Sister rivalry :(

M

muslimeen1989

Junior Member
:salam2:

Hope you all are in the best health and imaan.

I have had a problem with my older sister but its not apparent its more suttle sorry i am posting it here i just need to vent it all out because i keep everything locked up in me and i am really finding it hard to forgive her for her harsh words normally i will just laugh it off but now its getting to me and i feel that i am holding a grudge against her and i dont want that and its thursday tommorrow and i dont want my record to return to Allah with a grudge on it...... Help me i dont know how to let it goo she carries on like normal but her words ring in my head again and again :girl3:

She calls me a "failure" and "Drop out" i know it may sound petty and small but my mum loves her most because she works goes to uni and shes not a "failure" in her eyes but i am looked down on and humiliated by my older sister. She is so arrogant and she always thinks shes right and she doesnt like to listen to me if i advise her, sometimes i feel she likes her friends more than me......

Sorry i wrote too much help me to forgive her its starting to hurt me and i cry when i sleep, but i put on a brave face and smile and be kind to her despite her attitude to me.

:wasalam:
 
Ashima33

Ashima33

Junior Member
Salaam sister,

how old are you? Does your sister and mother look down on you because you do not go to college? Do you not go to college because you don't want to? If you do not want to, that is perfectly fine.

I think in today's society we have the tendency to think that you won't lead a "successful" life unless you go to college. Well, first... I think people need to figure out what their definition of success is. To me, success isn't about money. Here is a quote that I just love, love, love:

"The plain fact is that the world does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage will to join the fight to make the world more habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as our culture defines it." -David Orr


To me, success is also about being the best muslim I can be to Allah, my family, my friends, and myself.

I hope you can find what "success" is for you. And if you feel that you are working towards that, disregard what you mother and sister say and just pray for their understanding.

Wasalaam.
 
M

muslimeen1989

Junior Member
Ashima33 said:
Salaam sister,

how old are you? Does your sister and mother look down on you because you do not go to college? Do you not go to college because you don't want to? If you do not want to, that is perfectly fine.

I think in today's society we have the tendency to think that you won't lead a "successful" life unless you go to college. Well, first... I think people need to figure out what their definition of success is. To me, success isn't about money. Here is a quote that I just love, love, love:

"The plain fact is that the world does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage will to join the fight to make the world more habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as our culture defines it." -David Orr


To me, success is also about being the best muslim I can be to Allah, my family, my friends, and myself.

I hope you can find what "success" is for you. And if you feel that you are working towards that, disregard what you mother and sister say and just pray for their understanding.

Wasalaam.
Click to expand...

:salam2:

Jaza kallahu khairan sis

i am nearly 20 but thats not the point i feel i am always in her shadow and she always puts me down.

My interpretation of sucess is in the next life waiting for me inshallah and i dont care about failures of this life or gathering the harvest of degrees and dunya. I am only in college because my mum wants it and a part of me wants it too but my life does not depend on it. My sister i feel is more respected and loved because she has high aspirations of masters etc etc and blah blah blah sorry but i dont mean to hurt people with degrees ect but she is not doing it for the right reasons she looks after work and uni more that her prayers i would not like to neglect my fajr prayer for kaffir people and to work for them and sacrifice the most beloved thing in this life for me.....

I just dont like this to affect my relationship with my sister and i want to know how do you let all this bottled up feelings and forgive and accept????

its really testing my patience and my love for her :)

:wasalam:
 
dilek

dilek

OntheWayOf ALLAH
:salam2:

As you know each person has their own exams.. and it seems your sister is your exam ;) what you need is patience.. try to accept her how she is.. how much harsh her words dont care, only listen to her and go your way, one moment ll come and she ll get bored of it I'm sure.. an other way you can try to see her as a bonus box :) I mean when you tolarate her words you ll get more hasanat so she ll help you to be near Allah ;) :) a good game :) I say that one as a result of experience, believe me :):) no one can make you sad if you dont let..

:wasalam:
 
S

SaGows

New Member
Sister rivalry

My sister in law has a problem with drugs, although she wont admit it. She claims that she gave up cocaine but she hangs around with the people who do it. I cant see how she would be able to stop doing it when she still runs with the same people that she always did drugs with. Arent I correct here?
 
S

SaGows

New Member
Sister rivalry

Your sister is in denial. If she is still running around with the same crowd, she either hasnt quit or she will not be able to stay off it. She isnt serious until she cleans her slate completely including that crowd.
 
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