Right of Divorce for Women

[Mohammad Rafoqie]

By Mohammad Rafiqu Etesame
Some people see the Islamic law of divorce by a different point of view. They are of the opinion that the wife should also divorce to her husband according to the need of time as her husband can divorce her.
The Question arises: who should, actually enjoy the right of divorce both wife or husband? In the first position, if both the spouses enjoy the right of divorce, then the ratio of divorce will be increase . And it will play havoc with the family system. For example, we see in the Western countries, where divorce is excessively given, marriage is as a joke there. Whenever one of the spouses wants, he/she divorces the second one. Often it so happens that when the husband returns home from his daily work, he finds his wife missing and a notice of divorce placed on the table. Some times its subject is as:-
“My Dear! I divorce you and I feel no sorry over it Because I don’t like you at all. Now I have chosen another partner for life and we are going to court for marriage. So, by the golden memories of the gone days….by by!!”
To avoid such irregularities and to make the family system safe and sound, Islam awards right of divorce only to the husbands. Almighty Allah Says in the Holy Qur’an, “If ye divorce them before ye have touched them and ye have appointed unto them a portion, then (pay the) half of that which ye appointed, unless they (the women) agree to forgo it, or he agreeth to forgo it in whose hand is the marriage-tie. To forgo is nearer to piety. And forget not kindness among yourselves. Allah is Seer of what ye do.” (Al-Baqarah:237)
It is a matter of fact that the woman is more emotional and sentimental than the man. If she is awarded the right of divorce, she can separate herself from her husband over a trifle, So, for the betterment of the family system , it is necessary that only the husband should enjoy the right of divorce.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,


I believe you have jumped the gun.

Divorce is a process. In Islam there are guidelines. It is not a matter of a whim. It is a serious business. The process includes the family to intercede. Divorce is not an emotional issue by the mere definition of the word. Is not a hadith that informs us about a sisters right to divorce. Did the Prophet, swas, not marry her after the divorce?

 

[Hajjerr]

Salam aleykum


All Praises are Due to Allah

The divorce of a Muslimah from her husband is an affair which is loathsome to Allah and not a praise worthy event. This is due to the problems and possible evils. However, if there is a situation in the marriage life taking place between the man and the women, due to a defect or defects in one or both of them, such problems of deen, bad character, sickness, or a defect such as being sterile or similar. Then out of the mercy of Allah, seeking divorce is permissible. In this case, it is okay and there is nothing prohibited in seeking a divorce.

The thing which is prohibited is a wife seeking a divorce from her husband for no reason of the shariah. There is serious promise made for seeking a divorce without a valid reason. It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a women asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187.)

The hadith "marry and do not divorce for verily divorce causes the arsha (throne of Allah) to shake" is also forged and da'eef. (Al Jami As- Sagheer #2429)

Allah knows best.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

If a woman is more emotional and more sentimental than a man, by no means one can translate that as irrational.
I am sorry brother but the woman in your example is NOT a symbol for the women`s character all over the world, muslims or not.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”
[al-Nisa’ 4:34]
We know this from Quran Alhamdulillah..but because men are superior in rights and responsability, does not make women to totally lack in logic or reason.
Unlike some other religious books, there is no mention in the Qur'an that woman has been created of some inferior material, or that she has any parasitic and leftist aspect. Islam does not support the notion of the people who suppose that the spouse of Adam was created of his left ribs. Islam has no contemptuous view of woman in regard to her nature and innate character.

 

[Mohammad Rafoqie]

Salam aleykum


All Praises are Due to Allah

The divorce of a Muslimah from her husband is an affair which is loathsome to Allah and not a praise worthy event. This is due to the problems and possible evils. However, if there is a situation in the marriage life taking place between the man and the women, due to a defect or defects in one or both of them, such problems of deen, bad character, sickness, or a defect such as being sterile or similar. Then out of the mercy of Allah, seeking divorce is permissible. In this case, it is okay and there is nothing prohibited in seeking a divorce.

The thing which is prohibited is a wife seeking a divorce from her husband for no reason of the shariah. There is serious promise made for seeking a divorce without a valid reason. It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a women asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187.)

The hadith "marry and do not divorce for verily divorce causes the arsha (throne of Allah) to shake" is also forged and da'eef. (Al Jami As- Sagheer #2429)

Allah knows best.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

If a woman is more emotional and more sentimental than a man, by no means one can translate that as irrational.
I am sorry brother but the woman in your example is NOT a symbol for the women`s character all over the world, muslims or not.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”
[al-Nisa’ 4:34]
We know this from Quran Alhamdulillah..but because men are superior in rights and responsability, does not make women to totally lack in logic or reason.
Unlike some other religious books, there is no mention in the Qur'an that woman has been created of some inferior material, or that she has any parasitic and leftist aspect. Islam does not support the notion of the people who suppose that the spouse of Adam was created of his left ribs. Islam has no contemptuous view of woman in regard to her nature and innate character.

Honorable Sister in Islam, Assalamo alikum wa rahmatu Allah!
You are right by saying that seeking divorce is permissible in some cases like sickness, bad character etc. But, noteable that the wife can seek divorce from his husband due to that reasons but she cannot give him divorce by herself. So, it is the main difference between seeking divorce and to give divorce of the wife to her husband by saying “I divorce you”. To seek divorce from her husband is permissible it is called “khula” (divorce obtained by a wife for a ransom by her or some other person on her behalf). It is mentioned in the Holy Qur’an,” Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honor or released in kindness. And it is not lawful for you that ye take from women aught of that which ye have given them: (except in the case) when both fear that they will not be able to keep within the limits (imposed by Allah) And if ye fear that they may not be able to keep the limits of Allah, in that case it is no sin for either of them if the woman ransom herself. These are the limits (imposed by ) Allah. Transgress them not. For whoso transgresseth Allah’s limits: such are wrong doers. (Al-Baqarah: 229)
I mentioned in my article about the Westernized Muslim women (not pure Muslimah) or the Western women (none Muslims). So please understand it.
Regards,
Mohammad Rafique Etesame

 

[Hajjerr]

Salam aleykum

I consider true that the man has to give divorce and the woman can seek it as long as she has the right reasons. But at the same time i consider your example and your reasoning very inappropriate and offending. In article is mentioned a westernized woman, but muslimahs enter in the same group, as married women that dont have right to divorce.

Islam has laid the complete financial burden on the shoulders of the men, and a groom is required to bear not only the complete cost of the wedding, the banquet, the clothing, the gifts, the jewelry, the travel, etc. but he has to present a substantial gift ‘mehr’ determined by the bride at the time of marriage as an absolutely obligatory condition of a marriage in Shariah.
If the wife had been given the right to obtain divorce by merely declaring it, there is a possibility of abuse whereby the wife could divorce the husband the very next moment of the ‘nikaah’, thus leaving the husband with a substantial financial loss.
The man has more responsability and, as is natural, more rights; we are build by Allah with different purposes. I understand from islam that we must make justice.
As long as we dont understand this but instead we hold on to ideea that a woman must be controlled because she lacks reason, for many women will be denied the right to study, to work, to have a word when they marry, to react legally when they are abused by the husband and so on...

I am afraid is not about some kind of superiority in the sense of justice that men have, but he has to take the decision of final divorce because he is the maintainer of the wife and also he is the one that deals usually with the legal issues.
I am sorry if i take this to serios and i am sure you have the best of intentions.
Allah knows best.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

Please be so kind as to define: Westernized Muslim women (not pure Muslimah). I need a good laugh. Who put you in charge of my heart? Trust me I know a lot of Western Muslim sisters who shame their non western counterparts in terms of knowledge and deeds. Do you know me? Can you have the courage to look into my soul and tell me I am not pure? Were you raised in the west? Do you know your faith?

Why would you insult sisters?

 

[OnewithAllah]

One would think a "Westernized Muslim" is an oxymoron. You simply cannot mix Western lifestyle with Islamic values. Do you prefer to be a liberal? By all means, go ahead. However, kindly do the rest of us Muslims a favor and renounce Islam. The problem with these phony western "Muslims" is that they think that just because they went to some university, they suddenly have more credentials on life than the Muslims in the East.

A hijabi from Texas thinks its okay to hug males, because she claims she was brought up to be liberal. Surely, this hypocrite is worthy of divorce. Her low standards of morality will bring destruction to any home. We, believers of Allah, and followers of Al Rasool, saaw, should never bend our values in order to be "politically correct." Islam does not change for you. YOU change for Islam.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

I feel sorry for your mother.

Rethink what you have written about your sisters living in the west. Go back and gain some knowledge. Islam is not limited to a country.
What does this have to do with the topic?

 

[sabs1164]

As-salaamu alaikum.


Lets be gentle with our brothers...please!
As-salaamu alaikum

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

Giving me a negative reputation comment does not alter the truth. This thread is sexist and incorrect.

 

[Mohammad Rafoqie]

Assalamo alikum (Aapa)
You wrote that I should rethink what I have written in my article. I am sorry to say that you did not read my article carefully. I respect all the Muslim women living in all over the world. My article is about those women who are none Muslims or impressed by the Western civilization. As my article reveals,” Some people see the Islamic law of divorce by a different point of view. They are of the opinion that the wife should also divorce to her husband according to the need of time as her husband can divorce her.” So if a women impressed by Western civilization, makes a demand that the right of divorce should be given to women also, then it will be resulted so and so as and I gave an example. It does not mean that I blamed or dishonor all the Muslim women. Please prove it by quotes not by your own opinion. Islam does not allow to a Muslim as attacking or blaming other Muslim without any proof. And what you said about me, I also said for you that ,” I also feel sorry for your mother”. Because it is an echo, as you shall say, so shall you hear.
Allah Knows the best what is wrong and what is right.
Mohammad Rafique Etesame

 

[Mohammad Rafoqie]

Assalamo alikum (OnewithAllah)
I did not mix the Western lifestyle with Islamic values at all. If your are true in your claim, then prove it by quotes not mere baseless blaming.
I am sorry to say that you did not read my article carefully. I respect all the Muslim women living in all over the world. My article is about those women who are none Muslims or impressed by the Western civilization. As my article reveals,” Some people see the Islamic law of divorce by a different point of view. They are of the opinion that the wife should also divorce to her husband according to the need of time as her husband can divorce her.” So if a women impressed by Western civilization, makes a demand that the right of divorce should be given to women also, then it will be resulted so and so as and I gave an example. It does not mean that I blamed or dishonor all the Muslim women. Please prove it by quotes not by your own opinion. Islam does not allow to a Muslim as attacking or blaming other Muslim without any proof. And what you said about me, I can also said for you that ,”You also go ahead by all means”. Because it is an echo, as you shall say, so shall you hear?
Allah Knows the best what is wrong and what is right.
Mohammad Rafique Etesame

 

[islamerica]

What exactly is the point of this thread? if someone wants to know the rights of a divorced women, they would go watch or listen to a lecture ore read a book, not some post online. All other posts with accusations against Muslimahs are baseless and full of ignorance.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alikum,

My anger was directed at the thought of insulting Muslim women who happen to live in the west. We walk away from many many things. We hold onto our faith.

As for the misunderstanding about divorce. Muslim women have the right to divorce. It is the last step in a process but we have the right to demand it. No society wants divorce. It breaks the family. It has very negative consequences.

You write a generalization. Women impressed by western culture..when you live in the west it is part of your life. You have to be more specific about your definitions.

And understand in Islam divorce has very specific steps. It is a process.

 

[sabs1164]

What exactly is the point of this thread?

As-salaamu alaikum, this is another reason why some of us don't open threads but online once in a while.
We supposed to be doing it for ALLAH's sake. If one of us is wrong, is asking such a question correcting a person?

For ALLAH's sake, lets be gentle.
As-salaamu alaikum

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

The point of the thread is simple. The OP does not believe that women should divorce on a whim. He believes women are too sentimental and emotional to think through the process of divorce.

Why be upset. Divorce is on the rise among Muslims. We need to understand why.

Questioning to gain knowledge is not a bad thing.

 

[Precious Star]

By Mohammad Rafiqu Etesame
Some people see the Islamic law of divorce by a different point of view. They are of the opinion that the wife should also divorce to her husband according to the need of time as her husband can divorce her.
The Question arises: who should, actually enjoy the right of divorce both wife or husband? In the first position, if both the spouses enjoy the right of divorce, then the ratio of divorce will be increase . And it will play havoc with the family system. For example, we see in the Western countries, where divorce is excessively given, marriage is as a joke there. Whenever one of the spouses wants, he/she divorces the second one. Often it so happens that when the husband returns home from his daily work, he finds his wife missing and a notice of divorce placed on the table. Some times its subject is as:-
“My Dear! I divorce you and I feel no sorry over it Because I don’t like you at all. Now I have chosen another partner for life and we are going to court for marriage. So, by the golden memories of the gone days….by by!!”
To avoid such irregularities and to make the family system safe and sound, Islam awards right of divorce only to the husbands. Almighty Allah Says in the Holy Qur’an, “If ye divorce them before ye have touched them and ye have appointed unto them a portion, then (pay the) half of that which ye appointed, unless they (the women) agree to forgo it, or he agreeth to forgo it in whose hand is the marriage-tie. To forgo is nearer to piety. And forget not kindness among yourselves. Allah is Seer of what ye do.” (Al-Baqarah:237)
It is a matter of fact that the woman is more emotional and sentimental than the man. If she is awarded the right of divorce, she can separate herself from her husband over a trifle, So, for the betterment of the family system , it is necessary that only the husband should enjoy the right of divorce.

Dear brother,

You seem to have a lot of knowledge about divorces in the West. However, I see from your profile that you live in Pakistan!

Have you spent many years living in western countries, studying the rates of divorce and how divorce happens? Please, why don't you share that information with us? How many years did you spend living in the West? What are the Western statistics compared to Pakistani statistics? And when you say "Western" countries, do you mean North America or Europe? Surely you don't mean Australia, which is located in the east -- about as east as you can go, actually!

I find it very interesting that so many Islamic websites have women asking if divorce by text message and email is Islamic. This is rampant in Islamic countries -- a "muslim" man texts his wife 3 times, I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you.

The rate of divorce in Islamic coutnries is 50%. In the West, it is 50%, but a very high rate of re-marriage and the success rate of the 2nd marriages being very high. In Islamic countries, most divorced women never get married again. For whatever reason, muslim men refuse to follow the sunnah of the Holy Prophet and marry divorced and widowed women.

Also brother, I find it very very interesting that you are lambasting muslim women in the West. You know why? At least in MY country, Pakistan is the highest source of immigration....so all these western muslim women were raised in the West by Pakistani's who couldn't wait to leave their muslim land and immigrate go flying to the west, and have their children in the west. What is wrong with Pakistani men????

 

[OnewithAllah]

To be more precise, it is sunnah to marry a divorced woman who is sophisticated and has her own business. I don't see any of those around. Especially not on this website. From what I've gathered, western women "embrace" Islam just to find a muslim husband. Some do, but they end up being divorced once again because the Muslim man realizes that this woman has no Islamic values. And if people like me don't show sympathy for these women, we're the terrible vile inhumane "woman-haters"

Turn to islam with the right intentions and perhaps the man will keep you and feed you. if you don't wish to live a moral and righteous life, pack your things and get out. No man should be obligated to keep a burden in his house.

 

[OnewithAllah]

And as for those Pakistani women who crawled to the west to marry western men....it's more like Pakistan threw out the trash and it landed in America.

 

[Precious Star]

And as for those Pakistani women who crawled to the west to marry western men....it's more like Pakistan threw out the trash and it landed in America.

It is likely at the force of their parents, but for you to call women "trash" - Astaghfirullah. Especially when most of these Pakistani women are young, naive and are simply obeying their parents -- hardly trashy but I am guessing you have done the empirical study.

In any event, to call a womam "trash" is heinous. May God have mercy on you for saying such a thing. I truly hope you never have a daughter.