Tabassum07
Smile for Allah
:salam2:
During this Ramadan, on the last day, I had a dream, where I saw myself attending something like a large gathering/function, and there were a lot of curtains behind which some people would disappear after they were called. In the dream, then I was curious and went to see what was behind the curtains. There were some people there, and on left and right were two doors. I went close to one door, and then one of the persons standing said in a menacing whisper "you should go inside that door, it is very popular." So I go inside, and it was a long long hallway filled with a line of people. But from the end of the hallway, there was a feeling of a lot of heat. I got scared and escaped. Later on in the dream, after I leave the gathering and was on my way home, I had to cross a railway crossing. Again, there were a lot of people, and the railway crossing was like a bridge under which a fast river was flowing. And the railway crossing was such, that suddenly at places the bridge would give way at small places and people were falling into the river. Very scared, I somehow managed to get away from there too safely, and then I don't remember what the rest of the dream was, but at the end I reach a large place and there were fireworks going off. Then I woke up.
Needless to say, this dream scared me very very much. I can see that the person who whispered represented shaitaan. The popular hallway was the way to Hell and the railway crossing I think meant Pul-e-siraat. From the day I've had this dream, I've found myself sliding more and more into religion. I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't very particular about Salaat before, sometimes I would offer, sometimes not. But now, not only am I completely particular, but since Ramadan, I've also been making up all the salaat I've missed. (For example, every day, after fajr salaat, I read two extra fard rakaat farj qaza, then with zuhr, four fard rakaat qaza, four during asr, three qaza in magrib, and then the fard and vitr in isha). Is this way okay? I've also started keeping a salaat diary, where I mark whenever I miss anything (even from the qazas) so I can make them up as soon as possible and keep track of everything.
My question: I've been trying to become a better muslim as much as possible. However, I need to keep a balance. I was never a very big TV/movie watcher, but now even if I watch a harmless cartoon, I think, "I should not be doing this." I love good literature, but yesterday I picked up one of my favourite novels, but then again I thought "Should I be doing this?" I've become sad and depressed for some reason. No body in my family wears the hijab, and even though I'm surrounded by muslims, I note that in India, wearing hijaab isn't very common. All this saddens me very much. I've been wanting to start with hijaab, but it will take some time I think.
Please give some suggestions and reassuaraces. I have become obsessed with every little detail. Is watching TV or reading stories, when a person is not watching anything sinful to the eyes, okay? Tell me how to bring about a balance between religion and life.
During this Ramadan, on the last day, I had a dream, where I saw myself attending something like a large gathering/function, and there were a lot of curtains behind which some people would disappear after they were called. In the dream, then I was curious and went to see what was behind the curtains. There were some people there, and on left and right were two doors. I went close to one door, and then one of the persons standing said in a menacing whisper "you should go inside that door, it is very popular." So I go inside, and it was a long long hallway filled with a line of people. But from the end of the hallway, there was a feeling of a lot of heat. I got scared and escaped. Later on in the dream, after I leave the gathering and was on my way home, I had to cross a railway crossing. Again, there were a lot of people, and the railway crossing was like a bridge under which a fast river was flowing. And the railway crossing was such, that suddenly at places the bridge would give way at small places and people were falling into the river. Very scared, I somehow managed to get away from there too safely, and then I don't remember what the rest of the dream was, but at the end I reach a large place and there were fireworks going off. Then I woke up.
Needless to say, this dream scared me very very much. I can see that the person who whispered represented shaitaan. The popular hallway was the way to Hell and the railway crossing I think meant Pul-e-siraat. From the day I've had this dream, I've found myself sliding more and more into religion. I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't very particular about Salaat before, sometimes I would offer, sometimes not. But now, not only am I completely particular, but since Ramadan, I've also been making up all the salaat I've missed. (For example, every day, after fajr salaat, I read two extra fard rakaat farj qaza, then with zuhr, four fard rakaat qaza, four during asr, three qaza in magrib, and then the fard and vitr in isha). Is this way okay? I've also started keeping a salaat diary, where I mark whenever I miss anything (even from the qazas) so I can make them up as soon as possible and keep track of everything.
My question: I've been trying to become a better muslim as much as possible. However, I need to keep a balance. I was never a very big TV/movie watcher, but now even if I watch a harmless cartoon, I think, "I should not be doing this." I love good literature, but yesterday I picked up one of my favourite novels, but then again I thought "Should I be doing this?" I've become sad and depressed for some reason. No body in my family wears the hijab, and even though I'm surrounded by muslims, I note that in India, wearing hijaab isn't very common. All this saddens me very much. I've been wanting to start with hijaab, but it will take some time I think.
Please give some suggestions and reassuaraces. I have become obsessed with every little detail. Is watching TV or reading stories, when a person is not watching anything sinful to the eyes, okay? Tell me how to bring about a balance between religion and life.