Albint_Almuslima
Im Proud 2 B Me!
PROPER WAY OF LIVING
The Holy Qur'an says:
Wa- ucbudo 'Allah Wa-laa Tushriko Bi-he shay'an wa-bi-al- Waalidain ih-saan'an Wa- bi- dhl al- Qurbaa Wa- al- Yataamaa Wa- al- Masaaken Wa- al- Jarr dhel al- Qurbaa Wa- al- Jaar al- Junub Wa- as.- S.aah.ib bi- al- Junub Wa- ibn as- Sabel Wa- maa Malakat Aymaan -kun 'Inna 'Allah laa yuh.ibb man kaana Mukhtaal'an Fakhora'an
" And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and into the neighbor who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbor who is not of kin and the fellow traveller and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful, " (Nisaa - 36)
DUTIES TOWARDS PARENTS
The Holy Qur'an and Sunnah have laid great emphasis on meting out the treatment to the parents. Serving the parents well has been declared as a highly virtuous act and a great asset on this world as well in the Hereafter, Our parents deserve our greatest regard obedience and service after Allah and His Messenger.
Almighty Allah has decreed:
Wa kadha rabu'ka Allah ta'abu'du Illah Iya'a wa-bil-walidaini Ih-saa'nan.
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Allah, and that you be kind to parents."
The spiritual and moral duties are not brought into juxtaposition. We are to worship none but Allah, because none but Allah is worthy of worship. Here we are asked to show kindness to our father and mother. It means parental love should be to us a type of divine love, Our spiritual advancement is tested by this. We cannot expect Allah's forgiveness if we are rude or unkind to those who unselfishly brought us up.
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) states:
" I submitted to the Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as to which act Allah likes best."
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
" The prayer offered in time."
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) submitted:
" What's it that Allah likes next best?"
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
" Good treatment of your mother and father."
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) again submitted:
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
" Jihad in the way of Allah." (Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) reports:
" One day a person come to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and submitted:
" By giving my hand into your hand I swear allegiance for performing Hijrat and Jihad and I beseech reward from Allah in return for this."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) enquired:
" Is one of your parents alive."
He submitted:
" Yes, praise be to Allah, both my father and mother are alive."
Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Do you really want to get a reward from Allah for performing Hijrat and Jihad?"
the man submitted:
" Yes, indeed I beseech reward from Allah in return for these acts."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Go then. Attend to your parents and serve them well." (Muslim)
Hadrat Abu Umama (Allah be pleased with him) reports:
"A man enquired from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him):
"O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! What are the rights of parents over their children?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said:
" Your parents are your Paradise and they are your Hell." (Ibn Majah)
Everyone should keep showing his gratitude to his parents all the time. It is the basis of good manners and a fundamental principle of life. They are to be considered as the practical source of nourishment and physical existence. We grow up to adulthood under their loving and tender care. They offer supreme and unparalleled sacrifices in bringing up their children to perfection. Recognizing the hardships and difficulties undergone on the upbringing of their children. Almighty Allah raises their status so much that He ordains His servants to render their thanks to Him followed by their thanks to their parents. The Holy Qur'an says:
" And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents."
One should, therefore, keep highest regard for the feelings and desires of his parents. Every possible care should be taken that their feelings are not hurt and their wishes and desires do not go unfulfilled. They mighty grow short-tempered and peevish and my become careless regarding the feelings of their young ones. However, their children should never pay them in the same coins. They should put up with even their unusual demands cheerfully and silently, without any complaint or annoyance.
Hadrat Abu Sa'eed khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reports that a person visited the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) from Yemen.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) enquired from him:
" Do you have any relatives at Yemen?"
He submitted:
"Yes, my father and mother are there."
Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) asked:
" Did they give you permission to depart?"
He submitted:
"No, I didn't seek their permission."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Go back and seek permission of your parents. Come back and join Jihad in case they agree, otherwise serve them." (Abu Dawud)
Hadrat Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" The man who gets up in the morning after having discharged his duties concerning his parents, he will find the two gates of Paradise open for him in the morning; in case there is only one parent, the person will find one door of Paradise open for him; On the contrary, if a man gets up in the morning after having disregarded any duties laid upon him by Allah concerning his parents, he will find two gates of Hell open from him in the morning; in case one of the parents is alive, the man will find one gate of Hell open for him."
The man submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! If the parents are treating him badly what then?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! observed:
" Yes even if they are treating him badly; yes indeed even if they are treating him; yes, indeed even if they are treating him badly." (Mishkat)
Your wealth and riches are the property of your parents and hence spend on them with an open hand.
They Holy Qur'an says:
yas'alunak ma-dha yun-fikuna kul ma'a an'faktum min khair'an falil-waldaini
" They ask you concerning what they should expend. Say: whatsoever you expend of wealth (let it be) for the parents.." (Al-baqrah -215)
The first demand of Faith in practical life is that a Believer should spend generously and with a willing heart for the welfare of the human society and thus purge his heart of the love of wealth and riches -- the main obstacles to the Faith.
Among the different heads of expenditure the most important is expending on parents. It must be kept in mind that it is not valid to spend the amount of Zakat and prescribed charity on parents.
Once a person come to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and lodged a complaint that this father took from him as much wealth as he wanted. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) sent for the complainant's father. An old, infirm man come walking with the help of a stick. When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) asked him about the complaint of his son, the old man submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! There was a time when I was strong and he was weak and helpless. I had money and he was empty-handed. I never forbade him then to lay his hands on anything that I possessed. Today, he is strong and healthy and I am old and infirm. Now he has money and I am empty-handed. He now denies me access to his goods."
Having heard this tale of woe of the old man, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) burst into tears and remarked addressing the son of the old man:
" You and your wealth and property belong to your father." (abu Dawud)
Treat your father and mother well even if they are non-Muslims. But, however, your refuse to obey them in case they ask you to indulge in acts of polytheism and other sinful acts.
The Holy Qur'an says:
wa was'si-na-al in'sana bi-waldaihi ih-sa'ana ham-lat-ho um'mu-hu kur-han'wa wa dha'atu-hu kur-han-wa hamal-hu wa fisa'a-luhu sala-sa'una shahran
" We have enjoined one man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother hear him, and in pain did she give him birth. They carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty month." (Al-Ahqaf - 15)
Although both father and mother deserve respect and good treatment, but the natural weakness of the mother and the pain and hardships borne by her give her more right on you and she needs your service and devotion more in comparison to your father.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) has emphasised this fact on a number of occasions.
Hadrat Abu Hurairah ( Allah be pleased with him) reports:
" A man visited the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! Who deserves the best treatment from me --- my father or mother?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Your mother."
He again submitted:
" And next?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Your mother."
Third time also he received the same reply.
When the man repeated his question for the fourth time, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Your father." (Al- Adabul Mufrad)
Hadarat Jahma (Allah be pleased with him) visited the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) I have come to seek your guidance for joining the Jihad."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) interrogated:
" Is your mother alive?"
Jahma ( Allah be pleased with him) submitted:
" Yes, she is alive."
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said:
" Go back to her then and serve her, for Paradise lies under her feet." (Ibn Majah, Nasa'i)
Hadrat Awais ( May Allah show His mercy) was a contemporary of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) but he never got an opportunity to call on the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him). In spite of the burning desire in him to visit the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) had forbidden him to come to him. He could not even perform Hajj till his mother was alive. (Ibn Majah)
Foster mother also deserves respect and devotion.
Hadarat Abu Tufail ( Allah be pleased with him) reports:
" I once was the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) distributing meat at a place called Ja'rana.
Meanwhile a lady appeared on the scene. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) showed her respect and spread out his sheet for her to sit on. I enquired from the people.
" Who is this lady?"
The people told me:
" This lady is the foster mother of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)." (Abu Dawud)
Hadrat Abu Hurairah ( Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Death deprives a person of the opportunity to perform anything more, yet three things continue to be of benefit to him even after death --- a charitable act which continues benefiting people; knowledge that keeps spreading; and pious offsprings who continue to offer prayers and invoke mercy of Allah upon him." (Abu Dawud)
It is incumbent upon the offsprings to fulfill the contracts, promises and will made by their dead parents. Their parents might have taken a vow; they might have owed a debt to somebody but failed to repay before death; they might have made a will before their death. Thus their offsprings owe a responsibility to fulfill all such demands after their death.
Hadrat Abdullah bin Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) stats:
" Hadrat Sa'ad bin Ubada (Allah be pleased with him) submitted to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him):
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him): My mother had taken a vow: but she departed before she could fulfill it."
"May I carry out her vow?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
"Why not! You must fulfill the vow on her behalf." (Abu Dawud)
Friends of father and mother too deserve due respects. Seek advice guidance from them and what they give in the form of advice should be honoured.
Once the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) remarked:
" There is no better act of piety than what a man does with the friends of his father in the form of good behaviour." (Ibn Majah)
The Holy Qur'an says:
Wa- ucbudo 'Allah Wa-laa Tushriko Bi-he shay'an wa-bi-al- Waalidain ih-saan'an Wa- bi- dhl al- Qurbaa Wa- al- Yataamaa Wa- al- Masaaken Wa- al- Jarr dhel al- Qurbaa Wa- al- Jaar al- Junub Wa- as.- S.aah.ib bi- al- Junub Wa- ibn as- Sabel Wa- maa Malakat Aymaan -kun 'Inna 'Allah laa yuh.ibb man kaana Mukhtaal'an Fakhora'an
" And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and into the neighbor who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbor who is not of kin and the fellow traveller and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful, " (Nisaa - 36)
DUTIES TOWARDS PARENTS
The Holy Qur'an and Sunnah have laid great emphasis on meting out the treatment to the parents. Serving the parents well has been declared as a highly virtuous act and a great asset on this world as well in the Hereafter, Our parents deserve our greatest regard obedience and service after Allah and His Messenger.
Almighty Allah has decreed:
Wa kadha rabu'ka Allah ta'abu'du Illah Iya'a wa-bil-walidaini Ih-saa'nan.
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Allah, and that you be kind to parents."
The spiritual and moral duties are not brought into juxtaposition. We are to worship none but Allah, because none but Allah is worthy of worship. Here we are asked to show kindness to our father and mother. It means parental love should be to us a type of divine love, Our spiritual advancement is tested by this. We cannot expect Allah's forgiveness if we are rude or unkind to those who unselfishly brought us up.
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) states:
" I submitted to the Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as to which act Allah likes best."
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
" The prayer offered in time."
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) submitted:
" What's it that Allah likes next best?"
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
" Good treatment of your mother and father."
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) again submitted:
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
" Jihad in the way of Allah." (Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) reports:
" One day a person come to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and submitted:
" By giving my hand into your hand I swear allegiance for performing Hijrat and Jihad and I beseech reward from Allah in return for this."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) enquired:
" Is one of your parents alive."
He submitted:
" Yes, praise be to Allah, both my father and mother are alive."
Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Do you really want to get a reward from Allah for performing Hijrat and Jihad?"
the man submitted:
" Yes, indeed I beseech reward from Allah in return for these acts."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Go then. Attend to your parents and serve them well." (Muslim)
Hadrat Abu Umama (Allah be pleased with him) reports:
"A man enquired from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him):
"O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! What are the rights of parents over their children?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said:
" Your parents are your Paradise and they are your Hell." (Ibn Majah)
Everyone should keep showing his gratitude to his parents all the time. It is the basis of good manners and a fundamental principle of life. They are to be considered as the practical source of nourishment and physical existence. We grow up to adulthood under their loving and tender care. They offer supreme and unparalleled sacrifices in bringing up their children to perfection. Recognizing the hardships and difficulties undergone on the upbringing of their children. Almighty Allah raises their status so much that He ordains His servants to render their thanks to Him followed by their thanks to their parents. The Holy Qur'an says:
" And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents."
One should, therefore, keep highest regard for the feelings and desires of his parents. Every possible care should be taken that their feelings are not hurt and their wishes and desires do not go unfulfilled. They mighty grow short-tempered and peevish and my become careless regarding the feelings of their young ones. However, their children should never pay them in the same coins. They should put up with even their unusual demands cheerfully and silently, without any complaint or annoyance.
Hadrat Abu Sa'eed khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reports that a person visited the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) from Yemen.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) enquired from him:
" Do you have any relatives at Yemen?"
He submitted:
"Yes, my father and mother are there."
Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) asked:
" Did they give you permission to depart?"
He submitted:
"No, I didn't seek their permission."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Go back and seek permission of your parents. Come back and join Jihad in case they agree, otherwise serve them." (Abu Dawud)
Hadrat Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" The man who gets up in the morning after having discharged his duties concerning his parents, he will find the two gates of Paradise open for him in the morning; in case there is only one parent, the person will find one door of Paradise open for him; On the contrary, if a man gets up in the morning after having disregarded any duties laid upon him by Allah concerning his parents, he will find two gates of Hell open from him in the morning; in case one of the parents is alive, the man will find one gate of Hell open for him."
The man submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! If the parents are treating him badly what then?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! observed:
" Yes even if they are treating him badly; yes indeed even if they are treating him; yes, indeed even if they are treating him badly." (Mishkat)
Your wealth and riches are the property of your parents and hence spend on them with an open hand.
They Holy Qur'an says:
yas'alunak ma-dha yun-fikuna kul ma'a an'faktum min khair'an falil-waldaini
" They ask you concerning what they should expend. Say: whatsoever you expend of wealth (let it be) for the parents.." (Al-baqrah -215)
The first demand of Faith in practical life is that a Believer should spend generously and with a willing heart for the welfare of the human society and thus purge his heart of the love of wealth and riches -- the main obstacles to the Faith.
Among the different heads of expenditure the most important is expending on parents. It must be kept in mind that it is not valid to spend the amount of Zakat and prescribed charity on parents.
Once a person come to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and lodged a complaint that this father took from him as much wealth as he wanted. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) sent for the complainant's father. An old, infirm man come walking with the help of a stick. When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) asked him about the complaint of his son, the old man submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! There was a time when I was strong and he was weak and helpless. I had money and he was empty-handed. I never forbade him then to lay his hands on anything that I possessed. Today, he is strong and healthy and I am old and infirm. Now he has money and I am empty-handed. He now denies me access to his goods."
Having heard this tale of woe of the old man, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) burst into tears and remarked addressing the son of the old man:
" You and your wealth and property belong to your father." (abu Dawud)
Treat your father and mother well even if they are non-Muslims. But, however, your refuse to obey them in case they ask you to indulge in acts of polytheism and other sinful acts.
The Holy Qur'an says:
wa was'si-na-al in'sana bi-waldaihi ih-sa'ana ham-lat-ho um'mu-hu kur-han'wa wa dha'atu-hu kur-han-wa hamal-hu wa fisa'a-luhu sala-sa'una shahran
" We have enjoined one man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother hear him, and in pain did she give him birth. They carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty month." (Al-Ahqaf - 15)
Although both father and mother deserve respect and good treatment, but the natural weakness of the mother and the pain and hardships borne by her give her more right on you and she needs your service and devotion more in comparison to your father.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) has emphasised this fact on a number of occasions.
Hadrat Abu Hurairah ( Allah be pleased with him) reports:
" A man visited the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)! Who deserves the best treatment from me --- my father or mother?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Your mother."
He again submitted:
" And next?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Your mother."
Third time also he received the same reply.
When the man repeated his question for the fourth time, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Your father." (Al- Adabul Mufrad)
Hadarat Jahma (Allah be pleased with him) visited the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) and submitted:
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) I have come to seek your guidance for joining the Jihad."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) interrogated:
" Is your mother alive?"
Jahma ( Allah be pleased with him) submitted:
" Yes, she is alive."
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said:
" Go back to her then and serve her, for Paradise lies under her feet." (Ibn Majah, Nasa'i)
Hadrat Awais ( May Allah show His mercy) was a contemporary of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) but he never got an opportunity to call on the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him). In spite of the burning desire in him to visit the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) had forbidden him to come to him. He could not even perform Hajj till his mother was alive. (Ibn Majah)
Foster mother also deserves respect and devotion.
Hadarat Abu Tufail ( Allah be pleased with him) reports:
" I once was the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) distributing meat at a place called Ja'rana.
Meanwhile a lady appeared on the scene. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) showed her respect and spread out his sheet for her to sit on. I enquired from the people.
" Who is this lady?"
The people told me:
" This lady is the foster mother of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him)." (Abu Dawud)
Hadrat Abu Hurairah ( Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
" Death deprives a person of the opportunity to perform anything more, yet three things continue to be of benefit to him even after death --- a charitable act which continues benefiting people; knowledge that keeps spreading; and pious offsprings who continue to offer prayers and invoke mercy of Allah upon him." (Abu Dawud)
It is incumbent upon the offsprings to fulfill the contracts, promises and will made by their dead parents. Their parents might have taken a vow; they might have owed a debt to somebody but failed to repay before death; they might have made a will before their death. Thus their offsprings owe a responsibility to fulfill all such demands after their death.
Hadrat Abdullah bin Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) stats:
" Hadrat Sa'ad bin Ubada (Allah be pleased with him) submitted to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him):
" O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him): My mother had taken a vow: but she departed before she could fulfill it."
"May I carry out her vow?"
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) observed:
"Why not! You must fulfill the vow on her behalf." (Abu Dawud)
Friends of father and mother too deserve due respects. Seek advice guidance from them and what they give in the form of advice should be honoured.
Once the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) remarked:
" There is no better act of piety than what a man does with the friends of his father in the form of good behaviour." (Ibn Majah)