Salaam brothers and sisters. I need help.

[littlegirl]

Ahsalaam alaikum everyone.

I have written a long time ago about the difficult times i was going through before ramadhaan. * just hope atleast some remembers*
for those who didnt knew i was suffering from really hard days. Shaithan was throwing sinful thoughts on my mind and i didnt know what to do. Not a single a day has passed that i hadnt cried. I wrote earlier that i dont wear hijab but alhamdullilah i do wear now. To be honest i felt like so happy and proud to be a muslim when i wore on the first day of ramadhan and went outside. Those who doesnt wear wear, then you will know how much your life your changes.
Hence, months passed. I am not getting any rid from these thoughts. They are soo bad that i would die than saying that loud. astaghfirullah.. they are really really bad. its not about allah alone, even regarding family, friends... I feel like i should no longer live. But when i think that way i realize to think of such thing is even sin. I dont know how people are at their graves.
I force my self to pray. I pray on time even at fajr prayer i feel proud to wake mom even. I dont know, i just cant sleep. I feel restless if i dont pray. I infact downloaded app to know how many prayers i did on time, sunnah and all. Really, in my life i dont have any aim other than going to heaven.
I want to live a happy life in the world and here after too. But i always end up screwing every day of life.
No matter what i am doing, these thoughts hit me so hard that my mood goes off. I cant study. I cant eat and i am soooo skinny now that i am teenage girl and weights only 38kg.can you blv it? I cant eat, cant concentrate. I am an architecture student. I spend most of my time studying but now nothing is same. I dont go to college to study late thinking cox of these thoughts if i miss prayer for 5 mins even i will end up in hell. prayer, reading quran, respecting parents and family, crying and asking for forgiveness..I try my best to do all the good deeds. My heart melts when i walk and see beggers. I give charity even. despite of that even i still think i will end up in hell cox of these thoughts. sometimes thoughts come like "are u sure what ever u do will be accepted by allah?" astaghfirullah astaghfirullah.. :'(
I changed all the habits. Infact i hate when some plays music. I want to listen too. but i remember its not allowed. I think if i leave this now i will get better here after.

Tonight i am writing down this with a broken heart to you brothers and sisters.
I want to make life better, I just cant get rid from these thoughts. Someone please suggest me what i shall be doing. I am going through a pain which no one understands except allah. I ask for his forgivess everytime. Months passed and i dont feel any better. its 7 months now. I only know what and how it feels like.
I ask everyone of you, who ever reads this, please pray to Allah to take away this pain from me. To take away these thoughts from me. To increase my Iman. To grant me heaven. Grant me Jannath. I dont want to end up in hell. No one understands me when i share this story. I keep on crying and crying yet nothing becomes good.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. INCLUDE ME IN UR PRAYER. :'( I really really beg for that. :'(

jazakallah khair.

 

[uniqueskates]

Walaikumassalaam..

I know not what you are gg thro.. But the way you have described it, it seems you are in pretty bad state. Lets go on a optimistic approach shall we??

Well to start of with a verse from Quran

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people." - 2:286

Am sure you must have heard this? It's quite famous. One of the verses, which gives me and many more - a strength to perserve and stand firm in my faith. I believe it whole-heartedly that our Allah(SWT) won't test us more than we can bare.. We might think that, we are gg thro tough time and can't tolerate it anymore.. But when the dark clouds have passed over, we do realize how much we have evolved ourselves, expanded out limits, broaden our horizons.. So it's for the best.. Whatever you are facing.. HE(SWT) IS MAKING YOU STRONG..

Regarding the thoughts you are having.. There is a hadith on thoughts.

“Verily Allah has recorded the good deeds and the evil deeds.” Then he clarified that: “Whosoever intends to do a good deed but does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it with Himself as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times, or more than that. But if he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it down as one single evil deed.” - [Bukhari and Muslim]

I guess that should be a bit of relief to you.. YAY!!

No coming to your eating, concentrating, studies and day to day activities : -

Well, you know better than me that Islam is to travel on the middle/moderate path. It teaches and tells you to maintain an equilibrium between the two parts of your life, and combine them to form as one. So therefore, if you don't concentrate on YOURSELF and your day to day life.. I think you are making Allah(SWT) sad by not taking care of the beautiful creation HE(SWT) has made.. But, it's not too late.. You can still please HIM by taking good care of yourself sister. He(SWT) is Ar-Rehman Annd practically - if you don't study and concentrate, how will you beautify homes(as u said architecture) am sure Allah(SWT) loves beautiful things , how will you earn more to give for charity, how will you earn to take care of your parents.. So you see, there also you are pleasing HIM. DOUBLE - BONUS..!!

And regarding you begging? - This is my personal opinion - I don't like ppl begging.. You can request, but beg not to any human.. Beg only to Allah(SWT) as HE(SWT) will provide you with everything as HE(SWT) provides for the animals and birds that go out during the day and come back home with their tummies full

Yes, will rem you in my prayers. InshaAllah.
May HE(SWT) ease you pain and strength your imaan. Ameen..
Keep smiling - It's sunnah, Be patient - Allah(SWT) loves ppl who are patient..
Peace

 

[Peony Weed]

well my dear, to change your lifestyle is not an easy task and I agree with the brother to take it in moderation. I am not a psychologist, but from the way you write, you don't sound like you have problem with temptations like I do, but rather you're too worried of making mistakes that Allah will put you in hell fire. I'd say, it is not something wrong to think it that way.

but to gain "Ihsan" doesn't mean you need to just sit down the whole day doing nothing but to say prayer and zikir to Allah. There are many famous Sufi like Imam Hassan al-banna and Imam al-Ghazali who are not only being very religious but they're famous for their contribution to the society in academic and economy.

Now, put it this way too:
architecture study
you should focus in your study because of Allah, many Muslims architect around. by being a muslim architect, you could ensure that the building that you're designing has Islamic features like prayer area and stuff (which are mostly neglected, most are allocated next to a toilet and bad ventilation because it's the last thing they put in the blueprint, not a priority to non-muslim).
To be good at what you do is a way for you to show your gratitude to Allah by helping other muslim.

your health
do not feel bad about yourself to say that you need help. Speak to someone whom you can trust. it is even better if you could find someone religious to listen and guide you. If you can't eat and can't focus in life, it will affect your health. If you don't have good health, you may not be in good form to even focus when perform prayers to Allah.

as to your believe on the whisper by the devil, well remember this "La hawla wala quwawata illa billah". Allah only allows the devil to whisper those word to you as a test to your iman, like bro uniqueskates said...be patience..remember Allah

 

[a_stranger]

Assalmu alaikim please read the following translation of verses:

He said: Reprieve me till the day when they are raised (from the dead). (14) He said: Lo! thou art of those reprieved. (15) He said: Now, because Thou hast sent me astray, verily I shall lurk in ambush for them on Thy Right Path. (16) Then I shall come upon them from before them and from behind them and from their right hands and from their left hands, and Thou wilt not find most of them beholden (unto Thee). (17) He said: Go forth from hence, degraded, banished. As for such of them as follow thee, surely I will fill hell with all of you.


This is only wiswas because shaitan couldn't spoil your pure heart , then he can only wishper , why not let him wishper at the end who will listen to him ....be strong listen to the words of Allah with all your heart he will be down.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

you sure sound like me (when I'm in trouble).

My advice to you is, check you diet. Feed yourself and your soul with the right kind of food. Physical and spiritual weakness can result in depression and negativity. You require a healthy body along with a healthy mind. Go to the doctor, do your tests, get a counselor, do your talking, and start with the medicines for physical and spiritual health.

May Allah grant you shifaa. Inshaa`Allaah, you can snap out of it *Smile*.

 

[strive-may-i]

Ahsalaam alaikum everyone.

I have written a long time ago about the difficult times i was going through before ramadhaan. * just hope atleast some remembers*
for those who didnt knew i was suffering from really hard days. Shaithan was throwing sinful thoughts on my mind and i didnt know what to do. Not a single a day has passed that i hadnt cried. I wrote earlier that i dont wear hijab but alhamdullilah i do wear now. To be honest i felt like so happy and proud to be a muslim when i wore on the first day of ramadhan and went outside. Those who doesnt wear wear, then you will know how much your life your changes.
Hence, months passed. I am not getting any rid from these thoughts. They are soo bad that i would die than saying that loud. astaghfirullah.. they are really really bad. its not about allah alone, even regarding family, friends... I feel like i should no longer live. But when i think that way i realize to think of such thing is even sin. I dont know how people are at their graves.
I force my self to pray. I pray on time even at fajr prayer i feel proud to wake mom even. I dont know, i just cant sleep. I feel restless if i dont pray. I infact downloaded app to know how many prayers i did on time, sunnah and all. Really, in my life i dont have any aim other than going to heaven.
I want to live a happy life in the world and here after too. But i always end up screwing every day of life.
No matter what i am doing, these thoughts hit me so hard that my mood goes off. I cant study. I cant eat and i am soooo skinny now that i am teenage girl and weights only 38kg.can you blv it? I cant eat, cant concentrate. I am an architecture student. I spend most of my time studying but now nothing is same. I dont go to college to study late thinking cox of these thoughts if i miss prayer for 5 mins even i will end up in hell. prayer, reading quran, respecting parents and family, crying and asking for forgiveness..I try my best to do all the good deeds. My heart melts when i walk and see beggers. I give charity even. despite of that even i still think i will end up in hell cox of these thoughts. sometimes thoughts come like "are u sure what ever u do will be accepted by allah?" astaghfirullah astaghfirullah.. :'(
I changed all the habits. Infact i hate when some plays music. I want to listen too. but i remember its not allowed. I think if i leave this now i will get better here after.

Tonight i am writing down this with a broken heart to you brothers and sisters.
I want to make life better, I just cant get rid from these thoughts. Someone please suggest me what i shall be doing. I am going through a pain which no one understands except allah. I ask for his forgivess everytime. Months passed and i dont feel any better. its 7 months now. I only know what and how it feels like.
I ask everyone of you, who ever reads this, please pray to Allah to take away this pain from me. To take away these thoughts from me. To increase my Iman. To grant me heaven. Grant me Jannath. I dont want to end up in hell. No one understands me when i share this story. I keep on crying and crying yet nothing becomes good.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. INCLUDE ME IN UR PRAYER. :'( I really really beg for that. :'(

jazakallah khair.

Assalaamu Alaikum,

Sister LittleGirl, you seem in your own world. You thoughts are going round n round, almost borderline. Its not healthy. People will never understand the story, because it has nothing much to understand, other than that you are suffering the consequence of your thoughts. You seem to be cooking up a lot in your thoughts, and its exhausting you. Its nowhere near Prophet beautiful well balanced deen. Listen to what Sister Seeking Allah's Mercy suggested.

 

[Abu-Talha]

assalam alaykum

sister we know in detail what are you going throu, we have experience about this alot, actualy all the people go throut this, some in more early ages, some i biger ages etc, it is all shaytan work, the moment you started to pray and to fast, shaytan came with this trick to make it hard for you to pray and other things, he just whants to put you in deep thoughts so that you will fell tired and you will leave the ibadah and studies etc

its a hadith about sahabas that complained to the Prophet alayhi salam that they had bad thoughts, and they said its a shame to even tell them, and Prophet alayhi salam said to them " this is a iman", becasue thos people hate it thos thoughs, and the hate of thos thoughts are sing of a iman, and belive me sister, i speak with clear proof that you are a strong believer, your hate of thos thoughts its a sign that you have strong iman and you have strong character, you are blessed our sister

you just need to not stay in deep thoughts, do not let shayatan put you in thos thoughts, i will give you a example of this that you will see that it is just a filthy game of shaytan that is trying to make you leave ibadah and things of life, studing etc ...

a person had vasvasa ( doubts and bad thoughts from shaytan) when he prayed and made wudu, it became so hard on him so he said i will leave the prayer and wudu, the moment he said that and he was not planing to go to masjid to pray isha, he was felling more relaxed, then he was thinking, subhanAllah, the moment i made intention not to go and i stoped wudu the waswasa left, this is a clear proof that shaytan is trying to stop me from prayer and wudu, so he got up and took wudu and prayed ishaa in his time, and after this he did a simple thing, he just avoid it thos thoughts and each day the thoughts vanished, each day he felt more relaxed

so this is what shaytan whant, so dont worry sister, you are pure, believe me you are pure and good character, only a person who is sincere would of make a fight with thos thoughts as you did, you are a strong character person 100%

when scholars where asked about waswasa ( bad thoughts and doubts) why muslims have waswasa, the scholars said, if there is one house of poor man and one house of rich man, wich one the thieve will try to rob and to go inside the house, the answer is the rich house, its the same with the heart of beliver, shaytan comes and makes waswasa to the heart of believer because inside of the heart there is a light-iman- a big wealth, inside of the heart of nonbeliever there is no light, so shaytan dosnt need to go to a nonbelievers

so sister you you are pure heart, and strong character for sure, you just need to do some things to avoid this trick of shaytan

1. when you have bad thoughts, dont stay in one place and to start to go in deep thinking, get up and do something, read something, praye, read Quran etc, importen is to be active

2. reading Quran makes heart more strong, and doing dhikr of morning and dhikr of night, you can find them in book " Fortres of Muslim" bu shaykh Khatani

3. take care of your body, take minerals and vitamins, the brain needs good food and vitamins etc, it has strong effect in controlling your mind more, it makes your brain more focus in things, take care of you body, it is very importen, if you have dates, buy them and eat them, there are sites wich i dont remember now, about islamic medicine, if any brother and sister has, they can post it

4. be active with muslim sister friends, dont stay close up in yourself, dont stay alone alot, be social with sister friends

there is a book " Enjoy your life " from shaykh Muhammad al arifi, find that book and read it, its beneficial