Please don't judge me - my long story

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by DanyalSAC, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. DanyalSAC
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    DanyalSAC Junior Member

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    Asalaamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu…

    I need to say right now that this post may be controversial to some, and for that I apologize profusely but I’m being drawn to talk, and I need to talk to my brothers and sisters, not to coworkers or friends who “know me” and who say they understand but they really don’t. And I’m pretty certain none of you here, as well-meaning as you may be, can fully understand either. But please – forgive me if I offend anyone, as that is not my intent.

    Here goes (feel free to run now!)

    I am a 44 year old brother who like most Americans is of mixed heritage. In 1984 when I was 19 years old I came out of the closet as gay. I was an “in your face” homosexual, I attended parades, wore pink triangle t-shirts, held my boyfriend’s hand on the bus. I had pictures of the two of us all over my desk, sent as Christmas cards, and adorning my mom’s book shelves. I was also pretty unhappy. In 1993 I wanted to escape from that life by entering the priesthood, because I felt I was being called to the ministry, but my priest told me my entry into the Seminary had been declined. It was “God’s Will” he said. God’s Will? Who knows God’s Will but God? I basically rebelled then, washing my hands of the Christian faith – and any faith, truth be told, that had to do with a monotheistic religion. And I went back to the gay lifestyle of dancing, drinking, smoking, club-going, and of course dating other men.

    When I moved to California in 2003 it was for me to build myself up from the ground, to start anew. I stopped smoking, cleaned up my credit, bought my first band new car (at the age of 38, sad huh) and then my first house (at the age of 43…also sad, huh…). It was during this time that I realized that the gay lifestyle was one of self destruction and was not EVER going to lead to a fulfilling life. I realized I didn’t know what love really was, and that I probably never did… so I stopped the whole ‘scene’ but still identified as a gay man. In 2008 I met a man online who lived in Egypt. We chatted frequently and started an internet love affair thing that would only last a couple of months. He moved to the UAE in July and during Ramadan in 2008 he repented his lifestyle and kicked me out of his life. That was what FIRST got me interested in Islam. I wanted to see what was drawing this man to forsake “the way God created him”, and to “try to pretend” to be straight. I predicted right then that he would be miserable for the rest of his life. It was also during this same time period that I was trying to get back into the fold of the Catholic Church. My heart was empty of God and I could FEEL it. I had made arrangements with the priest of the church closest to my house to give him a confession that was 15 years in the making. But each week something came up. He had to go to the doctor, he had another appointment, he will call when he could make it, he would drop me an email. Please forgive me Daniel, he would say, and God bless. Well when my Egyptian vanished on me I got curious and started to read about Islam. I read about Ramadan…I bought an English translation of the Qur’an. I read a Sirah of the Prophet upon him be peace and I cried when I read how he was treated, I cried when I read about the angel Gabriel saying “READ!” and how Muhammad peace be upon him was terrified. I read of clear proofs and signs that are totally missing in the Christian faith. I joined a group that I will not name, a support group for Gay Muslim Men and we had some interesting discussions. A couple of these brothers suggested I go to the Masjid on a Friday and listen to the khutbah. To make a long story short, that lead me to convert to Islam in December of last year (ironic, isn’t it, that the gay lifestyle was what lead me to Islam?). I have, of course, since then removed myself from that group and any other like it. Including a group who's sole existance was to help men and women like me make the transition to healthy halal marriages.

    At first I tried to reconcile myself the way I did as a Catholic. I thought “Hey I could be a good Muslim and a gay man…right? I mean…the whole Sodom and Gomorrah story is allegory and open for interpretation just like the brothers in the group say…right? Right?” Wrong. As I had mentioned, I had already started to distance myself from that community and I decided then and there I would never look back. I’ve gone through counseling with both mainstream and Muslim councilors and as time has gone by I’ve unraveled the threads and knots that had stuck me in that lifestyle. As of this moment I no longer feel comfortable identifying as gay. However, I am not quite sure if I’m “fully healed” yet. I do know that I want and crave a wife right now. One that will understand – and forgive- my past. I know many of you say “Oh but you shouldn’t disclose your past sins!” But this isn’t “a past sin”. This is an entire persona that was built over 25 years. I can’t deny it. When I get married and I bring my wife to meet my parents, there WILL be comments made and there WILL be a photo here and there that I would have to explain. So yes, I will be open and honest with her. And I pray to Allah that she accepts that. However, the Muslim counselor I spoke to said that even though marriage is half my deen, if I chose instead to live a celibate life I would get a blessing for that, too.

    Since that fateful December 5th I have changed so much. People – including my family – recognize the peace in me and the contentment. Some folks who haven’t me in a while don’t understand – remember I said I was FULLY out as gay, even to my coworkers and family – and sometimes make inappropriate jokes and I will gently explain to them in private that I am no longer the same person. I’ve had to sever people out of my life, people I’ve known for years and years, because they couldn’t accept the fact that I am now a Muslim and no longer a member of the gay community.

    In addition to giving up pork (and I loved pork!), giving up music, giving up alcohol, learning to fast, praying 5 times a day, being verbally attacked because of my religion, and even gave my roommates their eviction notice because our lives are no longer compatible, thus removing their rent as a supplemental income... sometimes it feels that I am STILL being tested. I have an almost 100 mile commute each way – Allah’s answer to me begging for a job closer to home was for Him to move my job 20 miles further south. Today as I sat in traffic after driving an hour and a half and realized that I was once again going to be late for work I started to despair and wonder “Why does Allah test me so harshly? I’ve GIVEN UP everything that was haram!” I feel that the blessings I have- my house and car, for example – I am in jeopardy of losing because I am paying too much in gas that as of right now my payment for both is late for August. I gave up all my friends and have met no new ones because the Ummah in my city wants to be my brothers in Islam but not necessarily be my friends.

    I don’t know what else I can give up. I’m already a “bare bones” version of who I once was. I am not perfect, though I strive to be. They kept telling me that Allah “makes it easy” so I’m still waiting for that to come true! They say He doesn’t give more than a soul can bear but sometimes I think those that say that are the ones who were never REALLY challenged.

    Anyway…my brothers and sisters, if you’ve made it this far please I ask that you make dua for me, that I can continue on the straight path and that I have the strength to survive the challenges and tests that Allah subhana wa ta’ala throws at me.

    And if I’ve offended anyone, I ask your forgiveness. That was not my intent, and was done by my ignorance only.

    Allah bless.

    Danyal (Daniel)
    • Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah x 1
  2. dilek
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    dilek OntheWayOf ALLAH

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    assalam alaykum ya brother

    Your life affected me so much... but it seems that you are really stronger enough to challange with all these handicaps.. and you are very courages masaAllah because explaning such private things and being so honest isnt easy.. Inshaallah you ll be in my prays as you want :)

    Brother inshaallah everything will be so great and easy in your life..

    and please never forget Allah never turn face from his creatures :)

    wa alaykum salam
  3. Manaal_e_Afghan
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    Manaal_e_Afghan Junior Member

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    Walaikum salaam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

    Brother In Islam
    MashAllah I Think You are So blessed To be guided By Allah swt
    there are many ppl who were gone astray and still are
    But from Those Ppl Allah swt choose you and Guided You
    2nd if you married a Lady and you tell her about your whole life story
    I am sure she'll understand and you'll not have to be answered for anything about gay relations etc
    3rd these are the Tests from Allah swt to test our faith
    I am sure if you stead firm on Islam surely you'll be The winner
    My Prayers are with you
    May Allah swt ease your problems and Give You Peace and Happiness In Life
    and May He Bless You
    Ameen
    take care
    Happy Ramadhan kareem
    May This event of your life Brighten up your whole life InshAllah
  4. rightpath_357
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    rightpath_357 Junior Member

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    be strong. better things will happen, and u will get great rewards in the afterlife. but dont look back, shaytan might make it feel as if ur old bad habits r pulling u back again. so ignore what other people say. think of them as simple-minded people who have no idea of what u've been through. maybe u could get a hobby, go to the animal sheltyer, help out at hospitals and volenteer for good things. or just simple things like going out for a walk, a hike, or birdwatching.
  5. mezeren
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    mezeren Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    Brother,i will pray for you.All i can say is that since you believe islam is the right path to follow you can not give up no matter how difficult your life is.it might sound cliche but there are people who suffer more.Thinking about those whose conditions are worse could make you feel better.

    i hope you find a muslimah that can accept your past but if you can not,don't forget Allah is with you.We all live our lives on this world and die,we are being tested all the time.What matters is how we react to those tests.

    May Allah(swt) make your test easier and make you and us stronger in our belief.
  6. MahyarEL-Prince
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    MahyarEL-Prince Studying Islam...

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    Salam, cool story, InshAllah you won't be tempted with that lifestyle, but as you have said you have already done a lot to change from what you used to be. Im really happy to hear that you have changed, from a gay lifestyle that sort of encourages me that what I am going through is not half as hard as yours, keep it up brother I hope Allah will reward all of us. peace
  7. ummyasiin
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    ummyasiin Striving for Janatul firdous

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    alhamdulilah!!! you are a muslim now. mashallah. the greatr the hardship the greater the relief......also you are muslim so you will be tested like a muslim, the key is to have PATIENCE,, sound dum, I know, but patience, prayer and gratitude is is what will get you to the next day, we are all tested and believe we are all tested according to our faith next you will be looking back remembering this day, jus think Allah can bring your whole everything dwn in the time less than than the blink of an eye, however he gives you another breath, and addition another day to show gratitude to him and try again. the next time your in the city and see an actual homeless person feed them or give a few bucks, and than tell Allah that you are thankful because he has show you MERCY after all, and than look at who is LESS fortutunate than you and than who has more, and you will realized that Allah swt is not "SO HARSH' to you....right infact you are able to access the internet, you still have your car and house, soo you cant give up, Allah will not burden a soul more than he can bare, so if you think ur tested hashly, take it as a compliment, your strong, now praise Allah, Alhamdulilah!!!!
  8. ShyHijabi
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    ShyHijabi Junior Member

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    Salaam,

    Brother, I am completely gobsmacked at your strength and preserverence. My life shadows yours in that I left an entire culture and most of my family behind when I converted. I lived two years unsure if I would be on the streets any day because I was scraping to pay for my housing and school. To say I was terribly lonely would be putting it mildly. I have struggled and cried over the feeling of "Why??" since I had sacrificed so much and still felt I was being tested so harshly.

    Given the reality market presently I can't just advise you to sell your house and buy another. But something has to give, is there any way for you to work from home? Like can your job set up a phone/computer from your house and you only make the commute once a week? (forgive me as I am not sure what your job entails)

    You are right in that hiding your past will be virtually impossible, specifically from a perspective spouse. This is the one time where I am going to suggest looking for a convert, specifically a Western one who is familiar with the way our media presents homosexuality as the norm. She will more likely understand your background as well as the intense struggle you've made in an effort to please Allah.

    I will definitely make dua for you brother. I will pray that the way ease up and that a pious wife is brought into your life to be your life long companion. I will pray that some brothers take you as a friend and maybe add you to their family as I know lonliness makes us vulnerable to the whispers of shaitaan. I am so proud of you brother, of your honesty and earnestness. May Allah swt grant you jennah and everlasting happiness.

    Wasalaam
  9. DanyalSAC
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    DanyalSAC Junior Member

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    I must say I am overwhelmed by the kind responses everyone has made to my post, both private and here in public, thank you so very much!

    You've all made my day much brighter. I was kinda feeling gloomy because I had to break my fast today - I am diabetic and my blood sugar got up a bit and that made me overwhelmingly thirsty so I had to have some water... and you guys thankfully have cheered me up.
  10. safiya58
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    safiya58 Junior Member

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    :salam2: bro Danyal

    I´m a repenter myself and i can understand you.... even if it is not for 100%.

    You know what we are lucky to have a brother like you in our ummah, alhamdulliah. you are strong and courages mashaalah. And Allah loves the strong believers more than the weak.

    my advice to you is never belittle yourself or let others belittele you... this is haram! we do not have the right to judge you only to advice you as your brothers and sisters....

    a muslim gets his selfvalue from the relationship with his Creator. And He gives us so much honor, subanallah. and no matter what you do or what others will do to you noone can take away the honor Allah has given to you... ppl may can destroy your reputation but they can never ever ever ever dishonor you!

    surat al isra verse 70: "We have honored the children of Adam and carried them on earth and in the sea and provided to them the good sustenance. And we made them better than many of what we created."

    you are not only a human you are a believing human! you are a repenter! mashaallah. the prophet (saw) said: "the destruction of the whole dunya is less evil than the killing of one muslim" c how much we are honored by Allah!

    I will pray for you. inshaallah Allah will bless you with a pious wife. the companions didn´t call eachother with brother Abu bakr or brother Ali or sister Aisha... but they acted like that! inshaalah you will met real brothers in Islam!

    life is a test... and it is full with hardships... rely on Allah inshaallah He will reward you for beeing patient. You have to know that Allah have to love you otherwise He would not guide you... there are so many ppl outthere even among us muslims who are lost...

    :wasalam:
  11. safiya58
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    safiya58 Junior Member

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    Hardships benefit the believer

    :salam2: again

    may you will find this post usefull:

    Hardships benefit the believer

    By Md Ziya



    Allah has decreed that, in this life, hardships and disasters strike both believers and non-believers. For a non-believer, they are inconveniences that hinder him from proceeding with his normal involvement in the worldly life. For a believer, on the other hand, they are instances of rest and remembrance, tests that promise great rewards, and indications of atonement and expiation of sins.


    Regardless of how little is the harm that strikes a believer, it carries with it good news of forgiveness and elevated rank (in Jannah). The Righteous predecessors used to be pleased when a hardship afflicted them, seeing it as a token of Allah's forgiveness and benevolence.


    Expiations of Sins

    Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet said: "Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman in their body, family, and property, until they meet Allah (S) burdened with no sins. " [Tirmithee]

    Sign of Allah's Love

    Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity" [Bukharee and others]

    Sign of Eeman

    Abu Hurayrah (RA) and Ka'b Bin Maalik (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "The parable of a believer is that of a fresh and moist plant; the wind tilts it this way and that way; and so is the believer; he continues to be subject to affliction. And the parable of a hypocrite is that of a firm cedar tree; it does not shake - until it is uprooted all at once." [Bukharee and Muslim]

    Sign of Righteousness

    The prophets and righteous people are afflicted the most, and their rewards are the highest. Sa'd (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins." [Ahmad, Tirmithee]

    Early Punishment

    Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "When Allah wills good for a servant of His, He expedites his punishment in this life; and when He wills retribution for a servant of His, He holds his sins for Him to judge him by them on the Day of Resurrection." [Tirmithee]

    Multiplication of Rewards

    Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "The amount of reward is in accordance with the amount of suffering. When Allah (SWT) loves some people, He tries them (with affliction). He who then is content (with Allah's decree) has achieved the acceptance (of Allah), and he who is dissatisfied (with Allah's decree) will attain the anger (of Allah)." [Tirmithee]

    Rewards for Sickness

    One should not look to sickness as a gloomy episode, but should remember the great good in it. It is one form of affliction with which Allah (SWT) tests His 'ibaad (servants), giving them a chance to acquire rewards, as was explained above, as is further emphasized below.

    Removal of Sins and Elevation in Ranks

    Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " Whenever a Muslim is afflicted by harm from sickness or other matters, Allah will drop his sins because of that, like a tree drops its leaves." [Bukharee and Muslim]


    Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [Bukharee and Muslim]


    Sa'eed said, " I was with Salmaan (RA) when he visited a sick man in Kindah ( in Persia ), and he said to him: " Expect good because Allah (SWT) makes a believer's sickness an expiation (for his sins) and a period of rest. However, when a disbeliever falls sick, he is like a camel whose owner ties it then lets it loose - it does not understand why it was tied nor why it was freed." [Bukharee]


    'Aishah (RA) narrated that once some pain afflicted the Prophet (SAW) causing him to suffer and turn about in his bed. she said: "Had one of us done this, you would have blamed him." He (SAW) replied: " An ailment is intensified for the righteous. Whenever a believer is afflicted by a hardship, whether it is a thorn or more, a sin is taken off from him because of it, and he is elevated by one rank (in Jannah). " [Ahmad]


    Retaining Rewards for Deeds Before Sickness

    Usually, when a believer falls sick, he would not be able to do the same amount of good (prayer, fasting, helping Muslims etc) that he used to do when he was well. But Allah out of His great mercy, continues to record for him the good deeds that he was forced to stop because of his sickness. Abu Moosa Al-Ash'aree narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: " For a traveling or sick person, his deeds will be recorded in accordance with what he used to do when he was resident or well." [Bukharee]

    'Abdullah Bin 'Amr reported that the Prophet said: "No (believing) person gets sick, but (his deeds) will be recorded for him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well." [Bukharee] Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: " No Muslims body is afflicted by Allah, but He will record (his deeds) foe him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well - as long as he is sick. Thus, if He takes his life, He forgives him; and if He cures him, He washes him (from sins)." [Bukharee]


    _'Uqbah Bin 'Aamir reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: "Each day's deeds are sealed with it. thus, when a believer gets sick, the angels say, " Our lord! Your servant such and such, You have restrained him (from doing good this day)." And the lord replies, " Seal his day in accordance with his (usual) deeds, until he is cured or dies". [Ahmad]

    Reason for the Reward

    'Atta Bin Rabaah reported that Ibn 'Abbaas (RA) told him, "Do you want to see a woman from the people of Jannah (paradise)?" He said "Yes". He said: " It is this black woman. She came to the Prophet (SAW) saying, " I have (epileptic) seizures, and I get exposed, so supplicate to Allah for me." He (SAW) said: " If you wish, be patient and you will attain Jannah; or if you wish, I will ask Allah to cure you." She replied, " I will be patient! But my body gets exposed (because of the fall), so supplicate to Allah for me that I do not become exposed." and he (SAW) did." [Bukharee and Muslim]


    The scholars have differed in opinion as to whether a sick person will be rewarded for the sickness itself or for being patient during it. the correct opinion is that if he is patient and submits to Allah's will, as in the above hadeeth, he would be rewarded for both the submission and the sickness, otherwise, he would not be rewarded at all; because he resented Allah's decree. This is what should be understood from Ibn hajar al-'Asqalaanees words: "The authentic hadeeths are clear in that the rewards are recorded once affliction strikes a Muslim. As for patience and acceptance, they are virtues for which a person may get additional rewards over those for the affliction." 'Abdullah Bin 'Amr reported that the Prophet (SAW) said:


    "If a Muslim is pricked by (as little as) a thorn in the worldly life, and he seeks its reward from Allah, some of his sins will be removed, because of it, on the Day of Judgement."[Bukharee]


    "True believers are only those whose hearts are filled with awe whenever God is mentioned, and whose faith is strengthened whenever His revelations are recited to them. In their Lord do they place their trust." (Chapter 8: Verse 2)

    :wasalam:
  12. islam_best
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    islam_best Junior Member

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    May Allah help you

    Assalaamalaikum warahmatullahi wabarakathuu,

    Brother be thankful and greatful to Allah Azwajal for having yyou guided to the right path an don worry.just put your trust in him and move on in life as it is sure to end brothet live for the hereafter as that is our final goal.Ya Allah grant us all this ramadhans mercy, forgiveness and reward in abundance and keep us constant and patient in our faith and You and do not make us disheartened looking at the beleiver and grant us all Jannatulfirdous in the hereafter.AMeen Ya Mujeeb.Ameen Ya Raheem.Ameen Ya Rabbulalameen.Ameen Ya Allah.Ameen

    Wassalaamalaikum warahmatullahi wabarakathuu.
  13. Fatima S.Ar
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    Fatima S.Ar Happiness = Islam

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    All thank is for Allah for every thing
    I'm sure of that , you are strong enough to pass this .
    Allah has guided you and taken you from the lostness life , that life was without an aim , right ? and he showed u the light , and he changed all ur sins into good deeds .. and he forgave all ur past sins .. he gave you brothers and sisters .. etcetera
    after all these graces .. could not you endure some difficulties ?
    dont be hopeless .. Allah is with you :)

    May Allah give you ash- shefa ( health after sickness )
    also my daddy , he is diabetic too .
    if you believe in fate and thank Allah , this sickness will make you have more and more hasanat ( good deeds ) .

    May Allah always be with you :)
  14. LoveofAllah
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    LoveofAllah Junior Member

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    you are an inspiration for me.
    just right now, i was crying and asking Allah why He is testing me when im trying so hard to do good.

    you made me realize that no matter how hard you think you have it, someone else has it even harder. the prophet had it worse than all of us.

    i've learnt so much from your post and i promise to keep you in my duas.
  15. DanyalSAC
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    DanyalSAC Junior Member

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    While I appreciate everyone's kind comments and support, I must ask please no more judgemental private messages, thank you.
  16. umm hussain
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    umm hussain Junior Member

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    Asalam alaikum warahmatullah

    Truly Allah guides whomsoever he wills to the straight path and this is a mercy from him because not everyone can see truth from falsehood.

    Stay strong.
  17. um_mustafa
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    um_mustafa sister in Islam

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    Salams Brother ,
    Allah ta'laa has given you the best gift you can ever have when he gave you Islam , hold on to it with both hands and after every hardship there is ease, please do not dispare, you will be in our duaas and may Allah ta'laa make things easeir for you.
    w/salams
  18. Munawar
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    Munawar Striving for Paradise

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    :salam2:
    My dear Brother Danyal,

    If you look at the life of many of the Sahaba (RA) in Makkah you will see that they were beaten and tortured even while the Prophet of Allah was among them. And this pain and suffering didn't last for just a few days, weeks or months, but lasted for more than a decade, and this is long time. One sahabi (I am forgetting his name) was tortured by placing buring coal on his back till he smell not just buring of his own skin but the buring of the layer of fat under his skin. Imagine how much painful that would be, but he remained steadfast. He could have thought that hey! the Prophet of the creator of the heavens and the earth is here and all I am doing is beliving in him and Allah, then what is the deal here? Angels should be coming and rescueing me but instead I am so severly tortured - Why? And when the Kuffar of Makkah boycotted the Muslims for more than a year then all Muslims including Prophet :saw: had nothing to eat, they would boil leather and eat it or eat barks of the trees. I still don't understand how they remained so steadfast to the religion? They should be thinking that if there is an Allah and there are Angels and Mohammad is Allah's Prophet and we have forsaken everything to become a Muslim then why all this pain and suffering is happening to us? But we see that instead their faith in Islam grew stronger.

    There is a very inspiring story of Aminah Assilmi in USA http://www.welcome-back.org/profile/aminah1.shtml She suffered a lot but when she passed her testing period Allah rewarded her.

    Even here on this website I remember the posts of sister Shyhijabi full of pain and stress, MashaAllah that period in her life seems to be over and Allah has blessed her with a good husband now. And everyone is tested one time or another, the length and severity varies from one person to another, but still the test happens to everyone.

    I will make dua that you pass this test, and after you pass this test you will come out much stronger. InshaAllah.

    I am posting some hadiths regarding trials and patience. They have enhanced my understanding of trials and patience.

    Allah's Messenger (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wasallam) said: "None is more patient than Allah against the harmful and annoying words He hears (from the people): They ascribe children to Him, yet He bestows upon them health and provision."
    Narrated by Abu Musa Al-Ashari (Razi Allah Ta'lah Anhu); Sahih Bukhari transmitted it. Vol 9:#475 of Sahih Bukhari.

    Allah's Apostle (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wasallam) said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials."
    Narrated by AbuHurayrah (Razi Allah Ta'lah Anhu); Sahih Bukhari transmitted it. Vol 7:#548 of Sahih Bukhari.

    When the Prophet (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wasallam) was asked which people suffered the greatest affliction, he replied, "The prophets, then those who come next to them, then those who come next to them. A man is afflicted in keeping his religion. If he is firm in his religion his trial is severe, but if there is weakness in his religion it is made light for him, and it continues like that till he walks on the earth having no sin."
    Narrated by Hazrat Sa'd (Razi Allah Ta'lah Anhu); Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it. Hadith No.1562 of Mishkat al-Masabih.

    The Prophet (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wasallam) said: "A Muslim male or female, remains subject to trials (in this world) in respect of self, children and property till he or she faces Allah, the Exalted, (on the Day of Judgment) in a state in which all his or her sins have been remitted."
    Narrated by AbuHurayrah (Razi Allah Ta'lah Anhu); Tirmidhi transmitted it. Hadith No.1567 of Mishkat al-Masabih.

    Allah's Apostle (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wasallam) said: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shown resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it".
    Narrated by Suhaib ibn Sinan ar-Rumi (Razi Allah Ta'lah Anhu); Muslim transmitted it. Hadith No.5297 of Mishkat al-Masabih.

    May Allah (swt) help you and guide you and keep you on the straight path to Jannah Al-Firdous. Ameen!
    :wasalam:
  19. IHearIslam
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    IHearIslam make dua 4 ma finals

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    Asalamu Alaikum brother Danyal!
    I know I am late with this response, but your story brought tears to my eyes! and I am soo soo soo proud of you, though guidance comes from Allah, you have shown alot of patience and at this moment in time, there is no way of you giving up! Allah is there for you and through ever hardhip, He wants to hear your nagging, make your level of jannah higher as you endure with patience! this tests are nothing but tests that purify you very special soul! brother I'll forever keep you in your dua and I hope and pray you find a very good wife and that your life becomes easier!ameen ya Ilahi.
  20. IHearIslam
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    IHearIslam make dua 4 ma finals

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    that just hurtss!!! brothers and sisters where is the support!!!? how can we judge someone ??! did you forget that its Allah ta'ala who is the judge?
    what gave you the heart to send a judgemental message(s) to a brother who came here to seek your help and your support?may Allah forgive us all and guide us, please do respect everyone. And know that NONE of us can judge anyone, anywhere!
    brothe Danyal, I hope you forgive us all.....and I ask Allah to make things easy for you!ameen
    may Allah bless you and guard you and protect you from all kinds of evil!ameen

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