his family that can assist with escorting her out of this home......

    One thing I can say about the US is that we can always enforce our rights once we know our options. I had a friend whose ex-husband beat her so badly one night, pushed her off the roof of her second floor because she was trying to escape from him and then he dragged her to their pool and was trying to pull her up the decking, she knew he would drowned her if she didn't fight like hell.......this was in the middle of the night......luckily she is strong and her yelling and screaming woke the neighbors who called the police. He was arrested and photos were taken of all her injuries. She is the strongest woman I know.....she managed to keep him in jail for every little infraction of the restraining order almost one year in jail.........she is free of him now and has a new wonderful husband.....tell your friend if the opportunity that hope is out there, she just has to find that rebel American spirit in her and pull herself up from this.......Tell her HOPE FLOATS!!
  5. meer suhail
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    meer suhail ILM seeker

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    ahgrrrrrrrr
    i hate it ,i hate when brothers cant take care of there wifes ,specially when a revert sis is invloved ,,who are much more fragile ,,and more sort of alien to culture need more attention ,,,,,,i truly wish i can help ,,
    situations like this always get me very angry ,,,,,
    this is very sad
    INSHA ALLAH something good will happen ,,
  6. farhopes
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    farhopes No God but Allah

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    I will try my best inshaaAllah to try to reach her....i have sent her many SMS telling her to try to come online so that we can talk....if she did not reply, i will call her husband again and ask about her address and try to visit her and talk to her and may Allah help me with that.
  7. Bawar
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    Bawar Struggling2Surrender

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    Salam sister!

    If you can, inform the US embassy as it is their responsibility to protect its citizens worldwide, specially such a good sister deserves more.

    Perhaps you could inform them by email or phone confidentially if you don't want to be draged into it. you could give them all the details that you have and inshallah her chances of rescue will be enhanced.

    May Allah help her and you. Ameen
  8. shaheeda35
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    shaheeda35 strive4Jannah

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    :salam2:
    I am so sorry to hear this sad story. It's a shame that these brothers do not know how to treat their wives, this is totally and completely wrong!! All I can do is pray for her and that you find a way to communicate with her and bring her back and to help her. :tti_sister:I will keep her in my duaas inshallah.
  9. a_brother
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    a_brother Make dua for us all

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    :salam2:

    you said that she doesn't want to come back to america.... why not???

    try to get her address and go see her to know the whole story.... May Allah help you in helping her and make everything easy for this sister... ameeen
  10. warda A
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    warda A Sister

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    :salam2:

    you are a real sister to her, :ma:
    if that husband could learn from your example maybe he could gain something.
    Have you tried the local masjid? get a good sheikh(imam) involved, ask him to help a friend in need.
    am really angry when people do not show respect to others.what kind of examples are we showing.....................
  11. xSharingan01x
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    xSharingan01x TraVeLer

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    I think that's a good suggestion, perhaps a Sheik or an Imam could talk to the husband and figure out how to help her. This is a really sad situation, errr I can't believe these "so called Muslims husbands, can treat their wives like that!". Hopefully her situation improves soon. And may Allah bless you for your consideration and help. If I were you I would talk to local imam, and try again with the husband and the family, if that doesn't work I would call the police or American Embassy.
  12. Angela Hillyer
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    Angela Hillyer Junior Member

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    Salam alaikom sister.

    I admire that you are trying to help this sister and encourage you to keep doing so, but do you think that you might be making the situation worse by continously calling and trying to get in contact with her?? I dont know what the husband is like but I know a lot of men dont like other people interfeering with their relationships and you could be causing more problems for her.

    Maybe he has taken her phone off her and banned her from using the internet so that she cant try and contact other people to help her and so that she cant leave him. But I dont know its just a thought as to what could be happening.

    I hope everything works itself out with this situation and Inshallah I hope that the sister doesnt try to kill herself and that the husband wakes up to himself inshallah. He needs to wake up and fear Allah.

    Once again I think its really good that you are trying to help her and Inshallah find a way to help. I hope you dont think i was trying to attack you or anything like that but I just thought you should take that into consideration aswell. Take care. Salam. Asiya.
  13. leon
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    leon Junior Member

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    sister keep on trying..you will succeed with th guidance of ALLAH.....

    im a newly converted westerner married into a muslim family.....i am so happy you cant describe it.....bless ALLAH....

    we both from two different countries and different cultures and with real LOVE and FAITH you can conqure all.

    if i can assist our sister in need , being a westerner plse dont hestitate to ask....im here for you..............Mar-Salama
  14. shari
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    shari Brother

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    :salam2:

    real sad to hear that all
  15. cmelbouzaidi
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    cmelbouzaidi Junior Member

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    I agree with sister Warda. Especially as we are dealing with a revert to Islam, I hope she will be strong enough to dissociate her husband's terrible and cruel behaviour from anything to do with Islam. I will say du'aa that the local masjid may be able to help and that this young lady will come out of this dark depression, Insha Allah. Jazak Allah Khair to you for being such a caring sister to her.
  16. farhopes
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    farhopes No God but Allah

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    Assalamo alikom

    Jazakom Allah khair you all for your sympathy, your advice and your Du'a.

    I could talk to her today....she is still tired and not able to talk much, but she promised that when she feel a little better, she will come to me and we can talk.

    I could also talk to her husband who promised very kindly that he will try to get her to my house when she feels better. He said that he will do everything to please her and will fix everything very soon inshaaAllah.

    I feel a little better now and I have hope that Allah will guide her and her husband to what is best for them inshaAllah.....Just keep making Du'a for your new sister and may Allah be with her, gladden her hurt and make her task easy for her....Ameen
  17. palestine
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    palestine Servant of Allah

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    im crying. wallahi i feel her pain. i'm sad because of what our world has come to such as this one. pls update us. salam
  18. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? That sounds like she just let him do whatever he's doing and turn a blind eye to it. Do not make excuses for that man and his family. I am not attacking sister but please, don't sympathize on the side of walking on egg shells to not upset the man! She should do as much as possible to get this poor girl away from them......I think the Embassy and contacting her family if at all possible are great ideas. Also please, please see if the police will help....unfortunately though I worry that as she is an "american" they might care less about helping her....
  19. massi
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    massi Junior Member

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    different cultures

    The main problem is the marriage between different cultures....
    and the fact there are a lot of brothers get married with revert sisters for money and location ....ect ....but if she is married with a revert Muslim specially : ((the same background )) and even live in another country ...it'll be fine and they' ll supported each other because they are in the same situation ...and the most important thing they understand each other very well ....
    but when it is a different cultures there are many problem ...
    may Allaah guide her and her husband to the right way amine
  20. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN Brother!!!!!!!
    " fact there are a lot of brothers get married with revert sisters for money and location" And that is exactly why after they get what they are after, they leave and marry a woman from their background......I can count 4 different brothers of my husbands friends who are LEGALLY married to American women and then left them to "islamically" marry an Arab sister. IT INFURIATES ME THE WAY WE ARE BEING USED REVERT LADIES.......Not all but alot of sisters. And because of this trust is a huge issue even in the marriages that are still together because we are just waiting to be "Punked".....

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