no friends?!

[xo.gold-digga.ox]

is it wrong to have a boyfriend in islam even if you proper love him with all your heart?...i kind of love this guy probably even more than my family. we grew up together on the same state and im not at college anymore but we still spend time together. hes been here for me and supported me more than my own family? am i not allowed even then??

and it says in islam about keeping good company..like having good friends?if thats what it means i wont have any left! all my 'muslim' mates are really westernised.i'd say my non muslim mates are more 'better than them. my 'muslim' mates were the ones that got me clubbing and things and not one of my non muslim friends went out or drank, etc even on their own when i was with them..

ive got lots of guy friends. more than i have girls, i only know and talk to about 4 girls..who ive known about 1-2years, but our friendship doesnt last because of our clashing opinions! and the guy mates ive known since i could toddle and i find it easier to chat to them even about islamic stuff. some of them are practising muslims and do tell me to bugger off, that its not right for girls to chat to non related guys. but ill end up ringing them or linking them when im bored.

i just think its ok to have guy mates who are decent than my girl mates who make me do non islamic stuff anyway.the girls make me do bad stuff and the guys make me or will encourage me to do good...so is it still wrong because its not like im in a relationship with them or anything like that.just talking...this has probably been discussed before? but i cant find the answer im looking for

 

[AAminAA]

:salam2:

First of all

It's not allowed to have a boyfriend in Islam in any ways ! Those kind of relationships are not permited. If you have a marriage on your mind, get married and that's it .

Secondly, there is not permition eighter to have male friends no matter what. Sisters should stay around sisters, and brothers around brothers.

Muhammad s.a.w.s., said that male and female should never be alone, because third with them is shaytan l.a. . It's the nature of human being, shaytan l.a.,attacks our minds and desires...so stay out of that.

May Allah protect you and every muslim sister/brother from doing what's haram. Ameen !

 

[Zafran]

I agree with AAminAA, If you love so much the best solution is to marry him beacuse otherwise its not halal.

 

[muslim-girl]

Asc sister

Asc sister..

I will advice u to leave him alone, and see if he really like u. u can actully test him by leaving him alone, stay away from him. if he really likes u he will married u and if not, then he is probably not in love with u sis. im sorry but i've try the same. Some boys just talk with girl for fun and washing time, but a really muslimah should not have boyfriend or chat with boys thats haram , and actully not pretty. but inshaAllah may Allah guide us all amiin..hope the best for u ..

 

[Sister Fatma]

Salam alaykum sis

the sisters above are right.
Come on sis do u actually believe in ur heart that u should be friends with a boy??
No
The reason being he is a potential husband. He will for fact undress u with his eyez, thoughts etc

i myself in my ignorance time, got along better with boys then girls. i found it easy to talk to them etc. But I notice how much haram there is, coz every time i approach them they always first check me out. they then will talk about you.etc.

You need to look at it in this point of view, does ur boyfriend think that it is alright for his sister to have a boyfriend?.
Ask him why? If its not a bad thing he wouldn't mind.
Girls that hang around with boyz are never seen to be good.

Luv is a feeling so strong that when have it for someone you would do anything to spend ur life with them.
So if he feels that way, he would definitely marry you, or if he ain't ready he'll keep apart and come in time.

mainly you need to remember sis that no matter how much u luv him now, when it comes to judgement day all the sudden you will no think that he was worth it at all, you will wish that you never had him as a boyfriend and you will hate him for accepting to be ur man.

Just pray to ALLAH to strengthen you and to keep all that is not beneficial away 4m you.
I'll do the same for you too sis take care.

 

[xo.gold-digga.ox]

i dont think hes marraige material. so ok no boyfriends.
what about guys who ive called brother all my life? they come over and chill with my brother and dad as well untill late and were all just like a family really. my dad actually rather have me chilling with them than my girl mates. and i dont think these guys actually do check me out. they know my dad and call me sis and everything. they wouldnt dream of it. not all guys are the same. i mean the ones that are dodgy with me ill steer clear of them..?

and what about my girlfriends? if they make me turn evil should i ditch them too? i started drinking because of them but ive stopped since i changed myself and they laugh but they dont know that im turning muslim thats why ive stopped so they take the piss.

see what i mean..no friends left! i know friends are the people who support and encourage and only want the best for you but everyone in my neighbourhood is like this so its not like i could change my set of mates is it?

oh well i think they family should come first. i just wanted to clarify on the male friends.thanks for your replies.

and please pray for my uncle everyone.if you dont know hes undergoing surgery on sunday/monday. please please pray hes ok

 

[dlebari]

my dear sister, similar experiences

assalam alaykum sister in islam,

i know the situation you are in and believe it or not, i have been there.

i am a revert to islam and in some ways the situation i almost got myself into was probably as there was more excuse for it given i was not born into Islam and i kept telling myself it was part of me "taking my revertion slowly".

This was just me kidding myself. In reading the Quran, I was reminded of the messages Allah (swt) had given to us about mixing with company.

I too, at the time of my revertion, as through most of my life found I had way more male friends than female friends and these friends were usually longstanding from childhood. I seemed to form more lasting friendships with males and actually my circle of best friends was composed of mainly males and these were who i told my deepest secrets and worries to. Of course they were always there for me as I was there for them.

However, unlike your situation, the important thing was the line of friendship or love interest was NEVER blurred. And even in this, what might seem not such a dangerous and risky situation, I knew if I believed in Allah (swt) and his messenger, Muhammad (saw), and the day of judgement, then I should not be having ANY excuses and should just be doing as Allah has directed. For He is the only one who has all our best interests in mind, in this life and the next.

So what i'm saying to you is, in your situation, the lines are already blurred, making things very dangerous and easier to miss when the sinning begins. And that is the danger, of falling into sin and not recognising it and living in it and being comfortable in it.

I agree with the above posts... you have to marry if that's the way its going. Otherwise, the relationship between you two is neither necessary nor halal. Also it is the ONLY way your conscience will be at peace as I get the sense (not sure) that is why you posted the question.

You seem to be in conflict with your person and your Iman, like I was. But what you must ask yourself is, "Can i account for this to Allah (swt) on the day of judgement? What will I say?"

If you cannot account for it on the day of judgement, then you should probably not be doing it, as Allah swt will certainly call you to do so on the day of judgement.

May Allah swt, always guide you and be with you. Turn to him in istikharah in your decision making and every aspect of your life.
He does not make easy the road for the believers. So take comfort in this.

Salaams

 

[Musulmanin]

:salam2: xo.gold-digga.ox


Do you pray five times a day? Do you read Quran? Do you follow Sunnah to

the best of your knowledge? Do you try to increase iman (faith) with prayers,

recitations, fastings, etc?

I believe if you do all this ( I'm not saying you don't because I don't know you)

in your heart you will start knowing what is right and what is wrong, inshAllah.

Answers will be coming to you inshAllah.


No, sister in Islam you can not have a boyfriend, I think in your heart you

know it is not right. May Allah make your iman stronger and keep you awar from

forbidden.


There is a saying "show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you

are."

Make new friends in Masjids.


I hope I was not harsh, that was not my intention.

 

[bilalswife1983]

is it wrong to have a boyfriend in islam even if you proper love him with all your heart?...i kind of love this guy probably even more than my family. we grew up together on the same state and im not at college anymore but we still spend time together. hes been here for me and supported me more than my own family? am i not allowed even then??

and it says in islam about keeping good company..like having good friends?if thats what it means i wont have any left! all my 'muslim' mates are really westernised.i'd say my non muslim mates are more 'better than them. my 'muslim' mates were the ones that got me clubbing and things and not one of my non muslim friends went out or drank, etc even on their own when i was with them..

ive got lots of guy friends. more than i have girls, i only know and talk to about 4 girls..who ive known about 1-2years, but our friendship doesnt last because of our clashing opinions! and the guy mates ive known since i could toddle and i find it easier to chat to them even about islamic stuff. some of them are practising muslims and do tell me to bugger off, that its not right for girls to chat to non related guys. but ill end up ringing them or linking them when im bored.

i just think its ok to have guy mates who are decent than my girl mates who make me do non islamic stuff anyway.the girls make me do bad stuff and the guys make me or will encourage me to do good...so is it still wrong because its not like im in a relationship with them or anything like that.just talking...this has probably been discussed before? but i cant find the answer im looking for

Assalamu alaykum sister! I'm pretty new at this but I'm positive that you're not allowed to have a boyfriend or boy friends. If you really love him, marry him, otherwise stay away from him and keep in mind that it's for your own good. Like someone else said, you think you love him until Judgement Day and then you realize that what you were doing was wrong.

It sounds like you have some "not so good" friends so maybe you should try to make new ones. Just stay away from the bad ones because it's easy to fall into their traps and doing haram things. In the last paragraph you say that they make you do things. No one should make you do anything. You do it by yourself and you do it for Allah. NO ONE has power over you besides Allah. Allah gave us the ability to make our own decisions and you have to choose the right one.

So be strong sister and don't give in to peer pressure.

 

[Salika]

:salam2: to all,

I have to ask all of you, as it is similar to this situation, if you love someone and have contact with them and actually have thought of marraige, even in fantasy land, but you knew that it was not possible to ever get married, i mean, like marraige is not even an option to consider, is it haraam then to talk to them? I understand that Allah can make anything happen, the impossible possible. But still in a case like this where there is no foul type language, only modest, sincere, and friendly conversations with the opposite sex, is it still then haraam with the fact that marraige is not possible, but was considered?