Problem Prayers getting in the way of getting children to sleep

Discussion in 'Women, Family, and Marriage' started by Scarf, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. Scarf
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    Scarf Member

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    I am a recent revert- very recent, like just this week recent- and I wanted to know how other Muslims deal with... well... getting children to sleep while still doing prayers on time. I'm struggling because four of five obligatory prayers occur either during my child's naptime, his bedtime, or when I should be asleep. As I am still busy memorizing the prayers, it takes me about 20 minutes to finish ablutions and salah. My child is the sort of bad sleeper that takes two to four hours of completely uninterrupted attention to fall asleep. If I leave him alone for even a minute, he will panic and it will take a couple more hours to get him to fall asleep. I've tried praying right in the room with him, but he tries to climb all over me and scream in my ears the entire time and I just can't focus on Allah. I was already exhausted before I took on the challenge of obligatory prayers... Now I'm lucky if I can get four hours of sleep at night because praying interrupts getting him to sleep, and it interrupts what little sleep I was able to get before. He hasn't been getting enough sleep either and it's making us both extremely irritable. I've already nearly missed a couple prayers and only managed to do them because I completely gave up on getting my son to sleep.

    How do other Muslim parents deal with this issue?
  2. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    First, MashaAllah on your conversion.

    You are dealing with a lot. A young child and the demands of Islam.

    Most mothers let the children climb over them, I used to place the children on the prayer rug and let them be.

    You must realize that Shytan is going to make it difficult for you to pray. He is upset with you.

    You need to work on the habits of your child. It seems that he is quite spoiled. Two hours of attention...that makes little sense. As we do not know the age of the child it is impossible to make suggestions.

    Two hours to have a child go to sleep is too much. What is the natural cycle of sleep for your child. Some children are nocturnal.

    Besides, a little crying never hurt a child. Keep the child next to you.

    Some sisters pray with the child in their arms. You can sit in a chair. Children love to go down to bow and yelp with the prostrations.

    I am confused about the timings. Fajr is coming in later now. And Isha is coming in early.

    Please study the requirements for wudu. There are times when you do not have to make wudu...you remain in a state of wudu between prayers. For example between Asr and Maghrib. Some are fortunate and do not break wudu.

    I pray this helps, somewhat.
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  3. Scarf
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    Thank you for responding. I'm sure Shaytan is trying very hard to make my prayers difficult.

    My child recently turned two. He's terrified of me leaving the room even when he isn't trying to sleep. I've never seen such bad separation anxiety! But never in his life has it taken less than two hours to get him to sleep. It used to take six hours, and I'm not exaggerating- he just would not go to sleep! It's awful. He gets tired at night, around 6 in the evening, but he just refuses to settle down and stay in bed. If I'm not right next to him, practically pinning him down into bed, he gets up and tries to play. We never could afford a crib for him, so he never had a bed that he couldn't get out from. I recently tried to sleep-train him, but once I got to the point where you're supposed to leave the room, he became absolutely hysterical and screamed for hours without stopping and became even more anxious whenever I left the room after that!

    Lately I've been trying to get him to sleep around 7 PM. He usually doesn't fall asleep until 9:30 or 10. And he usually wakes up two or three times at night and panics because I'm no longer next to him. And I'm so exhausted because I'm pregnant, so I want to sleep until 8 AM. That does mean that from before Maghrib to after Fajr, I'm either trying to get my child to sleep or sleeping. And he gets tired for his daytime nap about half an hour before Dhuhr, so Asr is the only prayer time when I'm not dealing with sleep issues.

    Sometimes he likes to imitate my motions while I pray. It's not such a big deal if I don't have to leave the room at all, but I can't stay in his room for Wudu. I have studied the requirements. Alas, I can't stay in a state of wudu for very long as I am late in pregnancy and always having to run to the loo:shyhijabi:. Hmm, maybe I should keep a small bucket of clean water in his room so I can do my ablutions right there?
  4. friend263
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    friend263 Junior Member

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    Assalamualaikum dear sister I am in the same state as u I have two kids one of them is three and other one is one year old. How old is ur kid? What I do sometimes is while standing I take the younger one in my arms sometimes and the other one besides me and many of the times I sit and pray keeping both of them on my lap also as sister APA suggested that please get in details of knowing how to do wudoo the requirement of wudoo and other details I know its very difficult to manage everything also please change the sleeping pattern of your child. Also what I do sometimes is combine two salahs at a time when my children's sleep like Zohar and asr or asr or magrib. It all depends on the situation sometimes they irrorate me a lot may Allah subhanawatala ease our difficulties and forgive our sins.. aeem
  5. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Sweet sisters,

    How much I wish to be a grandmother. I have given my sons five years and I am counting the days.

    I had cribs but they climbed out of the cribs and into my bed. They jumped out of the cribs. I tried the toddler beds etc. They were free and wild. While they were pre-teens they jumped on my bed and broke it.

    A bath is relaxing for a child. And a glass of hot milk. Stuffed toys help to keep the bed area comfy. Make sure the children are eating enough and not hungry. I still eat all night long.

    Enjoy the pregnancy. Sister, do not drive yourself crazy. When a sibling comes along the older child grows up over night.

    Sisters, why don't you guys exchange ideas, pediatric journals, links...etc

    This old gal is going to get a snack...milkshake with a cookie.

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