please help my friend with her husband

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Zayna85908, Jul 7, 2008.

  1. Zayna85908
    Offline

    Zayna85908 Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    I am unemployed
    Location:
    England
    Home page:
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0
    Does a husband have to care for his wifes feelings?

    Does he have a right to be mean to her?

    Is it okay for him to let non muslim women ring him and text him inviting him to places where they drink alcohol?

    please help me because my friend is having trouble with this and feels worthless.
  2. Almeftah
    Offline

    Almeftah Junior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,002
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings Received:
    +2 / 0
    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    Her husband is falling into the traps of Shaytan..
    tell her to try changing her looks and try to please her husband the best way she knows how to stop him from looking to other women, and playing quranic recitations most of the time helps.

    May Allah give her the strength and patience, And guide her husband back to the right path.
  3. Zayna85908
    Offline

    Zayna85908 Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    I am unemployed
    Location:
    England
    Home page:
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0
    thank you thats helps a bit. salamalaykum
  4. aishah_2304m
    Offline

    aishah_2304m peace lover

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2008
    Messages:
    274
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    striving harder each day for Allah
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0
    asalamualikyum wa rahmutlaahi wa baraktu sister....

    In Marriage

    The Noble Qur'an 4:19 -
    O ye who believe! ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.


    Hadith - Tirmidhi -
    "The most perfect of the believers is the best of you in character, and the best of you are those among you who are best to their wives."

    sister am sure u know the above....but jus wanna say about the case u mentioned about ur friend - patience is the key...her husband needs to be told that he is gettin into traps...he should not be in an environment where alcohol is consumed as its haraam in islam....we humans should avoid the first step itself as its like a slippery slope...sittin in that environment is like showin that we have no issues with drinkin alchol and meetin with the opposite sex...he should not talk to non-muslim or muslim women unnecessarily on the phone....at work for professional reasons only.

    i hope u get mi point sis ... tell her to remain strong in her deen and deal with her husband in a wise way.. show him proofs that its not allowed!

    onli Allah can help...anythin sister feel free to share!:hearts:

    ur sister in islam,
    Aishah :hijabi:
  5. muhammadin
    Offline

    muhammadin Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2008
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0
    This is really sad that we are hearing such cases very often nowadays

    i would ask her to keep patience and do sabr. and not to change her behavior to him. Most of the time, women out of anger and stress, start nagging n keep doubting on him for everything he does. This will start taking him away fr om her

    Tell her to Think abt herself n d way she treats her husband. It may be that c has changed in the way c was treating him, without realizing. Be the best wife c can to him, and the best help, after Allaah. Stand be his side during this trial and be his support, after Allaah.

    Also advise her to weigh up her husband’s good points and bad points, and do not forget his good qualities n his kind treatment to her, because that will motivate her to try to bring him back to the right path in his religion and in his relationship with his Lord, first of all, then in his relationship with her

    Also ask her that it may possible that her husband has no intention to keep or make any relation with that lady. She calls n text her dsnt prv that her hsband is having affair wid her. tell her to give positive signs to him without leting him know that she is afraid of him going to another lady.

    Doing this is not easy tho. v know how possessive women r. but she has to keep trust on Allah. tell her to do more n more dhikra and ask help from Allah.

    May Allaah make things easy for her, and make her husband happy with your obedience and make her happy with his good treatment. And Allaah knows best.
  6. Zaynab123
    Offline

    Zaynab123 Subhana Allah!

    Joined:
    May 3, 2008
    Messages:
    2,009
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    46
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    Ohio
    Home page:
    Ratings Received:
    +3 / 0
    :salam2:
    MY SISTER IS WRITING!!!
    PLEASE TELL THIS TO UR FRIEND,WHEN IT COMES TO MUSLIM WOMEN SHE SHOULD NOT MARRY A NON MUSLIM MAN BECOZ THINGS LIKE U SAID CAN HAPPEN. AND THAT IS NOT ANYBODY'S FAULT. ALLAH SUBHANA WATA'ALA HAS WARNNED US AND WE SHOULD RESPECT IT.

    AND IF HE IS CALLING HIMSELF MUSLIM BUT AT THE SAME TIME DOING THAT THEN SHE SHOULDN'T MARRY SOMEONE LIKE HIM AT FIRST PLACE. I WISH MUSLIM WOMEN REALIZE THE BEAUTY OF ISLAM. WHEN A MUSLIM WOMAN GETS MARRIED SH HAS RIGHTS SO BEFORE DECIDING TO GET MARRIED SHE SHOULD KNOW WHO SHE IS. MARRYING IS IT THE RIGHT PERSON OR THE WRONG PERSON? CAN U GET ALONG WITH THIS PERSON? IS HE OR SHE GONNA PROTECET ME? IS HE OR SHE A GOD FEARING PERSON? I MIGHT BE TOO YOUNG BUT THESE ADVICES ARE FROM MY SISTER.
    MAY ALLAH GUIDE HIM AND HER AMEEN:tti_sister:
    LET HER WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!!!
    [YT]6XQpnRI2sdE[/YT]
  7. xSharingan01x
    Offline

    xSharingan01x TraVeLer

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    724
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    26
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    California
    Home page:
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0

    Is it okay for him to let non muslim women ring him and text him inviting him to places where they drink alcohol?


    You don't have to be a scholar to say that it is not okay and such actions are seriously violating moral parameters set by Islam. (referring to the bold statement)

    I'm assuming your friend's husband does not practice?
  8. Zayna85908
    Offline

    Zayna85908 Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    I am unemployed
    Location:
    England
    Home page:
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0
    He prays salah hardly ever. He never prays fajr morning. Hardly ever zuhr afternoon. He prays asr hardly ever maghrib and isha.

    It doesnt seem like he is fearing Allah punishments. Just seems not bothered.
  9. nori suja'i
    Offline

    nori suja'i Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings Received:
    +2 / 0
    assalaamualaikum,
    i'm sorry for what happened to yr friend's husband behavior. i'm also a housewife and trying my best to help.
    AlQur'an is the best medicine actually as Allah's word contains a lot of miracles. why dont u give your friend this suraah:

    Qul inkungtum tuhib bunaullah
    fatta bi'u nee yuhbib kumullah (Al-i Imran Ayat 31)

    means:Say "If u do love God, Follow me;God will love you And forgive you your sins;For God is Oft - Forgiving, Most Merciful".

    Ask her to recite these suraah after every prayer as much as she can. while reciting the suraah tell her to imagine her husband's face with intention lillahi ta'ala (for Allah sake) then blow to her palm upwards then rub to her face upwards too.
    this is not magic but privilege for all muslim who trust Allah's miracles. may be it takes time but she has to be patience. InsyaAllah her husband will love her more, be yaqiin to Allah too.

    wassalaam.
  10. Aapa
    Offline

    Aapa Mirajmom

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,991
    Likes Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings Received:
    +150 / 12
    Salaam,

    The important matter is to make your friend understand that she is not worthless. She needs to raise her iman. She needs to become stronger and understand that she is a willing and pleasing slave of Allah subhana talla.
    For a moment she needs to concentrate on herself.
    Yes, she needs to create an environment in her home that is close to heaven. It can be done. It is not difficult. The first agent is simple. Under all circumstances she needs to be grateful. Alhumdullia. Please tell her to listen to what the sisters and brothers have reccomended. Add flowers and incense as a reminder that our souls are in our body. Contrast the beauty of a Muslim woman in her home of faith to that of the duyna. Even our Prophet, may the blessings and peace of Allah subhana talla be upon him, told men to allow time for the women to comb thier hair. Make yourself beautiful for him. Wear perfume, take the time to dress and do girlie things, and simply listen to him when he speaks or let him sit in peace.
    Let the power of faith free her husband to the home of faith away from the sadness of alcohol. She will pass this test and we will make dua for her.
  11. khalidvaltrans
    Offline

    khalidvaltrans Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    supervisor
    Location:
    UAE Dubai
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0
    :salam2: i am agree with you sister. jazakallah kheran kasira.

Share This Page